Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 22 Cheshvan, 5784
Parsha Hayyei Sarah: (Genesis 23:1 -25:18)
Second Portion: Genesis 23:17 – 24:9

It is REALLY interesting.  In today’s second portion, we basically move on from Sarah’s life. This entire Parsha is labeled “the life of Sarah” And yet, this is NOT a Quentin Tarantino movie – where we start at the end and go BACK to the beginning. Let’s dig in (Genesis 23:17-20):

17And so the field of Ephron which was in Machpelah, facing Mamre, was established (as Abraham’s possession). [This included] the field and the cave that was in it, and all the trees that were in the field, which were within its entire border around.

18[It was] to Abraham as a possession before the eyes of the sons of Heth, in the presence of all who had come within the gate of his city.

19And afterwards, Abraham buried Sarah his wife in the cave of the field of Machpelah, facing Mamre, which is Hebron, in the land of Canaan.

20And the field and the cave within it were established to Abraham as burial property, [purchased] from the sons of Heth.

And this is it. That’s as much as the portion goes into Sarah’s life. We turn the page and move to Isaac, and Abraham’s finding him a wife:

1And Abraham was old, advanced in days, and the Lord had blessed Abraham with everything.

2And Abraham said to his servant, the elder of his house, who ruled over all that was his, “Please place your hand under my thigh.

3And I will adjure you by the Lord, the God of the heaven and the God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose midst I dwell.

4But you shall go to my land and to my birthplace, and you shall take a wife for my son, for Isaac.”

So.  One of the things I am reflecting on is how the Torah handles women.  Sarah’s life ends. And we are now focusing on a NEW woman. We read about many men in the Torah.  But it would seem like the Torah focuses on one woman at a time (unless we see daughters doing some things that aren’t that great).

Sarai, Sarah – and now, the feminine is gone from the Torah – it is time for a new woman to enter the picture. And Abraham makes a point and places importance on (asking a dude to place a hand under your thigh? Pretty serious and intimate) finding a wife for Isaac from Abraham’s people. Let’s keep going:

5And the servant said to him, “Perhaps the woman will not wish to go after me to this land. Shall I return your son to the land from which you came?”

6And Abraham said to him, “Beware, lest you return my son back there.

7The Lord, God of the heavens, Who took me from my father’s house and from the land of my birth, and Who spoke about me, and Who swore to me, saying, ‘To your seed will I give this land’ He will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there.

So. Here’s two different takeaways on the life of Sarah:

1. Sarah’s life did not begin until her death. The impact Sarah had on Isaac while she was alive – is her life. Sarah lives on through Isaac. Everything we see Isaac do was established during the life of Sarah.
2. Sarah’s life and then death left a space in the created world that needed to be filled. We needed the next matriarch, and Abraham saw the value and importance of this. Rebecca was the next woman who would build off Sarah’s life.

This leads me to this thought:

What legacy am I leaving to my children? When I pass from this earth, will they see my values lived out through them? Will I build into them safety, peace, patience, and kindness?

I ALSO reflect how my parents’ legacy has lived on in MY life. Which honestly? Is kind of surprising. Let me explain more:

This weekend, I went home to West Chester, PA with my oldest daughter. I showed her my childhood. It was a walk down the legacy my parents left for me. Which at the time I was experiencing it – was incredibly traumatic. And yet, here I was with my oldest daughter, speaking fondly of the legacy my parents left for me:

• We actually started our “tour” with the home my mom lived in when she passed away. We began with the end of my mom’s life.
• Then we went to my high school and elementary school.
• Then my childhood home.
• We got a picture in front of our house together
• We went to the place of one of my favorite memories as a kid – a place called Booth’s Corner
• We then ended up at my parents grave site – where I put together than on my mom’s grave was the word “grandmother” which I realized in that moment – the ONLY reason that was on the monument was because of my oldest daughter. My mom died 6 months after she was born. She never even met my daughter. And yet loved my daughter a ton.

I share all of this to put together; my mom’s best lives on through me. And through my daughter.  But only because I am free. Free to choose which life I want to move forward with. One of the pain and trauma of my mother’s life – or one of value, freedom, and legacy. The life of my mother continues through MY life, and the life of the next crucial woman in our legacy – my oldest daughter. That might feel like some pressure – and may feel like a prison – but let’s go back to the Torah portion.

Here is how today’s portion ends (Genesis 24:8-9):

8And if the woman will not wish to go after you, you will be absolved of this, my oath; only do not return my son back there.”

