Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 17 Elul, 5784
Parsha Ki Tavo’– “When you enter”: (Deuteronomy 26:1 – 29:8)
Sixth Portion: Deuteronomy 28:7 – 28:69

Good morning! I’ve had a lot of thoughts and emotions and paradigm shifts this past week. More on that in the weeks ahead as we enter a new year!

The energies are shifting tonight into a place of digging into our seriousness – and learning to find delight.

What do we delight in?

Does our delight come with guilt?

Why or why not?

If we are healing – does that HAVE to ALWAYS be so serious? Or do we allow ourselves moments of delight in the healing process?

I think I have come to transitioning (transmuting?) the belief that if I am feeling delight, I must not be healing. The ONLY path to healing is seriousness. This has been a limiting belief for me.

What if? If I am feeling delight – that is a SIGN of my healing? That I have taken the seriousness of the trauma and the past and transformed it into delight in the present moment? What if the delight IS the sign of the healing. Guilt is the limiting belief that KEEPS us from healing?

Some thoughts as we get ready to cross the Jordan into the promised land. Let’s see what Moses has to say (warning LONG portion ahead):

7The Lord will cause your enemies who rise up against you, to be beaten before you; they will come out against you in one direction, but they will flee from you in seven directions.

8The Lord will order the blessing to be with you in your granaries, and in every one of your endeavors, and He will bless you in the land which the Lord, your God, is giving you.

9The Lord will establish you as His holy people as He swore to you, if you observe the commandments of the Lord, your God, and walk in His ways.

That last statement – “if you observe” feels challenging to this idea of delight vs guilt, doesn’t it?

I looked at the definition of delight. There are three:

1. To notice or perceive (something) and register it as being significant.
   1. To watch (someone or something) carefully and attentively.
   2. To take note of or detect (something) in the course of a scientific study.
2. To make a remark.
3. To fulfill or comply with (a social, legal, ethical, or religious obligation).

Looking at definitions 1 and 3? Makes a difference in how verse 9 is read, doesn’t it?

9The Lord will establish you as His holy people as He swore to you, if you (notice and perceive the significance of) the commandments of the Lord, your God, and walk in His ways.

9The Lord will establish you as His holy people as He swore to you, if you (fulfill or comply with) the commandments of the Lord, your God, and walk in His ways.

Those READ very differently.

Guilt. The second run is guilt. If we do X, then we will receive Y.

What if? We are called to this journey to perceive the significance of the commandments of the Lord – and walk in His ways – meaning we live our lives AS IF the Torah is important? What if that is freedom?

10Then all the peoples of the earth will see that the name of the Lord is called upon you, and they will fear you.

11And the Lord will grant you good surplus in the fruit of your womb, in the fruit of your livestock, and in the fruit of your soil, on the land which the Lord swore to your forefathers, to give you.

12The Lord will open up for you His good treasury, the heaven, to give your land its rain in its [right] time, and to bless everything you do. And you will lend many nations, but you will not [need to] borrow.

13And the Lord will set you at the head, and not at the tail, and you will be only at the top, and you will not be at the bottom, if you obey the commandments of the Lord, your God, which I am commanding you this day, to observe to fulfill [them].

That seems to fly, right?

14And you shall not turn right or left from all of the words I am commanding you this day, to follow other deities to worship them.

This also gets back to some conflict within, doesn’t it? But the “shall not turn right or left” part is connected to not following other deities to worship them.

It really comes down to who (or what) we worship doesn’t it?

Do we worship our own ego?

Do we worship fame? Fortune?

What is it we hold in the highest place in our hearts? Who is the king of our hearts? Who sits in the throne within us? These are the questions that bring freedom.

15And it will be, if you do not obey the Lord, your God, to observe to fulfill all His commandments and statutes which I am commanding you this day, that all these curses will come upon you and overtake you.

I need to dig further in. The word “fulfill” – is that in the literal translation, or was that added to develop a means in which to create guilt of the people to control the masses later? I don’t know for sure. It is just a question.  We have to always remember – the Torah we read (the Bible we read) is a TRANSLATION – and can get jammed up in translation.

16You shall be cursed in the city, and you shall be cursed in the field.

17Cursed will be your [food] basket and your kneading bowl.

18Cursed will be the fruit of your womb, the fruit of your soil, the fruit of your livestock, those born from your cattle and the flock of your sheep.

