Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 22 Adar II, 5784
Parsha Shemini – “Eighth”: (Leviticus 9:1 – 11:47)
Second Portion: Leviticus 9:17 – 9:23

Good morning! As we enter this final week of Adar II, as we enter into this final week before the new moon for Nisan, as we enter this final week before the solar eclipse, we just need to pause and breathe.

I feel it.

You likely feel it too.

Pain.

Frustration.

Confusion.

I see it. You do too.

We are inside a deep cocoon.

We know we are meant to be butterflies.

We know we are meant to be free.

And we are stuck.

In our pain. In our frustration. In our confusion.

We are missing something. Something beyond the fabric of the world we find ourselves in. Something WOVEN into the fabric. Something woven into our cocoons.

Wonder.

Where is wonder?

What is wonder?

Wonder is a feeling. It’s a noun. The meaning I found online says this: “A feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar or inexplicable.”

We can’t see the pain, the frustration, or confusion of our cocoon as beautiful. And that’s not a judgment. It’s a curiosity. WHY? Why can’t we see it as beautiful.

We CAN likely see the pain, frustration, or confusion as unexpected.  Can we at least wonder at the unexpected nature of our pain, frustration, or confusion?  Or? Will we deaden it in our hearts by telling ourselves “I deserve this. It is to be expected?” To see this pain, frustration and confusion as unexpected means we have to accept our royalty. We. Don’t. Deserve. This.  So WHY? Why am I experiencing this? This isn’t a why that demands an answer. This is a why that is “surprise mingled with admiration.”

We can’t likely see the pain, frustration, or confusion as unfamiliar.  We have been here many times before. We have grown accustomed to it. We can’t see it as beautiful.

We CAN likely see it as inexplicable. We can be honest and say, “I really don’t know WHY this is happening. I don’t UNDERSTAND it.”

So if we have lost our sense of wonder? Maybe this is the time we can explore and WONDER about how we lost our wonder.

And.

Wonder isn’t just a feeling. It’s an ACTION. It’s a verb. The meaning I found online says “A desire to be curious to know something.”

I work with people all the time – and when I ask them a question, sometimes I get an immediate reaction of “I don’t know!”  And I know as a coach, as a friend, as a parent, as a lover; there is SOMETHING here. Because to quickly say “I don’t know” when asked a deep question? Requires a lack of wonder. Instead of “I don’t KNOW….hmmmm….I want to know…let me reflect.”  It’s “I don’t know so stop asking!”

This, my friends, is wonder.

And it’s the part of the cocoon we are in that we need to focus on.

It is in THIS spirit, we dig into the Eighth portion. The perfect portion.

The context is Aaron was offering the people’s offering. He had offered up their sin and guilt offerings yesterday.

17And he brought forward the meal offering, filled his palm with it, and caused it to [go up in] smoke on the altar, in addition to the morning burnt offering.

As I reflect on this – what is a meal? It’s digestion. It’s consumption. When we are served a meal, aren’t we curious about it? If we go to someone’s house for dinner, one of the first questions we have is “What are you making for dinner?” We are curious. We wonder.

Once we have dealt with our sin, once we have dealt with our guilt. Can we move to wonder? Can we look with wonder on our pain, our frustration, our confusion? Can we dig into this meal with wonder?

What are we to wonder?

For me? It’s how is this beautiful tapestry going to come together for me to grow into a butterfly? How will all of this help me discover my true purpose and identity? How is this my beauty?

Wonder. It’s about wonder.

18And he slaughtered the ox and the ram, the people’s peace offering, and Aaron’s sons presented the blood to him, and he dashed it on the altar, around,

19and [they also presented] the fats from the ox and from the ram: the tail, the [fatty] covering, the kidneys and the diaphragm with the liver.

20And they placed the fats on top of the breasts, and he caused the fats to [go up in] smoke on the altar.

Peace. Wonder brings peace. We must eat and digest our experiences into a place of peace within our souls. We must remove the fat – the experiences that distract and numb us from our pain, our frustration, and our confusion. And wonder about the other parts – the parts of pain, suffering, frustration, and confusion – and be curious. How Is this beautiful?

It’s not our fault. And. It is our responsibility to maintain wonder.  The Torah continues:

21And Aaron had [already] waved the breasts and the right thigh as a wave offering before the Lord, as Moses had commanded.

It’s almost as if Aaron – the high priest is waving his hands to say “Pay attention! Hey! I want you to look HERE! At wonder! You want peace? Stay in wonder!”

22And Aaron lifted up his hands towards the people and blessed them. He then descended from preparing the sin offering, the burnt offering, and the peace offering.

This is the blessing. Aaron’s blessing. The high priest’s blessing.

I’ve written before. In Genesis. To stay curious and not judge? That is the beginning of spiritual freedom and liberation.

It’s the sacrifice we need to make to release our sin, release our guilt, to release our peace.

Because.

We’ve tried to make peace with our pain.

To grow in freedom? We must sacrifice our peace. And wonder.

This is the final sacrifice. This is the blessing.

Sacrificing our peace.

Because it is a NEGATIVE peace.

Martin Luther King, Jr wrote in his “Letter from a Birmingham Jail” the following:

“I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.”

This is the diagnosis.

We are more devoted to “order” than to justice. We prefer a NEGATIVE peace which is the absence of tension.  We make peace with our pain. With our disappointment. With our confusion. We don’t WONDER.

We ignore the INJUSTICE within our own body, mind, and soul.

If we can’t navigate the injustice within? How can we ever navigate the injustice externally.

I am going to say something controversial.

So many of US. So. Many.

We spend SO MUCH ENERGY.

So. Much.

We spend this energy on pointing out ALL THE INJUSTICE IN THE WORLD AROUND US.

