Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 3 Av, 5784
Parsha Devarim – “Words”: (Deuteronomy 1:1 – 3:22)
Fourth Portion: Deuteronomy 1:39 – 2:1
Good morning! We are on day 3 of the month of Av as we are leading towards the 9th of Av. As I was contemplating this morning, I was connecting these nine days with the nine months of pregnancy – of birthing life.
Pregnancy can be a painful time. Looking at the 3rd month of Fetus development? Whatever we have going on in our world? Today may be a day of significant growth and development – which could be painful.
In the third month of development – the fetus takes form. We begin to see facial features, limbs, organs, muscles, and bones develop. We aren’t yet ready to leave the darkness of the womb, but we are starting to take shape.
What are we birthing in our lives? What is it we want and are working on? Today may be a day for rapid growth and development – what happens today may be significant in that process.
Can we be reminded that we are safe? Can we use the courage we learned yesterday to shift from fear of what is happening to us, into a place of safety knowing something new is being developed?
Let’s dig in to the Torah and see if there is a connection. Yesterday Moses was discussing Hashem’s anger over the incident with the spies. The children of Israel chose fear over courage. They chose to trust their fear instead of Hashem and Moses. And they ignored Caleb and Joshua. Yesterday we learned Joshua would lead them into the land. Moses told the people Joshua was courageous. This is where we pick up as Moses was recapping:
39[Moreover] your little ones, whom you said will be prey, and your children, who on that day did not know good and evil they will go there and I will give it to them, and they will possess it.
Moses was telling the children present – your parents thought you would die and be prey. So basically Hashem gave them what they asked for. They didn’t get to enter. You did.
40But as for you, turn yourselves around and journey into the desert by way of the Red Sea.”
41Then you answered and said to me, “We have sinned against the Lord; we will go up and fight, according to all that the Lord, our God, has commanded us.” So every one of you girded his weapons, and you prepared yourselves to go up to the mountain.
And your parents ignored me. Their opportunity passed. They went up the mountain anyway.
42And the Lord said to me, “Say to them, ‘Neither go up nor fight, for I am not among you, lest you be struck down before your enemies.’ “
43So I spoke to you, but you did not listen, and you rebelled against the command of the Lord, and you acted wickedly and went up to the mountain.
44And the Amorites, dwelling in that mountain, came out towards you and pursued you as bees do, and beat you down in Seir, as far as Hormah.
45So you returned and wept before the Lord, but the Lord would not hear your voice, nor would He listen to you.
46And you dwelled in Kadesh many days, as the days that you dwelled.
What is the takeaway?
Yesterday we learned courage is the anti-dote to fear.
Today it seems the moment is what is critical. When we choose fear over courage, what is in front of us changes. If we “force our hand” then we will struggle. We need to trust and follow the flow of energy around us.
Be in the flow. Don’t fight the flow.
2:1Then we turned and journeyed into the desert by way of the Red Sea, as the Lord had spoken to me, and we circled Mount Seir for many days.
Moses told the people – after we were destroyed because we didn’t listen? We turned and journeyed where Hashem had us go.
It was ok. It all worked out. We have to see the bigger picture. Yes, the parents didn’t get to enter the land. Their kids did. Which is what they were afraid of. They were afraid their kids would be destroyed. So they were given what they asked for.
What are your thoughts?
Here are my thoughts from the past two years:
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 1 Av, 5783
A new moon. A new month. It is time to practice our eyes (spiritually) seeing in the darkness. And today’s portion is going to get us off on the right foot.
Today’s passage is all about suffering. If you read my commentary below, I don’t need to restate what was shared a year ago. I encourage you to stop here, jump down and read that and then come back.
Ok. Now. With all of this in mind. All of this experience? I am learning this morning – it is all within.
You see, I have internal thoughts. I don’t believe I am alone. My consciousness can talk to me and help me feel safe. My consciousness can ALSO talk to me and create a sense of danger. A new friend really helped codify this for me.
When we experience external stimulus – for example – someone giving us a compliment. Our brain can process that in a way that helps us feel safe – OR – our brain can process that in a manner that produces feelings of danger and suffering. But we have a choice if we can get some distance between the external stimulus and our response.
In the past, when people gave me compliments? I defaulted to “meh. they don’t really know what a worthless piece of crap I am. If they knew, they wouldn’t compliment me. They’d know my only motive for doing that is survival.”
