Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 1 Tammuz, 5784
Parsha Bukkat – “Suprarational command”: (Numbers 19:1 – 22:1)
First Portion: Numbers 19:1 – 19:17

Good morning! It is a new moon today – the new moon of Tammuz! We have a lot of things going on energetically. It’s a paradoxical month to be sure. Read more here.

Tammuz is the fourth month.

Nisan – the first month was all about the birth process – being led from slavery to freedom – the birth through the birth canal of the red sea.

Iyar – the second month was all about being reborn – learning to reorient and get our bearings. It was a special month where every day counted.

Sivan – the third month was about direction – we were given the Torah at Mt. Sinai on Shavuot. The end of the year Holy Day cycle came to a conclusion.  The next major Holy Days will be Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur – but it will be a little bit before we get there.

This brings us to Tammuz. We are feeling good. We’ve been reborn – we have direction. And now? We experience the beginning of the fall from grace.  The idea that even WITH all of the supernatural signs and wonders? We still lost faith.  We make our way to the month of Av – and one of the most solemn days on the calendar – Tisha B’Av.

Tammuz and Av were meant to be tremendous blessing – Moses and Hashem were partnering to bring the Mitzvahs (the ways to connect with Hashem) to the people – to write them in a way that would connect and have meaning.

On the 16^th of this month – the people expected Moses to return – but they miscalculated – they assumed Moses died. And FREAKED OUT.  The golden calf was made, and we begun our descent into darkness.

And. Within this? There is still hope. Tammuz is about growth and development. We have come a long way since the golden calf. We are learning each year to see better In this chaos around us – eyes that have attuned to Hashem. And how do they adjust? This week’s Torah portion teaches us! Let’s dig in!

This week we are studying “Hukkat” which means “suprarational command.”  What does this mean?  It means this: “Transcending the rational: based on or involving factors not to be comprehended by reason alone.”

Just sit with this. How much do we worship rationality?  The chaos of Tammuz is designed to show us how being rational may not always work.  “I don’t understand!” or “Make it make sense!” These are things that cause us stress and a struggle to understand.

This is where suprarationality comes into play.

This is the spirit we dig into today’s portion. Remembering we left off with the sacrifice and inheritance of the priests.

1The Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying:

2This is the statute of the Torah which the Lord commanded, saying, Speak to the children of Israel and have them take for you a perfectly red unblemished cow, upon which no yoke was laid.

Ok. Taking the red cow. Got it. So far, so good.

3And you shall give it to Eleazar the kohen, and he shall take it outside the camp and slaughter it in his presence.

4Eleazar the kohen shall take from its blood with his finger and sprinkle it toward the front of the Tent of Meeting seven times.

Um. Okayyyyy. Give it to Eleazar the priest. Kill the red cow and sprinkle blood seven times. Why?

No answer.

5The cow shall then be burned in his presence; its hide, its flesh, its blood, with its dung he shall burn it.

It all get’s burned up. Basically the cow is killed for sprinkling blood seven times. That’s it.

6The kohen shall take a piece of cedar wood, hyssop, and crimson wool, and cast them into the burning of the cow.

Um. Ok. This is starting to make less and less sense. Almost like a witches brew.

7The kohen shall wash his garments and bathe his flesh in water, and then he may enter the camp, and the kohen shall be unclean until evening.

8The one who burns it shall wash his clothes in water and cleanse his body in water, and he shall be unclean until evening.

So – the priest needs to wash, and go into the Mikveh. He can be in the camp – but is unclean until the sun sets and a new day has come.

9A ritually clean person shall gather the cow’s ashes and place them outside the camp in a clean place, and It shall be as a keepsake for the congregation of the children of Israel for sprinkling water, [used] for cleansing.

This is what made the cleansing “holy” water.

Interesting.

10The one who gathers the cow’s ashes shall wash his clothes, and he shall be unclean until evening. It shall be an everlasting statute for the children of Israel and for the proselyte who resides in their midst.

So basically the red cow was to set the cleansing water for death.

11Anyone touching the corpse of a human soul shall become unclean for seven days.

12On the third and seventh days, he shall cleanse himself with it, so that he can become clean. But if he does not sprinkle himself with it on the third and seventh days, he shall not become clean.

So. You touch the “corpse of a human soul” you become unclean.

I am sitting with this idea. The “corpse of a human soul.”

That doesn’t make sense does it? Isn’t the body what makes us human? The Torah is insinuating the soul is human. A human soul.

Our soul is human.

Sit with that.

Our body? Just a shell to house our soul. When we “die” the body is a corpse – of a human soul.  That is a game changing thought.

Let’s keep going:

13Whoever touches the corpse of a human soul which dies, and he does not cleanse himself, he has defiled the Mishkan of the Lord, and that soul shall be cut off from Israel. For the sprinkling water was not sprinkled on him, so he remains unclean, and his uncleanness remains upon him.

Our bodies are containers for our human soul. This seems clear. So if our human soul touches the corpse of a former human soul? We’ve contaminated our own body.  It’s no longer suitable for our human soul.

14This is the law: if a man dies in a tent, anyone entering the tent and anything in the tent shall be unclean for seven days.

15Any open vessel which has no seal fastened around it becomes unclean.

16Anyone who touches one slain by the sword, or a corpse, or a human bone or a grave, in an open field, he shall be unclean for seven days.

17They shall take for that unclean person from the ashes of the burnt purification offering, and it shall be placed in a vessel [filled] with spring water.

So this sort of makes sense, doesn’t it? If the human soul leaves the corpse, it will likely impact everything else around it as it leaves.

And this is a weird end of the portion, isn’t it? So basically someone who touches a slain person, a bone, they are unclean for seven days. “They” shall take “for that unclean person” the ashes and placed in a vessel with spring water.

So okayyyy. What happens next?  We shall see tomorrow!

My takeaway? Just another way we are learning “we don’t always need to know.”  We can be ok with not knowing and instead trusting.

What are your thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from the last two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 6 Tamuz, 5783

It’s a new week, and this week we have a DOUBLE portion!  We study Hukat and Balak this week.  Hukat as a parsha is REALLY interesting – it is all about this concept of the Suprarational Command.  These are mitzvahs that Hashem has given us where we don’t understand the “why?” They don’t always make sense.  This is the portion where the Red Heifer comes in.  The sacrifice of the red heifer isn’t something that makes a lot of sense. It seems random.

My takeaway is how often in life we get stuck on things that don’t make sense. In order to move on, we often need to know “why?”  If we don’t have a good answer to this question, we basically get stuck.  I mean, at least I do.  Learning to let go of this is a part of our healing journey.

And. I connect this with how our brains work. How we “fill in the gaps” of not understanding why.  We convince ourselves of why things happened – she broke up with me because I was unworthy – she broke up with me because she’s selfish.  But we don’t REALLY know why.

And sometimes.  SOMETIMES.  We do know why, but our brains can’t handle it – so we get stuck in NOT understanding why. We’ve been told why. But it doesn’t make sense to us.

• It could be because we can’t accept a reality different than what our brains have convinced ourselves of being true. We’ve been told why, but we can’t accept this explanation as being true.
• SOMETIMES it’s because the person telling us why isn’t self-aware enough to KNOW why they acted a certain way.
• SOMETIMES it’s because the person isn’t being honest with why.

When it comes to Hashem, we have to believe HE knows why he is asking us to do something. And we just aren’t meant to know.  We are just asked to trust.  How difficult is that?  It’s simple – but trusting Hashem and doing what we are called to do, even if we don’t understand it?  That’s scary.

How much more with our friends? Our family?  If we don’t understand the why, we can’t accept it.

Think about this when it comes to our trauma.  We repress our trauma because we don’t know WHY we experienced it.

• I’m a good person, why did I experience this trauma?
• This person who traumatized me – I believe they are a good person, why did their behaviors cause trauma?
• I need to know WHY I was traumatized!

I wrote about Post Traumatic Growth and Post Traumatic Resilience a few days ago.  I think Post Traumatic growth is connected with this idea of moving forward even when we DON’T know why.  Instead of waiting for an explanation to come. Closure to happen. Forgiveness to be sought.  The growth move is to say “I don’t need to know why.  I can be in this present moment – and let go of the question of why. I can keep walking forward and not get stuck at a point in time where I won’t move until I get what I want.”

