Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 17 Tevet, 5784
Parsha Va-Yehi (Genesis 47:28 – 50:26)
Sixth Portion: Genesis 49:27 – 50:20

Good morning!  Today we have TWO more portions left to finish Genesis.  The Beginning. And He Lived.

And I reflect as we leave the month of Tevet and start looking ahead to Shevat. We will see more order and less chaos. And? The order may not be what we desire – because the harshness of Shevat happens until the moon reaches fullness, and then kindness comes.

“And He Lived.”  Yesterday’s passage seems to indicate “He” may ALSO refer to Moses.  So many “He” possibilities.  We see – And “He” lived could refer to Jacob, Joseph, Benjamin, his brothers.  And? Moses?  I don’t know.  But if Moses arrives in the Torah to teach us more about these parts of our hearts – agitated active, agitated passive, peaceful passive and peaceful active? That would be amazing, wouldn’t it?

Ok – let’s dig in. We have a longer portion today!

The context is the fullness of the blessings of Jacob – we left off with Jacob’s blessing of Joseph.  Joseph seemed to be the culmination – the blessings of the hearts. It was a double blessing, and I wrote this yesterday to provide context:

Joseph’s head is the blessing Joseph receives in the moment It was given to him.  In each moment of Joseph’s life. And. The one who was separated from his brothers? Acknowledges Joseph was separated from his family.  It’s a different blessing – it is a blessing of the past. And future?

Joseph was given a blessing of the past, future, and present.  With that – let’s dig into today:

27Benjamin is a wolf, he will prey; in the morning he will devour plunder, and in the evening he will divide the spoil.”

Um. On first read? That sounds kind of harsh, doesn’t it?

But let’s get curious.  I’ve written about wolves.  On Kislev 7, 5783 I wrote:

This last weekend I visited a wolf sanctuary near here. The docent told us about the idea of wolf packs. Yes; they are very loyal; but there does come power struggles. If the alpha male or female start feeling like a kid in the pack is gaining too much power – they will push that member out of the pack. One she-wolf at the sanctuary had pushed out multiple members of the pack. I thought that was interesting.

 When a wolf has left the pack, they have two options; find a new pack, or start a new pack. You can see those elements here. Laban was the alpha. Jacob’s wealth and power were growing. It was time to leave the pack. But he didn’t leave alone. He spoke with his wives. They went with him.

Who is in your “pack?” What power dynamics exist? Are you able to be your authentic self? Or do you have to hide your success because it’s a threat to others in the pack?

Something I’m reflecting on from todays passage. What about you?

 As I reflect on this, and the idea of wolves. We may be able to dig into this passage deeper and ask some questions.

27Benjamin is a wolf, he will prey; in the morning he will devour plunder, and in the evening he will divide the spoil.”

• Benjamin is a wolf. Is he a lone wolf? Or is he an alpha in a NEW pack?
• He will prey; What does Benjamin prey on? WHY does Benjamin prey? Is it to care for his pack? Who is his pack?
• In the morning he devours plunder, Is this a literal morning? Or does this refer to his early life? Does this refer to this NEW life after Jacob passes? Why does he devour? What is he feeding? WHO (or WHAT) is he plundering?
• In the evening he will divide the spoil. Is this a literal evening? Is this late in his life? WHO does he divide the spoil with?

 These are the curious questions I have.

 Wolves aren’t alone. The Torah could have called Benjamin a lone wolf.

Remember – for Jacob and Joseph to heal, Benjamin had to be let go of – released. He wasn’t pushed out of the pack of brothers from Jacob. He was risked for the purpose of survival of the pack.

And he isn’t a lone wolf.  And he is, right?  Because this portion separates Benjamin out from his brothers.  The Torah is almost saying – all of the other brothers? They are one pack with Joseph. Benjamin is starting a NEW pack here. It’s almost like – at the end of Genesis – Benjamin is our “begin again” isn’t he?

Benjamin will prey.  It almost feels like we are alluding to his agitated heart. Or maybe that is what Benjamin will prey on. He will actively seek out agitated hearts? In order to protect his pack? To protect the peace?  We talked about Joseph and conflict.  Joseph seems to let conflict come to him. Benjamin is going to seek out conflict. And early in his life? He devours the agitation. He absorbs it. Later on he will learn to observe it – and bring the spoils of the agitation back to his pack.

