Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 1 Tevet, 5785

It’s a new year, and a new moon cycle.  So many possibilities. Someone asked me my thoughts on resolutions. I responded that I wasn’t a fan of making resolutions as much as setting intentions. What do I intend for this next moon cycle? What do I intend for this arbitrary measure of time we call a “year?”  (Tongue in cheek there).

Well, if the energy of the moon cycle of Tevet is any indication, we can align with the intention of that cycle to align our intents for the year.  It is not a coincidence these cycles are aligned.

Tevet’s energy is all about “Repair and Chaos.” I shared this yesterday from Chabad’s website here.

So if we set an intention to meet the chaos as it arrives with the curiosity around how that chaos can bring us within ourselves for repair? I feel like this is a decent intention for us to set.

Repair.

Step 1: Repair within ourselves.

Step 2: Repair our relationships with others:

Automatically we think to ourselves – other people – don’t we? And yes, that is a good thing. And? There are other relationships to repair.  Our relationship to food. To work. To money.

And? It is a shift to repair our relationship with energy (which food provides), to abundance (which money provides), with purpose (which work can provide).

What is being repaired?

Can we reflect back and see what was repaired over the last year?

Joseph, in today’s portion gives us some important tips:

Joseph repairs his connection with his brothers. He reminds them there are not victims or villains. He is not the victim, his brothers are not the villains. EVERYTHING that unfolded? Was designed by the Universe (Hashem) to work for the family’s best.

Joseph teaches us that multiple realities can live at the same time. While he was in Egypt living and being free, his brothers and father were living a much different reality. He shows us the multidimensional reality we all find ourselves in.

Finally, Joseph teaches us this – when we are stuck in a reality – how quickly can we see and adapt to data that reveals a different reality for us?

If we want to repair? The Chaos can reveal to us where we are missing other realities and possibilities that exist that would lead us further along in our repair journey.

If we do not DESIRE repair? It’s going to continue to be a bumpy road.

In observation, I would argue the struggle we are facing collectively? All around the choice within us to be protected and safe vs taking steps to repair.

Chaos does not “feel” safe. Repair is safe.

What are your thoughts? Email me if I can support you in any way.

tyler@TikkunOlam47.com

Here are my thoughts from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 7 Tevet, 5784
Parsha Va-Yiggash (Genesis 44:18 – 47:27)
Third Portion: Genesis 45:8 – 45:27

Good morning! We are now one full week into the month of Tevet – a month of Repair and Chaos. I’ve had quite a few conversations with friends about how there is a lot of chaos in our lives – much being revealed as the light of the moon this cycle increases.  We can trust and remember – this chaos is meant to repair. If we are stuck, the chaos will move us to make decisions we need to make to move us in the direction we want to go.  We can trust the chaos as much as the repair!

Let’s dig in. Joseph has just revealed himself. But he wasn’t finished. We left off with Joseph telling his brothers his purpose.  And to alleviate any guilt, he doesn’t see himself as a victim or the brothers as a villain – instead he turns us to Hashem:

8And now, you did not send me here, but God, and He made me a father to Pharaoh, a lord over all his household, and a ruler over the entire land of Egypt.

He tells his brothers – you did not do this to me. Hashem did. And not only did He allow me to be a slave in Egypt – he made me a father to Pharaoh.  Pharaoh comes to JOSEPH for advice! Joseph rules over Egypt.  That is all Hashem. 

Joseph then turns and gives his brothers directions:

9Hasten and go up to my father, and say to him, ‘So said your son, Joseph: “God has made me a lord over all the Egyptians. Come down to me, do not tarry.

10And you shall dwell in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near to me, you and your children and your grandchildren, and your flocks and your cattle and all that is yours.

11And I will sustain you there for there are still five years of famine lest you become impoverished, you and your household and all that is yours.” ‘

12And behold, your eyes see, as well as the eyes of my brother Benjamin, that it is my mouth speaking to you.

13And you shall tell my father [of] all my honor in Egypt and all that you have seen, and you shall hasten and bring my father down here.”

