Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 29 Iyar, 5784– Day 44 of the Omer
Parsha Be-Midbar – “In The Desert”: (Numbers 1:1 – 4:20)
Fifth Portion: Numbers 3:14 – 3:39

Good morning! We are in the new moon – and Rosh Chodesh starts at sundown tonight! We are transitioning from Iyar to Sivan. We are heading into a time of direction – where we will receive the Torah – and get clarity on where we are headed!  Today is the 44^th day of the Omer, and the theme is the Discipline of Dignity.  From Chabad:

Examine the discipline of your sovereignty and leadership. Although sovereignty is loving, it needs to be balanced with discipline. Effective leadership is built on authority and discipline.

There is another factor in the discipline of sovereignty: determining the area in which you have jurisdiction and authority. Do I recognize when I am not an authority? Do I exercise authority in unwarranted situations? Am I aware of my limitations as well as my strengths? Do I respect the authority of others? Dignity also needs discipline. A dignified person needs to have a degree of reserve.

Exercise for the day: Before taking an authoritative position on any given issue, pause and reflect if you have the right and the ability to exercise authority in this situation.

So as we reflect on our dignity – our worth – our sovereignty – our belief that we are needed and wanted in this world – we need to also consider the situations where we may not be needed – where we don’t have “authority.”

I reflect on this dignity. I am needed and wanted in this world. And there are situations where I am not needed or wanted.  That’s ok. Because those are moments where OTHERS need to know they are needed and wanted.

Reservation. Discernment. These are important pieces of our Dignity and Sovereignty. Let’s take this spirit and dig into today’s portion:

14The Lord spoke to Moses in the Sinai desert, saying:

15Count the children of Levi according to their fathers’ house according to their families. Count all males from the age of one month and upward.

So here is what first stands out for me. For others – they counted at age 20. When they could fight.  The priests? Counted at one month.  Well, isn’t it interesting we are reading this at the end of the month connected to “birth” in Kabbalah.  Nisan is the first month. The Passover. We are born as we pass through the birth canal of the split sea. We are opened into a wilderness and we have spent the first month of being born in the month of Iyar – just getting our feet under us. Now? As we move in the third month? This is when it “counts” from the heart/priest perspective. This to me is significant.

16So Moses counted them according to God’s word, just as he was commanded.

17These were the names of Levi’s sons: Gershon, Kohath, and Merari.

18The names of the sons of Gershon according to their families were Libni and Shim’ei.

19And the sons of Kohath according to their families were Amram, Itzhar, Hebron, and Uziel.

20And the sons of Merari according to their families were Mahli and Mushi. These are the families of Levi according to their fathers’ houses.

So we have three “divisions” – Gershon, Kohath, and Merari. I’ve written that the “functions” of these families are connected to the body/physical (Gershon), sacred/spiritual (Kohath), and Emotional (Merari).

21For Gershon, the Libnite family and the Shim’eite family; these are the Gershonite families.

22Their sum was made according to the number of males from the age of one month and upward; the tally amounted to seven thousand, five hundred.

23The Gershonite families shall camp behind the Mishkan, to the west.

24The prince of the father’s house of the Gershonites is Eliasaph the son of Lael.

25The charge of the sons of Gershon in the Tent of Meeting [included] the Mishkan, the Tent, its cover, and the screen for the entrance to the Tent of Meeting.

26The hangings of the courtyard, the screen at the entrance to the courtyard, which is around the Mishkan and the altar, its ropes, as well as all the work involved.

What do we learn about Gershon? There were two families. 7,500 males one month or older.  The Gershon families camped behind the Mishkan – to the west.

So remember, we had the divisions around the camp as follows:

1. Tiferet (Judah) camps on the east and goes first – Harmony. Changing for Harmony seems gentle and a good first step.
2. Chesed (Reuben) camps to the south and goes second- Kindness. If we won’t make the changes we need to make for Harmony’s sake? Maybe we will make them for Kindness?
3. Malkhut (Ephraim) camps to the west and goes third (after the tent of meeting and the Levites) – sensitivity. If we won’t change for harmony or kindness, maybe Hashem reveals Himself and THEN we will change?
4. Gevurah (Dan) camps to the north and goes last – negativity and severity. In the end the last point of change is hitting rock bottom. Radical change happens when we experience Harshness.

Given the Gershonites camped to the west with Ephraim, it may connect our physical bodies with sensitivity. Why do I connect Gershon with the physical?  Because of these verses:

25The charge of the sons of Gershon in the Tent of Meeting [included] the Mishkan, the Tent, its cover, and the screen for the entrance to the Tent of Meeting.

26The hangings of the courtyard, the screen at the entrance to the courtyard, which is around the Mishkan and the altar, its ropes, as well as all the work involved.

They were charged with coverings – they took down the coverings, the screen, the hangings. It was as if they were responsible for the skin and the boundary between the inner Mishkan and the rest of the camp.

