9 Nisan, 5785 - Tikkun Olam 47

on April 7, 2025

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 9 Nisan, 5785

Good morning! It is a new week, and we are in the second Parsha of Leviticus – Tzav. This is a Hebrew word meaning “Command.”

And we are discovering that the book of Leviticus? It seems to be about relationships? We’ve been studying about what we sacrifice for a relationship. What we offer in a relationship.

Today’s message is two fold – it’s about going slow – and it’s about making mistakes.

This is a key takeaway (from the Chumash I am reading from) from two years ago:

“You are the guardian of your inner flame, which illuminates the path to your highest self. Every decision you make either feeds your flame or causes it to diminish. With a weakened flame, you fall easily into fear and worry. With a strong flame your consciousness expands and you are energized. How is your flame burning today?”

We are the gatekeepers of our own heart. The decisions we make moment by moment feed or diminish our flame. This is the key. If our flame is out – or even weak? We can make decisions that will feed this flame and help it burn brighter.

And what can that lead to? Shame. Guilt. More decisions to diminish our flame.

And a key concept? Dignity. Do we keep our dignity burning bright? Or do we diminish it?

How we engage with others’ and THEIR dignity likely represents the flame within:

“I’m chewing on this in connection to those who have hurt us. Who may have sinned against us. Do we try to cause that person embarrassment? Or do we try to keep their dignity? I’ll confess, in practical ways, this is a major struggle. When someone hurts me, there is something inside of me that wants retribution and payback. I want them to be embarrassed publicly.

But that is not what is called for. We are called to love them in ways that go beyond humanly possible.

And what a true sacrifice that is, right? To put our own ego aside and look to love those in a way who have hurt us?

That is not to say we should be doormats. We are called to put boundaries up. To build within our hearts a “holy of holies” that only we can enter, right? The sinners weren’t allowed into the holy of holies. Only the high priest. When we allow anyone into the holy of holies in our hearts, we create no separation.

If we see our own dignity? We want to preserve the dignity of others, no? This is the light of our flame? If we feel guilt and shame and our flame is diminished? We want to diminish the flame of someone else.

We are the guardians of our own flame. And this was reinforced by my reading this morning from Mark Nepo’s “Book of Awakening:”

“I still struggle not to be shaped by what others think. This is at once the clearest of spiritual intents and yet the hardest to stay true to:

How to stay open to what others feel and not to what they think.

We cannot live without being affected by others, but we are only real when we let truth and love shape us from within. Our want to be liked, our want to avoid conflict, or want to be understood – all these traits tease us away from taking the voice within seriously.”

How can we stay open to what others feel and not to what they think?

This is the command and push for us as we get ready for the Passover! The freedom from Egypt.

What are your thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 15 Adar II, 5784
Parsha Tzav – “Command”: (Leviticus 6:1 – 8:36)
Second Portion: Leviticus 6:12 – 7:10

Good morning! I hope we all had an amazing Purim and Full Moon Solar Eclipse! We have shifted FULLY into Eclipse season – where things hidden will be revealed! This starts within us!

I want to reset our learning from yesterday (from the Chumash I am reading) as we dug into this week’s portion. It was a good reminder to come back to:

Leviticus seems to be all about relationships. Who is guarding our inner flame? Are we? Or are we asking someone ELSE (like a lover, a friend, our KIDS) to guard it for us?

Do we “lose ourselves” in our relationships? Leviticus seems to bring us back to what is important. How to navigate our mistakes in relationships. How to navigate our feelings of guilt in relationships. How to feel PEACE in our relationships. These are the sacrifices. And – I am also reflecting on how we RECEIVE the sacrifices of OTHERS.

Leviticus is all about relationships. A year ago, I wrote this about today’s portion:

I’m chewing on this in connection to those who have hurt us. Who may have sinned against us. Do we try to cause that person embarrassment? Or do we try to keep their dignity? I’ll confess, in practical ways, this is a major struggle. When someone hurts me, there is something inside of me that wants retribution and payback. I want them to be embarrassed publicly.

But that is not what is called for. We are called to love them in ways that go beyond humanly possible.

And what a true sacrifice that is, right? To put our own ego aside and look to love those in a way who have hurt us?

This, combined with our learning yesterday? Who commands our hearts? Do we command our heart? When someone hurts us? Do we turn inward to reflect on how we did not guard our own heart and protect it? Or do we hyper focus on how we may have allowed someone ELSE to guard our inner flame, and they failed? That is not something to bring public embarrassment to. Because if we do? We will end up bringing OURSELVES to embarrassment.

