Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 10 Cheshvan, 5785

Today we focus on the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. The lesson for us is about judgment. What standards of judgment do we set for ourselves? When it came to Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham and Hashem have a conversation about “how many” righteous people Hashem would need to find to spare the city.

10. 10 righteous folx.

Within ourselves? Are we seeing our own floor of 10% of our life being in good shape?

Are we focused on moving from 10 to 11? Or are we focused on the 90 we are missing?

This frame of reference can make a big difference in how we live a moment. How we sustain wonder.

Thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 15 Cheshvan, 5784
Parsha Va-Yera’: (Genesis 18:1-22:24) 
Second Portion: Genesis 18:16 – 32

Much has been written about the story of Sodom and Gomorrah.  I’ve written the past two years about Justice and Charity. About looking within.  I am left with this question:

When we judge ourselves and others; do we focus on what we’ve done or what we haven’t done? Which outweighs the other?

If I find ten righteous mitzvahs in myself?  If I am keeping Kosher 10% of the time? Is that enough to avoid destroying myself emotionally?

What is my own personal standard? If I do 90% of the mitzvahs – if I am proud of my actions and how I navigate my thoughts 90% of the time?  Is that enough for me NOT to destroy myself?

Abraham negotiates with Hashem here:

20And the Lord said, “Since the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah has become great, and since their sin has become very grave,

21I will descend now and see, whether according to her cry, which has come to Me, they have done; [I will wreak] destruction [upon them]; and if not, I will know.”

22And the men turned from there and went to Sodom, and Abraham was still standing before the Lord.

23And Abraham approached and said, “Will You even destroy the righteous with the wicked?

24Perhaps there are fifty righteous men in the midst of the city; will You even destroy and not forgive the place for the sake of the fifty righteous men who are in its midst?

25Far be it from You to do a thing such as this, to put to death the righteous with the wicked so that the righteous should be like the wicked. Far be it from You! Will the Judge of the entire earth not perform justice?”

26And the Lord said, “If I find in Sodom fifty righteous men within the city, I will forgive the entire place for their sake.”

27And Abraham answered and said, “Behold now I have commenced to speak to the Lord, although I am dust and ashes.

28Perhaps the fifty righteous men will be missing five. Will You destroy the entire city because of five?” And He said, “I will not destroy if I find there forty-five.”

29And he continued further to speak to Him, and he said, “Perhaps forty will be found there.” And He said, “I will not do it for the sake of the forty.”

30And he said, “Please, let the Lord’s wrath not be kindled, and I will speak. Perhaps thirty will be found there.” And He said, “I will not do it if I find thirty there.”

31And he said, “Behold now I have desired to speak to the Lord, perhaps twenty will be found there.” And He said, “I will not destroy for the sake of the twenty.”

32And he said, “Please, let the Lord’s wrath not be kindled, and I will speak yet this time, perhaps ten will be found there.” And He said, “I will not destroy for the sake of the ten.”

33And the Lord departed when He finished speaking to Abraham, and Abraham returned to his place.

Let’s reframe this, shall we?  Let’s imagine. Instead of talking about Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham and Hashem were arguing about you? Me? With apologies to Hashem, let me re-write the Torah to make it a little more meaningful:

And the Lord said, “Since the cry of Tyler has become great, and since his sin has become very grave, I will descend now and see, whether according to his cry, which has come to Me, they have done; [I will wreak] destruction [upon them]; and if not, I will know.”

And the men turned from there and went to Tyler, and Abraham was still standing before the Lord.

And Abraham approached and said, “Will You even destroy the righteous (parts of tyler) with the wicked (parts of tyler)?  Perhaps there are fifty righteous (parts of tyler) in the midst of him; will You even destroy and not forgive tyler for the sake of the fifty righteous (parts of tyler) who are within him?  Far be it from You to do a thing such as this, to put to death the righteous parts with the wicked parts so that the righteous should be like the wicked. Far be it from You! Will the Judge of the entire body not perform justice?”

And the Lord said, “If I find in tyler fifty righteous (parts) within him, I will forgive him for their sake.”

And Abraham answered and said, “Behold now I have commenced to speak to the Lord, although I am dust and ashes. Perhaps the fifty righteous parts will be missing five. Will You destroy the entire person because of five?” And He said, “I will not destroy if I find there forty-five (righteous parts).”

And he continued further to speak to Him, and he said, “Perhaps forty will be found there.” And He said, “I will not do it for the sake of the forty.”

And he said, “Please, let the Lord’s wrath not be kindled, and I will speak. Perhaps thirty will be found there.” And He said, “I will not do it if I find thirty there.”

And he said, “Behold now I have desired to speak to the Lord, perhaps twenty will be found there.” And He said, “I will not destroy for the sake of the twenty.”

And he said, “Please, let the Lord’s wrath not be kindled, and I will speak yet this time, perhaps ten will be found there.” And He said, “I will not destroy for the sake of the ten.”

And the Lord departed when He finished speaking to Abraham, and Abraham returned to his place.

Imagine father Abraham speaking to Hashem on OUR behalf? How does THAT feel? 10% of us.  That’s the floor.  10% of our friends. Family. Neighbors. Strangers. 10%. 

That’s Hashem’s standard.  That is His charity. In line with His justice. 

And how much do we struggle to live in THAT when those around us have standards such that nothing short of 100% will do? How often do we feel in our relationships – with our partner, our kids, our parents, our friends, food, money, etc that any one mistake will cause a destruction like that of Sodom and Gomorrah?

Friends. This is NOT the standard.  Hashem’s standard?  10 righteous parts of us.  10 mitzvahs.  10 opportunities to connect with Hashem.  Let’s ADD to our learning shall we?

• The Path of Ascension begins with curiosity and not judgement
• If someone’s curiosity causes doubt and defensiveness, be curious about our own doubt and defensiveness and NOT their motives for curiosity.
• The tree of life is within us. Choose life within with curiosity and not judgment
• Learn to balance the comfort of stumbling, with the challenge of pushing ourselves towards spiritual growth.
• Let go of a stable life. Freedom is accepting “what is” as a blessing. We can’t control what happens. We can only navigate it with bitterness or flow.
• Freedom requires balance – emotions vs intellect, humility vs confidence, thinking as an individual while staying meaningfully connected to others.
• Freedom comes from expansion and not contraction – but contraction is important to the process of expansion
• To live free, we must circumcise the foreskin of past trauma and feel the pain of healing so that our higher selves can appear to us, and we can co-create miraculous NEW life for us and others.

To be free, we must understand what love requires vs the world around us.  10%.  Just start there. Freedom is seeing the 10% and moving to 11%. Not being trapped by the daunting 90% we feel guilt and shame about.  The 90% is slavery. The 10% is freedom.

How do you judge yourself? Is that the measure you judge others? “Judge not lest ye be judged” seems to be more in line with THIS principle than what I’ve heard.  How do WE judge ourselves?

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?