Joseph tells his brothers – “go get Dad. QUICKLY.” But his emotions got him:

14And he fell on his brother Benjamin’s neck and wept, and Benjamin wept on his neck.

15And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them, and afterwards his brothers spoke with him.

Joseph wanted his dad there quickly AND did not waste the moment – he took the opportunity to embrace his brothers and speak with them. He embraced the moment. And he didn’t get ahead of himself.  He wanted his dad there quickly AND wanted to extend the moment.  That is a crucial take away from us. How often do we lose sight of a moment? Let’s keep going:

16And the voice was heard [in] Pharaoh’s house, saying, “Joseph’s brothers have come!” And it pleased Pharaoh and his servants.

17And Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Tell your brothers, ‘Do this load up your beasts and go, enter the land of Canaan.

18And take your father and your households and come to me, and I will give you the best of the land of Egypt, and [you will] eat the fat of the land.’

19And you [Joseph] have been commanded [to tell them], ‘Do this: take yourselves wagons from the land of Egypt for your young children and for your wives, and you shall carry your father and come.

20And let your eye not be concerned about your utensils, for the best of all the land of Egypt is yours.’ “

Joseph’s boss, Pharoah (or is it Joseph’s son Pharaoh?) gets wind of the reunion. Pharaoh goes to Joseph and tells him – “I got you.” Not only will your brothers go in YOUR name – they will also go in MINE.

Think about this – it would be one thing to have Joseph’s brothers go to Jacob with what Jacob has said on his own. But to ALSO bring word of Pharaoh?  That would be cause for Jacob to know EXACTLY what was happening.  Because at this moment – Jacob had NO CLUE Joseph was even alive. Jacob may have been worried that he had ALSO lost Benjamin.  He was likely on the cusp of fear and anxiety. And. Without Jacob knowing it? Things were happening that were about to BLOW HIS MIND.

So. What is a take away for us?

How often – when we don’t know what’s going on, do we fear the worst.  Like Jacob, do we assume the sons go to Egypt and never return? Do we even given thought to the possibility they go to Egypt and bring word JOSEPH is alive? That was real in that moment.  In Jacob’s reality though, it wasn’t. There are multiple realities here.

And for us – what do we ASSUME about the realities we are unaware of? Do we assume the worst? Why? I know I often do. I often think when I am not in control, when I am scared, that things are working AGAINST me.  I never even give thought that they could all be working for me.  This is our work to do.  Seeing all outcomes – and recognizing that what we focus on might impact our reality.

Let’s keep going:

21And the sons of Israel did so, and Joseph gave them wagons by Pharaoh’s orders, and he gave them provisions for the way.

22He gave them all, to each one [several] changes of clothes, and to Benjamin he gave three hundred [pieces of] silver and five changes of clothes.

23And to his father he sent the following: ten he donkeys carrying of the best of Egypt, and ten she donkeys carrying grain, bread, and [other] food, for his father for the way.

24And he sent off his brothers, and they went, and he said to them, “Do not quarrel on the way.”

Joseph does something interesting here. First, he gives them Pharaoh’s provisions. He gave Benjamin a five times portion. And we can believe the brothers did NOT CARE at this point!

Then he sent 20 donkeys – 10 male, 10 female to his father.

Then he gave a piece of advice to the brothers.

To me? This is important because he starts with riches and ends with wisdom.  Advice. It’s worth a lot more than gold. Because if Jacob sees the brothers arguing – it may impact the message.  Ok – let’s finish: 

25So they went up from Egypt, and they came to the land of Canaan, to their father, Jacob.

26And they told him, saying, “Joseph is still alive,” and [they told him] that he ruled over the entire land of Egypt, and his heart changed, for he did not believe them.

27And they told him all of Joseph’s words that he had said to them, and he saw the wagons that Joseph had sent to carry him, and the spirit of their father Jacob was revived.