My takeaway from this? How sensitive are we to the world around us? How aware are we of our bodies? Our skin?  Ok. Let’s dig into the next family:

27For Kohath, the Amramite family, the Izharite family, the Hebronite family, and the Uzielite family; these are the families of Kohath.

28The number of all males from the age of one month and upward amounted to eight thousand six hundred, the keepers of the charge of the holy.

29The families of the sons of Kohath shall camp to the south side of the Mishkan.

30The prince of the father’s house of the Kohathite families is Elizaphan the son of Uziel.

31Their charge [included] the ark, the table, the menorah, the altars, and the holy utensils with which they would minister, and the screen and all the work involved.

So we have Kohath.  They numbered 8,600.  And they were the “keepers of the charge of the holy.”  And they camped to the south.

So. Interesting. The Tribes of Israel – camped starting to the East, then south, then west, then north.  It would seem this would be counter clockwise. We are moving from the west to the south.

Who camped to the south?  Reuben – who represented Kindness. The charge of the holy is in our kindness.  Being set apart from the world may connect to our ability for kindness. Which makes sense to be honest, because when I look at the world? I don’t see a lot of kindness.

Maybe in our modern world? To be truly “holy” means to set ourselves apart from the world and live as rebels. Kindness rebels. In order to do this – we must take care of our spirit – in whatever way we decide we need to.

Let’s keep going:

32The prince over all the princes of the Levites shall be Eleazar the son of Aaron the kohen, the appointment of all the keepers of the charge of the Holy.

Ok – so this interesting. We get to the south. And – we know the front is the east.  So, the south? It is the right side. When the camp of Israel departed – east and south went first. Then the tribe of Levi went. So the right side is the gate. There is something crucial for us here. Because we pause our flow, and the Torah tells us – the prince of princes – Eleazar – is now listed as the “appointment of all the keepers of the charge of the Holy.”

Who is our Eleazar? Within us? Can we hear that voice? That one in charge of our being set apart?  Because I believe, this is where our belief of our worth, our purpose, or knowledge we are needed and wanted in this world stems from.

Let’s keep going:

33For Merari, the Machlite family and the Mushite family; these are the families of Merari.

34Their tally according to the number of males from the age of one month and upward was six thousand two hundred.

35The prince of the father’s house of the Merarite families is Zuriel the son of Abihail; they shall camp on the north side of the Mishkan.

36The appointment of the charge of the sons of Merari [included] the planks of the Mishkan, its bars, its pillars, and its sockets, all its utensils, and all the work involved.

37Also the pillars of the surrounding courtyard, their sockets, their stakes, and their ropes.

Alright – that was interesting. Instead of flowing to the east, we jump sides to the north. Merari (which represents the pillars – the emotions) numbers 6200.  Who connected them on the north?  Dan.  Which represented strength, severity and negativity.  This makes sense. We often see emotions as a weakness. And. They are a strength. Emotional Intelligence is crucial. The ability to regulate our own emotions is a strength. And. It can be severe and have consequences we don’t desire (which we label as negative) if we aren’t able to navigate our emotions.

38Camping in front of the Mishkan, in front of the Tent of Meeting to the east were Moses, Aaron and his sons, the keepers of the charge of the Sanctuary as a trust for the children of Israel; any outsider who approaches shall be put to death.

39The sum of the male Levites according to their families, from the age of one month and upward, counted by Moses and Aaron according to the word of the Lord, was twenty two thousand.

And in front? Leadership.  Our inner work – the body, the spirit, and the emotions all connect with Leadership. Leadership is connected to thought – strategy. Moses spoke to the soul. Hashem.

How our mind communicates and listens to the “people” within us – and how our mind communicates with Hashem (the one soul) will determine when we stay, when we leave. Hashem gave us the timing. If Moses didn’t listen? We’d miss the timing.

So what about us?

Where are our minds? Is our mind focused externally, trying to strategize and do the work of the Universe for us? Or is our mind focused within – listening to our hearts – our body – our spirit? This is the key point and takeaway today.

These are my thoughts. What are yours?

Here are my thoughts from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 28 Iyar, 5783. 42nd Day of the Omer:

Today is the last day of the Sixth week of the Omer.  Today’s theme is Malchut of Yesod – or “Dignity/Sovereignty of Bonding.”

From Chabad:

Bonding must enhance a person’s sovereignty. It should nurture and strengthen your own dignity and the dignity of the one you bond with. Does my bonding inhibit the expression of my personality and qualities? Does it overwhelm the one I bond with?

Exercise for the day: Emphasize and highlight the strengths of the one you bond with.

I reflect on this deeply.  When we form relationships, how much do we take away someone’s sovereignty? Their dignity?  Are we even mindful of this?

