Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 1 Kislev, 5785

Good morning! We are beginning a new month today!  The month of Kislev. I shared a link yesterday to a beautiful article on the energetics.

The key concept about Kislev? Beauty.  And what is the secret of beauty? Here’s what the article brings up:

Beauty – Tiferet – is harmony within diversity. Beauty always consists of the joining of two opposites. Anything beautiful is always multifaceted, but the diverse forces are symmetrically aligned.

The blending of opposites. In Kabbalah – we have Wisdom and Understanding coming together in beautiful knowledge. We have strength and loving-kindness coming together in tenderness and harmony. We have Victory and Surrender coming together in a foundational and stable grounding to live each moment as it comes.

This is what Kislev is about. More from the article:

As we begin the third month of the year we enter the energy of balance and beauty. But not just plain beauty: Kislev is the harmony that emerges after chaos. [As opposed to the month of Sivan, the harmony that has not yet ‘tasted’ discord]. Even when we experience the clash of diverse forces in our lives – within ourselves, between our communities and between nations – this new month, with its holidays, all rooted in Chanukah, empowers us with the ability to find the deeper harmony within.

This month is all about the harmony that comes after chaos. The order of life that comes to life during this cycle. And what is really beautiful about it? The full moon happens as normal, but the transition from Kislev to Tevet (which happens on the evening of December 31st)? It happens during the light of Hanukkah.  Hanukkah always bridges these two months together. Instead of the light of the moon? We get our inner light moving us to light more and more candles as we navigate the new moon. This harmony is a culmination with Jews from around the world. There is a lot to be excited about this month!

The article also gives us one more nugget. How? How do we discover the harmony and diversity within us?

We need to be truthful to ourselves and to G‑d. We need bitul – a combination of self-suspension, modesty and humility.

And therein lies the true secret of tiferet. In addition to beauty, tiferet is also related to emet (truth). Truth means that it is true not just in one circumstance, environment or set of conditions, but in all of them. If it is true it has to be true throughout – in the beginning, middle and end (hence, the three letters of EMeT, aleph, mem, tov, the first, middle and last letters of the Hebrew Alphabet).

So truth is what guides us. In order for something to be “true” it needs to be true in all circumstances. May that be our discovery in this new month!

The Torah portion today covers Jacob meeting Rachel at the well. I wrote a year ago how Jacob may have been trying to control the situation more than allowing the universe (Hashem) to unfold it FOR Jacob. And? It worked out exactly as it should have. Jacob did nothing wrong. He is learning just as much as the rest of us.

So as we begin this journey of Harmony? What truths are we learning?

To summarize:

What are your thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 7 Kislev, 5784
Parsha Vayeitzei (Genesis 28:10 – 32:3)
Second Portion: Genesis 29:1 – 29:17

Good morning! It is the end of the first week of Kislev. May your week have been full of diversity and beauty!  As we enter into the second quarter of the cycle, may the light continue to grow and shine until the full moon!

In addition, it is Thanksgiving week in America.  There is all sorts of controversy about Thanksgiving and its origins. However, as we add to the week and our spiritual journey? May we focus on gratitude – and what in our lives we are grateful for. In this moment. And not be stuck in a future that has not unfolded yet!

Let’s get back to the moment in the Torah where Jacob has just built a monument after leaving Isaac.

1Now Jacob lifted his feet and went to the land of the people of the East.

2And he looked, and behold! a well in the field, and behold! three flocks of sheep lying beside it, because from that well they would water the flocks, and a huge rock was upon the mouth of the well.

3And all the flocks would gather there, and they would roll the rock off the mouth of the well and water the sheep, and [then] they would return the rock onto the mouth of the well, to its place.

4And Jacob said to them, “My brothers, where are you from?” And they said, “We are from Haran.”

5And he said to them, “Do you know Laban the son of Nahor?” And they said, “We know [him].”

Jacob set out from the well on a mission. He was committed. He was leaving his old life. He had left Isaac for Padam Aram to find a wife. He was committed to that journey. 

There is a bit of confusion here though. Jacob was supposed to go to Padam Aram where he was to meet Laban. But here, he arrives at Haran. 

Let’s go back a bit to Genesis 11:31&32:

31And Terah took Abram his son and Lot the son of Haran, his grandson, and Sarai his daughter in law, the wife of Abram his son, and they went forth with them from Ur of the Chaldees to go to the land of Canaan, and they came as far as Haran and settled there.

32And the days of Terah were two hundred and five years, and Terah died in Haran

Remember – we had a bit of confusion here to when we went through this. Because this was the place Abram left. This is where his father died.

This is an important place as it is where Isaac’s servant found Rebecca. It’s the hub. 

The idea is that Haran is a CITY in Padan-Aram which does alleviate some confusion here.

The bottom line? Jacob realizes he has arrived at his destination.

6And he said to them, “[Are things going] well with him?” And they said, “[Things are going] well, and behold, his daughter Rachel is coming with the sheep.”

7And he said, “The day is yet long; it is not the time to take in the livestock. Water the sheep and go, pasture.”

8And they said, “We cannot [do that], until all the flocks are gathered together, and they will roll the rock off the mouth of the well, and we shall [then] water the sheep.”

9While he was still talking with them, Rachel came with her father’s sheep, for she was a shepherdess.

What was Jacob’s mission? Finding a wife. This is what he was sent to do by his father Isaac. (Genesis28:6): “And Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob and sent him away to Padan aram, to take himself a wife from there, and that when he blessed him, he commanded him, saying, “You shall not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan.”

So here we are with Jacob – at the well. Jacob is asking how Laban is doing. And they mentioned Rachel was coming with the sheep.  Jacob’s response? Everyone – scoot. Leave. Give me some privacy with Rachel!

Lol. Ahhhh Jacob. I can relate.  And. Hashem had his back.  Because he wasn’t MEANT to be alone with Rachel.  Jacob got focused on himself. And not what Hashem may have been doing. This is interesting context before getting into the love triangle of Rachel, Leah and Jacob – isn’t it?

AND. Could this be the crux of how we end up in Egypt? In slavery? What would have happened if Jacob just let the universe unfold – be curious – instead of trying to control?

Ok. So the people didn’t leave. Jacob didn’t get what he wanted. And here comes Rachel…..

10And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel, the daughter of Laban, his mother’s brother and the sheep of Laban, his mother’s brother, that Jacob drew near and rolled the rock off the mouth of the well, and he watered the sheep of Laban, his mother’s brother.

11And Jacob kissed Rachel, and he raised his voice and wept.

Um. Jacob.  It seems like you aren’t listening. You are getting hyper focused on Rachel. You didn’t listen to the men around you. You didn’t wait until all the flocks were gathered. Let’s revisit what the men said.  You weren’t listening, Jacob:

8And they said, “We cannot [do that], until all the flocks are gathered together, and they will roll the rock off the mouth of the well, and we shall [then] water the sheep.”

Jacob didn’t wait. He rolled the rock from the well instead of waiting for all the flocks to be gathered. And then he kissed Rachel.

Talk about missing the point! And? Instead of being curious? This is where Jacob judged. He believed Rachel was the answer. He didn’t see what was happening around him.  He reacted to Rachel and ignored the Universe. He ignored Hashem.

Let’s keep going:

12And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father’s kinsman and that he was Rebecca’s son, and she ran and told her father.

13Now it came to pass when Laban heard the report of Jacob, his sister’s son, that he ran towards him, and he embraced him, and he kissed him, and he brought him into his house. He told Laban all these happenings.

14And Laban said to him, “Indeed, you are my bone and my flesh.” And so he stayed with him a full month.

15And Laban said to Jacob, “Because you are my kinsman, should you work for me gratis? Tell me what your wages shall be.”

16Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.

17Leah’s eyes were tender, but Rachel had beautiful features and a beautiful complexion.

So – had Jacob just waited. Been curious about Rachel – and see where things unfolded? How might this situation played out differently? Would Jacob have seen Leah differently?

That’s what I am seeing. Jacob REACTED to Rachel. And – again, he was excited that the Universe/Hashem was paying off so clearly right away. He had good motives – but was hyperfocused on a destination, wasn’t he?

And Jacob stayed with Laban. Worked for free. He was still free at this time, wasn’t he?

But Laban asked him a question – “what will your wages be?”

This put Jacob in a position to communicate to Laban – what matters. How does Jacob define worth? 

And that last verse. We seem to be getting a set up – What is our value? What matters:

• Tenderness?
• Physical Beauty?

We know the Torah is talking about “fleshly” beauty because it focuses on features and complexion. What did Jacob need?  What did Jacob want?  This is where things are left off for today.

What is our takeaway?  I think the choice is about love? Freedom?

We have to decide what our wages are. We are free, yes. But the wages we will be paid? That is a question Hashem leaves to us.

What will we choose? Tenderness or Beauty? Of course – there is beauty in the tenderness! But that is not the fullness of this question. It should cause us to pause and ask what it is we really desire?

Me? I am learning the importance of tenderness. Pliability. Adaptability. Not being a train on tracks – but being curious as to how things are unfolding. To stop and be soft. That is tenderness.

How are we avoiding tenderness this morning? How are we being tender this morning?