Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 10 Shevat 5784
Parsha Bo’: (Exodus 10:1 – 13:16)
Seventh Portion: Exodus 12:52 – 13:16

Shabbat Shalom!  Today is an interesting day – it is the last rest before the full moon coming up this week.  The fullness of Shevat – when we will plant new trees and see new abundance for the new year ahead. It’s been an amazing month as many around me have been digging into a lot of soil to remove old trees.  And – seeds are being planted for some new ones to grow.  I am super excited for some things coming up in the week ahead to announce – so new trees being planted that hopefully you will all join me with!

As we focus the Exodus and framing it around our grief, this morning I’ve been reflecting on how our grief works.  Our grief will always be with us.  Someone posted this morning about the void created in holding space for someone, and it being empty space.  I think I see it a smidge differently:

That piece of us we’ve lost with grief isn’t missing; it’s still there. And it’s not a void – it’s a vacuum; and it is filled within by whatever is within us – and maybe at the moment.  If we are angry, and that vacuum is created, the void is filled by the vacuum and becomes anger within us. If we are scared, that vacuum fills the void and becomes fear within us.

And.

If we are in our self-love, compassion, empathy, and joy? That vacuum sucks in that self love, compassion, and joy and is filled with that energy. This makes sense, right? Because that void/vacuum can only be created because we know within us that we were willing to risk love.

I’d rather have 1000 vacuums that are full of the love I have for who I am and the risks I took than, to never have risked.  So that – when those people, things, relationships, etc return to me? They are NOT met with emptiness – they are met with love.

Those aren’t voids to me. They are places of fullness that are so much more compassionate, soft, and caring than I would ever have imagined.

And.

Vacuums suck.

So – with this energy – let’s dig into the close of Parsha Bo! The context is the Israelites are leaving Egypt! It is time to be free!

1The Lord spoke to Moses, saying,

2″Sanctify to Me every firstborn, every one that opens the womb among the children of Israel among man and among animals; it is Mine.”

Wait. So – the children of Israel are free – and all of a sudden, Hashem says “here are the rules.” Um. Thanks?  You are telling us what to do?

And.

Think about it. What I wrote above. Grief. Creating vacuums. Maybe I am not fully correct? Maybe these aren’t vacuums – maybe these are WOMBS!  Within us we have these wombs that need to be opened. Our grief is designed to release the anger from these past wounds in these wombs – and be sanctified – so they are replaced with LOVE. Self Love. The Love from our Neshama.

Right? This makes sense!

The first thing grief did – when the children were released from Egypt? Hashem made sure the wombs were open. And that required sanctification.  What does this word mean?

• The action of making or declaring something holy.  To set apart as or declare holy; consecrate.
• The action or process of being freedfrom sin or purified.

So. With our grief – when we lose someone, something – do we set that space apart as holy? Or do we fill it with guilt or shame?

This is our takeaway, right?

Meditate and reflect on our grief. Is the space of grief filled with guilt? Shame? Anger? Sadness? How can we bring it to light and sanctify it, so the space created by grief – the womb – be filled with love?

Let’s keep going:

3Moses said to the people, “Remember this day, when you went out of Egypt, out of the house of bondage, for with a mighty hand, the Lord took you out of here, and [therefore] no leaven shall be eaten.

4Today you are going out, in the month of spring.

I am also reflecting this time of year. We are moving out of the darkest days of winter. We are seeing the spring ahead. The light is getting brighter. And.  It still feels dark.

And it’s a PERFECT time for planting new trees. Let’s keep going:

5And it will come to pass that the Lord will bring you into the land of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Hivvites, and the Jebusites, which He swore to your forefathers to give you a land flowing with milk and honey and you shall perform this service in this month.

As we are being pulled back right now? We are going to be slingshot into a land flowing with milk and honey. And when we do? Hashem has given us directions to follow – for the PURPOSE of connecting with Him:

6For seven days you shall eat unleavened cakes, and on the seventh day, there is a festival for the Lord.

7Unleavened cakes shall be eaten during the seven days, and no leaven shall be seen of yours [in your possession], and no leavening shall be seen of yours throughout all of your borders.

8And you shall tell your son on that day, saying, “Because of this, the Lord did [this] for me when I went out of Egypt.”

9And it shall be to you as a sign upon your hand and as a remembrance between your eyes, in order that the law of the Lord shall be in your mouth, for with a mighty hand the Lord took you out of Egypt.

10And you shall keep this statute at its appointed time, from year to year.

Ok. So – following along – when we release and plant a new tree on Tu B’Shevat, when we enter a land flowing with milk and honey? This is the summary of what we are called to do:

• As soon as we get there – as soon as we arrive to that moment, there is a moon cycle connected with this arrival. We are called to begin this process before that moon cycle ends:
  • Set a week apart – seven days.
    • Eat unleavened CAKES during the entire week
    • No leavening in our possession or any of our borders during this week
  • Then – throw a party on the seventh day.
  • We are to have a conversation with our kids about why we are having a party
    • Because of this moment with you, Hashem did this for me when I left my spiritual and physical slavery
  • Wrap tefillin
• And – when we arrive, we do this every year to remember.

Ok. Full stop. Let’s back up.

Yes – on one hand this is the Passover seder being laid out for us. And? I feel grief. Because I don’t think I have ever eaten unleavened CAKES as the mitzvah of Passover. Don’t get me wrong, for desserts, we’d make cakes.  But this isn’t my understanding of the Mitzvah.  We eat Matzah – which is unleavened BREAD.

So now. Those of you who know me. You know what is coming next, right? The dude who brought you “Is a Hotdog a Sandwich?” Or “What is the difference between a cookie and a cracker?” Or “What is the difference between a mountain and a hill?” Now brings us this:

What. Is. The. Difference. Between. Bread. And Cake.

And this isn’t a NEW argument – for those of you who know me.

Banana Bread? Cake.

Zuchinni Bread? Cake.

Challah? Not cake.

Matzah? Not cake.

So – to me? Cake is sweet. Bread is savory. Except Cinnamon/Raisin Bread. So the sweet/savory argument fails.

What is the difference? I am going to do something I usually don’t do – I am going to leave this for now – but something to chew on, right? (See what I did there?)

Before we move forward, let’s play this out in the real world.  So – Tu B’Shevat, I am working with another spiritual coach and we are collaborating on a series of classes around Valentine’s Day (DM me if you are interested – spots will be limited). We are launching on Tu B’Shevat. We are going to launch our slingshot – and see when it lands. I wonder, when it lands, and the abundance comes – maybe Hashem WANTS us (me?) to sanctify the moment it lands – because after all, it could NOT have landed without Hashem.

So to remove the leaven in my house for 7 days and throw a party when it’s over? And remind my kids of how amazing Hashem is? That feels – right – somehow.

Maybe Passover isn’t just about the Exodus of Egypt? Maybe its about our own personal exodus as well? Something to reflect on…

Let’s keep going:

11And it will come to pass when the Lord will bring you into the land of the Canaanites, as He swore to you and to your forefathers, and He has given it to you,

12that you shall give over to the Lord whatever opens the womb, and every miscarriage that opens the womb of an animal which will be yours, the males belong to the Lord.

13And every firstborn donkey you shall redeem with a lamb, and if you do not redeem [it], you shall decapitate it, and every firstborn of man among your sons, you shall redeem.

So when we get to the land – we are to give over “whatever opens the womb.”

This is why the Torah focuses on men so much – we are the inspiration behind “opening the womb.”

Now I am reflecting on this.  So often – we place value in Judaism on how the Torah treats men and women.  It seems SUPER patriarchal.  But maybe that is because we, as men, are designed to “open the womb.” And maybe we are so utterly bad at this? Women have resorted to doing it for themselves? Because THEY KNOW what opens their womb. They don’t need an instruction manual. It’s us as men that do!