This leads to another lesson (I think).

When we deal in relationship with the souls of others.  We have a choice.

Absorb energy, emotions, conflict and feelings of others.  If they are sad, I feel sad. If they are angry, I fell their anger.  This is devouring plunder. This is taking the sovereignty of others’ energy on to ourselves.

How many of us do this?

The move is to OBSERVE the energy. See it’s manifestations.  If someone is sad, we can hold them in their sadness – instead of holding their sadness for them.  If someone is angry, we can hold them in their anger, instead of holding their anger for them.

Because as a pack leader? It would get EXHAUSTING devouring the energy of others. Absorbing their emotions (especially those who repress and refuse to feel them) and taking them on as our own.  Devouring plunder.

The path to peace? DIVIDING spoils. Taking the energy – observing it – allowing it to pass as a storm within those we care about.  And see the SPOILS of that – being health and wholeness.

Just my thoughts here.  So almost we could rewrite this:

27Benjamin is a wolf, he will prey; in the morning he will devour plunder, and in the evening he will divide the spoil.”

To this:

Benjamin is a leader of a pack. He will seek out energy.  Early in his life? He will absorb that energy and consume it. Benjamin will learn later in life, to observe it and let it pass – and the healing that results will be the spoils divided within the group he leads.

Benjamin is a new leader – it would seem?  This is just a hypothesis.  It will be interesting to see in Exodus how this plays out.  I could be COMPLETELY wrong.  What are YOUR thoughts?

Our takeaway though is this:

• When in relationship with others – do we tend to take their feelings on FOR them instead of allowing the feelings to unfold for them NATURALLY? Providing space and silence for THEM to navigate the storm of emotions?

I’ve had quite a few conversations with men and women recently.  Society does NOT train us to do this.  Society has trained women to absorb the emotions and feelings of men. They devour feelings.  Most men tend to be unaware of their emotions – or, have a hidden agenda. Women encounter these emotions, FEEL these emotions FOR these men -and devour these emotions.  We pray on these men to fill a void and a need within us – because we have not been validated in OUR feelings, so we need to validate and absorb the feelings of others.

For men? We are told to stuff our feelings. Deep. It is weakness to display most of our emotions.  So that when we encounter others who HAVE emotions?  We feel HELPLESS to do ANYTHING.  Our training has taught us? When we feel helpless? Try to fix. Analyze the problem. We are watching our female friends DEVOUR their own emotions (which are exponentially greater because they ALSO absorb the emotions of others).

The goal here for us is to instead – listen. Provide space. Allow the storm of emotions to pass. And like Benjamin – see the spoils of that storm and divide the peace that COMES with it.

This would seem like (to me) as healthy masculinity. This would be a way for us to “begin again.”

Ok.  We’ve made it through ONE LINE of today’s long portion.  Let’s keep going!

28All these are the twelve tribes of Israel, and this is what their father spoke to them and blessed them; each man, according to his blessing, he blessed them.

29And he commanded them and said to them, “I will be brought in to my people; bury me with my fathers, in the cave that is in the field of Ephron the Hittite,

30in the cave that is in the field of Machpelah, which is before Mamre in the land of Canaan, which field Abraham bought from Ephron the Hittite for burial property.

31There they buried Abraham and his wife Sarah, there they buried Isaac and his wife Rebecca, and there I buried Leah.

32The purchase of the field and the cave therein was from the sons of Heth.”

33And Jacob concluded commanding his sons, and he drew his legs [up] into the bed, and expired and was brought in to his people.

Benjamin was a way for us to “Begin again” it would seem.  A fresh start.  So much so, the Torah ends Jacob’s life here. And. Jacob is telling his sons to “bring me home.” Jacob’s body is going back to where it was. I would assume his soul was too!  Let’s keep going:

1Joseph fell on his father’s face, and he wept over him and kissed him.

2And Joseph commanded his servants, the physicians, to embalm his father, and the physicians embalmed Israel.

3And forty days were completed for him for so are the days of embalming completed and the Egyptians wept over him for seventy days.

4When the days of his weeping had passed, Joseph spoke to Pharaoh’s household, saying, “If now I have found favor in your eyes, speak now in Pharaoh’s ears, saying,

5’My father adjured me, saying, “Behold, I am going to die. In my grave, which I dug for myself in the land of Canaan, there you shall bury me.” So now, please let me go up and bury my father and return.’ “

6And Pharaoh said, “Go up and bury your father as he adjured you.”

This is fascinating to me.  Joseph mourned his father.  And instead of JUST GOING to bury his father? He trusted.  He went to Pharoah to ask for permission.  He gave Pharoah the sovereignty that Pharaoh was due. Joseph trusted Hashem this would all work out, and he did not have to manipulate the situation.

Our takeaway?  How often do we take sovereignty away from OTHERS because we are afraid to trust Hashem to work it all out for our good? How many opportunities to do we rob Hashem of blessing us?  Because in my head?  “what if Pharaoh had told Joseph NO?”  That would be scary to put this in Pharoah’s hands!!!  But that isn’t what happened. Joseph held space “what if Pharoah says YES???”

Do we assume we are going to get a negative response from others? Why?  By assuming this, do we create this reality for ourselves? These are the questions I ask. Let’s keep going!

7So Joseph went up to bury his father, and all Pharaoh’s servants, the elders of his house, and all the elders of the land of Egypt went up with him,

8and Joseph’s entire household and his brothers and his father’s household; only their young children and their flocks and cattle did they leave in the land of Goshen.

9And chariots and horsemen also went up with him, and the camp was very numerous.

10And they came to the threshing floor of the thornbushes, which is on the other side of the Jordan, and there they conducted a very great and impressive eulogy, and he made for his father a mourning of seven days.

Joseph honors his father. They bring everyone but the kids and animals. And they crossed the Jordan – and they “conducted a very great and impressive eulogy.” And mourned for seven days.

What is a takeaway here?

Well, we’ve been talking about GRIEF being the path to freedom. The way to create space from reaction to response.

Are there things we are holding onto in our lives? Things we refuse to allow ourselves to grieve over? Do we need to perform “a very great and impressive eulogy?”  Do we need people to “bear witness” to our grief and wounds in order to let it go?  Maybe bringing people together to have a eulogy is what is called for as we LEAVE 2023 and ENTER 2024?  Or as we LEAVE Tevet (chaos and repair) and ENTER Shevat ( harshness and kindness centered around a holiday for trees) we have time to eulogize the wounds of our past so we don’t bring them into our future.

What wounds and trauma do we need to bury once and for all? Not in a way that represses them – but a way that honors the Trauma and the impact it has on us?

Journal. Speak to a friend. Go back in time to bear witness to the wounds. Eulogize them. Give them air. They mourned Jacob for seven days. Maybe that is what WE are called to do.  To begin again. To give Benjamin a head start. To move from DEVOURING our prey to Dividing the spoils of healing?

Alright let’s keep going…

11The Canaanite[s], the inhabitant[s] of the land, saw the mourning at the threshing floor of the thornbushes, and they said, “This is an intense mourning for the Egyptians.” Therefore, they named it Abel Mizraim (Egypt mourns), which is on the other side of the Jordan.

12And his sons did to him just as he had commanded them.

13And his sons carried him to the land of Canaan, and they buried him in the cave of the field of Machpelah, which field Abraham had bought for burial property from Ephron the Hittite before Mamre.

14And Joseph returned to Egypt, he and his brothers, and all who had gone up with him to bury his father, after he had buried his father.

Interesting.  They grieved SO MUCH strangers saw it and attributed it to Egypt. This might lend to the idea that the Torah is telling us to grieve our trauma – because when we do – we step into the promised land for a time. Because – and I am not 100% sure. This is the LAST time the Israelites enter the promised land in the Torah as a group.  Only the 12 spies enter it for the entire rest of the Torah.

This would seem – grief brings us back to the promise. Freedom. Liberation.  Even when we are living in Egypt – we can go back and bury our dead. Our trauma. Not repress it. Not ignore it. But honor it. Jacob had trauma.  His decisions created trauma. And. He rested in the promise.

And what happened when they buried the trauma? They lived happily ever after, right?

Wrong.  Because the sons buried their father, they did not bury their trauma there.  And here we go:

15Now Joseph’s brothers saw that their father had died, and they said, “Perhaps Joseph will hate us and return to us all the evil that we did to him.”

16So they commanded [messengers to go] to Joseph, to say, “Your father commanded [us] before his death, saying,

17’So shall you say to Joseph, “Please, forgive now your brothers’ transgression and their sin, for they did evil to you. Now please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.” ‘ ” Joseph wept when they spoke to him.

