Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 7 Iyar, 5785
22nd Day of the Omer

Good morning! Today we start a new week of themes of the Omer – We’ve been through three so far:

Love

Discipline

Compassion

This week? We are digging into the energy of “endurance” or “victory.”

It is interesting to read where I was a year ago.  I wanted to improve my physical health. I started running and was met with struggle.  Where I shifted? Was small strength conditioning over the past year, to where this morning I was able to push myself with planks, shoulder taps, and many other physical activities I could not do a year ago.  I remember starting out, and crying because I could not even do 30 seconds of a plank.  Now? I am up to One minute and 25 seconds – with very little issue.

There have been things that have come up over the past year – distractions, changes, shifts in responsibilities, new jobs, more time with the kids, sickness, etc.

And each time? I have maintained the endurance of my practice. It hasn’t been perfect. Some weeks, I get 5 days of strength training in, some weeks (like last week) it was only two.

Instead of looking at it from the perspective of failure last week? I can see I maintained the practice. So when I woke up this morning, I could begin again and get my strength conditioning in.

All this to say – time is such a challenging concept for us to navigate in these bodies.

A year ago, if I had to choose between 5 months of perfect 5 day a week strength workouts with a drop off to zero days, or 2-3 days a week for a year? I’d choose the later.

So – this brings us to a word we don’t often hear much any more.

Tenacity. “The quality or fact of being able to grip something firmly; grip.” There is a level of determination here. How can we grasp or grip something tight enough to hold on, but not too tight where we exhaust ourselves?

And what is our “why?” What motivates us to grip it? Is it fear? Or is it love? This is the question and what I am reflecting on today!

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Good morning! We are now shifting from a week of compassion to a week of VICTORY! Endurance is the theme this week. We endure to victory!

From Chabad on the week ahead:

Week Four – Netzach (Victory! Endurance)

Endurance and ambition is a combination of determination and tenacity. It is a balance of patience, persistence and guts. Endurance is also being reliable and accountable, which establishes security and commitment. Without endurance, any good endeavor or intention has no chance of success.

Endurance means to be alive, to be driven by what counts. It is the readiness to fight for what you believe, to go all the way. Without such commitment any undertaking remains flat and empty. It is an energy which comes from within and stops at nothing to achieve its goals. This, of course, requires that endurance be closely examined to ensure that it is used in a healthy and productive manner.

Ask yourself: How committed am I to my values? How much would I fight for them? Am I easily swayed? What price am I ready to pay for my beliefs? Is there any truth for which I would be ready to give my life?

Effective endurance needs to encompass the following seven ingredients: love, discipline, compassion, endurance, humility, bonding and dignity. The problems people have with endurance and commitment are due to a lack of one or more of these seven components.

Day 22: Chesed of Netzach – The Loving of Endurance (or the Love of Victory!)  From Chabad:

For anything to endure it needs to be loved. A neutral or indifferent attitude will reflect in a marginal commitment. If you have difficulty making commitments, examine how much you love and enjoy the object that requires your commitment. Do I love my work? My family? My choices?

For endurance to be effective it needs to be caring and loving. Endurance without love can be counterproductive. Raw endurance can come across as harsh and aggressive, which undermines the cooperation of others. Out of sheer determination one may often become controlling and demanding, driving others away. For endurance to be successful it needs a loving and caring attitude, it requires patience.

Does my endurance cause me to be, or seem to be, inflexible? Does my drive and determination cause me to be controlling? Am I too demanding? Do others (my employees, friends, children) cooperate with me out of the sheer force of my will and drive, or out of love? Is my endurance unloving? In order to get my way would I allow others to get hurt? Do I believe that the end justifies the means? Would I stop at nothing to achieve my goals? When my endurance prevails and I overcome the obstacles in my way, am I still loving? Even when defending myself and others against unhealthy influences, am I driven by love or hate (see week two, day one)?

Exercise for the day: When fighting for something you believe in, pause a moment to ensure that it is accomplished in a loving manner.

So let me share a bit more.    Over the last four years, I have developed some AMAZING emotional and spiritual disciplines. I have endured some hard times and kept at it.  Yesterday, I was struggling because I am just starting a new physical fitness routine, and I have been starting a financial fitness routine as well.

When I started running, I pushed myself as hard as I could as quickly as I could.

Day 1: I ran a quarter mile without having to stop and rest.

Day 2: I ran a third of a mile without having to stop and rest.

Day 3: I ran half a mile without having to stop and rest. I was feeling super good.

Day 4: I ran ¾ of a mile without having to stop and rest. I was feeling good. I stopped, walked. And when I started to run again? STABBING pain in my hip.  I could not run.

I shared this with a friend who was a runner and she challenged me – “tyler – you went all out from day one! That’s not how you do this!”

What I did NOT realize – like my spiritual and emotional practices? I needed to start small. Slow. And build up.

Four years ago, when I was meditating, I could only do a minute or two. Now I am able to do 30-40.

Four years ago, when I started journaling, I was writing one or two sentences a day. Now? I can write so much I have to set a timer to stop.

All of this to say? Endurance needs to start with love.