Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 19 Cheshvan, 5784
Parsha Va-Yera’: (Genesis 18:1-22:24) 
Sixth Portion: Genesis 21:22 – 21:34

So – today’s portion is super interesting. It’s almost like we take a detour from the story.  We JUST finished learning about harmony – fire and water – Isaac and Ishmael.  The seeds of Abraham. And what do we get? Conflict!  Let’s read:

22Now it came to pass at that time, that Abimelech and Phicol his general said to Abraham, saying, “God is with you in all that you do.

23And now, swear to me here by God, that you will not lie to me or to my son or to my grandson; according to the kindness that I have done with you, you shall do with me, and with the land wherein you have sojourned.”

24And Abraham said, “I will swear.”

Abilemlech reaches out with an Olive branch. He acknowledges that Hashem was with Abraham. And asks Abraham to be kind.  And Abraham agrees.  Let’s keep reading:

25And Abraham contended with Abimelech about the well of water that the servants of Abimelech had forcibly seized.

26And Abimelech said, “I do not know who did this thing, neither did you tell me, nor did I hear [of it] until today. “

27And Abraham took flocks and cattle, and gave them to Abimelech, and they both formed a covenant.

Now two years ago I wrote about the significance of the wells, and the conflicts regarding them.  Here were my thoughts:

As a background, wells were dug to establish residency, and a place to congregate. The idea that Abimelech’s servants had seized This well was problematic to Abraham.

Think about the things in our life that ground us? What do they ground us in? When those things are taken away, it can often (maybe always?) be disrupting and destabilizing.

Sometimes, that’s a good thing because the wells we have dug keep us places that are not good for us. Other times they are dug to keep us from going to those same places that aren’t good for us.

So we need to assess our “wells.”

For me, this past month has been all about the wells I’ve dug to establish grounding and residency over the past two years.  Roles I’ve held onto. Places I’ve been “stuck.”  As those wells get taken away, how do we respond? Do we create a conflict? Do we work hard to get our well back? Or do we move?  Let’s see what Abraham does. He brings it up to Abimelech here.  And notice – Abraham doesn’t ask for the situation with the wells to be resolved BEFORE he makes a covenant.  He trusts and makes the covenant.  Let’s see where we go:

28And Abraham placed seven ewe lambs by themselves.

29And Abimelech said to Abraham, “What are these seven ewe lambs, which you have placed by themselves?”

30And he said, “For these seven ewe lambs you shall take from my hand, in order that it be to me for a witness that I dug this well.”

31Therefore, he named that place Beer sheba, for there they both swore.

32And they formed a covenant in Beer-sheba, and Abimelech and Phicol his general arose, and they returned to the land of the Philistines.

33And he planted an eishel in Beer-Sheba, and he called there in the name of the Lord, the God of the world.

34And Abraham dwelt in the land of the Philistines for many days.

Instead of demanding the wells be given back? Abraham PURSHASES them back!

Again, two years ago I wrote about Rabbi Schneerson’s commentary on this:

Rabbi Schneerson writes; “the Zohar refers, rather strangely, to (this well) as ‘Isaac’s well.’ Why is the well dug by Abraham accredited to Isaac?

Abraham embodied the attribute of love of God, whereas Isaac represented the fear of God. In general, you should endeavor to be in Abraham’s positive mode of loving God, continuing always in joyful Divine worship. However, if you possess ONLY love of God, and no fear, then your worship will not prevail, for inevitably your love of God will become narcissistic and degenerate into a love for other things. Fear of God is required to PRESERVE your love of God.

The well which Abraham dug did not prevail. It was filled by the Philistines, until, eventually, Isaac redug it. So, the Zohar refers even to the original well as ’Isaac’s Well’ since it was Isaac’s fear that perpetuated Abraham’s love.”

Fear.  How much of our wells are dug out of fear? How much are we afraid to let go of our wells because of fear? What new wells are we avoiding digging?  Who are we digging these wells for? Abraham dug this well, out of love. But it gets attributed to Isaac.  Out of Love, Abraham dug a well for Isaac. He didn’t even know this.  And when it was taken away from Abraham? He didn’t flinch.  He bought back the well. It was his. He could have fought for it.  But he bought it back instead.

This is a critical lesson for us. If the key is value – instead of fighting over principal and right/wrong, what is the path of least resistance to get what is of value to us? Abraham had a ton of cattle. Giving 7 to Abimelech avoided conflict. That’s the lesson here.

What wells are we overvaluing? What wells do we need to let go of?

Here is my commentary from two years ago:

Torah thoughts for the 16th of Heshvan, 5782

This is a short portion; it’s basically the covenant between Abimelech and Abraham.

The central focus seems to be around the well that belonged to Abraham. You can, in fact, still visit the site of this well today. This seems like an important well.

As a background, wells were dug to establish residency, and a place to congregate. The idea that Abimelech’s servants had seized This well was problematic to Abraham.

Think about the things in our life that ground us? What do they ground us in? When those things are taken away, it can often (maybe always?) be disrupting and destabilizing.

Sometimes, that’s a good thing because the wells we have dug keep us places that are not good for us. Other times they are dug to keep us from going to those same places that aren’t good for us.

So we need to assess our “wells.”

Moving forward. Abraham gave flocks and cattle to Abimelech and they formed a covenant. But then Abraham did something curious – he bought the well that was rightfully his. He did this as “proof” he dug the well.

Rabbi Schneerson writes; “the Zohar refers, rather strangely, to (this well) as ‘Isaac’s well.’ Why is the well dug by Abraham accredited to Isaac?

Abraham embodied the attribute of love of God,  whereas Isaac represented the fear of God. In general, you should endeavor to be in Abraham’s positive mode of loving God, continuing always in joyful Divine worship. However, if you possess ONLY love of God, and no fear, then your worship will not prevail, for inevitably your love of God will become narcissistic and degenerate into a love for other things. Fear of God is required to PRESERVE your love of God.

The well which Abraham dug did not prevail. It was filled by the Philistines, until, eventually, Isaac redug it. So, the Zohar refers even to the original well as ’Isaac’s Well’ since it was Isaac’s fear that perpetuated Abraham’s love.”

I’m sitting with that and chewing on that. I think often times I want to avoid fear, or convince myself not to be afraid, because somehow that’s mistrusting Hashem. However, the idea of fear is symbiotic with love.

And it’s interesting. When my oldest was born, as parents we discovered what we called the “first joy of parenting” which was fear. We didn’t know fear until we got pregnant. We’d use to joke (sometimes I’d get in trouble for it) about the book “what to expect while your expecting.” The book basically seemed like it should have been titled “let us talk about everything that could go wrong in your pregnancy to make you afraid.”

The fear has to be there though in order to preserve love.

Otherwise, as Rabbi Schneerson points out; loving God without fear is narcissism.

Thoughts? Curious to what others have to say on this!