Tyler’s Torah Thoughts

Day 8 of the Omer

Today we begin a new week of the Omer counting. Week 1 was about love. This week? Is about discipline.

We study today the love of discipline. Discipline as a word has many meanings – but I love what chabad defines it as: “It gives our life and love direction and focus. Take a laser beam: Its potency lies in the focus and concentration of light in one direction rather than fragmented light beams dispersed in all different directions.”

The idea of discipline is focus. What is our focus? What are week spending our energy on? This is our goal for today. What matters?

We are moving from some chaotic energy into the shadow of selfishness.  This energy is designed to expose where we self-sacrifice from a place of selfishness (as opposed to giving generously from our heart) OR where we refuse to sacrifice because we are self-centered. The gift of this shadow energy is to develop into a space of altruism. Where we can give without expectations – AND we choose to give to those we DISCERN will use that energy and take it to produce beautiful fruit.

Full stop. Giving without expectations while at the same time discerning where to give our energy? That is focus. We have a laser beam of generosity within – if we give it every where? It may not produce the same communal results as if we give it where we intuitively believe it will produce.

This is the goal.

This? Is love. And it is nourishing. To our heart. And our souls.

The love of discipline connects us to the nourishment of our soul. It shows us where to go. Where to focus. It is fulfilling – NOT draining.

There are those who give to others – to the point of depletion.  This is not altruism. This is selfish self-sacrifice. When we give to others without being drained because we understand WHY we are giving – from a place of overflow – and not from a place of trying to prove our worth?

That’s where the fun begins.  That’s where we see fruit grow.

These are my thoughts. What are yours?

From a year ago:

It’s the Eighth Day of the Omer, which means we leave the theme of Love, and jump into Discipline.  Don’t worry though – for today? We look at the love of discipline.

Here is what Chabad has for this second week of the Omer:

Week Two – Gevurah

If love (chesed) is the bedrock of human expression, discipline (gevurah) is the channels through which we express love. It gives our life and love direction and focus. Take a laser beam: Its potency lies in the focus and concentration of light in one direction rather than fragmented light beams dispersed in all different directions.

Gevurah – discipline and measure – concentrates and directs our efforts, our love in the proper directions. Another aspect of gevurah is – respect and awe. Healthy love requires respect for the one you love.”

It’s interesting how Gevurah means discipline and measure. And it also means judgment.

Today is the first day of the second week; so we reflect on the kindness and love of discipline. From Chabad:

Day One of Week 2 (8th day of Omer): Chesed of Gevurah

The underlying intention and motive in discipline is love. Why do we measure our behavior, why do we establish standards and expect people to live up to them – only because of love. Even judgment of the guilty is only to express love. In other words punishment is not vengeance; it is just another way to express love by cleansing anything antithetical to love. Tolerance of people should never be confused with tolerance of their behavior. On the contrary: love for people includes wanting them to be the best they can and therefore helping them be aware of anything less than perfect behavior.

Chesed of gevurah is the love in discipline; awareness of the intrinsic love that feeds discipline and judgment. It is the recognition that your personal discipline and the discipline you expect of others is only an expression of love. And that comes across when disciplining. It is the understanding that we have no right to judge others; we have a right only to love them and that includes wanting them to be their best.

Ask yourself: when I judge and criticize another is it in any way tinged with any of my own contempt and irritation? Is there any hidden satisfaction in his failure? Or is it only out of love for the other?

Exercise for the day: Before you criticize someone today think twice if it is out of care and love.”

This is a great reflection of my heart.

This is what I’m meditating on:

“love for people includes wanting them to be the best they can and therefore helping them be aware of anything less than perfect behavior.”

What happens when the ones we love or care about cannot receive this message – of wanting them to be their best? Do we continue to beat our heads against a wall? Or do we turn away and stop trying?

I don’t have good answers. But trusting what is in our control and what is not. As I’ve shared, I have recently become aware that one of my biggest struggles is trying to control and strategize what I can’t control. I need to let go and let things happen. Receive the things I cannot control and not resist them. Trust these “gifts” I cannot control will be used for my good, the good of others, and the good of the world becomes a part of the restorative work of Tikkun Olam.