Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 6 Tammuz, 5784
Parsha Bukkat – “Suprarational command”: (Numbers 19:1 – 22:1)
Sixth Portion: Numbers 21:10 – 21:20

Good morning! As we prepare for the sabbath tonight, let’s focus on our rest. What is something we can do for ourselves this weekend that will communicate we see ourselves and what we need? Is it a bubble bath? Is it destroying clay pots from the dollar store? Is it writing in our anger journals? Is it watching a movie that will make us cry? Is it running? Is it celebrating victories from our week?

Whatever it is? Let’s do something kind and tender for US this weekend!

Let’s focus on the Torah portion today.  We left off yesterday – as we approached this second mountain.  We’ve moved from navigating our cravings, then camping and dealing with our ego, then navigating our fear by digging into courage and sacrificing things we need to let go of, to finally seeing the high priest who got us this far passing away – and navigating our grief and mourning.

I think there was one more thing I missed.  The snakes. I spoke yesterday the snakes represented a transition – things we once held as “negative” now being seen as a “positive.”

But what I missed? The end of this?  Healing. The snakes were the “final” piece – because it was healing.

So. The journey so far:

• Camp 1: Navigating our cravings
• Camp 2: Navigating our Ego
• Camp 3: Navigating our Fear (through courage and sacrifice)
• Camp 4: Navigating our Grief (through mourning) for the purpose of healing.

Four camps. Which one are we in today?

Let’s dig in:

10The children of Israel journeyed on and camped in Oboth.

11They journeyed from Oboth and camped in the wasteland passes in the wilderness, which faced Moab, toward the rising sun.

12From there they journeyed, and they encamped along the stream of Zered.

13From there they journeyed, and they encamped on the other side of the Arnon, which was in the desert, extending from the Amorite border, for Arnon was the Moabite border between Moab and the Amorites.

So it is interesting so far, isn’t it? We went through this journey before and each stop there seemed to be a lesson.  Now we are going again – Oboth, Wasteland passes, Zered, Arnon.

Four camps.

Let’s keep going:

14Concerning this it is told in the account of the Wars of the Lord, “What He gave at the [Sea of] Reeds and the streams of Arnon.

The account of the “Wars of the Lord?”  What is that?

I am not sure I have a good answer.

But the sea of reeds? He gave freedom – that is where they passed through from slavery to freedom.

If there are four camps, and Arnon is the final of the fourth camp? This would indicate a connection between grief and freedom. The path to freedom is through our grief. It’s the path of healing. Let’s keep going:

15And the spilling of the streams that turned to settle at Ar and leaned toward the border of Moab.

“Spilling of the streams” also indicates loss to me. This seems to fit with the idea that freedom is through our grief. Especially given Pharaoh’s resistance to grief – and his demise.

16From there to the well; that is the well of which the Lord said to Moses, ‘Gather the people, and I will give them water.'”

Grief is what brings us to the well. The water that nourishes us. Grief. Grief is freedom.  And our response?

17Then Israel sang this song: “‘Ascend, O well,’ sing to it!

18A well dug by princes, carved out by nobles of the people, through the lawgiver with their staffs, and from the desert, a gift.

19From the gift, to the streams, and from the streams to the heights.

20From the heights to the valley in the field of Moab, at the top of the peak, that overlooks the wastelands.”

Part of me ALSO wonders – does the well represent tears?  The water that comes from within? Tears are the way our bodies NOURISH the external world if you think about it.  When we resist tears, we withhold our nourishment.

We tell each other to hydrate!  Take water in.  And. When our bodies give water back? We don’t take much notice.

I am reflecting on this as I drink my coffee this morning.  You?

Here are my thoughts from two years ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 9 Tamuz, 5782

So we left off yesterday with the children of Israel complaining again and then being hurt and then healed by the snake. Today, we see Israel moving and traveling – going to Oboth.

Then they moved from Oboth to Iye-abarim in the wilderness between Moab and the land of the Amorites to the east where the sun rises.

Then they moved to the Zered Brook and camped there.

Then they travelled and camped on the other side of the Arnon Brook which is in the desert – extending from the Amorite border. The Torah tells us the Arnon Brook was the Moabite border between Moab and the Amorites.

This was a miraculous encampment according to Torah.

The Torah tells us the miracles that happened at this camp were on the same level as the Sea of Reeds that God split. This is the miracle:

(Numbers 21:15-16) The blood of the Amorites was spilling into the valleys when the mountain actually moved, crushing the Amorites and it turned to settle at Ar, leaning against the border of Moab. From there, the blood flowed to the well so the Jewish people could see the victory. That is the well that God said to Moses “Gather the people and I will give them water.”

Let’s stop here. In our journey from slavery to freedom, the first thing I pick up from today’s portion so far; we are going to do a lot of traveling – EVEN AFTER being “freed” from the bondage of slavery in Egypt. It’s a tough long process. Lots of starting. Lots of stopping. Lots of camping. Many times, it will likely be boring and uneventful. But other times? We will see miracles! And yet, we are still on the journey. We haven’t yet reached that promised land of freedom.

That’s something I’m reflecting on. Especially in this month of Tamuz; where we are being asked to see light within the darkness.

Back to the Torah;

When the Jews saw the well fill with blood, they sang a song:

O well, arise from the valley! Raise your voices in song to it!

A well dug by ministers, carved out by Moses and Aaron, nobles of the people, through the lawgiver, with their staffs, from the desert, they received the well as a gift!

From the time they received this gift, it went down with them to the streams and from the streams it went up with them to the heights!

From the heights to the valley in the field of Moab, at the top of the summit that overlooks the wastelands!

What an ending to the passage!

The miracle here is that the people saw God’s faithfulness and recognized He was with them in the lowest valleys and highest mountains of their journey.

On our journey towards freedom, do we ONLY see God in the heights? In the joy? In the deliverance? Or do we also see him in the valleys? In the sadness? In the anger? And the struggle?

Or, vice versa? Do we only see and count on God in the valleys? In our sadness? In our anger? In our struggle? Or do we ALSO see Him in the heights? In the joy? In the deliverance? In the comfort?

Sometimes we get stuck and camp in a place where it’s just restful. We move emotionally, physically, spiritually – but the camp was just a place of rest.

In other places we get stuck, we camp and see miracles? We do the work and recognize we aren’t alone! Hashem is with us when we experience the highs and lows of our wilderness; because we are no longer slaves, and yet we are also not fully liberated in the promised land!

This may be the entire point of the Torah. That may be a bold statement – but as I think about it; the Torah is all about the struggle from slavery to freedom. Our personal stories, our current experiences lead me to believe all of us are stuck. We aren’t quite slaves, but neither are we liberated. We may be slaves to the idea of Hubris and ego; to a system grounded in trying to convince us we are actually free. But we aren’t liberated. Not yet.

What are your thoughts?