19You shall be cursed when you come, and you shall be cursed when you depart.

20The Lord will send the curse of shortages, confusion, and turmoil upon you, in every one of your endeavors which you undertake, until it destroys you and until you quickly vanish, because of your evil deeds in forsaking Me.

21The Lord will make pestilence cleave to you, until it has exterminated you from upon the land, to which you are coming, to possess it.

22The Lord will strike you with consumption, fever, illnesses with burning fevers, a disease which causes unquenchable thirst, with the sword, with blast, and with yellowing, and they will pursue you until you perish.

23And your skies above you will be [like] copper, and the earth below you [like] iron.

24The Lord will turn the rain of your land into powder and dust, raining down upon you from the heavens until you are destroyed.

25The Lord will cause you to be broken before your enemy: you will come out against them in one direction, but you will flee from them in seven directions. And you will become a terrifying [example] to all the kingdoms on earth.

26Your corpse will be food for all birds of the heaven and for the beasts of the earth, and no one will frighten them [away].

27The Lord will strike you with the boils of Egypt, with hemorrhoids, with oozing sores, and with dry lesions, from which you will be unable to be cured.

Yes hemorrhoids were a thing in the Torah.

28The Lord will strike you with insanity, with blindness, and with bewilderment.

29You will grope at midday, as the blind man gropes in the dark, and you will be unsuccessful in your ways. You will be only oppressed and robbed all the days, and no one will save [you].

30You will betroth a woman, but another man will lie with her. You will build a house, but you will not live in it. You will plant a vineyard, but you will not redeem it[s fruits].

31Your ox will be slaughtered before your eyes, but you will not eat from it. Your donkey will be snatched right in front of you, and it will not return to you. Your flock will be given over to your enemies, and you will have no savior.

32Your sons and daughters will be given over to another people, and your eyes will see [this] and long for them all day long, but you will be powerless.

33A people unknown to you will eat up the fruit of your soil and [the result of] all your toil. You will be only wronged and crushed all the days.

34You will go insane from the vision before your eyes that you will behold.

35The Lord will strike you on the knees and on the legs with a terrible skin eruption from which you will be unable to be cured; [it will eventually cover you] from the sole of your foot to the top of your head.

So as I am reading this – I am reflecting on those moments I have had skin eruptions – that have not been cured. And? They eventually were cured. Because we may NOT have understood in the moment – but later on? We really did understand and that brought healing.

One takeaway for me? This isn’t a “you are DOOMED” passage – the curses are LITERALLY reminders to OBSERVE and see why they might be coming our way. To decide where we need to return to the path of delighting in Torah.

36The Lord will lead you and your king whom you will have established over you, to a nation unknown to you or your fathers; and there, you will serve other deities [made] of wood and stone.

*Cough* that sounds like America – doesn’t it? Just sayin.

37And you will become an [object of] astonishment, an example, and a topic of discussion, among all the peoples to whom the Lord will lead you.

38You will take much seed out to the field, yet you will gather in little, for the locusts will finish it.

In our American consumer society, this seems to fit. Just sayin.

39You will plant vineyards and work [them], but you will neither drink of [their] wine, or gather [the grapes], because the worms will devour them.

40You will have olive trees throughout all your boundaries, but you will not anoint with [their] oil, because your olive trees will drop off.

41You will bear sons and daughters, but you will not have them, because they will go into captivity.

42All your trees and all the fruit of your soil the cicada will make destitute.

43The stranger who is among you will arise above you, higher and higher, while you will descend lower and lower.

44He will lend to you, but you will not lend to him. He will be at the head, while you will be at the tail.

45All these curses will befall you, pursuing you and overtaking you to destroy you because you did not obey the Lord, your God, to observe His commandments and statutes which He commanded you.

These are designed to be signs for us on our journey. What do we see? What do we observe. And? The next line CONFIRMS THIS:

46And they will be as a sign and a wonder, upon you and your offspring, forever,

These are meant for us to be signs. Not punishments. Reminders to delight. To receive all as good.  Why?

47because you did not serve the Lord, your God, with happiness and with gladness of heart, when [you had an] abundance of everything.

Serving the greater good. This is what the Universe desires for us. To be good. To do good. To let go of our ego and be love.

48Therefore, you will serve your enemies, whom the Lord will send against you, [when you are] in famine, thirst, destitution, and lacking everything, and he will place an iron yoke upon your neck, until he has destroyed you.

