Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 3 Cheshvan, 5785

Good morning! We are starting another work week. Today we are working our way through the disruption caused my Abram asking Sarai to lie to the king.

Abram, Sarai and Hashem are working together here – it would seem -as a team. This isn’t a “pied piper” situation – Hashem did not tell Abram what to do. Abram did not TELL Sarai what to do. He requested. And we don’t know whether Sarai honored his request. We do see the parts of the puzzle coming together like an Orchestra. Hashem as the conductor, and the people involved (From Abram and Sarai to the Egyptians and Pharaoh) all playing their roles – and their freedom to perfection.

No one in this recounting seems like they were acting AGAINST their free will. They all worked together.

The lesson here? Preserving LIFE is a high priority in this synarchy we find ourselves in. We often want to see Hashem as the CEO of the world. He tells us what to do, and we blindly follow.

It would seem the Torah is telling us – Hashem is more the conductor – setting up the timing, knowing how the musical number is “supposed” to sound. Yet each of us gets to choose how to play the instrument we are given. We can follow the conductor, or (like Lisa Simpson in band) we can play our own song completely separated from the collective.

And? In a really fascinating turn? What if? Playing our own song IS what the conductor is asking us to do. That if all of us played our instrument EXACTLY how we desire and feel, it would create a beautiful symphony and change the world.

Things are shifting.

I have shared before – my belief was that my heart was “broken” and needed healing.

I transitioned in 5784 from believing I had a broken heart to having a “healing” heart.

I wrote about how my healing heart heals others.

I am now shifting again. I no longer believe my heart is healing (and it is) – it is loving.

My loving heart loves others.

My heart is not broken

My heart is not healing.

My heart is loving.

If I rationalize my heart, if I analyze it? The identity of my heart gets jammed up. And so many moments? That is EXACTLY what happens.

And? My heart’s “natural” state is love. The chaos around me causes entropy to always bring me back to this truth (If I allow it to). My heart is love. Our hearts are love.

Because although I have a fleshly heart pumping blood through my body? The one heart of our souls is pumping life through our collective consciousness.

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?

Here was my thoughts from last year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 8 Cheshvan, 5784
Parsha Lekh Lekha: (Genesis 12:1 -17:27) 
Second Portion: Genesis 12:14- 13:4

It’s interesting. The past two years looking back, I seemed to really struggle with this portion.  Today, I think I have a better handle on it. 

We left yesterday on a cliffhanger. Abram asks Sarai to lie – in order to protect him.  To protect his soul. What will she do?

The Torah does not mention specifically that Sarai honored the request of Abram – which I find really interesting.  This is what the Torah says:

14And it came to pass when Abram came to Egypt, that the Egyptians saw the woman, that she was very pretty.

15And Pharaoh’s princes saw her, and they praised her to Pharaoh, and the woman was taken to the house of Pharaoh.

16And he benefited Abram for her sake, and he had flocks and cattle and he donkeys and men servants and maid servants, and she donkeys and camels.

So it would seem; Sarai did what Abram asked her to do.  But the Torah does NOT record this. It keeps no record of her doing this.  It only records Abram’s actions here.  But wait, not only this – as we read here:

17And the Lord plagued Pharaoh [with] great plagues as well as his household, on account of Sarai, Abram’s wife.

18And Pharaoh summoned Abram, and he said, “What is this that you have done to me? Why did you not tell me that she was your wife?

19Why did you say, ‘She is my sister,’ so that I took her to myself for a wife? And now, here is your wife; take [her] and go.”

20And Pharaoh commanded men on his behalf, and they escorted him and his wife and all that was his.

Sarai said nothing, according to Pharaoh – Abram is the one who told Pharaoh and his men that Sarai was his sister. 

And there can’t be a question here – Pharaoh says “I took her to myself for a wife.”  I believe Pharoah had to know the plagues were connected to knowing Sarai in a way he should not have known. 

Something I am reflecting on this year.  Value.  What is a person’s value?  In one sense, we may judge this situation as Sarai having no value.  HOW could Abram ask Sarai to do this?  Doesn’t he VALUE her as a wife?  How could he ask her to betray their marriage?

Yet, it would seem Abram valued something more. The Torah seems to value something more, and this is where this portion makes more sense (in my opinion). 

What is the value of a woman? 

If it is her beauty? This story would have looked VERY different. Think about it.  Abram was saying Sarai had beauty – and he was concerned about the impact her beauty would have when they entered the land – ON HIS SOUL.  He knew (rightly) that Pharoah would take Sarai and likely kill Abram (releasing his soul) if Abram was Sarai’s husband. Abram knew his soul had more purpose and work to do on this earth.

Abram valued LIFE. And when it came to Sarai, his wife, Abram knew there was NO GREATER RISK to his life than her. This communicates VALUE.  If he did not value Sarai, Abram could have made a different choice.  Instead of asking Sarai to be his sister – he could have just ignored the attachment he had to Sarai and just divorced her. Cast her aside. Told her to “stay in the car” as he went into Egypt.

But no.  Abram wasn’t willing to let Sarai go.  He VALUED her.  Sarai’s beauty wasn’t what Abram valued.  It was her SOUL.  It was his SOUL.  It was THEIR connection to Hashem. 

Because Pharoah had no doubt of Hashem’s power through this process.  Pharaoh could NOT ignore the relationship Hashem had with Abram and Sarai.  Sarai’s POWER is what gave her value. And, Abram knew this.

I am beginning to think maybe Abram didn’t do the wrong thing here.  He made the best choice given the circumstances.  This is why Abram and Sarai were BOTH rewarded.  Abram trusted Hashem more than he trusted his marriage and attachment to Sarai as husband/wife.   And it would appear they were rewarded.

Because this is how today’s portion ends (bold highlight mine):

1And Abram came up from Egypt, he and his wife and all that was his, and Lot with him, to the south.

2And Abram was very heavy with cattle, with silver, and with gold.

3And he went on his journeys, from the south and until Beth el, until the place where his tent had been previously, between Beth el and between Ai.

4To the place of the altar that he had made at first, and Abram called there in the name of the Lord.

Abram and Sarai had a LOT of stuff with them.  THEY were blessed.  And they came full circle. And Abram reconnected with Hashem.  Abram and Hashem were primary.  Abram and Sarai were secondary. And Sarai was still important to Abram.  But not as important as Hashem. 

Let me close with this.  Think about Sarai’s POWER.  Think about her VALUE in all of this.  She knew the father of our people.  She was the MOTHER of all of us as Jews.  AND.  She knew a great king.  She knew the Pharaoh.  And she wasn’t punished for this. She is both a mother and a queen.  That’s value. 

Yet we don’t think about this, naturally, do we?  We just see Abram pawning his wife off on Pharaoh.  We see Abram casting aside his wife just to live.  And, as I reflect on this, I can see; my own devaluing of the feminine as being the reason I bring this lens to this portion of the Torah.  Because I HAVE BELIEVED men have more power than women (growing up in Patriarchal America) I bring my own values and beliefs to this story.  So many times before.  I now see, the power and value Sarai has.

What are your thoughts?