Ignoring the injustice within.

We can’t live in peace.

We can’t have world peace.

We can’t have peace in our families.

Until we navigate the injustice within us.

To live in WONDER over our pain, frustration, and confusion.

To see them as BEAUTIFUL opportunities for healing.

To be CURIOUS within ourselves.

Instead of being DISTRACTED by the injustice around us.

We need to do this work.

This is why I say all the time; “Heal ourselves, Heal the world.”

I’m going to say something controversial again. I’ve posted a few times this past week or two.

I get asked all the time, “How do I deal with a narcissist?”

My answer is ALWAYS the same.

Deal with the narcissist within.

Be curious about our inner narcissist.

It’s the only thing we can do.

Now, replace the word narcissist with whatever word you’d like;

How do I deal with injustice?

How do I deal with a lack of abundance?

How do I deal with poverty?

By dealing with these things within us.

We are about to go into Passover.

This year, when we listen to the Passover story? Let’s wonder about Pharoah’s perspective on the Passover story. WHY did he harden his heart? Can we see Pharaoh in his humanity and WONDER why he hardened his heart to the children of Israel?

Because if we are going to be free? We need to deal with the Pharaoh within us.

This is the blessing.

23And Moses and Aaron went into the Tent of Meeting. Then they came out and blessed the people, and the glory of the Lord appeared to all the people.

This is the glory of the Lord.

These are my thoughts. What are yours? I wonder.

I ask this question every time I write. These are JUST my thoughts. I wonder about yours.

Here are my thoughts from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 12 Nisan, 5783

Todays passage is an interesting one because it contains Aaron’s priestly blessing. Here is his one version of the text of the blessing:

“The Lord bless you and guard you. The Lord make His countenance shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn His countenance toward you and grant you peace.”

Something I’m reflecting on (which will be obvious for those following along):

Do we see this blessing as an external or internal blessing? What I mean by this is – when we say “the Lord bless you and guard you” is the image In our brains as a blessing that is coming from outside of our selves, and being directed into us? Is that the blessing? Is that the guarding?

Or do we see the Lord “In us?” At Yom Kippur, we are asked “who is sovereign in our lives? Who is sovereign in our hearts? Who is the ‘Lord’ within us?”

At Passover; as we recount the story of liberation; I’m curious as to whether this is the choice. To see Aaron’s blessing coming from WITHIN us. That we have this power in us, if we choose to make Hashem (or God, the universal energy – whatever you’d like to call it) Lord of our souls within us.

This blessing takes a different meaning on if we see it coming from within:

The Lord bless you and guard you. The Lord make His countenance shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn His countenance toward you and grant you peace.

This is a shining within our hearts, minds, and souls that goes OUTWARD. It’s not something we need to RECEIVE. It’s something we can GIVE. We have the power within us to be gracious to ourselves. To turn our countenance towards ourselves. And to grant ourselves peace.

I had to look up the word countenance. Here’s the definition:

There are two definitions:

1. A persons face or facial expression.
2. Support.

I think the idea is “being seen.” We often hope that Hashem “sees us.” But I wonder if Aaron was asking us to “see ourselves.” And. To treat ourselves “with support.”

How kind are we to ourselves? How compassionate are we to ourselves? Do we turn our countenance towards ourselves with all of the Godly energy and spirit we have within us? Or do we see ourselves as “empty vessels” looking for others to do this for us?

We need to reclaim and rehumanize ourselves. Then we will achieve true spiritual liberation. This is the exodus. To leave the external (Egypt) and cross the sea of our minds to the internal promised land (our hearts).

What do you think?

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 18 Adar II, 5782

Today we continue with the inauguration. Yesterday, Aaron and his sons brought their offerings.

Yesterday’s portion closed with the people’s offering. The sin offering and burnt offerings were taken care of.

Todays portion begins with the meal offering of the people. Then, they brought the people’s peace-offering: the ox and the ram. Then Aaron waved part of this offering as the wave offering before Hashem: as Moses commanded them.

Then; Aaron blessed the people (this is the priestly blessing otherwise known as the Aaronic benediction).

Rabbi Schneerson wrote this beautiful response to the blessing:

Yivarekhekha- “May God bless you…”

Ya’er – “May God make His face shine..” Yissa’-“May God lift His face.. (Rashi, 11′ century).

Even though God had already forgiven the Jewish people for the Golden Calf, nevertheless, when the Tabernacle had been fully constructed and inaugurated and the Divine Presence had still not entered, it appeared that God had not yet fully forgiven the Jewish people.

Therefore, while still standing on the altar, Aaron recited the Priestly Blessing, asking God to grant complete forgiveness to the Jewish people and that the Divine Presence should enter the Tabernacle.

Aaron said:

“May God bless you, etc.”-Since the people may be wondering how Aaron, who was responsible for making the Golden Calf, could achieve atonement for it, he stressed, “May God bless you,” i.e., that God Himself would give the blessing of atonement.

“May God make His face shine upon you, etc.” -that the Jewish people should be favorable in God’s eyes.

“May God lift His face to you, etc.” – In his commentary to this verse, Rashi explains: “He should calm his anger.” In this context Aaron was asking God to forgive the people for making the Golden Calf.

So this blessing was crucial toward a new start and a clean slate for the Jewish people with the tabernacle

Let’s close today with this. The spiritual vitamin from the Chumash I’m reading gives us interesting insights into the synagogue – a physical building:

“The function of the synagogue is to serve as a two-way link between created beings and the Creator, where man rises upward to Godliness through worship and prayer, and brings down God’s blessings materially and spiritually.”

May we all experience Hashem’s blessings this upcoming week – both materially and spiritually!

What are your thoughts?