So – it’s interesting here – in verse 25, the Torah says “their father, Jacob.” So he is grounded in a reality and not connected to divinity it would seem.  And he goes through a process – he doesn’t believe them.  Until we come to the end of the verse – “the spirit of their father Jacob was revived.”  I wonder if this means we will see Israel tomorrow?

Jacob’s reality came crashing down. His anxieties and fears about Joseph and Benjamin were all energy that wasn’t geared towards reality.

Was Jacob deluded? No. He had data and did what he needed to with that data.  He now had new data – and was able to adapt to this new reality.

And that is the lesson – when we are stuck in a reality – how quickly can we see and adapt to data that reveals a different reality for us?

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 8 Tevet, 5784
Parsha Va-Yiggash (Genesis 44:18 – 47:27)
Fourth Portion: Genesis 45:28 – 46:7

Good morning!  Today we are approaching the Winter Solstice. The shortest day of the year. The most darkness. The least amount of light.  And. As we arrive today, the moon is growing in it’s fullness to reflect the light of the sun to us in this moment as well.  This is the month of Tevet – chaos and repair.

I encourage you to read my commentaries the past two years. A year ago is when I began to work on my shadow. It’s odd to reflect on this work over the past year and where it has brought me.  I have shared recently about how in the book “Growing Yourself up” by Dr. Jenny Brown, she talks about family systems dynamics and how we begin to see the world through a lens of victims and villains. 

A friend recently unlocked for me – that the next phase of my shadow work is to love both the victim and villain within ME.  That is where my healing energies will go.  Learning to love those parts within me I feel have been victimized, and learning to love those parts within me I believe are villainized. All within me. By me.

And Joseph is a great example here, isn’t he? He could play the victim card so much – he was thrown into a pit. He was sold into slavery. He was wrongly accused and thrown into prison.  He could also play the villain card – look at how he manipulated his brothers?

And yet Joseph seems to continue to live a life of freedom and trust. A great example for us.

Before we dig in – as the Torah turns us now towards our journey to slavery. The worst slavery. The deepest slavery. So much so – it took supernatural means of bringing us out of it. See if these questions help us as we walk down this path:

• Where within us are those spaces – intellectually, emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually – that we believe we are victims? Where do we see ourselves in our lives as having no choice or control, and circumstances and external forces have caused us to be where we are?  Where are we the victim?
• Where within us are those spaces – intellectually, emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually – that we believe we are villains? Where do we see ourselves as a pariah? Where do we see ourselves where we HAD choice and control, and we engaged external forces and circumstances in a way we reflect on that is “bad” or “wrong?”

Right now – I think we are just called into an awareness of these areas. We don’t need to “do” anything.  Just be. Be curious.

Speaking of curiosity, this morning – I read in Mark Nepo’s “Book of Awakening” the following quote:

“Somehow, as we journey into the world, more and more gets in the way, and we STOP questioning things in order to move deeper into them and START questioning as a way to challenge things that we fear are false.”

When we ask ourselves these questions – are we asking them out of fear or a desire to dig deeper? This is the difference between asking questions of judgment – vs questions of curiosity.

It is with THIS all in mind – it’s time for us to start our descent in the Torah into slavery.  Let’s dig into today’s portion of “Va-Yiggash” which means – “And he approached.”

Which, by the way – I wonder if THAT is what this portion is about. Our approach into slavery. To explore and be curious as to what led us down this road?

And we approach the portion:

28And Israel said, “Enough! My son Joseph is still alive. I will go and see him before I die.”

Ok. That’s a fascinating start for a few reasons. Let’s provide context from yesterday’s portion.

27And they told him all of Joseph’s words that he had said to them, and he saw the wagons that Joseph had sent to carry him, and the spirit of their father Jacob was revived.

That was the LAST line of yesterday’s portion. Some curious observations:

1. The last line of Chapter 45 is split off from yesterday’s portion for some reason. Why not END with verse 28?  Would that have made more sense?  We would have started with Chapter 46:1 today. But we didn’t.  Why?
2. From verse 27 to 28, Jacob’s name IMMEDIATELY shifts from Jacob to Israel. It literally reads: “Jacob was revived. And Israel said, “Enough!”