We see this when we see someone not living up to their potential, don’t we?  We get frustrated. We want to convince them they can do more. This is not a healthy attachment or bonding.  Yesterday, I had shared this quote; “We can only care about others to the point at which they care about themselves.”

When we try to care (outwardly) about someone beyond the point they care about themselves, we remove their dignity and sovereignty, don’t we?  They can sense our disappointment with them (most likely).  But we don’t TRY to communicate disappointment.  We just want more.

When we try to care for someone beyond their own level of care about themselves?  Whatever we are trying to give? It will not be received.  This is the “meet them where they are at” concept.

And. Let’s turn this around.  Others can only care for US to the level at which we care about ourselves, right? This is the sovereignty and dignity of bonding.

As I have been sharing (and discovering) in real time with you; this all starts with the bond we have within.  Caring for ourselves is where things around love begin.  How we do this when OUR dignity, OUR sovereignty, OUR abandonment, OUR shame, OUR Rejection are ever present within us?

This comes back to courteous goodwill. And. High Safety.  This morning as I was reading “The Book of Awakening” by Mark Nepo, he was writing about friendship.  The word “friendship” in german has it’s roots in this concept of “high safety.”

If we do not possess courteous good will and high safety for ourselves? How can we be that for someone else?

And today’s Torah portion? I believe it is DIRECTLY speaking to this.  I wrote a year ago about the sons of Levi – Gershon, Kohath, and Merari.  And I wrote how they represent body/physical (Gershon), sacred/spiritual (Kohath), and Emotional (Merari).

How bonded are we to our physical bodies? Are we treating our bodies with “Courteous Goodwill?”  Are we providing “High Safety” for our physical bodies?  Some of us don’t feel safe in our own bodies.  That may be a good place to start.

Others? How are we treating our spiritual lives/bodies?  Do we have courteous goodwill in our spirituality?  Or are we ashamed of what we believe beyond ourselves?  Do we provide our selves “high safety” to explore our spiritual beliefs and things we hold as sacred?  This may ALSO be a good place to start.

Finally? There are those of us struggling with our mental/emotional health.  Do we provide courteous goodwill for certain feelings we have?  Or are we ashamed that we feel sad? angry? Do we feel like we are an emotional burden to ourselves and others? Do we provide ourselves “high safety” to explore our emotions? The FULL range of emotions? The CONFLICTING emotions? (What? I feel happy, sad, and angry all at once? How can this be?)

These are my thoughts today.  What about you?

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 3 Sivan, 5782 (June 2, 2022)

Today is the 47th day of the Omer.

Wow! We are close to Shavuot and the giving of the Torah!

Todays portion opens up with a head count of the tribe of Levi. The counting though for the tribe of Levi was different.

With the other tribes it was of those who were 20 years of age or older.

With the tribe of Levi, it was one month and upward.

I’m chewing on that difference.

I think it is connected to our spiritual function. Physically (the other tribes) live out our purpose starting at 20 years old (give or take) but spiritually our development starts from birth.

That’s my thought; and it could be wrong – I’d love yours!

Ok. So the Torah counts. Levi had three sons: Gershon, Kohath, and Merari.

Gershon had 7,500 males over one month old.

Gershon camped behind the tabernacle to the west. Their purpose and function was to care for the tapestries of the tabernacle, the cover and curtain of the tabernacle the curtain around the tabernacle and the ropes of the tabernacle.

Kohath had 8,600 males over a month old. They camped on the south side of the tabernacle. Their purpose was being the guardians. They guarded the sacred vessels. Their duties were to care for the ark, the table, the candleabrum, the altars, the sacred utensils, the partition and all associated tasks.

Merari had 6,200 males over a month old. They camped on the north side of the tabernacle. They cared for the beams, it’s bars, it’s pillars, and it’s sockets.

Now. Let me stop here because I have a thought. It seems as if the duties of Gershon were about the physical. They took care of the coverings. The duties of Kohath were spiritual. They took care of the sacred. The duties of Merari were emotional; they took care of the internal support structure.

And this is fascinating to me. Our lives (tabernacles) require priests to care for our physical, spiritual and emotional structures. How are we doing with that? Do you have friends in your lives to support those structures? People who’s support for you focuses on those areas? And they are camped around us – helping us.

And I wonder- are the numbers here corresponding to the importance of where our focus should be? Spiritual first? Physical second? Emotional third? I don’t know. But if we break down the percentages – 34% of the Levites were Gershon, 39% were Kohath, and 28% were Merari.

What are your thoughts?

But the portion closes with the answer to the question; what about the entrance? In front of the tabernacle?

We have Moses, Aaron and his sons (two of them, because two died).

So what guards the entrance of our bodies? What are the entrances? Our eyes, ears, mouth, nose? We have our skin too. But that may be part of the physical coverings. I don’t know. But four men stood in front to make sure nothing unauthorized gets in. That’s fascinating to me.

What are your thoughts?