Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 22 Tammuz, 5784
Parsha Mattot – Massei: (Numbers 30:2 – 36:13)
First Portion: Numbers 30:2  – 31:12

Good morning! It is a Sunday!  Today? We start the final week of the book of Numbers!  We have a double portion this week. And as we are in the middle of the “three weeks” of mourning until the 9^th of Av?  This double portion will hopefully assist us in our journey.

Mattot means tribe/branches. read my commentary from the past two years for more thoughts on this.

It is interesting. As I read my comments from the past two years of this portion? I can see a lot of mourning. My avocado tree that was flourishing a year ago? Died recently of root rot.  And? As you can see here? I have a NEW avocado tree just sprouting. A year ago? I could not get sunflowers to even grow past the seedling stage. Today? My sunflowers (I have two) are ready to bloom. You can see the Yellow peaking out.  So with death? Comes new life. If there are things you are holding onto? Imagine a year from now the new life that could be coming your way!

With this, let’s dig into this final week of the book of numbers!

2Moses spoke to the heads of the tribes of the children of Israel, saying: This is the thing the Lord has commanded.

3If a man makes a vow to the Lord or makes an oath to prohibit himself, he shall not violate his word; according to whatever came out of his mouth, he shall do.

We start this final week with vows. What we speak we must honor. Especially if we speak we are going to restrain ourselves. This is key. If I tell you I am NOT going to do something? And I do it? That’s an issue.

4If a woman makes a vow to the Lord, or imposes a prohibition [upon herself] while in her father’s house, in her youth,

5if her father heard her vow or her prohibition which she has prohibited upon herself, yet her father remains silent, all her vows shall stand, and any prohibition that she has imposed upon herself shall stand.

6But if her father hinders her on the day he hears it, all her vows and her prohibitions that she has imposed upon herself shall not stand. The Lord will forgive her because her father hindered her.

So – we can look at this passage in two ways. We can see it as a man having more value. A father overrides his daughter. Or? We can see it as protection. Why? Because masculine and feminine energy have different purposes, and our culture today may value one over the other. My belief is our masculine energy tells us the right action to take, and our feminine energy is about timing. This is within all of us. We may have the right actions, but we may do it in the wrong timing. This may be because we aren’t paying attention to our feminine energy. We aren’t listening.  Likewise, we may know it is the right time, but we may not know what to do or what decision to make. That may be in part because we don’t trust the masculine within us to take action in a way that is safe. Our own masculine energy has betrayed us.  Or the men in our lives have. Or both.

Regardless, there is a symbiosis – a balance to our energies.  Let’s keep going:

7But if she is [betrothed] to a man, with her vows upon her or by an utterance of her lips which she has imposed upon herself,

8and her husband hears it but remains silent on the day he hears it, her vows shall stand, and her prohibition which she has imposed upon herself shall stand.

9But if her husband hinders her on the day he heard it, he has revoked the vow she had taken upon herself and the utterance which she had imposed upon herself, and the Lord will forgive her.

10As for the vow of a widow or a divorced woman, whatever she prohibited upon herself will remain upon her.

11But if she vowed in her husband’s house, or imposed a prohibition upon herself with an oath.

12and her husband heard and remained silent, and did not hinder her, all her vows shall stand, and every prohibition she imposed upon herself shall stand.

13If her husband revokes them on the day he hears them, anything issuing from her lips regarding her vows or self imposed prohibitions shall not stand; her husband has revoked them and the Lord shall forgive her.

14Any vow or any binding oath of self affliction, her husband can either uphold it or revoke it.

15However, if her husband remained silent from day to day, he has upheld all the vows and prohibitions she has assumed; he has upheld them since he remained silent on the day he heard it.

16If he revokes them after having heard [them], he shall bear her iniquity.

17These are the statutes which the Lord commanded Moses concerning a man and his wife, a father and his daughter, in her youth, while in her father’s house.

A husband also plays a similar role with his wife.  We see this similar relationship play out within each of us. As we get more in touch with our masculine and feminine energies.

Here is my takeaway. The first line is about our tongue. What we speak. The rest of the passage above? What leads us to the DECISION to speak. The internal dialogue between our masculine and feminine energies. What do you think?