This is NOT to say others can’t hurt us. It’s our RESPONSE to the hurt that matters. We can feel the hurt, and feel the impact of it. And recognize the hurt can diminish our flame – and fall into fear and worry. Or we can recognize the hurt can FEED our flame, the feelings can be felt and that can EXPAND and energize us. How will we approach TODAY’S portion? Let’s dig in:

12And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying,

13This is the offering of Aaron and his sons, which they shall offer to the Lord, on the day when [one of them] is anointed: One tenth of an ephah of fine flour for a perpetual meal offering, half of it in the morning and half of it in the evening.

We worked our way from the priests sacrifices, to the leaders, to the people. We now go back to the anointing of a new priest.

This is an offering.

I am reflecting on this. I am wondering if the “day of anointing” is when we are establishing a new relationship? When we allow someone NEW to come into our holy of holies? The inner most places of our hearts? There are priests who come into these places on the regular. And. When we allow someone new – someone from the bloodline of Aaron and his sons. When we allow someone’s masculine energies into our hearts and we receive them?

The offering we give? Much fuller. Whereas before? We were taking 2 or 3 fingers full of the offering, when a new relationship forms? We offer up 10%.

Let’s contemplate on this.

10% of a day? 2.4 hours.

10% of a week? 16.8 hours.

And? We eat half in the morning/half in the evening. This would mean 1.2 hours in the morning, 1.2 hours in the evening. 8.4 hours at the beginning of the week, 8.4 hours at the end.

Remember – this is when a NEW relationship is anointed.

This feels like a pretty good offering up of our time at the beginning of a new relationship, doesn’t it? It feels healthy.

I am not creating a rule here. It’s a measuring stick. A way to determine who is the guardian of our hearts. If we have someone LIVE in our holy of holies? Probably not healthy.

Just something I am chewing on. Let’s keep going:

14It shall be made with oil on a shallow pan, after bringing it scalded and repeatedly baked; you shall offer a meal offering of broken pieces, [with] a pleasing fragrance to the Lord.

Interesting. A meal offering of broken pieces.

What would bringing 10% of our broken pieces into a new relationship look like?

Do we share the DEPTHS of who we are? 100%? Or do we share just a taste of our broken parts? And these aren’t REALLY broken parts, right?

I think of the song “This is Me” from the Greatest Showman. And the lyrics:

                I am not a stranger to the dark.
                “Hide away”, they say.
                “’Cause we don’t want your broken parts.”
                I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars.
                “Run away”, they say.
                “No one’ll love you as you are.”

The Torah is calling BS on this.

As a reaction to the darkness? When we get into a NEW relationship? What do we tend to do with our traumas? We either give them 100% to our new partner – or we keep them hidden 100%.

The Torah today is guiding us to go SLOW in sharing our trauma with one another. We don’t need to “hide away” the parts of us that feel guilt and shame. Nor do we need to EXPOSE our guilt and shame fully either. Just 10% at the beginning.

Interesting.

Let’s keep going.

15And the kohen who is anointed instead of him from among his sons, shall prepare it; [this is] an eternal statute; it shall be completely burnt to the Lord.

16Every meal offering of a kohen shall be completely burnt; it shall not be eaten.

“The kohen who is anointed” instead of “him from among his sons” shall prepare it?

This may be telling us that the people in our lives who we ALREADY have anointed into our holy of holies – those we’ve ALREADY given access and trust? They can be trusted to prepare this for us. We can look to those in our lives we trust to ensure we are BALANCING the exposure in a new relationship. These are people we trust to TELL US THE TRUTH – because they’ve been in our holy of holies ALREADY.

So let’s recap.

New person we are entertaining an attachment to? To the point we want to let them in?

Start with 10% – time and trauma
Ask those who are ALREADY in our lives to help prepare this 10% – accountability

Let’s keep going:

17And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying,

18Speak to Aaron and to his sons, saying, This is the law of the sin offering: The sin offering shall be slaughtered before the Lord in the place where the burnt offering is slaughtered. It is a holy of holies.

So. I wrote about this last year. In our process of relationships? When we make mistakes or others do? We need to preserve DIGNITY. Our own dignity As well. Others should not be able to tell whether our offering is because of a mistake, or because we are grateful and anointing a new person into our lives.

Let’s keep going:

19The kohen who offers it up as a sin offering shall eat it; it shall be eaten in a holy place, in the courtyard of the Tent of Meeting.

