Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 28 Tishri, 5785

Today in Noah, we learn how Hashem asked Noah to step off the ark that was Noah’s safe space. Noah did not WANT to get out of the ark because it was a source of survival from a significant trauma.  How often do we navigate trauma and cope with it in ways we don’t want to let go of? We wear them like badges of courage. That is what keeps us whole.

I wrote this three years ago – and I think it is really salient:

On one hand, the ark was a lifeboat.  On the other? Would it not feel like a prison? To go into the ark, before the rains come, and stay with all these animals, to keep everyone safe? It would have been constricting. It would have been noisy.  You couldn’t escape.  Before the rains of abundance flowed, it may have even been bitter. 

Where does our sense of safety and emotional regulation come from? Is it because we have managed to squeeze ourselves into this ark with all of this chaos and have managed to find order within the chaos, so that feels safe? Have we forgotten WHY we are on the ark to begin with, and have we looked outside to see if it is safe to step out?

The energy around us is swirling and shifting. We are headed into a new moon on Friday night.  It is time to set our intentions for the moon cycle (month) ahead. Cheshvan is all about living out all of the learning from the transition of the holy days in Tishri.

Tonight, the energy flow is shifting as well. We shift from the shadow of purposelessness, finding a new direction – getting clarity on where we are heading – and tonight? The shadow around us is Interference. Things are going to get in the way.

Let me say that again. Over the next week, things are going to be getting in the way of our goals, our mission, or purpose.

The purpose of this energy is not to try and control. It’s to bring us the gift of teamwork. AND? For us people pleasers out there? We may be called to “interfere” by standing up for our selves and advocating.

Remember the gift here is teamwork. We are working towards this beautiful gift. We think we can “do it on our own.” And? We need others. The prize for this work? I mentioned it yesterday – Synarchy.

What is synarchy? Think about an orchestra. Its about flow, integration, harmony. It INVOLVES being in a community. Connected.

When our belief is “it’s just easier if I do it myself” – that is going to face a LOT of disruption over the next week. And? It is going to cause a LOT of chaos. The goal isn’t isolation. The goal is a symphony.

There is a leadership shift towards synarchy as well. Old hierarchical models are antiquated. Everyone has roles to play – and when we can’t agree on these roles? Chaos.

This is the energy we are flowing into.

So what to do?

When your life is interrupted? Smile. The conductor is bringing all the instruments together and wants us to find ways to work as a team. Then that teamwork will produce something BEAUTIFUL. As we see on the ark.

Imagine the synarchy that existed on that ark during the flood. When the threat of death is around you? I think people are more likely to work as a team. It’s when people feel “safe” they struggle.

These are my thoughts. What about you?

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 3 Cheshvan, 5784
Parsha Noah: (Genesis 6:9- 11:32) 
Fourth Portion: Genesis 8:15- 9:7

Today’s portion starts with:

15And God spoke to Noah saying:

16″Go out of the ark, you and your wife, and your sons, and your sons’ wives with you.

I’ve written about this idea the past two years. Leave your safe space. This is the path to freedom.  We must risk if we are to be free.  Our safety – the ark – becomes a prison. 

It’s interesting how a few days ago, I wrote this (about the second portion – Genesis 7:1)

On one hand, the ark was a lifeboat.  On the other? Would it not feel like a prison? To go into the ark, before the rains come, and stay with all these animals, to keep everyone safe? It would have been constricting. It would have been noisy.  You couldn’t escape.  Before the rains of abundance flowed, it may have even been bitter. 

So on one hand, Noah saw the Ark as freeing. A path to free himself of the world around us.  And yet, it became a prison in the end, to where Hashem had to tell him to leave.

What worked for Noah’s survival? Became his prison until Hashem told him to leave.

How many of us experience this?  We build a lifeboat in order to survive. The trauma passes. We are safe.  And yet we stay in our Ark even though we don’t need to. 

Yesterday, I read a passage from Mark Nepo’s “The Book of Awakening” and it was along this theme:

“The emotional patterns of our lives are very strong.  They often come into being because we’ve needed them to survive. But sooner or later, we arrive at moments where the very thing that has saved us is killing us, keeping us from truly living.

Being invisible once kept us from being hurt, but now we are vanishing.

Or Listening once kept us in relation, but now we are drowning in our unheard cries.

Or avoiding conflict once kept us out of the line of fire, but now we are thirsting for contact that is real.

Early in my life, I learned to protect myself, and this meant I became very good at catching things. In fact, I never went anywhere without my catcher’s mitt.  No matter what came at me, nothing could surprise me.  And while this saved me from the unpredictable assaults of my family, and even helped me in my odyssey through cancer, it eventually had a life of its own.

Everything – birds, women, friends, truth – was intercepted by the quick reflex of my mitt.  Eventually, nothing got through, and the very thing that helped me survive was now keeping me from being touched.

The softness and wonder of the world was vanishing from my life.”

He goes on to conclude this:

“It seems our ability to be authentic and free can’t touch us until we breathe our way below the twitch of our patterning.  Often, this requires outlasting the anxiety of needing to catch or fix what comes our way, so we can truly respond from the center of our being.

There is, after all, a difference between helping someone because if you don’t you will lose their love or some sense of your own image as a caring person, and helping someone because your impulse of heart moves you to their aid.

And finally, this is the big takeaway:

We are, each of us, in a repeatable war between defending ourselves from hurts that happened long ago and opening in innocence, again and again, to the unexpected touch of life.”

For me. This is significant. I lived on an ark for 40 years myself.  From the age of 9 to the age of 49, I’ve been just surviving.  I was in a repeatable war. Living out patterns of life. Until Hashem called me to leave my ark.

The Torah study these past few years has helped me become much more free.  Those of you who know me best these past two years can attest to this fact!

It is the difference between Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Post Traumatic Growth.  Hashem is asking Noah to leave the safety of the Ark.  Noah knew it was safe; and he still didn’t want to leave.

And Noah left. He waited until Hashem called him.  And he left.  And what did he do? He built an altar to Hashem!

And Hashem made a promise (Genesis 8:21-22):

21And the Lord smelled the pleasant aroma, and the Lord said to Himself, “I will no longer curse the earth because of man, for the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth, and I will no longer smite all living things as I have done.

22So long as the earth exists, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.”

This is freedom. And then, Hashem gave Noah a new command:

Be fruitful and multiply.

Take this freedom – and multiply it.  That is our purpose. That is the blessing.

What are your thoughts?