Let’s keep going:

31:1The Lord spoke to Moses saying,

2″Take revenge for the children of Israel against the Midianites; afterwards you will be gathered to your people.”

Moses has one last purpose to accomplish.  Revenge.

I am struggling with this.

And. I can see something here.

Midian is the land of Moses’ father in law. Midian is also the land from Balak and Balaam that tried to seduce the Israelites into idolatry and harlotry to take them away and get them cursed.

For Moses? This must have been a gut wrenching ask. And. He did it:

3So Moses spoke to the people, saying, “Arm from among you men for the army, that they can be against Midian, and carry out the revenge of the Lord against Midian.

4A thousand for each tribe, a thousand for each tribe, from all the tribes of Israel you shall send into the army.”

5From the thousands of Israel one thousand was given over for each tribe, twelve thousand armed for battle.

6Moses sent them the thousand from each tribe to the army, them along with Phinehas the son of Eleazar the kohen to the army, with the sacred utensils and the trumpets for sounding in his possession.

7They mounted an attack against Midian, as the Lord had commanded Moses, and they killed every male.

8And they killed the Midianite kings upon their slain: Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur, and Reba, the five kings of Midian, and Balaam the son of Beor they slew with the sword.

It is interesting – Balaak is not mentioned. Balaam is.

And again we have to be reminded – death is just a returning to the one soul. The collective soul. It was just the corpse of the human soul that remains.

And again we need to be reminded – live must be preserved at all costs. There is certainly a paradox here. And we have to trust that.

9The children of Israel took the Midianite women and their small children captive, and they plundered all their beasts, livestock, and all their possessions.

10They set fire to all their residential cities and their castles.

11They took all the booty and all the plunder of man and beast.

12They brought the captives, the plunder, and the booty to Moses and to Eleazar the kohen and to the entire community of Israel in the camp, in the plains of Moab by the Jordan at Jericho.

Now. Things are going to get dicey moving forward. Because we are going to see these non-children of Israel be treated in a certain way. It will be an interesting discussion for sure.

My takeaway though – within us? There are these dynamics. We see our masculine energies doing damage to our feminine. And we are asked to navigate these parts within us – because we all have midian in us – parts of us that drive us away from Hashem. How do we navigate that? We’ve seen examples of Midian being welcomed INTO Israel (early when leaving Exodus, Moses’ father in law was welcomed).  And we’ve seen examples of Midian pulling Israel AWAY.  I think this is the lesson for us.

How do we navigate the Midianites within us? Which parts can we incorporate that will bring us CLOSER to freedom and liberation and connection with Hashem? Which parts will take us away?

What are your thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 20 Tamuz, 5783

It is a new week, and we have a new portion! This week’s portion is “Mattot” which means both tribes and branches.  Many of you who have been following me know that I have been growing an avocado tree from the pit.  As I entered the current “segment” of my life in January of 2022, the avocado pit was something I felt called to plant.  It has been an interesting journey since then, and as I transition into a new “segment” of my life this week, the avocado tree has started to grow its’ first branch.

I love how life connects in such amazing ways.  Yesterday, I had the MOST amazing day.  It was a day of branches of my life connecting in a single moment  throughout the day.  We often times look at the leaves in front of us without realizing how connected they are to the leaves around us.

Let’s dig into Mattot.

I want to spend a moment to dig deeper into the concept of silence which seems to be a theme in today’s portion.  A year ago I wrote my commentary and it seemed to indicate how silence is problematic.  And although that is true, it does not paint the fullness of the power of silence.

Because although silence is giving tacit approval to behavior – when the behavior is someone being vulnerable, sharing things they don’t share normally, silence is a beautiful healing balm (or salve) on past trauma and wounds. Because the silence creates space for our humanity to connect with others’.

How we wield our silence – whether we wield our silence intentionally or not – these are things we should be reflecting on.

These moments – where we can choose silence, or we can choose to engage, or we can choose to challenge – these moments create branches in the timeline – choices – that spread out throughout the “multiverse” for lack of a better word.

In my amazing journey yesterday, I met a woman who was elderly – and a greek orthodox nun.  I asked if I could join her at her table in the coffee shop and she welcomed me.  It was such a rich conversation – and a lot of it centered around time.

