Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 15 Shevat, 5784
Parsha Be-Shallah: (Exodus 13:17 – 17:16)
Fifth Portion: Exodus 15:27 – 16:10

Good morning! Happy Tu B’Shevat! Today is the new year for trees! Today is a fulcrum point for this moon cycle. The first half of the cycle was about harshness. Old, rotted, dead trees in our lives that are keeping us stuck in the past have been pulled up and uprooted, to create space for new trees to be planted. Today we plant these NEW trees and move forward for the year in a way that creates positive change for us!

As we turn from Egypt in the Torah – and we enter the wilderness – a new journey has begun. We are NOT YET in the promised land.  We are in our awe. We are feeling afraid because we don’t know what is ahead. We feel safe because we have seen what Hashem has done for us to bring us here. We can breathe in fear, and breathe out safety. OR we can breathe in safety and breath out fear.  Just reflect on that.

Let’s dig into the portion today:

15:27They came to Elim, and there were twelve water fountains and seventy palms, and they encamped there by the water.

I am struck by the numbers.  We know, 70 of Jacob’s family entered Egypt (we read this in Genesis). We know there were 12 tribes.  What a perfect sign from Hashem, right? Reminding the children of Israel that EVERYTHING works out.

Let’s keep going:

16:1They journeyed from Elim, and the entire community of the children of Israel came to the desert of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after their departure from the land of Egypt.

So Hashem took them to a desert. It took 45 days to get there (give or take – probably more like 43).

Remember, that was the plan all along. The original choice was – stay enslaved in Egypt or go to the desert with pain and dryness.

They arrived. And, their response?

2The entire community of the children of Israel complained against Moses and against Aaron in the desert.

3The children of Israel said to them, If only we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by pots of meat, when we ate bread to our fill! For you have brought us out into this desert, to starve this entire congregation to death.

There was still more to grieve here. They had a slave mentality that was on full display. Better to live as slaves than die free. They had forgotten in 45 days how life was in Egypt.

What does Hashem do in response here? Does he get angry? Does he receive their fear and return anger?

No.

4So the Lord said to Moses, Behold! I am going to rain down for you bread from heaven, and the people shall go out and gather what is needed for the day, so that I can test them, whether or not they will follow My teaching.

5And it shall be on the sixth day that when they prepare what they will bring, it will be double of what they gather every day.

Verse 4 says “test them” but I think what is happening here is an opportunity. Hashem doesn’t need to test them. He knows. Who needs the test? We do.

Hashem provided “bread from heaven.” (many call this mana) So we can see our hearts.

Some of us are looking for abundance. Most of us? And we get FRUSTRATED because we are only being given mana. Just enough to live. And we complain. We are afraid. What if the mana doesn’t come tomorrow? Where’s my abundance so I don’t have to RELY on Hashem???  Why would Hashem not just give us ABUNDANCE right away?

6[Thereupon,] Moses and Aaron said to all the children of Israel, [In the] evening, you shall know that the Lord brought you out of the land of Egypt.

7And [in the] morning, you shall see the glory of the Lord when He hears your complaints against the Lord but [of] what [significance] are we, that you make [the people] complain against us?

8And Moses said, When the Lord gives you in the evening meat to eat and bread in the morning [with which] to become sated, when the Lord hears your complaints, which you are making [the people] complain against Him, but [of] what [significance] are we? Not against us are your complaints, but against the Lord.

9And Moses said to Aaron, Say to the entire community of the children of Israel, Draw near before the Lord, for He has heard your complaints.

Moses and Aaron tell the people: Tonight you will know who brought you out of Egypt, when you wake up in the morning, you will know he hears your complaints. We are not insignificant to Hashem.

Full stop.

How would we know whether we are significant to Hashem? Which of these scenarios would communicate the depths of our significance to Him. Assume Hashem is limited in funding. He has a million dollars to give us:

1. Scenario 1: Hashem dumps a million dollars in our pocket right now. We breathe. We blow it out and five months later we get nothing.
2. Scenario 2: Hashem gives you $100 a day for the next 10,000 days (27 years). We may not be able to fully breathe, but we know this is what we are getting for 27 years. Stability.

Which scenario do you take? Yes. Hashem could give us a million dollars today and we could say we’d invest it and come out on top over the long run. AND. Hashem knows our future. If he really wants what is best for us – maybe he sees that and knows how that turns out for us. And. If we keep pushing, maybe he gives it to us. Maybe he doesn’t.

The point being. When we are trying to survive as the children of Israel were? It can get kind of scary. Leaving slavery isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. We don’t do a lot of deep diving into the aftermath of slavery. ESPECIALLY in America where our collective guilt and shame hasn’t reconciled with our troubled past. We want to just pretend “that was a different time” and not acknowledge the wilderness humans in our country are having to navigate because they have not returned to their promised land of milk and honey.  Just something to reflect on.

The portion today closes out with not only these words were being spoken to the children of Israel, this happens:

10And it came to pass when Aaron spoke to the entire community of the children of Israel, that they turned toward the desert, and behold! the glory of the Lord appeared in the cloud.