9And the servant placed his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and he swore to him concerning this matter

Abraham gave his servant an “out” – the woman (who we know is Rebecca) had a CHOICE.  He was not to force the woman to return. She got to decide.

My children have a legacy to uphold – but it is purely a choice. I have a legacy to uphold – but it is purely a choice.  I can build upon the positive legacy my parents left for me – and truly live the “life of Arlene” (my mother’s name) or choose to live a different life. Freedom. Liberation.

I want to give my children the choice – do they want to live the “life of Benjamin” (my Hebrew name) or do they want to go their own way and live a different life?

We see Abraham give Isaac a legacy too.  What Isaac does with the legacy is up to him.

What are your thoughts?

Here is my commentary from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for Heshvan 20, 5783

A year later and this passage still really gets to my heart. Our goal as Jews is to know Hashem, and really make Him known among the nations. To spread an awareness of Hashem.

I’m reflecting on my life this past year; and I can see I know Hashem more than I did a year ago. And I think I’ve also made Him known more than I did a year ago. I feel good about that. Still a lot has changed since this passage came up a year ago.

Where are you at with knowing Hashem? Have you grown this past year?

Torah thoughts for Heshvan 19, 5782

Todays passage is about the burial of Sarah and the foundation of Abraham’s desire to find Isaac a wife.

The portion begins with Sarah’s burial. What strikes me about this is how Abraham has planned ahead. We learned in yesterday’s portion that The cave where Sarah was buried is designed for four couples. Rashi writes Four couples were buried in the cave of Mamre: Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Leah.

That’s interesting to me. I’m not exactly sure how Adam and Eve ended up in this particular cave. Looking further, this comes from the idea in Genesis 23:2 where it says that Sarah was buried in Kiriath-arba. Arba is four in Hebrew.

Also, in doing some research, I found this from Wikipedia; “According to the Midrash, the Patriarchs were buried in the cave because the cave is the threshold to the Garden of Eden. The Patriarchs are said not to be dead but “sleeping”. They rise to beg mercy for their children throughout the generations. According to the Zohar, this tomb is the gateway through which souls enter into Gan Eden, heaven.

Some interesting thoughts to make sure we highlight the importance of Sarah’s role in our history as Jews!!

The portion finishes up with Abraham giving directions to his servant (Eliezer) and asking him to swear an oath. The directions are as follows:

1. Do not find a wife from the daughters of the Canaanites
2. Go to Abraham’s birthplace and find a wife there
3. Do NOT under any circumstances bring Isaac to Abraham’s birthplace.
4. God will go ahead of you, it will all work out
5. If the woman doesn’t want to leave; your oath is absolved

Why? That’s the question I’m chewing on. Why all this trouble?

Rabbi Ephesus of Luntshits in the 16th/17th century writes (and I’m going to paraphrase);

Why not Canaan?

1. 1. The Canaanites were (mostly) self indulgent.
   2. Laban and Bethuel weren’t self indulgent, but were idol worshippers

Why not bring Isaac to Abraham’s homeland?

1. 1. Idol worship isn’t an inherited quality but a cultural phenomenon
   2. Ur (Abraham’s homeland) was full of Idol Worship. He didn’t want Isaac to be surrounded by it
   3. Abraham wanted the woman to be removed from the idol worshiping culture and brought to Isaac and not the other way around.

Those are some pretty satisfactory answers, tbh.

Let me close the Torah thoughts today with this; the Tanakh I’m reading has this “spiritual vitamin” for us;

“Abraham, the first of the Patriarchs, the first Jew – demonstrated the goal of a Jew: that wherever you may find yourself, and in whatever company you may be, the focus of every day life is to spread awareness of God such that all those around you see that God is “God of the heavens” and “God of the earth.”

This comes from verse three where Abraham refers to Hashem in this way.

As a Jew, my (our) goal should be to spread awareness of God. That’s fascinating because growing up, I’m not sure I was taught or modeled that. I learned early on to compartmentalize my Jewish-ness. At synagogue or Hebrew school I was Jewish. At school or with friends I did everything to avoid my Jewishness. I am still learning this concept; but you can’t compartmentalize your Neshama (Jewish soul). It’s a part of you (us).

Some interesting thoughts! I’d love yours as well! The more we engage, the more we grow!

I hope we all have a great week; may we have ease, may we be free from danger, may we avoid suffering!