Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 3 Kislev, 5784
Parsha Toledot: (Genesis 25:19- 28:9)
Fifth Portion: Genesis 26:30 -27:27

This is a longer passage but let’s be curious about it.  We asked “What happens next” with Abimelech’s approach to Isaac?  Here’s the answer (Genesis 26:30-31)

30So he made a feast for them, and they ate and drank.

31And they arose early in the morning, and they swore one to the other, and Isaac escorted them, and they went away from him in peace.

Isaac could have been bitter. He could have seen himself as a victim.  He could have judged Abimelech as a villain. And we need to be honest with ourselves here.  When we’ve read this Parsha – when we read about Abimelech – do we see him as a villain? No. He threw a party for Abimelech. A feast. And let Abimelech go in peace.

With Hashem – there are no victims and villains. Just my opinion. Isaac remained curious and went where he saw he needed to go. And how did Hashem respond?

32And it came to pass on that day, that Isaac’s servants came and told him about the well that they had dug, and they said to him, “We have found water.”

33And he named it Shibah; therefore, the city is named Beer sheba until this very day.

Hashem blessed their efforts. They dug a well. They found water. Trust. Trusting the process.  This is a good takeaway – are we trusting the process around us? What is unfolding beyond our control? Let’s keep going:

34And Esau was forty years old, and he married Judith, the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath, the daughter of Elon the Hittite.

35And they were a vexation of the spirit to Isaac and to Rebecca.

So – on the roller coaster ride of life? Hashem blessed the decision Isaac made to be curious – they found water in the well they dug. And then? They were vexed.

My takeaway here is – when blessing comes – we can’t get caught up on the blessing – because right around the corner? Vexing. And that vexing is happening for our good as well.

Let’s turn the page and dig into Chapter 27. This will become more familiar:

Genesis 27

1It came to pass when Isaac was old, and his eyes were too dim to see, that he called Esau his elder son, and he said to him, “My son,” and he said to him, “Here I am.”

2And he said, “Behold now, I have grown old; I do not know the day of my death.

3So, now, sharpen your implements, your sword [and take] your bow, and go forth to the field, and hunt game for me.

4And make for me tasty foods as I like, and bring them to me, and I will eat, in order that my soul will bless you before I die.”

It is interesting the Torah mentioned Isaac and Rebecca being “vexed” because of the decisions Esau made before jumping into Isaac asking to bless Esau, right?  What was going on within Isaac when talking to Esau about blessing him? Did Isaac already know what was going to unfold?

Let’s keep going:

5But Rebecca overheard when Isaac spoke to Esau his son, and Esau went to the field to hunt game, to bring [it].

6And Rebecca said to Jacob her son, saying, “Behold I have heard your father speaking to Esau your brother, saying,

7’Bring me game and make me tasty foods, and I will eat, and I will bless you before the Lord before my death.’

8And now my son, hearken to my voice, to what I am commanding you.

9Go now to the flock, and take for me from there two choice kids, and I will make them tasty foods for your father, as he likes.

10And you shall bring [them] to your father that he may eat, in order that he bless you before his death.”

11And Jacob said to Rebecca his mother, “Behold, my brother Esau is a hairy man, whereas I am a smooth man.

12Perhaps my father will touch me, and I will appear to him as a deceiver, and I will bring upon myself a curse and not a blessing.”

13And his mother said to him, “On me is your curse, my son. Only hearken to my voice and go, take [them] for me.”

14So he went, and he took, and he brought [them] to his mother, and his mother made tasty foods, as his father liked.

15And Rebecca took the costly garments of Esau, her elder son, which were with her in the house, and she dressed Jacob, her younger son.

16And the hides of the kids she put on his hands and on the smoothness of his neck.

17And she gave the tasty foods and the bread that she had made, into the hand of Jacob her son.

Rebecca had heard from Hashem. The older would serve the younger.  What I don’t read in the Torah – that I think I had inferred previously – was Rebecca’s emotional reaction to overhearing Isaac saying he was going to bless Esau.  My brain was expecting to read something like “Rebecca was distressed about what she heard – so she hatched a plan to usurp Isaac’s plan to bless Esau.

When we read verses 5-17 above – what tone of voice do you hear in your head as Rebecca is talking to Jacob? Me? I’ll confess; I hear anxiety.

