Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 24 Av, 5784
Parsha Re’eh – “See”: (Deuteronomy 11:26 – 16:17)
Fourth Portion: Deuteronomy 14:1 – 14:21

Good morning! Today is my Hebrew “fathers day.” On 24 Av, in the year 5767? I became a dad. By first child came into the world. It’s been 17 years of being assigned this new purpose in my life. It’s been a challenge most certainly. And a major blessing. Like most of us as parents? We have to make tough judgment calls without knowing what the outcomes will be. Sometimes we get it right? Sometimes we don’t.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way!

We’ve been talking about sacrifice and desire.  We’ve been talking about destruction and compassion. So many edges of life here. Mattering and not mattering. This is where we are supposed to live.

We begin today’s passage by focusing on responding to death. Trigger warning – I am going to discuss cutting – so if you are not in an emotional space to dig into that topic? You may want to come back to today’s Torah portion later:

14:1You are children of the Lord, your God. You shall neither cut yourselves nor make any baldness between your eyes for the dead.

2For you are a holy people to the Lord, your God, and the Lord has chosen you to be a treasured people for Him, out of all the nations that are upon the earth.

Because we are set apart. Because we are treasured. When someone dies? We are not to destroy our bodies for the dead.

I am reflecting on this. Why would someone cut themselves when someone dies?

I have worked with students in higher ed who cut. I know friends who cut.

Pain is often a way to pass through numbness. The people I talk to who cut share how they just want to feel something – the cut on their body – the pain – the bleeding?  Its because they don’t feel anything.

So – if someone dies, and we cut our bodies to feel pain? It would likely (I am speculating) mean they did not feel any grief when the person passed away.

I think this is a reflection – that when we lose someone on this earth – grief is appropriate. We should not need to deface our bodies to feel that pain.  And. We can be compassionate for when we might feel that need.

Desire. Sacrifice.

We may have the desire NOT to cut ourselves. To hurt ourselves. And? Maybe we need to go through that process in a particular moment. Both/and?

And.

We are treasured.

Full stop.

We are treasured.

That may be the key.

Do we FEEL treasured?

What does treasured even feel like?

The best definition I have found is “highly valued.”

How often do we feel treasured?

How often do we BELIEVE we could be treasured?

I was talking to a dear friend about this, and she expanded my thoughts.

In order for someone to feel treasured in a particular moment? Four things need to be true:

• I have to believe I am highly valued
• You (someone not me) have to believe I am highly valued
• You have to believe you are highly valued
• I have to believe you are highly valued.

Now? I can delude myself into believing those middle two things about someone else.

But to truly feel treasured? All four of those parts need to come together.

WE must believe WE are valued. Highly.

And that has consequences, doesn’t it?

I am reflecting on my purpose right now. My soul. It longs to create moments of treasure.

And that has to start with believing I am highly valued. And. Everyone else on this planet is too. That is all I have the power to do in my healing journey. I can only do 1 and 4. And find others who can provide 2 and 3. That’s the fit.  That’s the space. That seems to be big.

Ok – there is likely a lot more here, but I want to keep going in the Torah portion.

3You shall not eat any abomination.

4These are the animals that you may eat: ox, lamb, and kid,

5gazelle, deer, and antelope, ibex, chamois, bison, and giraffe.

6And every animal that has a split hoof and has a hoof cloven into two hoof sections, [and] chews the cud among the animals that you may eat.

7But you shall not eat of those that chew the cud, or of those that have the split hooves: the cloven one, the camel, the hyrax, and the hare, for they chew the cud, but do not have split hooves; they are unclean for you.

8And the pig, because it has a split hoof, but does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you. You shall neither eat of their flesh nor touch their carcass.

9These you may eat of all that are in the waters; all that have fins and scales, you may eat.

10But whatever does not have fins and scales, you shall not eat; it is unclean for you.

11You may eat every clean bird.

12But these are those from which you shall not eat: The eagle [or the griffin vulture], the ossifrage, the osprey;

13and the white vulture, and the black vulture, and the kite after its species;

14And every raven after its species;

15And the ostrich, and the owl, and the gull, and the hawk after its species;

16The falcon, and the ibis, and the bat;

17And the pelican, and the magpie, and the cormorant;

18And the stork, and the heron and its species, and the hoopoe, and the atalef.

19And every flying insect is unclean for you; they may not be eaten.

20You may eat any clean fowl.

21You shall not eat any carcass. You may give it to the stranger who is in your cities, that he may eat it, or you may sell it to a foreigner; for you are a holy people to the Lord, your God. You shall not cook a kid in its mother’s milk.

Wow. This makes a ton of sense.

Treasured humans understand certain food has “high value” and other food does not. If we treasure these bodies, the Torah is saying – eat what you want – and realize it will likely impact your belief about your value.

When is the last time you felt treasured?

Discuss!

Here are my thoughts from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 22 Av, 5783

Good morning.  I find today’s Torah portion fascinating.  There are basically two parts:

• Don’t hurt ourselves when we are mourning
• Remember the Kosher laws

Moses is taking this time in his lecture to bring these up. Why?

I think the idea for the first part – “don’t hurt ourselves when we are in mourning”, to me is about the connection between our emotions (heart) and body.

What do we do when we feel? When we feel sad? When we grieve (which is the idea of mourning, isn’t it?).  The stages of grief are:

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

It’s not a linear process for sure – it cycles (like the moon). But there is a LOT of potential to “gash” ourselves or hurt ourselves in our grief, isn’t there?  Moses is telling us “grief is going to happen. It’s a normal part of life.  Just be careful not to hurt yourselves in your grief!”

I want to just sit with that. How do we handle our grief? Especially our anger?

We hurt ourselves. And others.  We need to be aware of this.  Allow ourselves the FEELINGS – but not take it out on our bodies (or the bodies of others).

THEN

Moses jumps into food (the body) and spirit (soul).  So we go from emotions (grief) to body (hurting ourselves and/or eating) to soul.

Moses connects us to our divinity here.  Our feelings, our body, our soul – it is all connected. We are children of Hashem.

And Moses seems to bring us right back to being one with Hashem.  One with each other.  Do we treat OTHERS like they are divine? That is the question.

I’d love to know your thoughts!

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 27 Av, 5782

Good morning. Today let’s jump right in!

Moses is continuing his last lecture to the people.

He tells us not to gash ourselves or deface ourselves when mourning. Because we are a holy people to God. Hashem has chosen us to be a treasured people for Him. Because we are a treasure, we shouldn’t deface that treasure. All of us.

Moses then reminds us of the “forbidden foods.” He moves us out of the realm of ritual impurity; and when we enter the promised land; the land of freedom, he tells us that even though we aren’t talking about ritual impurity, we need to expand our thoughts. The promise land is divinity and we need to treat it as such.

I’m really reflecting on how the repeat of the kosher laws here is NOT connected to ritual impurity like it was before. If the promised land isn’t just a physical land, but a spirit – it really comes down to divinity. And how connected we desire to be to our own divinity.

We have choice in that matter.

And that’s important.

Because if I choose to connect to MY divinity. And you connect to YOUR divinity. Then it ceases to be MY divinity and YOUR divinity, doesn’t it? It becomes OUR divinity. Because the divine is the divine. We are not greater than or less than the divine. We are the divine.

This brings new depth to “treating others as we desire ourselves to be treated.” Because in a sense, we are treating others – as if they are literally us. Because what is in my soul and what is in your soul is the same thing. It’s the divine.

Those are my thoughts today. What are yours? Or maybe I should say; what are OUR thoughts on this today? Share!