49The Lord will bring upon you a nation from afar, from the end of the earth, as the eagle swoops down, a nation whose language you will not understand,

50a brazen nation, which will not respect the elderly, nor show favor to the young.

51They will devour the fruit of your livestock and the fruit of your soil, to destroy you. They will not leave over anything for you of the grain, wine, oil, offspring of your cattle or flocks of your sheep, until they annihilate you.

52And they will besiege you in all your cities, until your high and fortified walls in which you trust come down, throughout all your land. And they will besiege you in all your cities throughout all your land, which the Lord, your God, has given you.

53And during the siege and the desperation which your enemies will bring upon you, you will eat the fruit of your womb, the flesh of your sons and daughters, whom the Lord, your God, gave you.

Ick. Just ick.

54The most tender and delicate man among you, will begrudge his own brother and the wife of his embrace and the rest of his children, whom he will leave over,

55of giving any one of them of the flesh of his children that he is eating, because not a thing will remain for him in the siege and in the desperation which your enemies will bring upon you, in all your cities.

56The most tender and delicate woman among you, who would not venture to set her foot upon the ground, because of delicateness and tenderness, will begrudge the husband of her embrace and her own son and daughter,

57and the infants who emerge from between her legs, and her own children whom she will bear, for she will eat them in secret, in destitution, in the siege and the desperation which your enemies will inflict upon you, in your cities.

More ick.

58If you do not observe to fulfill all the words of this Torah, which are written in this scroll, to fear this glorious and awesome name, the Lord, your God,

59Then the Lord [will bring upon] you and your offspring uniquely [horrible] plagues, terrible and unyielding plagues, and evil and unyielding sicknesses.

60And He will bring back upon you all the diseases of Egypt which you dreaded, and they will cling to you.

61Also, the Lord will bring upon you every disease and plague which is not written in this Torah scroll, to destroy you.

62And you will remain few in number, whereas you were once as numerous as the stars of the heavens because you did not obey the Lord, your God.

63And it will be, just as the Lord rejoiced over you to do good for you and to increase you, so will the Lord cause to rejoice over you to annihilate you and to destroy you. And you will be uprooted from the land which you enter therein, to possess it.

64And the Lord will scatter you among all the nations, from one end of the earth to the other, and there you will serve other deities unknown to you or your forefathers, [deities of] wood and stone.

65And among those nations, you will not be calm, nor will your foot find rest. There, the Lord will give you a trembling heart, dashed hopes, and a depressed soul.

66And your life will hang in suspense before you. You will be in fear night and day, and you will not believe in your life.

Sound like Anxiety anyone? This was my life for almost 50 years. I lived in fear. I did not believe in my life.

Since reading the Torah daily? That has transformed for me.

67In the morning, you will say, “If only it were evening! ” and in the evening, you will say, “If only it were morning!” because of the fear in your heart which you will experience and because of the sights that you will behold.

This. This is big. Anxiety takes us OUT of a moment. We get caught up into the future.  We are not satisfied where we are.

68And the Lord will bring you back to Egypt in ships, through the way about which I had said to you, You will never see it again. And there, you will seek to be sold to your enemies for slaves and handmaids, but there will be no buyer.

69These are the words of the covenant, which the Lord commanded Moses to make with the children of Israel in the land of Moab, besides the covenant which he made with them in Horeb.

Whew. This is a lot. It’s a good self-assessment TBH.

I’d love to know your thoughts.

Here are my thoughts from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 15 Elul, 5783

Good morning! The moon has been GORGEOUS the past two nights, hasn’t it?  Today is more of a long passage – as we continue the blessings and the curses.  And here is what I think the theme is:

If we connect with Hashem (the universe, our soul, etc) we will have blessing.

If we distract, avoid, numb our soul (the universe, Hashem, etc) we will be cursed.

Again – this isn’t a threat.  It’s the natural consequences of not loving ourselves.  If we do not tap into the goodness of the universe around us? It’s wanting the best for us- so if we want and desire something that isn’t good for us – the universe is going to work to thwart our efforts.  It will appear as cursing – but it is a result of our free will.

Let me say that again.  It is a result of our free will.

Because I think we have the concept of “free will” all wrong.  We look at free will as the freedom to do whatever we want in whatever moment comes our way.  What if – the issue around our understanding of what “will” is?

What if “free will” is that we are FREE to be willing to allow the universe to unfold in a way that is designed for our good? Or to RESIST the universe?  That is the freedom we have?