Although they buried Jacob? The brothers HELD ONTO their guilt and shame.

And. How much do we do this in our lives? Forgive the person AND hold onto our shame.  We always have more work to do. And. The brothers did give air to this with Joseph:

18His brothers also went and fell before him, and they said, “Behold, we are your slaves.”

19But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid, for am I instead of God?

20Indeed, you intended evil against me, [but] God designed it for good, in order to bring about what is at present to keep a great populace alive.

And here we close today’s portion with a lesson we’ve discussed in the past. Intentions aren’t relevant.  The impact in a moment is. Joseph reminds them – our intentions don’t matter; Hashem’s design is ALWAYS for good. We can release our shame and guilt.

This is just another takeaway from Genesis.

Ok. What are YOUR thoughts?  Tomorrow? We close the book on the beginning.  What a ride it has been.  I look forward to digging into Exodus – and next year when we come BACK to Genesis again!  We are never done. We always (like Benjamin) begin again!

Here are my thoughts from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 13 Tevet, 5783

What is SUPER interesting today in our portion is the full moon tonight. It’s considered the “Wolf Moon.” And our passage today refers to Benjamin as a wolf. That can’t be coincidence right?

What is also interesting personally? My Hebrew name is Benjamin. And I am a descendant of Moises Wolf Miller. I have Benjamin and Wolf in my lineage.

So I am paying careful attention to todays message.

One key thing that sticks out to me this year as I read; the end. Joseph’s relationship with his brothers. They recognize a change in Joseph after Jacob died. And it makes me wonder if there was unhealed Trauma Joseph had to deal with? Maybe his brothers too.

His brothers concoct a plot to ask for forgiveness. To call out Joseph’s change. And Joesph’s response is crying.

How often over the past year have I ugly cried in moments of internal healing? Too often to count.

This morning has been an incredible time of reflecting for me.

You see, this week, I’ve been home quarantining. I got sick Monday – a cold – I figured from being outside all day at the parade on Sunday. I tested for COVID on Monday and Tuesday and was negative. I was feeling better yesterday and wanted to go back to work. I needed an official test; that COVID test came back positive. I’ve been home all week.

It’s been tough. Because I like being out and about. I tend to not slow down. But this transition from 2022 to 2023 has brought me to places within I’ve been exploring that are brand new.

We mentioned before; Tevet as a month is where chaos and repair hang in the balance. All of it culminates tonight with the light of the full wolf moon.

This morning I’ve discovered why I like to go fast and don’t like slowing down. My life feels like the struggle between self abandonment and self repair. I fear that if I slow down, I will abandon who I am. That I won’t do the work.

But this week has shown me. I can slow down. And I won’t abandon me. I fulfilled a 41 year old promise to myself this past weekend. I’m that committed.

I want to share something i read this morning. It’s all about the mirrors of our soul.

https://ericehrke.com/the-seven-essene-mirrors-of…/

The people who come into our lives are mirrors for us. We can choose distraction, or we can choose engagement.

If we want to do the work of repair, and move from chaos, we need to spend time digging into the mirrors in our lives.

What are our mirrors telling us?

Feel free to write in the comments below, or DM me!

As we prepare for this sabbath tonight, May we find peace in our journeys

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for Tevet 13, 5782

Todays sixth portion of Va-yehi begins with the end of Jacob’s blessings to his sons. He has blessed every one except one; Benjamin.

Of Benjamin, he says that his descendants will be like a wolf that grabs and tears at his prey. He alludes to Saul (who will he the first king) who will arise in the morning of Israel’s history who will devour plunder; and in the evening of Israel’s history, he alludes to Mordecai and Ester dividing the spoils of Haman.

We learn these are the 12 tribes of Israel; and Jacob spoke these words to them. We go back a bit because Reuben, Simeon and Levi didn’t receive as much of a blessing as they did a rebuke; but the Torah assures us they were blessed as well.

He then instructed his sons; “I will soon die and my soul will be gathered in to be with the souls of my people. Bury me with my fathers in the cave which is in Ephraim the Hittite’s field.” He lays out the specific cave and explains his family has paid for the land.

And with that, Jacob gathered his legs into the bed, breathed is last, and his soul was gathered to be with the souls of his people.

There is quite a bit written about Jacob’s death in Talmud;

Rashi writes that “The Torah makes no mention of Jacob’s actual ‘death’”

Rabbi Johanan said “Jacob our father never died!”

Rabbi Nachman asked, “Was it for nothing that they eulogized, embalmed, and buried him?”

Rabbi Isaac replied “I derive it from Scripture; ‘But you have no fear, My servant Jacob, I will deliver you from far away and your children from the land of captivity.’ (Jeremiah 30:10). The verse equates Jacob with his children, the Jewish people. Just as his children are alive, so too, he is alive!

Some interesting thoughts!

After Jacob’s soul left, Joseph fell on his fathers face and wept over him. He commanded his physicians to embalm him. It takes 40 days to embalm, and after that, the Egyptians mourned Jacob for an additional 30 days. A total of 70 days. It is interesting that 70 is the number of Jacob’s family who came to Egypt.

After this period, Joseph goes to Pharaoh to ask permission to go an bury his father. He explains he made an oath to Jacob, so it would be tough for Pharaoh to block him. Pharaoh tells him to go and bury his dad.

So Joseph went to bury his dad with his brothers and a lot of other people.

The Torah says when they reached Goren ha-Atad, which is on the other side of the Jordan, they made a “very grandiose and intense eulogy there.”

Joseph then designates a seven day period of mourning.

The sons of Jacob ensured they did exactly as their father instructed them to do; not a single Egyptian or a grandson to carry the coffin. Only Jacob’s sons carried it; except Levi and Joseph. Instead Joseph’s sons carried it.

They go and bury Jacob and then everyone went back to Egypt.

Rabbi Schneerson writes about this:

“What does it mean that “they saw that their father had died”? They recognized Jacob’s death in Joseph. They used to dine at Joseph’s table, and he was friendly towards them out of respect for his father. But after Jacob died, he ceased to be friendly toward them (Rashi)

Joseph’s brothers were all shepherds who enjoyed isolation because they found the world a distraction from their primary interests of Torah study and prayer. Joseph, on the other hand was able to remain strongly connected with God and, at the same time, be heavily involved in the running of a country.

When the brothers came to Egypt, they were no longer able to live a life of total seclusion, and they were forced to have more involvement with worldly matters. Consequently, their relationship with Joseph became crucial, as only Joseph was able to teach them how to live in the world without losing their spiritual sensitivities.

In this light we can see the split between Joseph and his brothers was actually the cause of the ensuing exile. For without the support of Joseph, the brothers eventually found themselves unable to harmonize their spiritual and physical lives.

From this you can learn how crucial it is that your moments of Torah study and prayer have a direct effect on everyday life- harnessing that inspiration towards the goal of spiritual- physical integration.”

I am really reflecting on Rabbi Schneersons words here. Torah study and prayer have a direct effect on every day life; the integration of spirituality and physicality.

Another big takeaway from all of this comes from the “Spiritual Vitamin” written in the version of the Torah I am reading;

“the descent of your soul is for the purpose of ascent. There is no other way to obtain this goal except through your soul’s descent to live on this earth. If there were an easier way, God would not compel your soul to descend from the sublime heights of the Seat of Glory down to this, the lowest of all worlds.”

I’m really reflecting on this idea of “going down” in order to “go up.”

The portion ends with the brothers noticing a change in Joseph after Jacob dies. They began to worry that Joseph would start hating them and pay them back for everything they had done.

They basically lied and created a plan to send messengers to Joseph to say “Your father instructed us before his death, saying ‘This is what you should say to Joseph, “Please, will you now forgive the wrongdoing of your brothers and their sin, that they did evil things to you.” So please will you now forgive the wrongdoing of the servants of the God of your father (for even though your father died, his God is alive).”

Upon hearing this, Joseph wept.

The brothers followed their messengers and came to Joseph, fell down in front of him and wept. “Look, we are your slaves!”

Joseph closes the portion today by saying “God only desires good for you; Am I instead of God? You planned to do bad things to me, but God had already intended that what you did to me should happen for good reasons…keeping a great number of people alive.”

This is something I’m really reflecting on; how all things happen for good reasons whether we understand them or not. I’m learning the temporary nature of our thoughts; that they come and go and we can’t hold on to a though longer than a few moments before our brain goes on to the next one. Yet, Hashem’s love for us is permanent.

That’s my thoughts for today.

What about you?