Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 26 Tishri, 5784
Parsha Bereshit: (Genesis 1:1 – 6:18)
Fourth Portion: Genesis 3:22 – 4:18
Today we see Adam and Chavah are expelled from the Garden of Eden. My initial take here is that the Garden was designed within us. To be perfectly balanced within. Curiosity – not judgment. Adam and Chavah ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil – so they now had the knowledge of judgment. And because of this – they were forced out. To seek external sources of fulfillment – because within them, within us – they had EVERYTHING they needed – but it “wasn’t enough.”
So Hashem expels them outward. And it is interesting that Genesis 3:24 says this:
“And He drove the man out, and He stationed from the east of the Garden of Eden the cherubim and the blade of the revolving sword, to guard the way to the Tree of Life.”
If I am correct – and the Garden of Eden is within us – then the Tree of Life is within us as well. We have been discussing choices. What is a greater choice – the tree of LIFE or the tree of the KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL. Adam and Chavah had these choices within. To live or to judge. They chose judgment instead of the curiosity of life. We are faced with the same choice.
The tree of life is within. Let’s build our learning off of the past week:
Themes I’ve written about:
- The Path of Ascension begins with curiosity and not judgement
- The Path of Imprisonment begins with judgment and not curiosity
- If someone’s curiosity causes doubt and defensiveness, be curious about our own doubt and defensiveness and NOT their motives for curiosity.
- Curiosity with the intent to manipulate and sow seeds of doubt is problematic for THEM – but doubt and defensiveness is a problem for US.
Today we add:
- The tree of life is within us. Choose life within with curiosity and not judgment
- The tree of knowledge of good and evil pushes us externally. Judgement is always outward to avoid the judgment within
And now – it is time for us to add – the famous story of Cain and Abel.
Let’s read (Genesis 4:3-8):
3Now it came to pass at the end of days, that Cain brought of the fruit of the soil an offering to the Lord.
4And Abel he too brought of the firstborn of his flocks and of their fattest, and the Lord turned to Abel and to his offering.
5But to Cain and to his offering He did not turn, and it annoyed Cain exceedingly, and his countenance fell.
6And the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you annoyed, and why has your countenance fallen?
7Is it not so that if you improve, it will be forgiven you? If you do not improve, however, at the entrance, sin is lying, and to you is its longing, but you can rule over it.”
8And Cain spoke to Abel his brother, and it came to pass when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and slew him.
What I read here THIS TIME is fascinating.
- “At the end of days”
- What? At the end of days? So wait. Is this a story of our future? I hadn’t picked up on this before. Now the midrash adds “at the end (of a number) of days.” But that is quite interesting for sure.
- Cain brings fruit of the soil. What I do NOT read is that Cain bought the FIRST fruits of the soil.
- Abel brings the FIRST born and FATTEST of his flocks.
- This would have clearly indicated Abel brought his best. Cain just brought. Cain did the minimum, Abel went above and beyond.
- This is judgement.
- The curious question for me? WHY? Why did Cain only bring his fruits? Why NOT his FIRST fruits? We just finished celebrating Sukkot – the harvest of the first fruits. And we read Cain just brought fruit.
- The Lord turned to Abel and his offering.
- Instead of getting CURIOUS about WHY Hashem turned to Abel – Cain felt judgment. He did not respond with curiosity. Had Cain been curious – and not been quick to judge, for all we know, Hashem would have turned to Cain AFTER Abel.
We, however, have the luxury Cain did not. We can ask “Why?” And Hashem provides us a decent answer. Hashem turned to Abel and not Cain – FOR CAIN’S GOOD. It’s in Hashem’s response:
7Is it not so that if you improve, it will be forgiven you? If you do not improve, however, at the entrance, sin is lying, and to you is its longing, but you can rule over it.”
We learn here – Hashem was working with Cain – to teach him. Hashem is not judging us. Hashem wants GROWTH and DEVELOPMENT. Curiosity and not judgment. Forgiveness. Growth and Development is the marks of forgiveness.
Full stop.
We talk a lot about forgiveness in the Torah don’t we? This short verse connects us to the idea that we are ALL Cain. Cain has the opportunity to LEARN. To GROW. To IMPROVE. That is the POINT.
We have a choice. Grow and develop on one side – stay stuck on the other.
And here is what being stuck leads to: Sin. We will get into “sin” later. But Hashem gives us ANOTHER choice:
- Long to sin, or rule over sin.
Judgment leads to longing to sin. Curiosity rules over sin.
And Cain doesn’t learn. Doesn’t listen does he? He feels judged. He longs to sin. And he kills his brother. Who LITERALLY did NOTHING WRONG. Because Cain felt judgment. Shame. Guilt. Instead of opportunity. Growth. Development.
- The Path of Ascension begins with curiosity and not judgement
- The Path of Imprisonment begins with judgment and not curiosity
And still. Hashem is full of grace here. We close this portion with Hashem responding to Cain (Genesis 4:14-18):
14Behold You have driven me today off the face of the earth, and I shall be hidden from before You, and I will be a wanderer and an exile in the land, and it will be that whoever finds me will kill me.”