And I have to realize – that’s MY addition to the Torah. Because there is a DIFFERENT way to read the passage. With the voice of trust and power. Rebecca saw what happened, and knew this was her purpose and plan. Hashem has laid this out for her and she knew exactly what to do. Every moment of her life happened – even the vexing – for her to be ready to do Hashem’s will. Isaac and Rebecca weren’t necessarily “vexed” in this moment. That’s not how feelings and emotions work.

“It came to pass when Isaac was old….”

This all happened long after the vexation of Isaac and Rebecca for Esau marrying Judith. Feelings don’t last.  They come and go like waves of the ocean.  Sure it is possible in this moment – Isaac was anxious about Judith and Esau. Or – the lesson for us could be – be careful what energy we are bringing to the table as it could cloud our understanding and wisdom.

Feelings are crucial. They are important. But they aren’t ways in which we should be making decisions.

Now. Reread the passage about the exchange between Rebecca and Jacob. Read it from a place of calm, power, trust, faith. It reads VERY differently – doesn’t it?

The second read of it? I notice Jacob’s anxiety. Jacob’s fear. He didn’t trust his mom’s plan.  He was worried about being cursed because he was deceiving his dad. He was stuck – honor his mom – or honor his dad. He was being asked to do one or the other. But was he?

Rebecca knew there was no curse. This was how Hashem had it all unfold. She trusted. To the point she told Jacob – if there is a curse to be had, it will be on me, and not you. That is not fear. That was trust that Hashem was unfolding this exactly has He told Rebecca it would.  The older will serve the younger.

I don’t think I have seen Rebecca in this light before now.  She wasn’t scared. She had faith.  Let’s see how this unfolds with Jacob and Isaac (remember – Isaac is the miracle child)

18And he came to his father and said, “My father!” And he said, “Here I am. Who are you, my son?”

19And Jacob said to his father, “I am Esau your firstborn. I have done as you have spoken to me. Please rise, sit down and eat of my game, so that your soul will bless me.”

20And Isaac said to his son, “How is it that you have found [it] so quickly, my son?” And he said, “Because the Lord your God prepared it before me.”

21And Isaac said to Jacob, “Please come closer, so that I may feel you, my son, whether you are really my son Esau or not.”

22So Jacob drew near to Isaac his father, and he felt him, and he said, “The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau.”

23And he did not recognize him because his hands were hairy like the hands of his brother Esau, and he blessed him.

Isaac wasn’t an old fool.  He HAD TO KNOW what Hashem told Rebecca about the twins. He knew the older would serve the younger. And – Isaac had a responsibility to be faithful and bless the older son.

This seems more like a way for Isaac and Rebecca to do Hashem’s will vs the way I have read this in the past. Isaac knew this wasn’t Esau. The Torah is clear here. “He did not recognize him.”  Isaac was old and blind. But he wasn’t dumb. He was wise. He was curious. He did not judge.  The Torah is clear. And Isaac blessed Jacob:

24And he said, “Are you [indeed] my son Esau?” And he said, “I am.”

25And he said, “Serve [it] to me that I may eat of the game of my son, so that my soul will bless you.” And he served him, and he ate, and he brought him wine, and he drank.

26And his father Isaac said to him, “Please come closer and kiss me, my son.”

27And he came closer, and he kissed him, and he smelled the fragrance of his garments, and he blessed him, and he said, “Behold, the fragrance of my son is like the fragrance of a field, which the Lord has blessed!

The focus on the field seems to connect to our last lesson: “As we experience wells of living water in our life – the path to slavery is arguing and harassment. Make space. For ourselves and others.  This is spiritual liberation and freedom.  Allowing and making space.  Spreading out.  Expansion. Not contraction.”