Hashem showed up. The people complained. Hashem showed up.

What is it we are complaining about today? Where do we need Hashem to show up?

These are my thoughts. What are yours?

Here are my thoughts from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 11 Shevat, 5783

I get chills reading this. A year ago (according to the Hebrew calendar) I was on the eve of a major change in my life.

A true releasing of me in liberation and freedom in many ways. I would see Hashem’s glory in the morning after a very dark night of this month of harshness.

I’m still climbing out of the darkness in many ways. But there are so many points of light.

We are told “in the morning, we will see God’s glory.” We have a choice to believe it or not.

Many of us feel like we are in the midst of storms. I remember over the past year when I entered the “calm before the storm.” This day last year was the ultimate calm before the storm.

One Hebrew calendar year later? I find myself in the “storm before the calm.”

Thing can become very stormy in our lives. But we don’t tend to get mad at the weather, do we? It’s not like we control the clouds or rain or snow or lightning.

But the storm passes. And we once again have peace. Calm.

The tricky part is remembering that we are safe in the midst of the storm. Emotionally, spiritually, physically. We are safe.

We come back to this time and time again.

Do we trust our Neshama? Do we trust Hashem? When the storm rages.

Because Tu B’Shevat is coming. And this month will go from Din (harshness) to Chesed (kindness).

Tu B’Shevat is the fulcrum here. For me? Tonight begins a different fulcrum. The night my mother passed away 15 years ago. The night my marriage ended one year ago. Both on the same date.

And what have I taken away from this? Healing. Lots of healing.

And a lot of it lately has been around engaging my shadows – in Kabbalah this would be connected to the Animal soul.

This article about the “shadow internal feminine” has been super impactful this past week. It is one part of a four part series. I highly encourage you to read it; especially if you struggle with any type of past trauma that needs healing.

https://thesacredloverswithin.com/shadow-inner-female…/

This is the storm before the calm. May you have peace this weekend and begin to experience internal kindness on Sunday that is greater than you’ve ever known!

Love and light! Trust you are safe.

Tyler’s Torah thoughts for Shevat 11, 5782

Tonight starts the Yahrtziet of my mother who died on the 12th of Shevat. This Torah thought post (and tomorrow’s) is dedicated to her.

So we left off with Moses giving some of the commandments to the Jews; the sabbath and the red heifer, and monetary claims.

Then there was a promise; if the Jews listen to the voice of God and perform the mitzvahs that bring us closer to him, including the ones we don’t understand (called the suprarational mitzvahs) in exchange, the sicknesses placed upon Egypt won’t be placed upon the children of Israel.

This was after the children of Israel grumbled about a lack of water and then discovering bitter water that was healed.

Today we see the Jews journey to Elim, where they found 12 water fountains with several date palm trees. They camped by the water. This was a sign obviously that Hashem would provide.

They left Elim and went to the desert of Sin between Elim and Sinai. This was on the fifteenth day of the second month after they left the land of Egypt.

And OF COURSE we complained against Moses and Aaron! Because the bread had run out. We once again lamented leaving the land of slavery – if only we were back in Egypt eating pots of meat! We were brought out in the desert to die!

Let’s stop for a moment. How often do we experience some freedom from our personal “Egypts” only for things to get hard again and be in a place we need to trust Hashem? Where some provision runs out on us (like water or bread….or in our cases things like stability or routine). We are required to trust Hashem, and yet we don’t. We doubt. We think life would have been better if I never did the work to change to be free from our personal Egypts.

We can certainly relate to the children of Israel here, can’t we?

But God is faithful. He provides. He tells Moses he is going to rain bread (mana) from heaven. People will gather what they need as a test!

Hold up. God is testing us? Why?

He tells us “so I can test them to see whether or not they will follow my Torah.”

Doesn’t God already know? Why would he need to test us? I’m assuming it isn’t necessarily just for his benefit – but for ours. Tests and quizzes do help us retain information.

Moses and Aaron relay the message from God to the Israelites. They say something interesting here: “You will realize that it is not us, but God who brought you out of the land of Egypt” basically the mana from heaven was a sign from God- Moses made sure he wasn’t getting credit for it.

They (Moses and Aaron) make an even more interesting statement. They say “in the morning you will see God’s glory in the beautiful way that he delivers you bread, indicating that God has heard your properly delivered complaints against Him about the lack of bread. But of what significance are we, that you make the people complain against us?”

They make the point the people’s complaints are not properly addressed against Moses since it was God who was doing all of this. How often do we blame one another and ignore the reality that maybe Hashem has a purpose for a difficult situation? Maybe it is to build our faith? I don’t know. But it’s worth chewing on for sure!

The portion today ends with Moses and Aaron finishing their address to Israel with the glory of God appearing in a cloud in the desert. Like an exclamation mark.

Where in our lives do we need to look to see the presence of God?

What are your thoughts today?