Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 2 Sivan, 5785
46th Day of the Omer

Today’s theme is the “endurance of dignity” or the “determination of sovereignty.”  Its the idea that we are responsible for our own dignity and sovereignty FIRST.  We are responsible for our own safety within us first.

Once we have this? We open up a channel to see it in others.

I continue to believe the external world is a mirror reflecting our internal reality. This is not to say I blame people for what happens to them. This is to say, the only move when things happen to us? Look within us.  We cannot control others. We just can’t. No strategy can make someone act a certain way.  Those of us with kids? We understand this.

We are sovereign. We are only in control of our consciousness. I can decide to turn my consciousness to a tree on the side of the road. Or my foot. Or my hands typing on the keyboard. Or a moment in the past. Or a vision of the future. That is my control. That’s it.  Where does my consciousness live? That is sovereignty.

And this will endure. If our consciousness is turned towards others betrayal? We ignore the moments we knew something was unsafe and proceeded anyway and betrayed ourselves. If our consciousness is turned outwards towards survival? We ignore the abundance within us.

The universe (I believe) is a mirror – and it is always reflecting. The question is whether we can be curious about it.

What are your thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Shabbat Shalom! What an amazing day of rest.  As we are in the new month of Sivan, I read this from a year ago, and felt like it was super important:

Iyar (last month) is a month of healing.  It is also Kabbalistically connected to the right ear of the body – and the sefirot of Cochma (Wisdom).  From Chabad: “Cochma is the initial flash of insight one associates with the idea as a spark.  Initial ideas need to be developed and incorporated into the mind before they can become knowledge.”

Hopefully we have experienced the “sparks” of healing over the past moon cycle.  The idea of the ear is listening.  We listen with the right ear.  There is some debate, but the right side of our bodies is connected to the left side of our brain.  This is the logic side.  Math. Linear thinking. Facts.  The sparks over the month of Iyar around healing may have been some data we have been collecting to work towards healing.  Clarity.

As we transition to Sivan, Kabbalah talks about switching ears.  Moving from the right ear to the left ear.  Moving from Cochma to Bina.  From Chabad “Then comes Bina, the gradual development and articulation of an idea or insight.  It’s the refinement or working out of an idea. It answers the question, “Why is this a good idea? Can this idea be rationally explained?”

The month of Sivan will hopefully take the data and sparks from last month and move them into development and integration into a path forward towards healing ourselves – and, in turn, healing the world.  One of the ways this happens is on the Holy Day of Shavuot.  As a Christian, you know this holiday as pentecost.

Shavuot is a two day holiday that centers around receiving the Torah.  It starts on the 6th day of Sivan (sunset on May 25th) and goes to the end of the 7th day of Sivan (sunset on May 27th).  It is interesting that Moon cycles are 28 days.  We finish the first quarter of the moon cycle with Shavuot.  one week later? We have the full moon – where the sun’s light shines fully on the moon and we have full illumination!  I almost picture this full moon in Sivan paired with the full moon in Iyar and you have two ears and two eyes.  Then we begin our journey towards the next month (Tamuz) – which actually is kabbalahistically the right eye – maybe where we will begin to see our healing more? Just a thought.

I am no expert here – just providing my thoughts.  I cannot predict the future.

Today is also the 46th day of the Omer. Today’s theme is the “Determination of Dignity.”  From Chabad:

A person’s dignity and a leader’s success is tested by his endurance level. Will and determination reflect the power and majesty of the human spirit. The strength of one’s sovereignty.

How determined am I in reaching my goals? How strong is my conviction to fight for a dignified cause? How confident am I in myself? Is my lack of endurance a result of my low self-esteem? Do I mask my insecurities by finding other excuses for my low endurance level?

Exercise for the day: Act on something that you believe in but have until now been tentative about. Take the leap and just do it!

One of the ideas I am reflecting on this morning is the connection between dignity and sovereignty. Remembering the idea of dignity being connected to “believing we are wanted and needed on this earth, in this world” is important – because during tough times? It is hard to maintain this belief.

Do we have to sacrifice our beliefs about around being wanted and needed in order to convince someone ELSE they are wanted and needed? That is the rub. That is conflict within.

Many times in our life we are confronted with the idea or possibility of sacrificing our beliefs, values, and personal convictions in order to make someone else happy.

As we move towards Shavuot – and we look towards Hashem to provide us direction, the question keeps coming back to – who is sovereign in our lives?  Does Hashem and the Torah define our values? What role do we play in that? Are we motivated by something within us? Or are we looking externally for stability, direction?

The Torah and Hashem might be considered “external” sources that define our sovereignty.  Unless – we pull them within us and allow them to be internal.  It’s all a matter of our hearts.  If we aren’t fully convinced, it will not be external.  And that’s ok.  Not something to judge ourselves on – but to be curious about.  Why?  Why do I feel the way I do? How does this conflict with a value I hold stronger to? Where did that value come from? These are important questions as we explore our sovereignty.