Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 29 Tishri, 5785

Today’s passage is all about the rainbow. And what I love the rainbow? It’s connected to the kids. The rainbow’s timing is beautiful here. So many opportunities for Hashem to give the rainbow to us and Noah. And he gave it to us – after he told us to be fruitful and multiply.  Not before he told Noah to build the ark. Not before the floods came. The rainbow is not a sign of SURVIVAL.  It’s not meant to communicate “you’ll survive this.”

It’s meant to communicate – you are safe to truly LIVE! To be fruitful and multiply!  Its safe to bring children into this dangerous world.

The future. Our children. Are safe. 

And? That likely creates a lot of dissonance for us. That is likely the crux of faith. The belief that our children are safe and the rainbow is a sign of that – or it’s just some fictional fantasy.

And? We have to recognize – “bad” things seem to happen to children (and adults).

The question then becomes – what is our “bad” and “good” rubric?

There is a beautiful story (you can find it here) about this idea of judgment:

Long ago, there was a widowed Chinese farmer. The farmer and his only son labored through the cold winds of winter and scorching rays of summer with their last remaining horse. One day, the son didn’t lock the gate of the stable properly, and the horse bolted away. 

When neighbors learned what happened, they came to the farmer and said, “What a sadness this is! Without your horse, you’ll be unable to maintain the farm. What a failure that your son did not lock the gate properly! This is a great tragedy!”

The farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”

The next day, the missing horse returned to the farmer’s stable, bringing along with it six wild horses. The farmer’s son locked the gate of the stable firmly behind all seven horses.

When neighbors learned what happened, they came to the farmer and said, “What happiness this brings! With seven horses, you’ll be able to maintain the farm with three of them and sell the rest for huge profits. What a blessing!”

The farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”

The next day the farmer’s son was breaking in one of the wild horses. The son got thrown from the horse, fell hard on rocks, and broke his leg. 

When neighbors learned what happened, they came to the farmer and said, “What a great sadness this is! Now, you’ll be unable to count on your son’s help. What a failure to break in the horse properly! What a tragedy!”

The farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”

The next day, a general from the Imperial Chinese Army arrived to conscript all the young men of the village into the army. Their assignment was to fight on the front lines of a battle against a terrifying enemy of overwhelming force. The farmer’s son, because of his broken leg, was not taken. 

When neighbors learned what happened, they came to the farmer and said, “What a great joy! Your son avoided facing certain death on the front lines of the battle. What a blessing!”

The farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.” 

This story really shows us how we can get tossed around like waves in the ocean by how we “judge” a moment. We connect to this moment outcomes we are really unsure of.

Instead of judging, we can trust – like this farmer – and hold space for “maybe yes, maybe no.”

Thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 4 Cheshvan, 5784
Parsha Noah: (Genesis 6:9- 11:32) 
Fifth Portion: Genesis 9:8-17

Today we are going to read about the rainbow.  I have written many different thoughts over the past two years, but I want to pull out the passage in the Torah and look at it.  Here is the entire Portion (Genesis 9:8-17):

8And God said to Noah and to his sons with him, saying:

9″And I, behold I am setting up My covenant with you and with your seed after you.

10And with every living creature that is with you, among the fowl, among the cattle, and among all the beasts of the earth with you, of all those who came out of the ark, of all the living creatures of the earth.

11And I will establish My covenant with you, and never again will all flesh be cut off by the flood waters, and there will never again be a flood to destroy the earth.”

12And God said: “This is the sign of the covenant, which I am placing between Me and between you, and between every living soul that is with you, for everlasting generations.

13My rainbow I have placed in the cloud, and it shall be for a sign of a covenant between Myself and the earth.

14And it shall come to pass, when I cause clouds to come upon the earth, that the rainbow will appear in the cloud.

15And I will remember My covenant, which is between Me and between you and between every living creature among all flesh, and the water will no longer become a flood to destroy all flesh.

16And the rainbow shall be in the cloud, and I will see it, to remember the everlasting covenant between God and between every living creature among all flesh, which is on the earth.”