As an example – we are driving, and we are running late. And a car cuts us off in traffic.  In that moment – we are FREE. We can CHOOSE how we respond.

• Oh well – I am not in control of anything right now, but I am free to trust things are unfolding exactly how they are for my good – and the good of those around us.  I am willing to receive whatever happens here.
• Crap – why is the universe working against me? I am going to be late! That guy deserves the WORST for cutting me off.  Why is the universe trying to thwart me.  I am UNWILLING to receive what happens here.

That’s free will.  And yes, we are free to choose – how do i react or respond to the situation?

Because sometimes – sadness exists to launch us into happiness.  Difficulties happen almost like a slingshot into joy and ease.  We just have to be willing to trust.

This is what spiritual freedom and liberation looks like (I think).  Willingness or resistance.  That is free will.

What are your thoughts?

Here’s my commentary from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 20 Elul, 5782

Good morning! Today’s portion is longer, so let’s jump right in!

Moses is continuing with the blessings:

• If we observe the mitzvahs – Hashem will cause our enemies who rise up against us to be beaten before us; they will come out against us in one direction and flee from us in a panic in seven different directions.
• Hashem will direct His blessing to be with us – in everything we do.
• Hashem will establish us as His holy people. Nations will be in awe as they see what Hashem does for us.
• Hashem will grant us a good surplus of fruit in our womb, our livestock, our soul. He will open up His treasury- and will bless everything we put our hands to.
• We will be at the head, and not the tail. We will be at the top, and not the bottom.
• All of this is if we do good and listen to Hashem.

Now. What if we don’t? If we don’t listen to Hashem? The curses will come upon us:

• We will be cursed everywhere we go. We will be cursed when we arrive and when we depart.
• We will have shortages, confusion, turmoil in everything we do. We will be destroyed and vanish.
• We will be stricken with inflammation, illness, fevers, thirst, the sword of invading armies, withering of crops, we will be destroyed.
• In the opposite of the blessing, we will come out in one direction against our enemies and leave them in a panic is seven directions. We will be a dread to the nations of the earth.
• Our corpses will be bird food.
• We will be stricken with boils, with hemorrhoids (yes – HEMORRHOIDS is in the Torah), with oozing sores, with dry lesions.
• We will be stricken with insanity, with blindness and with bewilderment.
• We will be unsuccessful. We will be robbed all the time, no one will save us.
• We will betroth a woman, but another man will lie with her. We will build a house but not live in it.
• Our children will be given over to another people.
• We will be powerless.
• The foreigner will lend to us, but we will not lend to him. They will rise higher and higher while we descend lower and lower.
• All of this is happening because we did not listen to Hashem. Instead of serving Hashem, we will serve our enemies.

Let’s stop here.

There is a lot here. A lot of pressure. And as someone who has lived 50 years of life, I can tell you my life has been both/and- not either/or. This is because there have been times in my life I have not listened to Hashem. And there are times I have.

These aren’t “threats” I believe; I think they are more “natural consequences” of our behaviors and lives.

The Chumash has this encouragement for us:

“Any sad interlude in Jewish life is only transitory, and is based on the principle of “descent for the purpose of ascent.” In other words, any and all sad events in our history which are commemorated on the few sad days on our calendar are backwards steps which are necessary for a greater forward leap.”

So even when we are experiencing the consequences of not listening to Hashem, it’s for the purpose to bring us back to a place to listen and be blessed. I think that’s the message here.

True liberation and freedom is connected to listening – are we paying attention to our (good) desires and compassion? Or are we motivated because of our trauma and wounds, and trying to avoid being hurt? Given those two choices, trusting Hashem and doing good will bring us blessing. The more we act out of our trauma, the more the curses (which seem to be more trauma) will come.

Healing brings health and blessing

Trauma brings more trauma.

That seems to fit with what I see.

Google “trauma bonding” as evidence of this. When we bond over trauma, things don’t go well.

When we heal, (as Mark Nepo writes in the book of awakening) “As the moon brings sun to those who have turned from the light, an opened heart brings love to those struggling through darkness.”

Our open hearts in the midst of trauma will bring healing not only to ourselves but others around us.

We must explore this idea of trauma in our journey to freedom and liberation. How we navigate our traumas will impact the level of freedom we experience. Keep this in mind, friends!

What are your thoughts?