I also think there is a new takeaway here:

• The Path of Ascension begins with curiosity and not judgement
• If someone’s curiosity causes doubt and defensiveness, be curious about our own doubt and defensiveness and NOT their motives for curiosity.
• The tree of life is within us. Choose life within with curiosity and not judgment
• Learn to balance the comfort of stumbling, with the challenge of pushing ourselves towards spiritual growth.
• Let go of a stable life. Freedom is accepting “what is” as a blessing. We can’t control what happens. We can only navigate it with bitterness or flow.
• Freedom requires balance – emotions vs intellect, humility vs confidence, thinking as an individual while staying meaningfully connected to others.
• Freedom comes from expansion and not contraction – but contraction is important to the process of expansion
• To live free, we must circumcise the foreskin of past trauma and feel the pain of healing so that our higher selves can appear to us, and we can co-create miraculous NEW life for us and others.
• To be free, we must understand what love requires vs the world around us. 10%.  Just start there. Freedom is seeing the 10% and moving to 11%. Not being trapped by the daunting 90% we feel guilt and shame about.  The 90% is slavery. The 10% is freedom.
• Receive the Universe. Don’t Resist it. This is the path to freedom and liberation.
• We must be vulnerable and ask for the Universe to provide. And. We don’t need to ask because the Universe knows. This is freedom.
• We must accept and receive our role in co-creating moments with Hashem.
• As we experience wells of living water in our life – the path to slavery is arguing and harassment. Make space. For ourselves and others. This is spiritual liberation and freedom.  Allowing and making space.  Spreading out.   Not contraction.

Let’s add this:

When we take in stories and data – we need to be careful not to bring our own bias and trauma into how the data gets stored into our hearts and minds. Those who are “not us” are part of the human experience and have their own experiences. Be curious about what we are INFERRING versus what we believe the other person is INSINUATING. This is the path to freedom – especially in communication!

Freedom is NOT inferring OR insinuating. It is clear and direct communication.

These are my thoughts. I am curious about yours!

Here are my commentaries from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 30 Heshvan, 5783

Happy Thanksgiving!

First, before we dig into the portion today, tonight is the new moon. At sundown it is the start of the Hebrew month of kislev. Kislev is all about Harmony energy. The idea of Harmony is connected with Beauty. The Hebrew word “Tiferet” means Beauty.

https://www.chabad.org/…/Kislev-the-Third-Month-Being…

This article goes much deeper into this, but the idea of the month ahead is that tiferet is all about “harmony within diversity.” This is the true beauty. Beauty consists of the joining of two opposites. When those come together in harmony, it’s gorgeous.

Internally for me, it’s the idea of strength and victory coming together with surrender and loving kindness. How do those all connect? They sometimes seem like opposites. But the idea of being both strong and surrendered, having victory and being kind and loving all come together inside of us to create harmony.

It is from this harmony that we can create beauty. If we are not internally navigating these concepts and they are ruling over us one by one, we can create out of loving kindness, we can create out of strength, we can create out of surrender, and we can create out of victory. But it would be like painting a picture with only one color of paint.

Let’s set our intentions for the moon cycle ahead to work on our internal harmony. To synthesize the colors of the rainbow within to be the creators we were designed to be.

If we are made in the image of Hashem, we are made to create. This is why we are given the joy of Shabbat. Hashem designed us to be creators – not just canvases. We can be both. In harmony. May our Kislev be a month of harmony.

Let’s dig into the passage.

And WOW. A year ago I was in a much different place. Today, I’m recalibrating after receiving the blessing that Jacob received. This is my first thanksgiving away from the family. It is a tough day; AND a special day as well. Because it’s a reminder of my harmony. Through the chaos comes harmony. Peace.

Jacob and Esau were brothers. There was no harmony. Isaac and Rebekah were not in Harmony. They were all on different pages.

However. Jacob and his mother were in Harmony. Mother and son were United. And they had the power in the story. Hashem rewards their Harmony. They both wanted the same thing.

Isaac and Esau were not United. They ultimately wanted different things. Esau was not interested in the birthright; in living out his purpose. Isaac was trusting the process. Part of me believes Isaac knew he was blessing Jacob and Esau- and did it from a place of Harmony. Because he was trusting the process; he had enough to convince himself he was blessing Esau: but he was in Harmony knowing Jacob would continue to serve Hashem.

Interesting thoughts. What are yours?

May you have an amazing day of gratitude – and on this day when so much conflict can arise with family, May you be grounded internally in your harmony and project harmony into your day so that we can continue our journey of Tikkun Olam! Heal ourselves. And by doing so, we heal the world.

Torah thoughts for Heshvan 29, 5782

Yesterdays portion was kind of a cliff hanger because we left with Abimelech nervous about Isaac planting his family in Beer-Sheeba. How was Isaac going to respond?????

