Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 1 Av, 5784
Parsha Devarim – “Words”: (Deuteronomy 1:1 – 3:22)
Second Portion: Deuteronomy 1:12 – 1:21

Good morning! We have reached the new moon. The fullness of the mourning period is upon us. The energy in our lives right now is asking us – begging us – to let go of the past.

This moon cycle of Av is a challenge.  The word “Av” means “father.”  For me personally, that brings up all sorts of emotions and feelings. Chabad does a great job explaining the month here: Chabad Month of Av

One of the first things they share is how it is customary to add the word “Menachem” to the month – Menachem Av. Menachem means comforter. Consoler.

You see what happened at the beginning of Av has not been fantastic for our people.  Here is a quote from the website:

“In this month, both Temples were destroyed and many other tragedies occurred. Yet our Father in heaven is there to comfort and console us.”

It is a good reminder that even if we judge a moment to be “bad” Hashem is working it out for our “good.”  Every moment exists for our good. Sometimes that is revealed in a moment.  Sometimes, we need to wait to see how it will be good.

As we leave Tamuz – where the light and dark were integrated, Av is different in that we will be asked to use our lenses to fully see in the darkness until the 9th of Av.

This relates to our Torah portion.  Deuteronomy continues to be a reflection.  A time to reflect before turning the page of our lives.

In this darkness? We are asked to let go of all of the things that helped us to survive our trauma and past. We are likely heading to a period of being “demoralized.” If you are feeling this way? It is connected to the energy.

Mark Nepo writes in “The Book of Awakening” the lesson of the chick being born. He starts out with this quote:  “Every crack is also an opening.”

He goes on to discuss the idea of a chick being born from it’s shell:

From the view of the chick, it is a terrifying struggle. Confined and curled in a dark shell, half formed, the chick eats all its food and stretches to the contours of its shell. It begins to feel hungry and cramped. Eventually the chick begins to starve and feels suffocated by the ever-shrinking space of its world.

Finally, its own growth begins to crack the shell, and the world as the chick knows it is coming to an end. It’s sky is falling. As the chick wriggles through the cracks, it begins to eat its shell. In that moment – growing but fragile, starving and cramped, its world breaking – the chick must feel like it is dying. Yet once everything it has relied on falls away, the chick is born. It doesn’t die, but falls into the world.”

If we are going to grow and transform and move on this journey of life? We are going to become demoralized. I wrote this last year, and I feel it is profound:

Demoralization comes from expecting the moments coming our way to do something internally for us.  Instead of trusting the moments coming our way to bring us to our intents.

Mark Nepo closes his portion today with this:

The chick offers us the wisdom that the way to be born while still alive is to eat our own shell. When faced with great change – in self, in relationship, in our sense of calling – we somehow must take in all that has enclosed us, nurtured us, incubated us, so when the new life is upon us, the old is within us. (end quote)

Eat and consume what was behind us. We are free in the moment to choose a new path.

Let’s dig in as we navigate the 9 days ahead of us – almost like a birthing process. The dark tunnel of the birth canal. It’s going to be painful and connective. But at the end? We will see the light of a new life ahead!

12How can I bear your trouble, your burden, and your strife all by myself?

Moses is telling the people. I see your struggle. And I can’t do this alone. We’ve got to come together. We have to be in community.

13Prepare for yourselves wise and understanding men, known among your tribes, and I will make them heads over you.

14And you answered me and said, ‘The thing you have spoken is good for us to do.’

The people knew. This wasn’t a political discussion. This was choosing someone who could “hold space” for trouble, burden, and strife. The intersection of wisdom and understanding – which in Kabbalah is knowledge. True knowledge in the way Adam knew Chavah (we know her as Eve). And this is a profound idea:

Do we choose leaders who can hold space for (i.e bear) our trouble, burden and strife? Or do we choose leaders we think can “fix” our trouble, burden and strife?

Let me say this again.

Do we choose leaders who can hold space (bear) our trouble, burden and strife? Or do we choose leaders we think can “fix” our trouble, burden and strife?

And – do we DO THIS in our relationships? Do we choose FRIENDS who can hold space for us, or do we choose friends who can fix our trouble, burden and strife?

And. What kind of friend am I? Am I a friend who wants to fix problems? Or can I hold space for people in their trouble, burden and strife?

These are critical reflecting thoughts. Let’s keep going:

15So I took the heads of your tribes, men wise and well known, and I made them heads over you, leaders over thousands, leaders over hundreds, leaders over fifties, and leaders over tens, and officers, over your tribes.

16And I commanded your judges at that time, saying, “Hear [disputes] between your brothers and judge justly between a man and his brother, and between his litigant.

17You shall not favor persons in judgment; [rather] you shall hear the small just as the great; you shall not fear any man, for the judgment is upon the Lord, and the case that is too difficult for you, bring to me, and I will hear it.”

18And I commanded you at that time all the things you should do.

Judges weren’t there to “fix” situations – they were there to be compassionate. Find a way to hold space for both in the conflict to work towards solutions. With love.