Then I started learning about self compassion. And the pendulum swung the opposite way; “damn straight I deserve that compliment! They noticed THAT, but then they ignore THIS part of what I did. What is wrong with them?”
Then. I began to question my reality. “Was that compliment even real? Did they have some agenda? Are they trying to get something from me?”
Today? The truth is – all of that internal self talk. All of the feelings I am feeling. The emotions? Are completely connected. And I have the power internally to move forward.
I can approach my emotions and feelings with awareness and compassion for myself. I can ACCEPT that all of those thoughts can exist at the same time. AND I can choose to bring back within the power of self-compassion. It is often EASIER to have compassion for others – but when we apply that to ourselves – when we pay OURSELVES a compliment? The secret is – the same thoughts that flow within me are the same that come from internal sources.
So – a quick activity for you (if you dare). Take a moment. Look in a mirror. And say out loud; “I am safe in this moment.” And then listen. What thoughts and words and sentences do you hear within? What is hiding behind “the waterfall of your mind?” (Dan Harris quote).
This is the work (in my opinion) Moses was teaching us as we enter the promised land. Joseph felt safe in prison. He was free. Liberated. The Israelites wandering in the desert were safe, yet they felt imprisoned. They felt suffering.
One last quote to close us. “We seek assurances from life that confirm the unconfirmable: that we are solid separate, permanent and continuous.” Ngakpa Chogyam. In this seeking of assurances, we build for ourselves a place of safety. That ends up being our prison.
May we all live freely as we approach the darkness this month over the next 9 days. May we have eyes to see in the darkness!
Let me know YOUR thoughts!
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 6 Av, 5782
Good morning! Another day closer to Tisha B’Av. What is nice this year is we get a day of rest before fasting and focusing on the darkness of the day; while at the same time turning our gaze forward to the full moon on the 15 of Av.
Let’s dig into the Torah!
We are in the middle of Moses rebuking the people about the spies. The portion today starts with a reminder that the children, who the people (at the time) were worried about being taken as captives if they went into the land after the spies returned will actually be the ones to enter the land. Moses says something interesting – “your children who do not yet know the difference between good and evil…”
Moses is telling us that children aren’t responsible for knowing good and evil. They get to go into the promised land. The parents did not.
Moses said (I’m paraphrasing) “at the time you recognized your error and decided to fight on your own, even though the decision was made…I warned you that God told you not to fight because he wasn’t going to be with you. You didn’t listen and you got destroyed!”
So. The key here isn’t “doing the right thing.” The key here is listening to Hashem. There may have been a decision He wanted us to make; but once we make a different choice, there are new decisions to be made. We cannot go back in time to undo a decision.
That kind of regret is crucial towards our destruction and keeping us stuck.
Yesterday I read this quote that I think is appropriate; “The prerequisite to true freedom is to decide that you do not want to suffer anymore.” This was from the book “The Untethered Soul.”
The book goes on to say this: “This is what he (the Buddha when saying ‘all life is suffering’) is referring to; people do not understand how much they are suffering because they have never experienced what it is like not to suffer.”
Moses was calling out that the Jews suffering was because they didn’t listen. Moses was their guide. They suffered because that was their mentality as slaves. They saw that as normal and natural. They didn’t have their minds free at the time, despite their bodies being free.
Living in slavery does something to your mind. Growing up believing you aren’t free makes it difficult to truly find liberation. You may leave your prison; but your mind still acts like it is stuck. That is what the Torah journey is teaching us. The story doesn’t end when we leave Egypt.
The story of Joseph being put in prison after the incident with Potiphar’s wife teaches us that even with our body in prison, our soul and mind can be free. The story of the Jews wandering the desert teaches us that we can live free physically but have our heart and soul still be enslaved. That is the critical takeaway here.
Consider marriage and divorce. One can be free of their spouse physically because they are separated or divorced. But their minds and souls can live lives as if they were still trapped. Likewise, people can live imprisoned in a marriage and have their souls and emotions be free.
The hardest part is living in a marriage where you feel you are completely imprisoned- heart, body, and soul. That’s where the Israelites called to Hashem and begged to be set free. And that is when Moses came along to free them.
And that is the lesson of todays portion.
What will it take for you (us) to truly be free?
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