Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 18 Adar 1, 5784
Parsha Ki-Tissa: (Exodus 30:11 – 34:35)
Third Portion: Exodus 33:12 – 33:16

Good morning!  After yesterday’s long passage, we get a short one today, which is interesting to me. It’s almost like we get to digest what we learned.

The context of the Golden calf was significant. And Hashem’s response was both kind and harsh.  He withdrew His protection and told Moses He would not go with the people – but instead would send his angel ahead of them. The people were disappointed to say the least.  Moses met with Hashem.  Lets dig in:

12Moses said to the Lord: “Look, You say to me: ‘Bring this people up!’ But You have not informed me whom You will send with me. And You said: ‘I have known you by name and you have also found favor in My eyes.’

13And now, if I have indeed found favor in Your eyes, pray let me know Your ways, so that I may know You, so that I may find favor in Your eyes; and consider that this nation is Your people.”

Whoa. We just have the Golden Calf situation. Hashem is merciful with it. And Moses goes to God and says “Look, God….” And lodges a complaint. He holds God ACCOUNTABLE.

That’s gutsy, Moses.

And Moses lodges the complaint – immediately followed by softness.

It’s like “Look, God. You are making this tough for us. You said I have found favor in your eyes. This doesn’t FEEL like favor. This feels like punishment. So – given our natures – you are Hashem, and I am not? Help me to know you better.”

How does Hashem respond?

14So He said, “My Presence will go, and I will give you rest.”

Hashem receives the complaint and the request to know Him with peace.

Moses doesn’t seem satisfied though:

15And he said to Him, “If Your Presence does not go [with us], do not take us up from here.

16For how then will it be known that I have found favor in Your eyes, I and Your people? Is it not in that You will go with us? Then I and Your people will be distinguished from every [other] nation on the face of the earth.”

Moses basically says “I hear you Hashem – and – we aren’t going to leave here without YOU.” Moses doesn’t want Hashem to go. He wants Hashem to go WITH THEM.

What is our takeaway?

For me? Anger is safe.

If Moses can be angry with Hashem’s response after the Golden Calf? We can be angry with the Universe when we aren’t getting the things we believe we are supposed to. Hashem can handle it. As long as we are soft. And open.

We can say “Look, Hashem – I know abundance is coming – but I can’t pay rent this month. What is going on? What am I missing? I want to know you more. Let me know YOUR ways, Hashem (universe, source, etc).”  And. Then we can listen.

This is the takeaway. We don’t need to be afraid of our anger – provided we don’t REACT out of anger. Provided we remain SOFT – and OPEN.

This is the takeaway for me.  What are your thoughts?

Here are my Thoughts from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 14 Adar, 5783

Chag Sameach! Happy Purim! What a great day to celebrate our joy! For a primer on Purim, here is a great article:

https://www.chabad.org/…/645309/jewish/What-Is-Purim.htm

So, todays portion is really interesting as a juxtaposition to Purim.

Something I’ve been reflecting a lot about is the feeling of Betrayal. How do we, As human creations, handle the feeling of betrayal?

Moses felt a smidge betrayed by Hashem it would seem in this passage. And he petitioned Hashem about it.

I see this, and it brings me a sense of comfort that Hashem could handle Moses communicating how he was feeling. To be able to express to Hashem that we are feeling betrayed? That feels safe.

Hashem can be swayed by us. And we don’t have to repress our feelings to do this. In fact, Hashem seems to desire us to feel safe expressing all of our emotions.

How do we normally process the feelings of betrayal? When people we trust hurt us?

Do we hold onto that betrayal? Do we let it consume us?

In todays passage in Mark Nepo’s “the book of awakening” he shares the story of holding onto rice:

“There is an ancient story from China that makes all this very clear. It stems from the way traps were set for monkeys.

A coconut was hollowed out through an opening that was cut to the size of a monkey’s open hand. Rice was then placed in the carved-out fruit which was left in the path of the monkeys. Sooner or later, a hungry monkey would smell the rice and reach its hand in. But once fisting the rice, its hand could no longer fit back out through the opening. The monkeys that were caught were those who would not let go of the rice.

As long as the monkey maintained its grip on the rice, it was a prisoner of its own making. The trap worked because the monkey’s hunger was the master of its reach. The lesson for us is profound.

We need to always ask ourselves, What is our rice and what is keeping us from opening our grip and letting it go?”

Betrayal. Betrayal is our rice. At least for me it is. I reflect on all the times I have felt betrayed; going all the way back to when I was 5, 8, 14, etc. how much I just hold onto that betrayal. I collect the evidence of betrayal like charms on a necklace around my neck. And over time, that necklace turns into a heavy chain that holds me down and holds me back.

It’s time to let go. To bring our feelings of betrayal to Hashem. He can handle it.

And. As the Torah portion mentions today; he can “give us rest from our enemies.” How amazing would it be ti have rest from the repressed betrayal we are holding onto?

What are your thoughts?

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 14 Adar I, 5782

As we continue with Parsha Ki Tissa’ today we have a very short portion.

After the events of the golden calf, and the events of establishing the tent of meeting, and God telling Moses He wasn’t going with them anymore, but He would send an angel instead, we have Moses inquiring of Hashem:

“Look. You say to me: ‘Bring this people up!’ But you have not informed me whom You will send with me (besides the angel, who I do not desire), and yet You said: ‘I have distinguished you (from all other people) by (a special) name and you have also found favor in My eyes!’

Let’s stop here. Moses is kind of being a little punk telling God he didn’t want the angel to go with him; don’t ya think? Maybe? Unless Moses was really saying he wanted GOD to go with him and was upset over that. It was a communication that he wanted the source of life to guide them and not just an angel. But let’s continue Moses asks God;

“Now if I have indeed found favor in Your eyes, please let me know Your methods (of reward) so that I may know (what) You(r rewards are) and (I can appreciate what) finding favor in Your eyes (means). (My reward will be through) this nation, Your people (and not through a new nation).”

Moses is making a case to Hashem, that God should be the one to go with them and not the angel, because they are God’s people. And God does seem to agree:

“He (God) said, “(Instead of an angel), My Presence will go (with you), and I will give you rest (from your enemies)”

So God agrees with Moses.

My takeaway here is that God’s heart can be swayed. He is unchanging AND at the same time he can be persuaded to go in a different direction.

Todays portion closes with Moses pushing God even a little more. God has already told Moses He would go with them. But Moses makes the point deeper;

He (Moses) said to Him, “If Your Presence does not go with us, do not take us onwards from here. For how else will it be known that I have found favor in You eyes, I and Your people? Is it not by Your going with us? Then I and Your people will be distinguished from every other nation on the face of the earth.”

Wow. Ok, Moses; way to be bold! Honestly, reading this? I feel like Moses is pushing too hard. That God will get angry because Moses is speaking like this to Him. We will have to wait until tomorrow to see what God’s response is.

What are your thoughts? How do you feel or react to the way Moses is speaking to Hashem? Would we dare speak to Hashem like that? Obviously we aren’t Moses, and we don’t know if we have found favor in God’s eyes. But still.

Let me know your thoughts!