Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 16 Cheshvan, 5785

Today we have a new parsha! The Life of Sarah begins with the end. How much was Sarah’s life worth?

In reading it this year? I see something new.

Earning something vs being given it.

The people wanted to GIVE Abraham the plot of land as a gift. Abraham likely knew that if he never paid for the land, it would not be his. Yes, it would have been a gift. However, Abraham wanted to make sure the land NEVER left his family. So he fought HARD to pay for it.

There are some things worth receiving as a gift. There are others we need to pay for it with. It’s both/and.

We talk a lot in our culture about the idea of “earning” something vs. being “given” it. Here, Abraham wanted to earn the plot of land.

There is an idea here I am reflecting on – when someone gives us a gift? It is REALLY ours? Or do we worry the gift can be taken away from us?

I have earned a lot in my life through the healing of past trauma. No one can take that away from me. I’ve earned it.

There are things I’ve been given – moments I didn’t control or create. Things that seemed rough at the time, but after a period of time I look back and see the gift in those moments.

There is a duality here.  When I reflect on the moments that were a gift? I wonder whether there will be gifts in the future. I believe I can earn those moments – but will they be given?

The idea of earning and gifting? We don’t contemplate this often, do we?

What about you? What are your thoughts on earning vs being gifted?

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 21 Cheshvan, 5784
Parsha Hayyei Sarah: (Genesis 23:1 -25:18) 
First Portion: Genesis 23:1 – 23:16

Good morning! It’s a new week and new portion. We have Hayyei Sarah – the Life of Sarah.  Judaism is often seen as a Patriarchal religion.  There is a TON of deference to women though – and they are valued in the Torah from what I see.  Let’s dig in!

1And the life of Sarah was one hundred years and twenty years and seven years; [these were] the years of the life of Sarah.

2And Sarah died in Kiriath arba, which is Hebron, in the land of Canaan, and Abraham came to eulogize Sarah and to bewail her.

Straight out of a Quentin Tarantino movie – we start the Life of Sarah with the end. To be fair, we already know a TON about Sarah’s life in the Torah. It is interesting we get this portion now.

3And Abraham arose from before his dead, and he spoke to the sons of Heth, saying,

4″I am a stranger and an inhabitant with you. Give me burial property with you, so that I may bury my dead from before me.”

5And the sons of Heth answered Abraham, saying to him,

6″Listen to us, my lord; you are a prince of God in our midst; in the choicest of our graves bury your dead. None of us will withhold his grave from you to bury your dead.”

7And Abraham arose and prostrated himself to the people of the land, to the sons of Heth.

8And he spoke with them, saying, “If it is your will that I bury my dead from before me, listen to me and entreat for me to Ephron the son of Zohar.

9That he may give me the Machpelah (double) Cave, which belongs to him, which is at the end of his field; for a full price let him give it to me in your midst for burial property.”

Here’s what I notice here. Abraham is about to get into an argument with the people. On the value of the grave of Sarah.  Abraham wants to pay full price. The people want to gift it to him. I am reminded of the story on Friday of Abraham purchasing the well from Abimelech.  Some things are just worth paying for. Sarah’s body was one of them in Abraham’s mind. This is crucial. Abraham valued Sarah’s life. He valued her death. He wasn’t going to accept a free plot.  Was he?  Let’s keep reading:

10Now Ephron was sitting in the midst of the sons of Heth, and Ephron the Hittite answered Abraham in the hearing of the sons of Heth, of all those who had come into the gate of his city, saying,

11″No, my lord, listen to me. I have given you the field, and the cave that is in it, I have given it to you. Before the eyes of the sons of my people, I have given it to you; bury your dead.”

12And Abraham prostrated himself before the people of the land.

13And he spoke to Ephron in the hearing of the people of the land, saying, “But, if only you would listen to me. I am giving the money for the field; take [it] from me, and I will bury my dead there.”

14And Ephron replied to Abraham, saying to him,

15″My lord, listen to me; a [piece of] land worth four hundred shekels of silver, what is it between me and you? Bury your dead.”

16And Abraham listened to Ephron, and Abraham weighed out to Ephron the silver that he had named in the hearing of the sons of Heth, four hundred shekels of silver, accepted by the merchant.

This first portion of “The Life of Sarah?”  All about how much her death was worth paying for. Abraham was unwilling to bury her for free. He paid the price. She was worth it.  That is how this begins.

And I reflect. What is the takeaway for us? For me? It’s thinking ahead.  At the end of my life – would someone say “his life is worth paying to bury?”  Have I impacted anyone to pay to bury me?

And it isn’t about how I impact anyone else -it’s really how I’ve impacted myself, isn’t it?  Would I get to the end of my life and believe I would pay the price to bury myself?  Or would I accept a free plot of land to be buried in? What is MY worth? What provides me the data to determine my worth?

These are the questions to ask ourselves as we begin this new week! I’d love your thoughts!