1 Iyar, 5785 – 16th Day of the Omer

on April 29, 2025

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 1 Iyar, 5785
16th Day of the Omer

Good morning! It is Rosh Chodesh! A new moon! A new opportunity for healing and intentions!!!

Today’s Omer theme is around the “Discipline of Compassion.” On one hand, it seems challenging to see needing to discipline our compassion. Shouldn’t we just give it fully? The key is how we balance the external compassion with the internal compassion. I wrote a week ago on how if we are seeing an imbalance in the reciprocation of compassion we get from others? It’s likely a reflection of the lack of balance of the compassion we have for our own selves.

We can likely become a doormat of compassion – where we sacrifice our own soul, values, beliefs and time for the purpose of others – and if this is our strategy? It is no WONDER we are seeing this reflected back to us in our relationships and friendships.

In the month of Iyar – this is all about healing. Healing this imbalance is a perfect way to navigate the realities we find ourselves in. What are your thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Good morning! It is the First Day of the Month of Iyar! It is time for healing! We have been reborn, we are new – and now it is time to heal. One of the themes right now is moving from complexity to simplicity. How can we get out of our heads, and into our hearts for healing? This is the question for the cycle ahead.

Today is also the 16^th Day of the Omer. Today’s theme is “The Discipline of Compassion.” From Chabad;

For compassion to be effective and healthy it needs to be disciplined and focused. It requires discretion both to whom you express compassion, and in the measure of the compassion itself. It is recognizing when compassion should be expressed and when it should be withheld or limited.

Discipline in compassion is knowing that being truly compassionate sometimes requires withholding compassion. Because compassion is not an expression of the bestower’s needs but a response to the recipient’s needs.

Am I more compassionate with strangers than with close ones? If yes, why? Is the compassion coming from guilt? Does my compassion for others compromise my own needs? Am I helping others at the expense of helping myself?

Perhaps the contrary is the case: Does my compassion for my family and close ones overshadow others needs? Is my compassion impulsive and careless? Do I assess the measure of compassion necessary for a given situation? Is it commensurate with the recipient’s needs? Can I possibly be hurting him with my compassion? Does my compassion overwhelm others? Is it respectful? Do I give too much or too little? Do others take advantage of my compassionate nature? When I see a needy person do I impetuously express compassion out of guilt or pity without any discretion? Do I commit the “crime” of compassion by helping him with something harmful (give him money to buy a harmful substance etc.)? Do I apply myself to determine this person’s needs and help him in the best way possible?

Exercise for the day: Express your compassion in a focused and constructive manner by addressing someone’s specific needs.

This is interesting right? How often do we feel “guilty” in our compassion? How are we discerning where to place our compassion – and how to we balance our compassion? If we rank our compassion – where would these people fall: