Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 11 Tevet, 5785

Shabbat Shalom!  Today we finish the book of Genesis. This is now the fifth time I have gone through it – and each time I get more and more out of it.  It’s the end of the beginning for us.

Time to take stock of our learning so far, especially as we enter the full moon.

I think the message has been about “What we seek, we become.”

And I am left with a question. What if? We seek nothing?

Do we then become nothing?

Or do we open ourselves to everything?

Seeking or receiving?

That is freedom.

Shabbat Shalom. May the Torah continue to strengthen us.

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 18 Tevet, 5784
Parsha Va-Yehi (Genesis 47:28 – 50:26)
Seventh Portion: Genesis 50:21 – 50:26

Shabbat Shalom! Today is the FINAL Shabbat of 2023!  And it is interesting that we are FINISHING the book of Genesis today!  For me, this is my fourth in depth pass through. My first year (5781) I did this privately. The next (5782) I started posting on facebook my thoughts. Then last year (5783)  I took these thoughts and expanded them.  This year? I started the website and have been posting them here – with getting back to a line by line read.  I hope you have enjoyed the journey!  I am excited to dig into Exodus next.  But let’s finish out Genesis!

The context of today’s portion was Jacob passing away, and Joseph’s brothers FREAKING OUT.  They were worried that Joseph was merely acting in front of pops – and now that dad was out of the way? They were worried about Joseph’s wrath for what they had done to him. Joseph ended yesterday’s portion with “guys – look – you meant harm, but Hashem is bigger than all of us- if you didn’t do what you did?  We’d likely be dead. Instead? I am king of Egypt! 

This is the context for today’s portion.  And think about this.  How much do we hold onto our shame and guilt? Worried it is hiding behind every corner to ensnare us!  How much energy do we spend trying to protect ourselves from the consequences of our past actions?

As we have approached Genesis – and discussed Spiritual Liberation and Freedom – we cannot be free if we are afraid. Fear keeps us closed. We need to open ourselves up to navigating tough emotions – disappointment, anger, sadness, GRIEF.  The more we are AFRAID of those and try to PROTECT ourselves from feeling those emotions? The safer we may feel – but also the prison we end up building for ourselves.  It is time to come out of the ark.  And listen to the words of Joseph:

21So now do not fear. I will sustain you and your small children.” And he comforted them and spoke to their hearts.

22So Joseph dwelt in Egypt, he and his father’s household, and Joseph lived a hundred and ten years.

23Joseph saw children of a third generation [born] to Ephraim; also the sons of Machir the son of Manasseh were born on Joseph’s knees.

Do. Not. Fear.  The beginning (Genesis) is about navigating our fears. Our flight or fight response. Will we allow ourselves to feel safe? In a space/time that CLEARLY doesn’t engender safety? When we look around us – war, conflict, poverty, violence, etc. There is a LOT to be afraid of.  This is VALID.  We can JUDGE that fear, or we can be curious about it. This is freedom.

Joseph promises – “I will sustain you.” Consider this. Joseph was a human. His brothers SOLD him into SLAVERY.  But Joseph (for the most part) remained free.  And Joseph is willing to say to his brothers – “I will sustain you.”  WHY? That is our life journey.  To figure out WHY and HOW Joseph could come to this place? That is the secret to freedom and liberation. And. Let’s keep going:

24Joseph said to his brothers, “I am going to die; God will surely remember you and take you up out of this land to the land that He swore to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob.”

25And Joseph adjured the children of Israel, saying, “God will surely remember you, and you shall take up my bones out of here.”

26And Joseph died at the age of one hundred ten years, and they embalmed him and he was placed into the coffin in Egypt.

Genesis ends with an ending. The death of Joseph. The death of curiosity. And this is the BEGINNING of Exodus. We cannot be freed if we are never enslaved.

This morning, I read something profound in the “Book of Awakening” by Mark Nepo:

I have always been amazed how the deepest things are intangible: love, doubt, faith, confusion, peace, wisdom, passion.  Where are they?  They can’t be help in the hand like fruit or turned in the lap like pages of a sacred text.  Yet they shape our lives. This has ALWAYS been the driving mystery of all sacred wisdom: The only things worth saying are those thing that are unsayable.

Perhaps this is the most poignant of paradoxes, nature’s safeguard against letting too much of the mystery out.  We take years of living to squeeze a few precious words from all that will not speak, and steadily, being shaped by our suffering and polished by our joy, we become the Earth, knowing more and saying less.

It feels inevitable and holy that we should become what we seek. We start out wanting to know love and living long enough, we become love. We start out wanting to know God, and suffering long enough, we become God. Over time, the heart expands from within and all our skins thin until we become something elemental, rounding to the next grain of wisdom to be found.

We become what we seek.

Seek judgment – we will be judgement.

Seek curiosity – we will be curiosity.

Seek wonder – we will be wonder.

Seek love – we will be love.

This (I think) is the message Mark Nepo is conveying to us.

And. I think the Torah turns this on it’s head.

Be afraid – and we will seek fear.

Be judgment – and we will seek judgment.

Be love – and we will seek love.

Be wonder – and we will seek wonder.

Be curious – and we will seek curiosity.

This is the beginning of the end. The end of the beginning.

These are my thoughts.  And. As I mention below. When we come to the end of a book of the Torah

It is tradition for Jews to say when finishing a book of the Torah; “Chazak, Chazak, V’NeetChazek.” The Ch is the same sound as Chanukah.

This means; “Be Strong! Be Strong! And may we be strengthened!”

May this Torah discussion strengthen us all!

Be strong. Seek strength. From within.

Seek Strength. And we will become strong.

The Torah is the source.

Seek Torah, and we will become Torah.

Be Torah, and we will seek Torah.

Shabbat Shalom.