My thoughts:

We are meant to notice the shift.  From Jacob to Israel. Israel’s spirit was revived. Israel was living and speaking from a place of power. Spiritual liberation and freedom. We need to pay attention here. We are meant to really listen (in my opinion) to what is about to happen. We have enough.

This may be a stretch – but I ALSO think today’s first line is crucial. “My son Joseph is still alive. I will go and see him before I die.”

What if we are called to look for the Joseph within? The spirit within us we’ve imprisoned falsely? The villain/victim within us? What if the path to spiritual liberation and freedom is to recognize these parts within us we’ve repressed and tried to kill – and now realize – life has given us enough – Hashem has revealed in us enough – for us to boldly go deep within ourselves to go and see our victims/villains within – before we die?   What if this is our TRUE purpose as souls?

Ok. Let’s keep going – we turn the chapter to 46:

1And Israel and all that was his set out and came to Beer sheba, and he slaughtered sacrifices to the God of his father Isaac.

2And God said to Israel in visions of the night, and He said, “Jacob, Jacob!” And he said, “Here I am.”

3And He said, “I am God, the God of your father. Do not be afraid of going down to Egypt, for there I will make you into a great nation.

4I will go down with you to Egypt, and I will also bring you up, and Joseph will place his hand on your eyes.

5And Jacob arose from Beer sheba, and the sons of Israel carried their father Jacob and their young children and their wives, in the wagons Pharaoh had sent to carry him.

Whoa. Did you catch what just happened? Israel set out on his journey (maybe within) and he slaughtered sacrifices to Hashem – remember we have Hashem in us – our Neshama. 

And when Israel did this? When he sacrificed the world around him in order to connect with Hahsem? Hashem met him there. And how Hashem approached him? “Jacob! Jacob!”

Hashem flipped Israel BACK to Jacob. This may be a sign of the descent into slavery. AND this also may be a sign that we have our shadow work to do. This isn’t a change of name from a place of judgment. This is a focus for us. And Jacob responds “here I am!”  He is paying attention!  And what does Hahsem tell him?

3And He said, “I am God, the God of your father. Do not be afraid of going down to Egypt, for there I will make you into a great nation.

4I will go down with you to Egypt, and I will also bring you up, and Joseph will place his hand on your eyes.

Hashem literally tells Jacob – don’t be afraid of going down to Egypt.  Hashem knows what is going to happen.  If we are afraid of our shadow – we can remember – as we explore the victim and villain within us? Hashem is ALSO there. Our Neshama is ALSO there. And that provides us SAFETY in the shadow. In the darkness. In the chaos.

Hashem will go down with us – and will bring us up.  And. “Joseph will place his hand on your eyes.”  When we see the Joseph within us? Our eyes will be opened. We will awaken. We will see freedom. We will see liberation. Within us.

This seems super encouraging to me.  What about you?  Ok. Let’s finish the portion – what does Jacob do next?

6And they took their livestock and their possessions that they had acquired in the land of Canaan, and they came to Egypt, Jacob and all his descendants with him.

7His sons and his sons’ sons with him, his daughters and his sons’ daughters and all his descendants he brought with him to Egypt.

Jacob listened to Hashem. He descended with everything he had. And that is where we leave the Torah today.

This seems like a fulcrum point for all of us in the Torah.  This seems like the Genesis of slavery.

And one more takeaway?

No matter our work on ourselves. No matter how hard we strategize. No matter how much we try to make our lives “better” or “easier”? At some point we WILL go down. Because that is the only way to go up. And. We have a choice. Jacob was free – he could have EASILY convinced himself his sons were lying. That was HIS reality. He allowed a new reality to form within him, and he followed a path based on the choices he made. He chose to descend into Egypt. Will we choose to descend into our own shadows? To learn to love our shadows? To learn to love the villain and victim within?

Thoughts?