15And the Lord said to him, “Therefore, whoever kills Cain, vengeance will be wrought upon him sevenfold,” and the Lord placed a mark on Cain that no one who find him slay him.
16And Cain went forth from before the Lord, and he dwelt in the land of the wanderers, to the east of Eden.
17And Cain knew his wife, and she conceived and bore Enoch, and he was building a city, and he called the city after the name of his son, Enoch.
18And Irad was born to Enoch, and Irad begot Mehujael, and Mehijael begot Methushael, and Methushael begot Lemech.
Cain sees. He sees what he’s done. He screwed up. Cain was NOW judging himself. Cain knew he deserved death. But Hashem tells Cain – “nope. You are protected. You are learning. You are growing.”
The message is this. Whatever we do. Whatever we’ve done. It was all according to Hashem’s plan. Not because he controls us like robots – but because Hashem exists outside of this time and space. And it would appear what Hashem wants more than anything – is Growth and Development. To not LONG for sin, but to rule over sin. Within. This is all about us. Within us.
So often we look at OTHERS’ sins. We look at what our neighbor is doing “wrong.” But we ignore and are not curious about seeing others’ sin and reflecting within us where we might be doing something similar. As a lesson. As a way to rule over our OWN sin. And not JUDGE.
Be curious. Don’t judge.
- The Path of Ascension begins with curiosity and not judgement
- The Path of Imprisonment begins with judgment and not curiosity
These are my thoughts. What are yours?
This is my commentary from 5783:
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 25 Tishri, 5783
Parsha Bereshit:
Fourth reading (Genesis 3:22-4:18)
As we catch up on genesis this week, I post below where we were a year ago. Today, with freedom and liberation – are we still feeling like we are living in Exile? Or are we living free?
In context of things I’m chewing on NOW, I can see how Cain’s purpose was external and he was not reciprocating the love within. Hashem loved Cain. But that wasn’t enough because Cain didn’t live Cain. To the point his love for himself was connected somehow to his brother Abel.
How do we live like Cain because we’ve been treated like Abel?
And how do we suffer like Cain after we make a mistake and stop loving ourselves even more?
What could have changed the situation? Maybe if Cain had some self compassion – before he kills Abel, maybe he wouldn’t have felt the need to off Abel?
For us; where are we feeling like Cain this morning? Where can we love ourselves in the midst of feeling like we’ve made mistakes? Where can we take that internal love and have it propel us forward? We don’t have to live in our own internal exile. Internal exile is probably a great way to describe unrequited love for ourselves. How do we love ourselves in a way that pushes harmony out into the world? This is what we can do with our freedom! Will we?
What are your thoughts?
This is my commentary from 5782:
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 25 Tishrei, 5782
Parsha Bereshit
Lesson 1: This morning we continue in Genesis. Most of us are familiar with the story of Cain and Abel. After rejecting Cain’s sacrifice and accepting Abel’s, God asks Cain a question; “why are you angry, and why is your face dejected? Surely, if you improve yourself you will be forgiven?”
Rabbi Hayyim Solovelchik (from the 19-20th century) challenges us to think about this question in our own lives;
“God was asking Cain a more subtle question: What is the main reason motivating your anger and dejection?” Is it because your sacrifice was rejected, or because your brother’s sacrifice was accepted? Which was more painful to you?”
This hits me hard. When I’m upset over rejection, it’s obviously both/and – I’m upset because I was rejected but also upset because someone ELSE was accepted. But that is almost an easy answer to avoid going deeper into my heart. Which is the bigger issue for me? Is it that I don’t always get what I want? Or is it because others get what I want.
If I’m brutally honest, I really think it’s the latter (for me). I’m sad I didn’t get something, but I’m really jealous of the person who did. It’s an interesting nuance I don’t often reflect on. I also see this with my kids. If someone is told “no” their IMMEDIATE response is often “but so and so got this!” How do we do the work to let go of that part of us that gets upset over someone else’s success or provision? That’s one of the things I’m reflecting on.
Lesson 2: as much as we put Cain in a box in our heads (Cain was bad, Abel was good), Rabbi Menachem Schneerson writes; “Cain was the first person to repent before God. He set him as an example for all future penitents: it consisted of three practical phases:
- Confession: Cain declared to Hashem “My sin is too great to bear.”
- Exile: “He dwelt in the land of wanderers”
- Rebound into positive action: he fathered a son, he built a city aimed to repair the world he had damaged, he named the city after his sons name. He didn’t keep this a secret. He publicized his achievements boldly to the entire world.
Rabbi Schneerson continues (pronoun change is my own):
“the challenge of the penitent is that when their repentance is complete, they must propel themselves ‘outwards’ into the world. They must free themselves of inadequacy and start to contribute constructively to the world in the most expansive manner possible.”
Whew. That’s a lot. I reflect on how often I get stuck in exile – and my feelings of inadequacy.
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