He made a feast for them. He welcomed Abimelech and honored the covenant Abraham made with him. They ate, they drank and then in the morning they swore an oath to each other!

On that same day? Isaac’s servants came and told him they found water in the well they were digging. Isaac named the well Shibah (oath) on that very day.

Takeaways from this for me;

1. Isaac saw the interconnectedness of what Hashem was doing. There were no coincidences. The day he swore an oath with Abimelech, the well his servants were digging hit water. Those seemingly unconnected events were connected. How often do we (I) miss things Hashem is doing and how they are connected? As an example from my family;
   1. My ex wife started working at ARC one year ago (2020) on November 2nd. I was given a job offer this year (2021) on November 2nd. The Torah portion on November 3rd was all about Isaac hearing from Hashem to not be afraid, and Isaac planting roots (pitching a tent, digging a well). I signed my paperwork on November 3rd. My ex wife signed paperwork for a promotion at work on November 3^rd (2021). Signing paperwork is similar to signing a covenant. Todays portion is about an oath. That’s not coincidence. That’s Affirmation of this being where we need to be! More to come on all of this; but after a really difficult 5780, and a spiritually affirming 5781, 5782 seemingly is the physical affirmation for our family’s provision. Hashem has been majorly blessing us and sending us messages that are very affirming! Baruch HaShem!
2. I had not realized that “digging a well” may not produce water. I’m chewing and reflecting on that. How often do we dig wells, looking for spiritual nourishment that don’t end up producing water? Yet we are called to continue digging wells. Sometimes if no water is found, you need to start digging other wells! What does this mean for us? What spiritual practices have you been struggling with? Could this be a message to dig a new well and find a different spiritual habit to develop to search for this water? Just something I’m chewing on.

A lot there, and we have a lot more to go!

We shift from Isaac’s story of planting roots in Beer Sheba, to Esau marrying Judith who was an idol worshipper. This caused distress for Isaac and Rebekah.

So. I find this interesting. Right after Hashem tells Isaac (I’m paraphrasing); “trust me. It will be ok. I’m going to bless you. Your descendants will be fruitful.” Right after forming a covenant with Abimelech. Right after finding water in the well. Boom! “Bad news – your son is marrying an idol worshipper!”

How often do we get a sense of spiritual enlightenment and confidence when all of a sudden something comes out of the blue to punch us in the gut? Hashem understands this. Our forefathers (AND FOREMOTHERS!) understand the pain in the middle of blessing. Does this make Hashem a liar?

No. It means we are free to make bad decisions, and I also think it means he works all this out for our (literal) good. Just an opinion here, I’d love your thoughts!

Moving forward; we now get to the part of the Torah many of us are familiar with; Isaac is old, and wants to bless Esau, Rebekah and Jacob hatch a plan so that Jacob gets the blessing and not Esau. Rebekah is a major figure in this plan; he here’s Isaac telling Esau what to do; Jacob isn’t there at the time. Rebekah intervenes and helps Jacob scheme Isaac to get the blessing.

One key passage here stands out for me today; verse 20 in chapter 27: “Isaac said to his son, “How did you find it so quickly, my son?” He said Because God, your God, brought it to me.”

Although Rebekah is the one who intervened, Jacob (disguised as Esau) attributes all of this to Hashem. Is he lying to manipulate his dad, or does he really believe this? Because soon after Isaac asks Jacob if he is Esau, and Jacob lies to his dad and says yes.

I’m really chewing on this. I would think lying about God is much worse than a lie you tell another Human. There was a purpose for Jacob telling his dad he was Esau. Do the ends justify the means? Obviously Hashem allowed the to happen; so the answer has to be yes. But it’s tough to swallow.

Another interesting tidbit here. There is Kabbalistic belief that Adam and Eve were reincarnated as Rebekah and Jacob to achieve “tikkun” (spiritual healing) for the sin of the tree of knowledge. Because Adam listening to Eve is what caused the issue in the Garden, healing comes with Jacob listening Rebekah to move Isaac’s blessing from the older to the younger.

An interesting thought for sure!

Some other context we might forget. Hashem actually spoke to Rebekah and told her that the Older would serve the younger. So she was acting here on orders from Hashem. And she had Jacob lie to protect Isaac from intentionally violating the practice of blessing the older son. She was at the center point here of making sure Hashem’s will was done.

Interesting passages today! What are your thoughts?