This is interesting on so many levels (and it relates to the class I am working on, BTW). Ok – let’s keep going:

14And it will come to pass if your son asks you in the future, saying, “What is this?” you shall say to him, “With a mighty hand did the Lord take us out of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.

15And it came to pass when Pharaoh was too stubborn to let us out, the Lord slew every firstborn in the land of Egypt, both the firstborn of man and the firstborn of beast. Therefore, I slaughter [for a sacrifice] all males that open the womb, and every firstborn of my sons I will redeem.

16And it shall be for a sign upon your hand and for ornaments between your eyes, for with a mighty hand did the Lord take us out of Egypt.

So. I am reflecting – how much of this is about our masculine? The death of the toxic masculinity within us? The bondage our masculinity keeps us in – and how the shadow masculine has to pass away – so we can be free.

For the purpose? Opening up wombs.

And given we just started this with connecting grief to wombs? I don’t think that is a coincidence.

And.

Wombs sounding like wounds?

I am not sure that is coincidence either.

What are your thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 6 Shevat, 5783

Shabbat Shalom! How are we holding up? We are 1/3 the way through the beginning of Shevat (harshness). Are we remaining grounded?

Today’s portion and my thoughts from a year ago bring me to the place of really learning to “trust the process.” What I’ve been learning as of late is how often I get ahead of myself. And I don’t allow the timeline to catch up to me. I make plans upon plans; when really I need to come back to the moment, be in the moment, see the moment, experience the moment. That’s what I’m called to do. everything else is taken care of.

Hashem has it all laid out. He’s the one who gets us caught up. He gave the Jews a prescription. They didn’t have to really do much other than follow directions.

And that’s the thing, huh? How can freedom and liberation work with following directions? And that seems the mystery and paradox of life!

Curious as to your thoughts!

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for Shevat 6, 5782

Today we wrap up Parsha Bo’ which begins our journey out of Egypt and into the wilderness, with the goal of getting to the Promised Land.

Yesterday we left off in the aftermath of the death of the firstborn. The Jews were given final mitzvahs to perform to draw them closer to Hashem, and then it was time to go.

God speaks to Moses with another opportunity for us to draw close to Him;

1. Sanctify to Hashem every firstborn. The first of each womb among the children of Israel, humans and Animals belong to God.

Rabbi Moses Alshekh writes (I’m paraphrasing) The Jews believed the plague of the firstborn and exodus was because It was a fulfillment of God’s promise to Abraham.

He continues; “In truth the Jewish people left Egypt far earlier than planned. This is because their level of morality had degenerated to such an extent that if they had stayed any longer, they would have been unworthy of redemption. In order to hint to this point, Moses discussed the laws of leavened and unleavened bread before introducing the law of sanctifying the firstborn. The message was subtle: Just as it takes a few minutes to turn an unleavened product into leaven, so too, has the Jewish people remained just a short while longer in Egypt, they would never have been able to leave.

I ALSO think that the Jews likely saw the plague of the firstborn and exodus as an ending of the story at the time, when in reality it was a beginning. The giving of the firstborn was a reminder that their journey was just beginning. Just my opinion. I’m curious to what you think!

Moses then gives the people even more opportunities to connect with Hashem (where we get the genesis of the Holy Days of Passover):

