Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 20 Adar II, 5784
Parsha Tzav – “Command”: (Leviticus 6:1 – 8:36)
Seventh Portion: Leviticus 8:30 – 8:36
Shabbat Shalom! As we move into today’s final portion, it has been some week of initiation, hasn’t it? I keep coming back to the question; who are we investing in to be in a place of rank and honor? Do we give OTHERS more rank and honor than we give ourselves?
Aaron – the high priest – is being anointed. As we enter into the holy days of Passover in a few weeks, who is anointed in this moment in your heart and soul? Who is sovereign? What sovereignty have we tried to take from others? What sovereignty have we sacrificed for others?
Let’s dig in:
30And Moses took some of the anointing oil and some of the blood that was on the altar, and he sprinkled it on Aaron and on his garments, and on his sons, and on his sons’ garments, and he sanctified Aaron, his garments, his sons and his sons’ garments with him.
After anointing Aaron and his sons – putting the blood of the “Ram of Investiture” on their bodies:
The blood goes on our right ear. We are called to LISTEN.
The blood goes on our right thumb. We are called to ACT.
The blood goes on our right big toe. We are called to MOVE.
Moses THEN takes the blood and sprinkles it on Aaron’s garments. Moses ANNOINTED the clothes of the high priests. Our clothes as high priests? Or skin. The boundary between within and external. Our garments – our skin – has ALSO been anointed.
31And Moses said to Aaron and to his sons, “Cook the flesh at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting and eat it there, and the bread that is in the basket of the investiture offerings, as I have commanded, saying, ‘Aaron and his sons shall eat it.’
32And whatever is left over from the flesh and the bread, you shall burn in fire.
Moses is bestowing rank and honor. He now gives Aaron and his sons tasks – cook the flesh and eat. Consume it. Eat the bread.
What is the meat and bread? The Torah.
And when we are done? Let it go. (No, we are not to burn the Torah in the fire).
Here’s the message.
The Torah? It’s overwhelming.
There’s a lot here.
And. Hashem is clear.
Eat what you can. Digest what you can. Don’t stuff your face. Don’t be greedy. Just eat.
And let go of what you don’t.
It’s ok. We are NOT moving towards a “final exam” on the Torah. We don’t have to be perfect here. The High Priest wasn’t perfect. He couldn’t eat it all. What makes US think we CAN?
This is our wound.
Let’s go:
33And you shall not leave the entrance of the Tent of Meeting for seven days, until the day of the completion of your investiture days, he will inaugurate you for seven days.
34As he did on this day, so the Lord has commanded to do, to effect atonement for you.
35And you shall stay day and night for seven days at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting. You shall observe the Lord’s command, so that you will not die, for thus I was commanded.
36And Aaron and his sons did all the things that the Lord commanded through Moses.
There are seven days of inauguration. Think about it. What they didn’t consume the first day? They could burn up and let go, sleep well, wake up the next day and dig in again. It’s a slow process.
We want quick fixes, don’t we?
We get slow. Steady.
The journey here is a slow one.
When shifting from sacrificing our OWN sovereignty for those of OTHERS? It’s going to take some time to shift back. And that’s ok.
These are my thoughts. What are yours?
Here are my thoughts from two years ago:
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 10 Nisan, 5783
Shabbat Shalom! Today we finish up our Parsha. A year ago we were talking about an inauguration.
This year I’m reflecting on what we are spiritually being inaugurated into. Generally this idea is connected to sovereignty. I’m currently at a gathering of educators who are working on diversity, equity, inclusion and anti-racism work. We had an interesting conversation about how trauma and collective trauma play a role in how as a society we have a lot of this collective trauma stored within the fabric of culture.
If we look at ourselves in the individual state we find ourselves in, each of us has stored traumas within us. Most of us choose to protect and hide this trauma from the world, mostly by hiding it from ourselves. We try and pretend it never happened. And instead of helping ourselves, we end up giving pieces of our sovereignty away to these moments in our lives that no longer exist in the present moment.
I’m also reflecting on how we also how we hold on to positive moments and cling to those as “how things could be.”
All of this takes us away from our own sovereignty in each moment.
I wrote this in my quiet time:
These are my thoughts in our journey to be spiritually liberated.
What do you think?
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 16 Adar II, 5782
Shabbat Shalom! Today is a restful day and I hope we are all finding ways to unplug from the week and connect internally with ourselves and with Hashem!
Todays portion finishes up the first part of the inauguration. Next week brings it to a close (I think – I haven’t read ahead).
Today we find Moses taking anointing oil and some of the blood that was on the altar; and sprinkled some of it on Aaron and his garments, on his sons and their garments. Moses sanctifies Aaron and his garments and his sons and their garments.
Moses then tells Aaron to cook the meat at the entrance to the tent of meeting and eat it there with the bread in the basket of the inauguration offerings. They were to burn whatever is left over from the meat and the bread into the fire.