20Anything that touches its flesh shall become holy, and if any of its blood is sprinkled on a garment, [the area of the garment] upon which it has been sprinkled, you shall wash in a holy place.

21An earthenware vessel in which it is cooked shall be broken, but if it is cooked in a copper vessel, it shall be purged and rinsed with water.

22Every male among the kohanim may eat it. It is a holy of holies.

23But any sin offering some of whose blood was brought into the Tent of Meeting to make atonement in the Holy, shall not be eaten; it shall be burned in fire.

This last line was confusing until I went back and realized – it was the difference in WHERE the sacrifice was made. The priests – they may represent people who have come into our lives – who we’ve allowed to come into our holy of holies. And – if we have sinned? If the offering was made within? The priests could eat it. The atonement was made, and everything that touches it? They get closer to our hearts.

And this makes sense, doesn’t it? If we make a mistake in a relationship. If WE MAKE A MISTAKE in a relationship. If WE. Not THEM. WE. If I make a mistake in a relationship and offer up a sacrifice within me to atone for the mistake, I can share it with the priests and it is HOLY. It brings other people deeper within my heart.

And? If the sacrifice was made externally? Like publicly? That is not something that anyone can eat- because it doesn’t bring anyone into our hearts – because when EVERYONE is in our hearts? No one is.

And I go back to:

Whew. We are the guardian of our inner flame. Who is guarding it, really? The Torah is REALLY encouraging us to guard our own flames here. Ok. Let’s keep going:

7:1And this is the law of the guilt offering. It is a holy of holies.

Guilt. Guilt lives in the holy of holies. Letting go of our guilt. Offering our feelings of guilt? This needs to be shared with ONLY the most priestly within our lives.

Public confessions of our guilt? That is NOT about our inner holy work. That is not to say there is no space for public confessions of guilt. It’s just to say, there is a DIFFERENCE between sin and guilt. And dignity.

Sin. Guilt. Dignity.

I am chewing on that.

When I make a mistake? I want to correct it. And. Part of me wants to hold onto the guilt – because I believe it will DRIVE ME to not make the mistake again. I am AFRAID of making the mistake again. And I am AFRAID of embarrassment.

I am protecting my dignity.

When someone ELSE makes a mistake and hurts me?

There is a part of me? Wants to EXPOSE them. I want them to be embarrassed. Making a choice to preserve THEIR dignity? That is REALLY a sacrifice, isn’t it?

Guilt is holy. Who do we share our OWN guilt with? Vs gossiping about the GUILT of others?

Let’s see what the Torah says:

2They shall slaughter the guilt offering in the place where they slaughter the burnt offering; and its blood shall be dashed upon the altar, around.

3And all of its fat he shall offer from it: the tail and the fat covering the innards,

4and the two kidneys [along] with the fat that is upon them, which is on the flanks, and the diaphragm with the liver; along with the kidneys he shall remove it.

5And the kohen shall cause them to [go up in] smoke on the altar as a fire offering to the Lord. It is a guilt offering.

6Any male among the kohanim may eat it; it shall be eaten in a holy place. It is a holy of holies.

7Like the sin offering, so is the guilt offering, they have one law; the kohen who effects atonement through it to him it shall belong.

Interesting. Where we bring our sin and guilt? They are treated the same. Our mistakes AND our FEELINGS of guilt? They are under the same “law.” Whoever we process our guilt and mistakes with? That priest in our lives? They will be forever connected to it.

We need to guard our flame. We need to ONLY anoint priests in our hearts who are trustworthy with our guilt and mistakes.

Let me say that again.

We need to guard our flame. We need to ONLY anoint priests in our hearts who are trustworthy with our guilt and mistakes.

8And the kohen who offers up a person’s burnt offering, the skin of the burnt offering which he has offered up, belongs to the kohen; it shall be his.

9And any meal offering baked in an oven, and any one made in a deep pan or in a shallow pan, belongs to the kohen who offers it up; it shall be his.

10And any meal offering mixed with oil or dry, shall belong to all the sons of Aaron, one like the other.

The “skin” to me represents the line of what is UNDER the skin, and what is EXTERNAL to the skin. When we share our guilt and mistakes with someone? They own the skin. They can EXPOSE the guilt and sin to the external world. Or they can keep it under the skin.

And the guilt, sin, or burnt offering? Belongs not just to the person we shared it with and allowed it into the holy of holies? It belongs to ALL of their priests in THEIR holy of holies.

Wow. This is big.

Want to know how to guard our flame? This is it.

These are my thoughts. What are yours?

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