1 Iyar, 5783. 16th Day of the Omer

on April 22, 2023

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 1 Iyar, 5783

Rosh Chodesh!

16th Day of the Omer!

Shabbat shalom!

First let’s talk Rosh Chodesh. The month of Iyar is a time for healing. This moon cycle is all about the healing in our lives and the lives around us.

Iyar is the connective tissue between Nisan and Sivan. Between Passover and Shavuot. Between Freedom and Direction. Between Chaos and Order. Iyar is in both camps.

We just left Egypt. We have achieved the freedom Passover brings. We have left the “narrow straight.” We are now counting the day to the giving of the Torah. What will we do with this freedom? Will we be disciplined to count our days towards the giving of Torah and order? Or will we use our freedom to go our own way? To descend into chaos?

This seems to be what hangs in the balance this month. And. What is beautiful about this? There is restoration if we decide to go our own direction.

The 14th day of the month of iyar brings “the second passover.” It is one of the beautiful stories in the Torah. Often times people see the torah and the “old testament” as a demonstration of Hashem’s harshness. But the second passover of Iyar is a story of grace and mercy.

The quick version of the story is that people we ritually impure during the first passover. They could not celebrate it. And they were upset. Mind you, they were not ritually impure because of anything more than they were hunting for provisions and had touched dead animals. Moses consulted with Hashem, and this second opportunity to celebrate passover was birthed. This is the month of second chances. That is amazing. Grace. Kindness. Compassion.

Let’s dig into the Omer!

Today is the 16th Day of the Omer. The them is “Gevurah of Tiferet” or “Discipline of Compassion.”

From Chabad:

For compassion to be effective and healthy it needs to be disciplined and focused. It requires discretion both to whom you express compassion, and in the measure of the compassion itself. It is recognizing when compassion should be expressed and when it should be withheld or limited. Discipline in compassion is knowing that being truly compassionate sometimes requires withholding compassion. Because compassion is not an expression of the bestower’s needs but a response to the recipient’s needs. Am I more compassionate with strangers than with close ones? If yes, why? Is the compassion coming from guilt? Does my compassion for others compromise my own needs? Am I helping others at the expense of helping myself? Perhaps the contrary is the case: Does my compassion for my family and close ones overshadow others needs? Is my compassion impulsive and careless? Do I assess the measure of compassion necessary for a given situation? Is it commensurate with the recipient’s needs? Can I possibly be hurting him with my compassion? Does my compassion overwhelm others? Is it respectful? Do I give too much or too little? Do others take advantage of my compassionate nature? When I see a needy person do I impetuously express compassion out of guilt or pity without any discretion? Do I commit the “crime” of compassion by helping him with something harmful (give him money to buy a harmful substance etc.)? Do I apply myself to determine this person’s needs and help him in the best way possible?

Exercise for the day: Express your compassion in a focused and constructive manner by addressing someone’s specific needs.

Here are some critical questions to ask ourselves, given that compassion is not an expression of the bestower’s needs but a response to the recipient’s needs.

Am I more compassionate with strangers than with close ones?
- If yes, why?
Is the compassion coming from guilt?
Does my compassion for others compromise my own needs?
Am I helping others at the expense of helping myself?

Perhaps the contrary is the case:

Does my compassion for my family and close ones overshadow others needs?
Is my compassion impulsive and careless?
Do I assess the measure of compassion necessary for a given situation?
Is it commensurate with the recipient’s needs?
Can I possibly be hurting him with my compassion?
Does my compassion overwhelm others?
Is it respectful?
Do I give too much or too little?
Do others take advantage of my compassionate nature?
When I see a needy person do I impetuously express compassion out of guilt or pity without any discretion?
Do I commit the “crime” of compassion by helping him with something harmful (give him money to buy a harmful substance etc.)?
Do I apply myself to determine this person’s needs and help him in the best way possible?

These are tough questions, if we are honest. Is our compassion motivated by love? Or is it a selfish compassion?

And it’s interesting right? Today’s closing out of the parsha deals with sex and purity. Sex is connected to creation. If we are working to create love, how does our compassion manifest? What is the root? Is it self and ego? Or is it truly about the other? And what is the connective tissue between the self and the other? Is there anything? What is the self and other are one in the same? These are the questions I am reflecting on this Shabbat. How about you?

Here is the commentary from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts For 7 Nisan, 5782

Let’s continue our journey of the reproductive system, shall we?

Todays portion starts off with the idea of the ritual impurity of seminal emissions:

Hashem tells Moses and Aaron; if a man has an emission of semen, he should immerse all his body in the mikveh. He will remain ritually impure until evening.

Any garment or leather object which has semen on it should be immersed in the mikveh and will remain ritually impure until evening.

If a woman will lie with a man and he will have a seminal emission, they should immerse themselves in a Mikveh and they will remain ritually impure until evening.

So let’s stop for a moment. It would seem to me, reading these verses; that masturbation is treated similarly as sex between a man and a woman is. Masturbation seems to be one of those topics of debate, and there are other passages that weigh in on it. But it does seem in terms of the concepts of “ritual impurity” the idea of a dude having a seminal emission and the idea of a dude having a seminal emission with a woman is treated the same.

Food for thought.

Next we move to a woman’s menstruation.

Hashem tells Moses and Aaron; if a woman has a menstrual discharge, and the discharge is blood, she will remain in a state of niddah (physical separation) for seven days.

Whoever touches her will become ritually impure until evening.

Why does the Torah say that a menstruating woman is forbidden to her husband for seven days?

The Talmud puts it this way:

“In order to strengthen their marriage. If he were to be allowed to be with his wife whenever he desired, he would become disenchanted with her. Therefore the Torah says, let her become forbidden to him for seven days, and that will renew and invigorate his love for her as strong as it was when they first were married.”

This is an interesting thought and concept. What do you think?

Getting back to the portion:

While in niddah; whatever the woman sleeps on or sits on becomes ritually impure. Anyone who touches the bedding or an object she sits on should immerse their garments and themselves in the mikveh. They will remain impure until evening.

There is a small exception; riding gear. If someone touches riding gear she has used, he will become ritually impure until evening – but does not have to immerse in the mikveh.

Ok. So what happens if a husband lies with his menstruating wife?

Hashem says basically the husband takes her menstruation on himself and he becomes niddah – impure for seven days. The same rules about bedding would apply to him.

The Torah EVEN discusses abnormal menstruation.

The same rules apply – if it isn’t normal menstruation, she needs to count seven “clean” days before immersing herself in the mikveh to become ritually pure.

Fascinating.

What are your thoughts on the Torah’s sex education here?

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 8 Nissan, 5782

Shabbat Shalom!!! I hope this day is restful for us! Let’s dig into the end of this week’s Parsha!

We close the parsha (which has mostly been about the reproductive systems of men and women) with a closing of the idea around women’s menstruation. We learned yesterday about what should happen when a woman experiences an “abnormal” menstruation- basically needing to count 7 clean days before she can become ritually pure.

Someone was having a conversation with me about the idea of “pure” and “impure” in this weeks Parsha, and it is important to remember that The Torah does NOT call us “pure” and “impure” as humans. This is all a matter of RITUAL “impurity.” We have to ask ourselves; what does Ritual Purity mean? And what doesn’t it mean? I’ll confess I don’t have great answers to this. I will say it seems to be connected to how our soul connects to Hashem more than anything else. It’s a window into where our essence is in relation to our Neshama and Hashem. And, there are things WE do that cause us to be separated (ritually impure) and there are things that happen naturally (as we have been studying this week) that cause us to be separated. The idea of separation isn’t that it is “bad” – the idea of separation is it serves a function – to bring us BACK into restored relationship. Like any healthy relationships; they ebb and flow; it makes sense with Hashem, our relationship would also ebb (ritual impurity) and flow (ritual purity).

There was an interesting article here that discusses this concept: https://www.chabad.org/…/On-the-Essence-of-Ritual…

And the idea is around what is the purpose of ritual impurity. The TL:DR version of this centers around the idea that we have to “go down” in order to “come up.” So the further down you go, the higher up you’ll come! It’s an interesting concept.

So let’s dig into the final part of the parsha;

After seven days of being “clear” on the eighth day, the woman should take two turtledoves or two young doves and bring them to the priest to sacrifice – just as we have been reading all week. At that point her discharges will be atoned for, bringing her back into connection with Hashem.

And we close with a reminder; all of this idea of “ritual impurity” really is about the tabernacle. Because God tells Moses and Aaron; “You should ensure that the children of Israel are dissociated from their ritual Impurity, so that their ritual impurity does not cause them to die IF THEY DEFILE MY TABERNACLE that I have placed among them.” I CAPITALIZED the crucial part here. All of this was about defiling the Tabernacle. If someone entered the tabernacle while ritually impure, they would die.

One takeaway from this (for me) is that it SEEMS that women had access to the Tabernacle. Otherwise, why would their need to be laws of ritual purity when it comes to women? So I extrapolate here that women did indeed have access to the holy places. Just like the men.

What are your thoughts? As always each Shabbat, my Haftorah thoughts will be in the comments below.

Todays Haftorah is from 2 Kings 7:3-20

It relates the account of “four Tzara’at suffers.”

The context of the passage is that it takes place during the siege of Samaria by King Ben-Hadad of Aram. This caused a famine, and even drove people to cannibalism (2 Kings 6:24-29). The king blamed Elisha the prophet who had stopped famine with his prayers in the past. When confronted, (a messenger was sent to kill Elisha) Elisha tells the messenger “relax, chill, food will be freely available at this time tomorrow.” The messenger didn’t believe him, but Elisha told him “not only will this happen, you don’t get to eat it!” (Paraphrasing)

So this is the context for the story of the four Tzara’at suffers sitting at the city gate.

These four said to each other “why should we sit here until we die of hunger?” They told each other basically, no matter what we do, we are going to die. They decide they are going to the enemy camp; where there was food. If the Arameans kill them, oh well – they don’t lose, because they would be dead if they remain. If the Arameans let them live, then they will live. It’s a no lose proposition!

So they went to the enemy camp.

What happens next is amazing.

When they get to the camp, no one was there.

Wait. What?

Yea. No one was there; because Hashem was ALREADY working behind the scenes. He caused the Arameans to believe they heard the sounds of chariots and horses; the sound of a great army. The Arameans thought the Hittite Kings and Egyptian Kings were hired by the King of Israel to attack them. So they fled.

The Tzara’at sufferers went into the camp and into the tents and ate and drank, took silver and gold and clothing. They went and hid it, came back and did it again in another tent.

But then they realized – this wasn’t right. They said to one another “today is a day of good news and we are being silent! If we wait until the morning, the king will find out and we will be guilty of withholding good news! We need to tell the king at once!”

So – that is an important lesson here. When we get good news; do we hoard it for ourselves, or do we share it with others? That’s something to reflect on.

So; they go back and tell the gatekeepers and it gets all the way up to the king. The king wakes up in the middle of the night, and his perspective is a little different.

He sees it as a trap. He believes The Arameans are plotting that once the Jews leave the town looking for food, the Arameans will take them alive and enter the town.

The servants advised sending five horses and riders to investigate – because if it’s a trap, and they die sooner, oh well; they were already going to die. But the king only sent two horses to investigate.

They followed the Arameans to the Jordan River and basically found the entire road covered with clothing and utensils which the Arameans had thrown away in haste so they could get away quickly.

Now; Elisha had ALREADY told the king this was going to happen. And yet the king STILL didn’t believe. But even with that doubt, the King in his due diligence was given the data to confirm what he should have believed by faith.

That’s comforting. Our faith is crucial. But we aren’t punished by investigating beyond our faith.

Now the king sent the messenger to kill Elisha (who the king relied on and trusted) was placed in charge of the gate.

Well, when word got out there was food, you can imagine what happened. The messenger got trampled to death; as Elisha had said.

Wow. So the takeaway here is trust Hashem. Our reality – the one we see with our eyes, may not be actual reality. There are other possibilities – and trust that Hashem works things out for our good!

What are your thoughts?

Categories: