Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 21 Tevet, 5785

Greetings. It is amazing to me how the Torah lives itself out in our lives on a regular basis.

Fear is safe.

That was the message I wrote about last year.

Fear is safe.

And do you know what I navigated yesterday?

Fear.

You see, on my way to work yesterday, my 18 year old van decided to stop working (likely an alternator).  So much so, that on a snowy back road, I could not even get my van off the road and to the side.

I’ll confess. I was afraid.

I started by calling AAA.  And my fingers were already getting cold. It was a challenge.

I got a hold of someone – and I got disconnected.

Someone pulled over to help me. The problem was, I could not get the gears into neutral because the hole to override the lock was too small for anything he or I had. I could tell he felt bad. He left, and I called AAA back.

They answered, and asked if I was safe. I explained, I was safe, this was urgent, but not an emergency. They listened. They prioritized a tow truck.  But I was beginning to be afraid. Because it was going to be a while before they got there.  The dispatcher said if it got too cold, to call 911 for police support.

Someone else pulled over and used a lollipop stick to unlock the gear shifter and pushed me off the side of the road to make things more safe. You see, I did not have hazards – so I was pretty vulnerable.

I called a friend in Cooperstown, and she drove down the hill to get me. She was going to be 45 minutes.

This situation pushed all my buttons.

Transportation insecurity. No heat. My role as a dad is around giving rides to the kids. And all I have is an unreliable vehicle and can’t even get to work.

As it got colder, I had gloves and a hat, so that part of me was warm. My legs and feet and toes? Not so much.

Fear.

Fear of how I was going to afford to fix the van.

Fear of whether I was going to even have the chance of fixing the van.

Fear how my kids would reject me because I could not give them rides.

Fear.

And I was reminded – fear is safe.

And about 2 minutes before I broke down and called 911 (which was about an hour after I had stalled), I saw the tow truck AND my friend arrive at the same time.

Fear is safe.

I was able to make it to work. Get warmed up, and have a different friend give me a ride home.

Fear is safe.

Moses was afraid Pharaoh wouldn’t listen to him.

Fear is safe.

I was listening to more from the Gene Keys (hard to believe a year ago I was just starting this journey) and Richard Rudd (who wrote the frame work) said this; “The only stable ground we can find is establishing insecurity as our security.”

This deepens the learning that fear is safe.

The lesson here is that our relationship to the Universe. Our relationship to fear? Anger? Sadness? That can unlock a lot of abundance.

I saw my limitations (like an unstable vehicle) as doorways. I have always (in my arrogance and pride) rejected the idea of limitations. “Unlimited” is how I saw myself. And in many ways I am. And? The reality? I am limited.

By accepting my limitations, I open doorways for abundance. I tried to overcome these limitations. And it produced frustration. I denied this reality.

I am limited. And I am not.

Limitations are opportunities for abundance to come in.

Or they are doors to protect to keep abundance out.

This isn’t financial. It’s emotional. It’s spiritual. It’s love.

This is my takeaway today.

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 28 Tevet 5784
Parsha Va-‘Era’: (Exodus 6:2 – 9:35)
Third Portion: Exodus 6:29 -7:7

Good morning!  Tomorrow night is the new moon – the beginning of a new cycle. We are coming out of the time of chaos and repair. And we are heading into a time of order and; harshness until the full moon – and then blessing as the full moon fades back to the new.

It’s a great time to set intents for ourselves – to hold onto during the next cycle.

• What has been repaired this past month? What do we want to hold onto and continue focusing on that will be STRENGTHENED by the harshness?
• How is the Harshness we are facing DESIGNED to refine the repairs made?
• What blessing do we desire with this new repair?

Yesterday, we left off with many incredible lessons.  Today’s portion begins in the middle of a sentence – verse 28 starts it – but 29 completes it.  Here is what I wrote yesterday:

And now – how beautiful – this is how today’s portion ends:

 28Now it came to pass on the day that the Lord spoke to Moses in the land of Egypt,

 I believe the Torah is affirming this message to us. We are Moses. Hashem is speaking to US.

 Allow ourselves to feel anger and wrath. We will heal. Going to a dry and painful place and getting out of our trauma comfort? That’s the path forward.

Are we ready to go to the dry and painful place? THIS is what the first two weeks will bring in this next moon cycle. We can choose to delay (the Israelites did) or we can take the journey within to this dry and painful place to engage our wrath and anger in a healthy way. To leave our trauma comfort and heal. And this is the completion of this idea:

29that the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “I am the Lord. Speak to Pharaoh everything that I speak to you.”

Hashem is saying to us. Great! You ready? LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Moses, you are going to lead us, RIGHHHTTT????

30But Moses said before the Lord, “Behold, I am of closed lips; so how will Pharaoh hearken to me?”

*Facepalm*

Moses RESISTS. And we can judge Moses for this resistance. Or we can receive it. The Torah sees us. Feels us. Loves us. Because the Torah knows us.

We DESIRE to do what we need to do to heal. AND we doubt. This trauma comfort is STRONG in us. Going to the painful dry place? We get in our own way.  How will Hashem respond? Will he strike Moses down with anger?  “You petulant fool! How many times do I need to argue with you before you get this??? Come on dude, just trust me.”

No. That’s not how this unfolds. Let’s see:

7:1The Lord said to Moses, “See! I have made you a lord over Pharaoh, and Aaron, your brother, will be your speaker.

Hashem reminds Moses of his POWER. Moses was afraid.

I have been learning the past few days from friends who are sharing the concept of “Gene Keys” – and something I heard and was unlocked for me? “Fear is Safe.” If you want to know more? I have a host of experts who do this work – and are AMAZING! Email me at tyler@tikkunolam47.com and I will connect you.

Fear. Is. Safe.

The Torah reinforces this idea. The Universe sees our fear. And instead of STRIKING US DOWN because of our fear? The Torah reminds us of our POWER!

Fear. Is. Safe.

My opinion? Because its honest. It’s true. Convincing ourselves we aren’t afraid? That’s survival. And not to be judged. But it’s an ark that becomes a prison.

The dry and painful place is seeing our own fears. Feeling safe in our fear. Will we go there on our own? Or will our hearts continue to harden?  Let’s keep going:

2You shall speak all that I command you, and Aaron, your brother, shall speak to Pharaoh, that he let the children of Israel out of his land.

3But I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and I will increase My signs and My wonders in the land of Egypt.

4But Pharaoh will not hearken to you, and I will lay My hand upon the Egyptians, and I will take My legions, My people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt with great judgments.

Moses was afraid Pharaoh wouldn’t listen to him.

Hashem said “dude. I know. I am not ASKING YOU TO MAKE PHARAOH LISTEN TO YOU!”

This was what the Torah said:

29that the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “I am the Lord. Speak to Pharaoh everything that I speak to you.”

This is what Moses heard:

30But Moses said before the Lord, “Behold, I am of closed lips; so how will Pharaoh hearken to me?”

Two different realities. Moses INFERRED from Hashem what he thought Hashem wanted him to do. Hashem didn’t task Moses with “CONVINCE PHAROAH.” Hashem just said “speak to Pharaoh what I tell you. I will work out the rest.”

Did we catch that the first time we read it? I did not.

How often do we INFER things that bring us right to fear? Hashem did not INSINUATE anything in His message to Moses. He just wanted Moses to speak to Pharaoh. It was all a part of the plan.

What is the takeaway for us?

In a given moment – we can act. If we are afraid of the next step? We may be getting ahead of ourselves. If a moment calls for us to speak – it may be for the purposes of a plan greater than ours. Just because someone doesn’t listen? It is NOT OUR JOB for them to listen. I can talk, communicate, and try to get my heart and mind out in a way that is clear. AND. The person we are trying to communicate may be hardened and blocked and they are in no position to receive that. We don’t have to take that personally.

Our freedom? Speak our truth. Be candid. Live in our power. If we are afraid someone will reject our truth? That fear is safe.

Let’s keep going. Why is this all happening? Why is Moses WASTING HIS TIME talking to Pharoah if Hashem has told him it’s going to fail?  What does this have to do with freeing the Israelites? If the plan is the plan, what is the value of Moses speaking to Pharoah?

5And the Egyptians shall know that I am the Lord when I stretch forth My hand over Egypt, and I will take the children of Israel out of their midst.”

Mind blown. Moses was speaking to Pharoah because NOT ONLY was he taking the Israelites out of Egypt, Hashem wanted the EGYPTIANS TO KNOW EXACTLY WHO HASHEM was.

Why?

Out of Ego? Hashem is sitting up there going – “I am going to rescue the Israelites and make sure the Egyptians know it’s me because I have an ego to stroke?”

No. I don’t believe this.

I believe it’s because Hashem is love. And He knew. There were Egyptians who would TASTE AND SEE Hashem. And would go with the Israelites. And (Spoiler alert) we are going to learn as this story unfolds? Egyptians went with the Israelites into the wilderness.

Moses was asked to speak to Pharaoh because Hashem wasn’t just rescuing the Israelites from the slavery of Egypt – he was rescuing the EGYPTIANS from their own spiritual slavery.

Physical slavery. Spiritual slavery.

The Torah is about BOTH.

Two different realities. Hashem’s reality. Moses’ reality.

Two other different realities. Israels’ reality. Egyptians’ reality.

And. This is NOT binary. Because. 1 + 1 = 3.

What does this mean?

Hashem’s reality is one. Hashem IS one.

Moses is one. Moses IS one.

Together? Hashem and Moses forms a RELATIONSHIP. That RELATIONSHIP is a new entity that has entered the picture. That RELATIONSHIP is ALSO one.

Hashem + Moses?  That equals three = Hashem’s reality. Moses’ reality. The reality of the RELATIONSHIP between Hashem and Moses.

Hashem was co-creating with Moses. Moses had a part. But Moses wasn’t alone. This did not fall fully to his shoulders to carry.  There was a third reality being created.

1 + 1 = 3.

Israel + Egypt = 3 = Israels’ reality. Egypts’ reality. The integrated reality of both peoples. This “integrated reality?” This is why this was playing out. Hashem saw this entity. He saw this three.

1 +  1 = 3.

Let’s finish today’s portion:

6Moses and Aaron did; as the Lord commanded them, so they did.

7And Moses was eighty years old, and Aaron was eighty three years old when they spoke to Pharaoh.

What a BEAUTIFUL ending.  Moses and Aaron ACCEPTED 1 + 1 = 3. They did as they were asked. They RECEIVED Hashem and did not resist Hashem. They CHOSE to submit to Hashem’s love and expansive perspective and reality and just did.

And it took them EIGHTY YEARS of living in order for them to learn this lesson.

I am not sure how many of us are 80. But as an almost 52 year old man? There is some comfort in seeing this reality 28 years before Moses did. That’s not my ego. That’s soothing balm for my heart. 

Because immediately I go inward and say “why did it take me so (I want to use a curse word here but I won’t) long to understand this?” I want to judge myself.

And. The Torah reminds us? We are on the right track. We are where we need to be. We are learning lessons when we need to learn them.

And that brings me tremendous comfort.

What are your thoughts?