17And God said to Noah: “This is the sign of the covenant that I have set up, between Myself and between all flesh that is on the earth.”

A few things.  I’ve written about this in the past about the answer to a question we’ve never really reflected on. 

Why?

Why did Hashem give Noah (and us) the rainbow.  I mean we know WHY because Hashem explains the PURPOSE of the rainbow.  But if we were to time travel to that moment? What INSPIRED Hashem to provide the rainbow IN THAT MOMENT?

I mean think about it.  Noah and his family.  Noah trusted Hashem.  Every step of the way.  He saw the wickedness around him.  He still trusted God. God tells him to build an ark; a lifeboat – and Noah does. God tells Noah to get his family on the ark; and Noah goes. Noah survives the flood.  And Noah waits for Hashem to tell him to leave the ark.

So many opportunities for Hashem to give Noah a rainbow. Like – “Hey Noah, I know it’s REALLY weird I am asking you to build an ark right now – so here’s a rainbow to let you know you can trust me.” Or “Hey – I know it’s strange I am telling you to get your family and these animals that just showed up on to the ark right now, so here’s a rainbow to let you know you can trust me.”

But no. Noah trusted God. He didn’t need the rainbow to build the ark. So why? After Noah left the ark, and was given the direction to be “fruitful and multiply” did Hashem THEN provide the rainbow?

Because kids.

Kids.

Noah trusted God when it came to him and the adult members of his family.  His sons had wives. They were older. They were in dire straits looking at the world around them.  But NOW? Hashem was asking Noah to bring MORE life into the world. Hashem was asking Noah to co-create with his wife NEW children.

Until this point, Noah was co-creating with Hashem.  The ark, the animals; it was all Noah and Hashem.  Now, Hashem was asking Noah to co-create with his wife.  And this is where Rashi writes that Noah was scared to have kids.

Noah was likely scared to bring kids into this new world. Not because Noah didn’t trust God. But Noah was scared his kids would turn out wicked and God would kill them again.  He didn’t want kids because he didn’t know what the end result would be.

As a parent of six kids, it is one of the scariest things to experience.  I have shared that when our first child was born, we learned “the first joy of parenting” which is fear.  The moment you find out you are pregnant? You experience a wide range of fears you never knew existed.

Back in the “good ole days” when we found out we were pregnant, we read this book called “What to Expect when expecting.”  I liked to label it “Five million things to be afraid of but never realized you needed to be afraid of!”

Kids are scary. And honestly? If I am honest with myself? It’s because as a father, I am afraid I am going to screw it up. And my kids will require a flood to wipe them out. And it will be my fault.

The rainbow wasn’t just a sign for all of us that Hashem would no longer wipe us off the face of the earth. It is a sign for parents EVERYWHERE – we are safe. We do NOT have to parent out of fear or anxiety. We don’t have to be afraid to co-create with someone a new project or new adventure.  We can trust it’s all going to work out exactly as it should.

THIS is the story of the rainbow.

So a few applications for us to move forward:

• As a parent; where is anxiety and fear driving us with our children? What decisions are we making out of fear instead of love? Where are we not trust our children to become the adults they need to be?
• As a creator; where are we scared to co-create with someone ELSE because we aren’t sure the end result? Might it turn out not the way we desire? Or might it turn out even BETTER? How can we trust and move forward to co-create and do a crazy new project; write that book with someone; take a risk and start a new business with someone?  Start a new friendship or relationship with someone?
• Where are we feeling unsafe in our life? Where do we need to remember the rainbow. That we are safe. Hashem doesn’t have arrows pointed at us waiting to destroy us the moment we make a mistake. Hashem sees these mistakes as arrows upward – Hashem will bear the consequences of our mistakes – and take it like a champ.
• As a parent, our kids will make mistakes – and we will feel every arrow. We can choose to take the arrows and return them with love, kindness, and compassion for our children – or get angry and afraid and send the arrows and daggers back to them. We are safe.  The arrows may hurt – but they are not a danger to us.  We can emotionally regulate and just be. So our kids feel safe making the mistakes they need to in order to grow.

What are your thoughts?