Now; comes the tough part. Moses tells Aaron and his sons – do not leave the entrance of the tent for SEVEN DAYS. They were to stay there seven days; and get this: they were do everything they did on day 1, for ALL SEVEN DAYS! Moses tells them it is to atone for them. It was a matter of life or death according to Moses.
And Aaron and his sons did everything that God commanded them through Moses.
Wow.
That is a lot to go through to be inaugurated.
Something I’m reflecting on though – was it really? How much do we go through with one another – romantic partners, friends, kids- to build a level of trust. Hashem asked Aaron and his sons to do these things for seven days. And although culturally today it’s hard for us to fathom this; doing so for seven days and then basically being entrusted by Hashem to take care of the tabernacle and the spiritual needs of the people? It doesn’t seem to big (at least in my opinion).
It’s an important lesson as we continue in Leviticus. We started the book discussing how sacrifice is important to Hashem. But we don’t look inward and say “I’m going to sacrifice what I want to sacrifice.” We look to Hashem and see what HE REQUIRES of us.
Something this week I read (and journaled about – putting my edited notes below) out of the “book of awakening” by Mark Nepo was the following:
“Accept this gift, so I can see myself as giving.”
How often do we give for selfish reasons? Just because I want to believe I’m a giving person?
Back to the passage:
“I have been learning that the life of a caretaker is as addictive as the life of an alcoholic. Here the intoxication is the emotional relief that temporarily comes when answering a loved one’s need.”
Wow. Are we “sacrificing” to Hashem because we get emotional relief from it, or because we are doing what he desires? Is it the rush we get that drives it; our His desires?
Back to the passage:
“Though it never lasts, in the moment of answering someone’s need, we feel loved. While much good can come from this, especially for those the caretaker attends, the care itself becomes a drink by which we briefly numb a worthlessness that won’t go away unless constantly doused by another shot of self-sacrifice.”
Wow. To think our desire to help could become a drink which we briefly numb a worthlessness is something to reflect on. How can we approach God and still feel worthless? It seems impossible and yet we do this.
And think about this in our relationships with each other. We don’t feel worthy to be with our spouse/romantic partner/friend so we give give give to fulfill a need inside of us that numbs the pain of our own worthlessness. We are sacrificing for the wrong reasons.
Back to the passage:
“It all tightens until what others need is anticipated beyond what is real, and then, without any true need being voiced, an anxiety to respond builds that can only be relieved if something is offered or done.”
I feel really convicted of this. Meeting needs even when a true need isn’t being voice. Hashem tells us what He needs – and yet we somehow believe He has needs that have not been given a voice. That’s not what He wants from us.
Back to the passage:
“At the heart of this is the ever-present worry that unless doing something for another there is no possibility of being loved. So the needs of others stand within reach like bottles behind a bar that, try as he or she will, the caretaker cannot resist.”
Wow. I can’t be loved unless I’m doing something for another. That is really impactful. This is also something I think we project onto Hashem. We (wrongly) believe that we are to bring our sacrifices SO THAT Hashem will love us and it will make us worthy. However, we are ALREADY worthy, and Hashem wants us to share our lives with Him BECAUSE we are worthy. The sacrifices didn’t make us worthy; they were outpourings of how we were ACTUALLY created – almost like saying “Hashem we are worthy, but we’ve done things that went against how we were created; because we are worthy, you have asked us to be reconciled to you through these particular sacrifices.” That’s a nuance that seems very critical!
More from the passage:
“I have experienced this even in the simple issue of calling a loved one while away from home. Even when no one expects to hear from me, I can agonize over whether to call. Often, unable to withstand the discomfort of not registering some evidence of my love, I will end up going to great lengths to call.”
“Registering evidence of our love.” I’m just chewing on that. How often with others are we looking to register evidence of our love for them? Hashem doesn’t want that. He knows we love Him when we do, and He knows when we don’t. There doesn’t need to be evidence.
Back to the passage:
“In truth, caretaking, though seeming quite generous, is very self-serving, and its urgent self-centeredness prevents a life of genuine compassion. In all honesty, to heal from this requires as rigorous a program of recovery as alcoholics enlist, including sponsors who will love us for who we are.”
“Caretaking is self-serving and it’s urgent self centered news prevents a life of genuine compassion.“
And healing from this requires a rigorous program similar to what an alcoholic enlists!
We need sponsors who will love us for who we are.
We need sponsors who will love us for who we are.
So; readers; who are your sponsors who love us for who you are?
Hashem is most certainly a sponsor – and the book of Leviticus demonstrates His love for us for who we are. He doesn’t expect perfection from us. He knows we will make mistakes. And provides us a way to stay connected!
Closing the passage;
“Within one’s self, the remedy of spirit that allows for true giving resides somewhere in the faith to believe that each of us is worthy of love, just as we are.”
Here is the solution. The faith to believe that each of us is worthy of love: just as we are.
Just. As. We. Are.
These passages about the sacrifices are ALL intended to demonstrate Hashem loves us just as we are.
Wow.
What are your thoughts, friends?
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