Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 21 Sivan, 5783

Shabbat Shalom! May today be a day of rest and peace for us all!

Today’s portion is really insightful.  We start with a focus on cravings.  The Israelites were craving meat.  I ask myself – what do I crave?  What even is a “craving?” The definition says this: “a powerful desire for something.”

What are we craving?  WHY are we craving?

For me, I reflect on this idea of “powerful desire.”  I believe as a society, as a culture, we have rejected this idea.  We repress this idea.  Why? Why are we called to reject our cravings?

My first thought is because “what we crave is unhealthy.”  If I crave Pizza – and I consume a lot of pizza, that isn’t going to be good for me in the long run.  Maybe I will eat enough pizza that I will no longer crave it?  But it never get to the heart of – WHY am I craving pizza?

Then I think – what if I crave something that is SUPER healthy?  Like craving exercise? I know people who ACTUALLY want to run 7 marathons in 7 days.  They crave it.  That seems SUPER Healthy.  We judge our cravings.

And maybe that’s the issue.  Maybe we need to get CURIOUS about our cravings?

Why am I craving pizza? Is it because I don’t feel safe emotionally and I am needing comfort and my body and brain have learned in the past pizza brings comfort?

Why am I craving exercise? Is it because I don’t feel safe physically and my body and brain have gotten together to drive me to exercise so I can feel safer in my body?

What about Craving Torah?

Why don’t we CRAVE Torah the way we crave Pizza? Exercise? Alcohol?

This is what I am chewing on today.  I confess. I have stronger cravings than studying Torah.  Why?

This morning as I was journaling about this – I think one of my strongest desires is the desire to be creative.  And not just to be creative on my own.  But to create with others.  To co-create. To create in community.  If I reflect on “why” and keep asking myself “why do I crave this” it keeps leading me back to this idea of wanting to create.  I have a powerful desire to create.  Why?

The answer to THAT question seems to be – “my purpose on this earth is to create. To co-create. To create in community.”

Why do I crave eating junk? Because I want comfort. why do I want comfort? Because I’m not feeling safe in my body. Why am I not feeling safe in my body?  I’m lonely. I’m bored. I’m unhappy. Why am I feeling lonely?  Especially when people are around me. I have friends. I have children. Because when I am with these people? I am just a bystander in many ways. I am just watching and observing.  I am not creating. I am not co-creating.

Unless I am.  Last night, I sat down to draw with my 5 and 7 year old.  We made pictures that hang up in my apartment.  I didn’t crave anything else in those moments than more of that.

This is what I am talking about.  WHY are we craving?

And today’s portion is all about burying our cravings.  Putting them aside to get at the true purpose in our life. Hashem. Torah.

Spiritual Liberation.  This is the strong desire (in my opinion) that exists in all of us.  And yet, we repress this and other desires because we don’t feel capable of spiritual liberation. We don’t feel worthy of spiritual liberation. We don’t feel.

Our cravings distract us. Numb us. Help us avoid what we are truly missing in our lives.  Some of us become aware of this. Others don’t.  No judgment.  Because those of us who become aware of this, cycle back to distraction and numbness.

What is your ultimate craving? What other cravings are keeping you away from it? What cravings do we need to bury today?

These are my thoughts.  what are yours?

This is what I wrote on the portion a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 19 Sivan, 5782

Shabbat Shalom! My hope is we experience the light of the Shabbat candles, the joy of the Shabbat grapes, and the provision of the Shabbat challah on this day of rest. As we continue our journey towards freedom and liberation, rest is a key concept to avoid burning out. May we find rest today!

Yesterday we ended with Eldad and Medad prophesying in the camp and people were kind of freaking out about it. Moses told them this was a good thing and we should all be prophets that God would place His spirit on us!

God had spoken his punishment for the complaints of the Israelites. He was going to have us eat so much meat it would come out our nostrils!

Moses left the tent of meeting to go to the camp. God made a wind that blew all the quails to fly from the sea and they were spread all over the camp. The Torah records there was so much quail they extended “a days journey” around the camp. Meaning from the center of camp to the end of where the quail were would have taken a day to get there on foot!

People were busy catching the quail- all day and all night, and the Torah records God made it so they were easy to catch. Even the one who collected the least collected 10 homer of quail.

They ate, and the Torah tells us the meat was still between their teeth when God’s anger raged against the people and he struck them with a severe plague.

People died. They were buried. the place was called “graves of craving” since the people who died were all the ones who craved.

It’s interesting; Rabbi Azariah Figo writes, “should the name have been Graves of those who craved?” Why was it “Graves of Craving?” He writes; because the people who survived were so moved, their cravings were buried in that place. I think that is crucial to consider. We are not our cravings.

The Torah continues with the story of Miriam criticizing Moses. This is one of the six remembrances we recite each day in davening. Remember what God did to Moses in the desert; so we should be paying special attention here.

The story begins with Miriam and Aaron speaking critically about Moses regarding his divorce. They basically criticized Moses because Miriam and Aaron heard from God as well, but they were still married. Moses was not.

And. God. Heard.

Some interesting writing about this:

Rashi writes: It was as obvious that she was beautiful as the fact that a Cushite’s skin is black.