19And we journeyed from Horeb and went through all that great and fearful desert, which you saw, by the way of the mountain of the Amorites, as the Lord, our God, commanded us; and we came up to Kadesh barnea.

20And I said to you, “You have come to the mountain of the Amorites, which the Lord, our God, is giving us.

21Behold, the Lord, your God, has set the land before you; go up and possess it, as the Lord, God of your fathers has spoken to you; you shall neither fear nor be dismayed.”

We don’t need to be afraid.

So many profound lessons in this first day of Av. Which one will you take with you as the moments arrive?

Here are my thoughts from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 28 Tamuz, 5783

As we enter this week – where the new moon of Av begins on Tuesday night, it’s time to reflect and set intentions.  We are almost halfway through this period of Tamuz/Av – which is about learning to “see in the darkness.”  Tamuz was a mix of Shadow and light – all happening at the same time in the same moment.  Av will be a little different as the shadow continues as a constant until the 9th of Av, which will then turn towards the light and become fully illuminated on the 15 of Av – which is a special day – like the Jewish Valentine’s Day – which will happen at sundown on August 1st.

Tomorrow we will talk more about the month of Av – and the challenging things that happened during that month.  It is important not to be afraid of Av – that is not the purpose of the shadow and darkness.  We do not need to be afraid of the new moon – because the moon is STILL shining, even though we cannot see it!

As Jews, we do believe that everything that happens is for our good – sometimes that is revealed in a moment – sometimes it’s a later good we cannot see yet.  May this week be more seeing in the darkness for us as we journey to together in this final book of the Torah.

Let’s dig in.

I want to focus on the last line of today’s shorter portion.

Deuteronomy 1:21 says this: “Look! God, your God, has put the land (into your hands) before you! (all you have to do is) go and take possession of it, as God, the God of your fathers, has told you! Don’t be afraid or demoralized!”

I want to focus on the word demoralized.  Its a word we don’t often think about or talk about, yet I would argue a lot of us tend to experience and/or feel.

The word demoralized means “having lost confidence or hope; disheartened.”

How many of us have gone through periods of being disheartened?

One of the things I am realizing is how much my own feelings of demoralization center around being stuck on a future I have been unwilling to let go of, for the possibility of a future that may be for my good.  I cling to the idea of a future I believe will somehow make me happy.   Whether it is a career, job, or relationship; including the relationship I have with my own children; I can feel demoralized when it exists in a moment where it is not what I desire and expect.

This morning I heard someone share about the idea of intent vs expect. What do we intend to do with our moments, instead of what do we expect the moments to do for us?

Demoralization comes from expecting the moments coming our way to do something internally for us.  Instead of trusting the moments coming our way to bring us to our intents.

Consider the land we are entering to be connected to the intents we set.  Every new moon, we are called to set new intents for the next moon cycle. Here are mine:

• Abundance
• Harmony
• Ease
• Creativity

And what I want to leave behind:

• Guilt
• Shame
• Malevolence
• Toxicity

And in these intents, I can trust I can move forward in each moment, and bring these intents with me – and I will “take possession” of them.  That is the message of the Torah today.  Don’t get caught up like the spies did – this is the rebuke of Moses.  The spies thought about the future in a way that Hashem did not give them what He had promised. And that is what they received.

Our internal reality drives the external one.  That doesn’t mean we are God.  It just is a reminder that Hashem exists all around us – and – INSIDE of us.

Those are my thoughts.  What are yours?

Here is my commentary from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 4 Av, 5782

Saturday evening, I was driving home late from a class and I could see the first sliver of the moon after the new moon. It was gorgeous. I wish I had stopped to get a picture.

It is an amazing picture of light in darkness. Even the sliver of the moon that the sun is shining on is able to create light in the darkness. It was a sight to behold and brought me great comfort in hopes that we will come through the darkness of the three weeks between 17 Tamuz and 9 Av in a manner that brings us to the full moon on the 15 of Av is a way that is joyous and happy and celebratory!

Let’s dig into today’s portion!

Moses has been rebuking Israel as they get ready to enter the promised land. He started with the idea that Israel required judges to be appointed. Moses couldn’t do it on their own, and the people couldn’t figure out how to settle their disagreements without bringing in judges.

After this, Moses moves on to rebuke the Israelites for the incident with the spies. The portion today ends with the landscape in which the spies became problematic. Moses brought them out to Kadesh Barnea and showed them the land. Moses reminded them that he told them that God has put the land before them, all they needed to do is go and take possession of it. He told them not to be afraid or demoralized.

It is interesting to me here; I am learning about “the law of attraction” which is controversial as a concept. But as a philosophy, it is something that connects here (at least for me). Moses was telling the people – this is yours. It belongs to you. Don’t doubt yourself. Just go and get it. It’s almost as if he was communicating this idea that if you believe it; you will have it.

Now the difference for Moses is that he heard from Hashem. He knew this is what Hashem wanted for the people. But it is interesting here how the Torah phrases it.

What do you think?