Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 2 Iyar, 5785
17th Day of the Omer
Today we are called to examine the source of our compassion. I am reflecting on reciprocal compassion. Balance. Harmony. Because if I am MORE compassionate and tender and love to OTHERS than I am to MYSELF? Where does the source of my compassion emanate from?
And? If I continue to bring people into my life who treat me the EXACT same way – where they EXPECT me to give them MORE compassion than I give myself – and THEY expect to RECEIVE more compassion than they give? That’s completely a choice and pattern I have been making, GROUNDED in a belief that I expect MYSELF to give others more compassion than I give myself. It is indeed, a never ending cycle.
What happens if we shift within? Where we EXPECT reciprocation? I start by being compassionate and tender within myself. Someone comes a long and is DRAWN to this? And as they enter into my world, I take some of the energy I have been building within me, and then SHARE that energy as I continue to build my own internal compassion battery?
And? Instead of unplugging that cord from the source within me and plugging it into someone ELSE? I maintain the cord into my internal source – and merely SHARE that energy with someone else? Where it’s not enough for someone else to sustain very long on, because I continue to EXPECT them to have their OWN source of love and compassion. And if it’s not enough for them, that’s ok.
This is choice we make. Will we stay grounded within our source – or will we unplug so that we can plug into someone ELSE?
This is the contemplation of compassion of compassion.
What are your thoughts?
Here are my thoughts from last year:
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 2 Iyar, 5784 –Day 17 of Omer
Good morning! It is the 17th Day of the Omer – and today, we explore the “compassion of compassion.” From Chabad:
Examine the compassion of compassion. The expression of compassion and its intensity. True compassion is limitless. It is not an extension of your needs and defined by your limited perspective. Compassion for another is achieved by having a selfless attitude, rising above yourself and placing yourself in the other person’s situation and experience. Am I prepared and able to do that? If not, why? Do I express and actualize the compassion and empathy in my heart? What blocks me from expressing it? Am I locked in any way? Is my compassion compassionate or self-serving? Is it compassion that comes out of guilt rather than genuine empathy? How does that affect and distort my compassion? Test yourself by seeing if you express compassion even when you don’t feel guilty. Does my compassion come from a sense of duty or is it frivolous? On the other hand: Is my compassion alive; does it resound with vitality, or is it expressed only out of obligation? Is my compassion only a result of being a creature of habit who feels badly when another suffers, or do I actually apply myself to examine and refine my compassion, observing it’s limitations and forms of expression? How do I express compassion? Is my compassion beautiful? Is it well rounded? Does it contain the other six elements of tiferet, without which my full compassion remains unrealized.
Exercise for the day: Express your compassion in a new way that goes beyond your previous limitations: express it towards someone to whom you have been callous.
There is a lot to unpack here, I think. What is the source of our compassion? Is it selfless or obligatory? Does it come from a place of empathy? Or pity? Is it because I feel guilt? Or do I have a sense of fullness that my compassion overflows from? These are crucial questions – and once again, it begins from within.
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