In the Torah – black is beautiful. So – keep this in mind given the horrible history of how the Bible has been used to oppress black people in the world.

As an aside, I am struck by how much Jews and Black folx share in terms of histories. The tragedy, the oppression. And yet as Jews, we can be SUPER racist. I remember growing up as a kid in synagogue surrounded by racial strife from the Jews in our temple. It’s just something I’m reflecting on.  Please don’t hear me say “all Jews are bigots.”  It’s just been my experience that we can be pretty judgmental of others. Anyway – back to the portion:

Rabbi Abraham ibn Ezra writes:

“Zipporah was a Midianite, and the Midianites are Ishmaelites who live in tents. Due to exposure to the sun, their skin has no whiteness at all. So Zipporah was black, like a Cushite.

Miriam rejected the idea that Moses had separated from his wife to achieve prophecy, for both she and Aaron were prophets and yet enjoyed a marital relationship. So Miriam “spoke critically about Moses” insinuating that he had really refrained from being with her because she was unattractive to him.”

Finally, the midrash says this:

“Moses had fled from Egypt during a nine-year siege when King Nikanos was attempting to regain control of Cush, his own territory, which Balaam had usurped in his absence of war.

Moses found favor in their eyes-the king, all of the officers, and the whole military force adored him. The king was very fond of him and appointed him commander over the army.

Moses remained there for a long time, until King Nikanos contracted an illness and died.

His servants raised Moses to the office of king, and they gave him the wife of Nikanos, But Moses remembered the covenant of God and did not come close to her. He placed a sword in the bed between himself and her, and he did not sin with her.

After Moses successfully reconquered Cush, he ruled as king over Cush for forty years. One day the queen said to the officials, “This ruler has never come close to me, Please, install over you a descendant of Nikanos. Do not let a stranger rule over you!

They said to Moses, “Pick out for yourself some riches and goods and depart from us and “l return to your homeland in peace.” So, Moses left for the land of Midian.

Let’s get back to the Torah. God heard Miriam and Aaron, and the Torah writes that Moses was extremely humble – more than any person on earth. This is what we should aspire to be!

God appeared suddenly to all three (Moses, Miriam, and Aaron) and told them to go to the tent of meeting.

They did and God appeared in a cloud- he called Aaron and Miriam towards him.

He whispered to them privately “When someone among you experiences prophecy, I, God will make Myself know to him only in a vision, or speak to him in a dream.”. God tells Miriam and Aaron, “But this is not the case with Moses; among my entire household he is the most trusted. It was I who told him mouth to mouth to separate from his wife, in a vision of clarity where every word was made known and not in riddles. When I speak to him, he gazes at the image of God from behind. So why were you not afraid to speak about my servant, Moses?”

Imagine gossiping about someone about getting a divorce, and God himself comes to you clearly and says “look, I trust that guy more than anyone else – why are you not afraid to speak against him?”

If we know someone has a connection to the universe – to God, and we can see God acting in their lives, there is a question to be asked internally about whether we are afraid to speak against them or not.

This is NOT to say we shouldn’t speak against them. It’s to say we should have fear. We better make sure we know what we are talking about before saying something. A gut feeling may not be enough.

The Torah continues and tells us God became angry with Aaron and Miriam and left.

When the cloud rose, it was revealed that Miriam had Tzara’at.

Aaron finally speaks – he begs Moses to forgive them for their foolishness.

Almost immediately, with no debate, Moses cries out to God asking Him to heal Miriam.

God heard Moses, but pushes back. Instead of just healing Miriam, he tells Moses “if her father spit in her face, wouldn’t she be humiliated and not show herself for seven days? Let her be quarantined for seven days and then she may be brought back.”

While these seven days were happening, the people did not travel. They waited.

So why do we remember this? Why are we called to remember this every day?

I think it’s a valuable lesson in not gossiping. Whispering about divorce, and speculating as to what happened is not productive. God basically told Moses to leave his wife. All the speculation about why Moses left was really just questioning God’s choice of trusting Moses.

Things happen for our good; including divorce. This is not to say God likes divorce. This is to say even divorce is for our good. When things like divorce happen; or other hard (or what we might judge for ourselves as “bad”) things, my friend Rabbi Meir has challenged many to consider the following; “don’t consider this as something God or another human being doing “to you.” Consider this as being something God is doing “for you.””

We should ask ourselves, how is what I am experiencing going to produce good in me? For my benefit?

This is the remembrance of Miriam, in my opinion. Every day we should be asking “why is this happening for me?” Instead of “why is this happening to me?”

What are your thoughts?

As always, Haftorah portion thoughts below:

Todays Haftorah is Zechariah 2:14-4:7

The Haftorah today starts with Zechariah comforting the people by telling them God was going to dwell with them in Jerusalem. God says other nations will want to connect with God, but he will dwell in the midst of the Jews.

Zechariah warns the nations; “Be silent before God, all you nations! Never again speak badly of the Jewish people, for then He will be roused from His holy abode to exact retribution on the nations.”

He then turns to the Jewish people and tells them to make sure they walk in the ways of the Torah, and then Messiah will come.

It is a very Jewish belief that we, as Jews, can do mitzvahs and bring about Messiah. The idea that we can have impact on Messiah coming is a pretty powerful idea.

What are your thoughts?