You see – both of us lived near Modesto, California back in 2006.  When we discovered this, it was like meeting an old friend. We talked about how God (the Universe) exists outside of time.  That the past, present, and future are all tied into a single moment for the universe.  Time is a construct we have created as humanity – really as a way to measure change.

The beautiful human sitting with me shared how she moved to central New York “to die.” She had many health issues and was ready to go to heaven – and was waiting for that moment to arrive.

I shared – “but you aren’t dead – you still have purpose!”  And that led us to an even deeper understanding of time.

What I learned in that moment is that time is really infinite.  Regardless of “how long I have to live” this moment is here. And then the next moment will arrive. And the next.  Infinitely – until there are no more moments.  But at the point of our timeline where my body and consciousness cease to experience moments? Branches have already formed where my consciousness will live on.

Because this woman impacted me – so even after her body is no longer experiencing moments here on earth? Her consciousness lives within me – as a branch formed in Modesto, California back in 2006, flowering now in 2023 – 17 years later.

And I think THIS is the lesson of Mattot.  Our silence. Our creating space. Our words. Our consciousness.  They branch out into the universe in ways we do not know or understand.

What are your thoughts?

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 25 Tamuz, 5782

Good morning! As we begin a new week leading to the new moon on Thursday night, my hope is we continue our journey of seeing in the darkness of this particular month. Things don’t necessarily get much easier for us; and we will need to see with different eyes over the next two weeks leading to Tisha B’Av, which normally would start Friday night, August 5th, but because that is a Shabbat won’t happen until Saturday night, August 6th.

This weeks portion is “Mattot” which means both tribes/branches. A beautiful thought from the Chumash I am reading says this:

“Even now that your soul has descended to this world and is detached from overt revelation, like branches (“mattot”) cut from a tree, you can still worship God under all circumstances. In this way, your commitment will grow stronger, like a hardened branch.”

I think back to some of what we have been studying. I connect this with Aaron’s staff – which was an almond branch – that was here, and cut off; and still bloomed flowers.

I think back to our Haftarah portion yesterday where Jeremiah saw an almond tree.

I believe we are called to harden and be refined on this earth AND still produce fruit. That may be the key to seeing in the dark.

In addition, I read a “spiritual vitamin” that seems to be critical here:

“Your Judaism is actually intact deep inside of you, and it is entirely up to you to make it an integral and active ingredient of your daily life. You don’t have to look for it elsewhere; all you have to do is brush off those external layers that, for one reason or another, have covered your inner essence.”

Whether we recognize it or not, our souls are connected to Hashem. Our Neshama is our identity and who we really our. Our brains, our bodies; they are temporary. Our soul is what transcends time.

Interesting!

Todays portion is all about making vows.

When a person makes a vow to God or makes an oath to prohibit themselves, they may not violate their word and must act in accordance with whatever he uttered.

The Torah then goes on to address circumstances of the vow:

When a child makes a vow (while under the jurisdiction of her father’s house) if her father heard the vow and he remained silent their vows/oaths stand. If he hears it and vetoes it on the day he hears it, those vows/oaths do not stand.

When it comes to marriage, any vow made by a child – if the betrothed hears about it, and remains silent, the vow/oath stands. Otherwise, the betrothed can annul and revoke the vow.

Next, the vows of a widow or divorcee are addressed:

Anything a widow/divorcee forbids herself will stand because she is not under the jurisdiction of her husband or father.

If a married woman made a vow or banned something from within the husband’s house, then the husband has the veto options above (listed for the father and child).

I’d argue that the reverse is also true; if a husband made a vow and the wife hears it….

But here is something interesting- if the husband hears about it, and remained silent until the day after in the evening, he has ratified the vows. The Torah clearly says we ratify it because we remain silent.

This brings me back to something I learned at Sonoma State; “silence is giving tacit approval for others’ behaviors.” I believe this was from a book called “Other Esteem” that a colleague recommended.

It would seem that today’s overall theme is about silence. Regardless of how we might feel about the patriarchal language of the Torah. And the power dynamics we read, which in our current culture seem antiquated, we can take away this notion of silence and the roll it plays.

What are your thoughts?