25 Tishri, 5783 - Tikkun Olam 47

on October 20, 2022

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 25 Tishri, 5783

Parsha Bereshit:

Fourth reading (Genesis 3:22-4:18)

As we catch up on genesis this week, I post below where we were a year ago. Today, with freedom and liberation – are we still feeling like we are living in Exile? Or are we living free?

In context of things I’m chewing on NOW, I can see how Cain’s purpose was external and he was not reciprocating the love within. Hashem loved Cain. But that wasn’t enough because Cain didn’t live Cain. To the point his love for himself was connected somehow to his brother Abel.

How do we live like Cain because we’ve been treated like Abel?

And how do we suffer like Cain after we make a mistake and stop loving ourselves even more?

What could have changed the situation? Maybe if Cain had some self compassion – before he kills Abel, maybe he wouldn’t have felt the need to off Abel?

For us; where are we feeling like Cain this morning? Where can we love ourselves in the midst of feeling like we’ve made mistakes? Where can we take that internal love and have it propel us forward? We don’t have to live in our own internal exile. Internal exile is probably a great way to describe unrequited love for ourselves. How do we love ourselves in a way that pushes harmony out into the world? This is what we can do with our freedom! Will we?

What are your thoughts?

Here is my commentary from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 25 Tishrei, 5782

Parsha Bereshit

Lesson 1: This morning we continue in Genesis. Most of us are familiar with the story of Cain and Abel. After rejecting Cain’s sacrifice and accepting Abel’s, God asks Cain a question; “why are you angry, and why is your face dejected? Surely, if you improve yourself you will be forgiven?”

Rabbi Hayyim Solovelchik (from the 19-20th century) challenges us to think about this question in our own lives; “God was asking Cain a more subtle question: What is the main reason motivating your anger and dejection?” Is it because your sacrifice was rejected, or because your brother’s sacrifice was accepted? Which was more painful to you?”

This hits me hard. When I’m upset over rejection, it’s obviously both/and – I’m upset because I was rejected but also upset because someone ELSE was accepted. But that is almost an easy answer to avoid going deeper into my heart. Which is the bigger issue for me? Is it that I don’t always get what I want? Or is it because others get what I want.

If I’m brutally honest, I really think it’s the latter (for me). I’m sad I didn’t get something, but I’m really jealous of the person who did. It’s an interesting nuance I don’t often reflect on. I also see this with my kids. If someone is told “no” their IMMEDIATE response is often “but so and so got this!” How do we do the work to let go of that part of us that gets upset over someone else’s success or provision? That’s one of the things I’m reflecting on.

Lesson 2: as much as we put Cain in a box in our heads (Cain was bad, Abel was good), Rabbi Menachem Schneerson writes; “Cain was the first person to repent before God. He set him as an example for all future penitents: it consisted of three practical phases:

Confession: Cain declared to Hashem “My sin is too great to bear.”
Exile: “He dwelt in the land of wanderers”
Rebound into positive action: he fathered a son, he built a city aimed to repair the world he had damaged, he named the city after his sons name. He didn’t keep this a secret. He publicized his achievements boldly to the entire world.

Rabbi Schneerson continues (pronoun change is my own): “the challenge of the penitent is that when their repentance is complete, they must propel themselves ‘outwards’ into the world. They must free themselves of inadequacy and start to contribute constructively to the world in the most expansive manner possible.”

Whew. That’s a lot. I reflect on how often I get stuck in exile – and my feelings of inadequacy.

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