This is healing. This is growth.  And this (in my opinion) is the lesson of the Red Heifer. We worship Hashem sometimes in a certain way ONLY BECAUSE he asked us to.  He doesn’t tell us why.  Can we do this? Or will we get stuck?

Now. I need to close with a caveat.  Hashem and the Torah asking us to do something without an explanation? That’s one thing.  A friend, spouse, partner?  That’s another. We are sovereign.  We can choose. We can choose to give our sovereignty to Hashem and do things because he asked us without us understanding them.  Or we can choose NOT to give our sovereignty to Him because we don’t.  That is a choice we make.

With someone else – it is the same choice.  Who we choose to give our sovereignty to. If anyone. Because maybe we are ONLY meant to give our sovereignty to Hashem.

Either way – the choice is ours.  It is much easier to make a choice knowing why. Sometimes in life, we must choose without knowing why.  And move forward anyways.

Let me know your thoughts.

TL:DR – “Post Traumatic Growth and Post Traumatic Resilience seem to be connected to letting go of focusing on understanding why trauma happened to us and instead feel the trauma, let it work through our hearts, and then release it so we can be free.  We don’t always need to know why. We won’t always get to know why.”

This seems important. What do you think?

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 4 Tamuz, 5782

Good afternoon! I’m a little late getting my thoughts out; but it has been a very reflective morning.

Today we start a new Parsha – Parsha Hukat which means “Suprarational Command”

Remember we have discussed rational and suprarational commands prior. The suprarational commands are ones we don’t understand.

We start the portion talking about the Red Heiffer.

God tells Moses that what He is about to tell Moses to relay to the children of Israel isn’t going to make sense.

And I have to stop for a moment and consider as a dad, there are moment I have to tell my kids; “this isn’t going to make sense, but I need you to do it.” And how there is both intention and trust required in that moment.

And God tells Moses to have them bring a red heifer without blemish and that has never had a yoke placed on it to Eleazar the priest. He would take it outside the camp and slaughter it.

Then Eleazar should take some of its blood with his finger and sprinkle it towards the front of the tent of meeting seven times.

Then the cow should be burned in his presence.

So far; seems relatively standard.

But here’s where it gets a smidge weird:

The priest should take a piece of cedar wood, hyssop and crimson will and cast them into the burning cow.

Okaaaayyyy.

Then, the priest should immerse his garments and wash his body in the water of a ritual pool. He will remain impure until evening and then he can go back into the camp.

The person who burns the cow (it didn’t have to be the priest) should do the same as the priest.

Then a ritually pure person should gather the cows ashes and divide them into three portions. One portion stays in the temple, another goes on the mount of Olives outside the camp in a ritually pure place and the third should Be placed just outside the wall of the temple courtyard as a secure reminder for the congregation of the children of Israel

The ashes are to be added to the sprinkling water used for ritual purification.

After gathering the ashes, the ritually pure person should Immerse his clothes in a ritual pool and he will remain impure until evening

This is an everlasting law both for the Children of Israel and the convert who lives with them.

I Want to stop here. There is more in the portion, but we can cover that tomorrow.

So many questions.

But something i want to share that has been prevalent for me, that I think this portion confirms.

The hard part of suprarational commands is not knowing “why?” We know “how?” and we know “what?” How often in life do we (I) get stuck knowing how and what, but not being willing to move forward without knowing why?

I often struggle with “why is this person acting in such a way?” “Why are they making these decisions?”

It’s really not very fruitful to focus on that because we won’t always know why. They may not know why.

But we CAN ask ourselves “how are they acting and how is it impacting me?” And “how can I navigate these actions and behaviors and their impact on me?” THOSE questions are much more productive! Especially when we start recognizing the patterns.

And. We can do this with ourselves. I struggle to figure out “why” I’m acting a certain way. I tend to over analyze and overthink it. Sometimes it’s helpful, but more often “how am I acting?” Is more fruitful of an analysis.

This is what I am sitting with in the story of the red heifer.

What are your thoughts?