1. Remember this day, when you went out of Egypt
2. Therefore leaven should not be eaten
3. Today you are going out, in the month of Abib(a spring month when weather is mild); when God will bring you into the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Hivites and Jebusites which He swore to your forefathers right give you, then you will perform this Passover ritual in this month.
4. For seven days, eat unleavened bread
5. The seventh day is a festival for Hashem
6. Unleavened bread is to be eaten during the seven days, and no leavened bread shall be seen in your possession. No leaven that belongs to you shall be seen in your borders
7. You shall tell your son (child) on that day, saying “Because of this (the commandments of Passover, unleavened bread and butter herbs) God did this for me when I went out of Egypt.” (More on this one in a bit)
8. The exodus from Egypt shall be a sign upon your hand and a remembrance between your eyes, so that the Torah of God shall be in your mouth, for with a mighty hand God took you out of Egypt.
9. You shall keep this statute at it’s appointed time from year to year
10. (paraphrasing): when you come into the land of the Canaanites consider this as a gift He gave to you (and not as an inheritance from your ancestors). You shall set aside for God the first of every womb. The males belong to God from every miscarriage which emerges first from the womb that belongs to you. (More on this in a bit as well)
11. Redeem every first born donkey with a lamb (we need to talk about this too)
12. If you do not redeem the donkey, you must break the back of its neck with an ax.
13. You should redeem every first born person among your sons (for five sheckels)
14. If your son (child) asks you in the future “What is this?” You shall say to them; “With a Mighty hand God took us out of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. When pharaoh stubbornly refused to send us out, God slew every firstborn in the land of Egypt, both the firstborn of people and animals. Therefore I’m slaughtering to God all males that come out of the womb first and I will redeem everyone of my firstborn sons.”

15. It shall be a sign upon your arm and totafot (teffilin) between your eyes because God took us out of Egypt with a mighty hand.

Whew. That’s a lot. Let’s go back a little:

The idea that miscarriages counted for the firstborn dedication to Hashem is interesting to me. It’s very comforting to know Hashem acknowledges that miscarriages happen; and they are part of this process.

I’ll share something personal. We have six children, all girls. However, my ex-wife was pregnant seven times. The child after Talyah was a miscarriage. We didn’t know whether the baby was a boy or a girl. However, given this passage, I really believe this was our firstborn son. It was a miscarriage that emerged from my ex’s womb and belongs to Hashem. This is a symbol of our journey as a family from Egypt out into a family of liberation and freedom. It brings me comfort to believe this. It may or may not be true; and when I get to meet Hashem face to face I will make sure to ask Him!

Ok. Let’s talk donkeys. As we have been noting, it seems like the Torah has a special place for donkeys. In terms of this passage, the Talmud says “Only the firstborn of a donkey must be redeemed, not the firstborn of any other non-kosher animal. The donkeys helped the children of Israel carry the cumbersome treasures of gold and silver out of Egypt, and God wanted to reward them.

We can learn from this that “anyone who performs kindness is not forgotten by God.”

Finally let’s talk about the two parts that involve our children. 7 and 14 above involve answering the questions our kids ask us. And it is easy to disconnect from this and read this as an outsider.

But if I listen, this tells me that if one of my children asks why we celebrate the Passover the way we do, I am literally supposed to respond like this; “Because of the commandments of Passover, unleavened bread, and bitter herbs God did this for me when I went out of Egypt.” And “With a mighty hand God took us out of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. When Pharaoh stubbornly refused to send us out, God slew every firstborn in the land of Egypt, both the firstborn of the people and animals. Therefore I am slaughtering to God all males that come out of the womb first, and I will redeem every one of my firstborn sons.”

The keys above are the words “I” and “us.” My brain says “but we weren’t THERE.”

The Talmud says this; “In every generation, a person must see himself as though he had that day been liberated from Egypt.”

The spiritual vitamin in the Torah I am reading says this;

“Liberation from Egypt” means attaining freedom from the obstacles and limitations which you encounter on your way to self-fulfillment, hindering you from reaching your destiny and from accomplishing what you must. That is why the freedom which you experienced yesterday does not hold good for your position and state of today, and your attainment today will prove inadequate tomorrow.”

I’m really reflecting on this; first. What are the obstacles and limitations which I deal with on my journey? How do those obstacles appear today, even if yesterday I was able to navigate them? I need to be focused on this freedom and liberation daily. I cannot rest in the past to passively experience the present. I need to actively engage with the moment as that is all I have. The next 60 seconds. What do I do to attain my next step in my journey? What obstacle do I need to overcome? That’s it!

What are your thoughts as we leave this parsha?