Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 3 Elul, 5783

Wow.  I am reading my commentary from a year ago, and I think it really needs to stand on it’s own.  I wrote this in my journal yesterday:

My commentary from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 8 Elul, 5782

Good morning! As we begin a new week, we are one step closer to Rosh Hashanah. Introspection is key as we enter this joyous time.

This weeks Parsha is Ki Tetze’ – which means “if you go out.”

And I’m reflecting on how we can take this to mean moving from internal introspection and moving outward to engage the world.

The Chumash I’m reading has this quote to center us for the week:

From your soul’s heavenly abode,  “you go out (ki tetze’) to war,” entering a body that struggles with powerful urges. But your soul never forgets-it retains its strength and sense of mission. Meditate on this truth, and you will be victorious.”

This completely reflects the war within each and every one of us. Liberation begins with the battle inside. “Free your mind, and the rest will follow” comes to mind as well.

Moses continues his last lecture and starts with what is to be done with female captives of war.  I am extrapolating from this; and I am merely speculating –

Inside of each and every one of us is the divine masculine and divine feminine (if you’d prefer you can call it Yin/Yang). Our inner souls battle for war/power. Often times, in our society, we keep our feminine captive. Maybe Moses will give us an idea on how to free our inner feminine soul (listen up my dudes!)

Moses says – if you go to war and Hashem delivers them into your hand, and you see among the captives a beautiful woman and you desire her…

Stop. Ok. If we look at this externally, that sounds rough given our current beliefs around power dynamics. But what if we look within us.

What if we are talking about battling the war within. And when we look inside and we see a victory, and we discover the beautiful divine feminine within us, maybe this is our prescription on how to navigate it:

1. You may take her for yourself as a wife (even if she is married)

Ok. If our inner divine feminine is connected to something or someone, we can unite the inner feminine with our inner masculine and be in harmony.

2. We should bring her into our home (our hearts, maybe?) shave her head, let her nails grow and remove from herself the attractive clothing in which she was captured.

Ok. Maybe we need to remove any attachments we discover our inner divine feminine is connected to. So that she may be free within us.

3. She should stay in our house so we see her at her worst and weep for her father and mother for a full month.

Ok. Maybe we should reflect internally for a month – grieving the loss of the attachments our inner feminine was connected to?

4. After that, we may come to her and be intimate with her and she will be our wife.

Ok. Maybe. If we still desire her after that month. And we want the internal relationship with our feminine – we can be internally intimate with ourselves – and unite our divine masculine and our divine feminine in harmony.

5. If after we come to this spiritual place inside, we decide we don’t want to pursue this inner relationship, we are called to send our inner divine feminine on her way. And we can choose to live separate internally. But we must realize, we have afflicted the divine feminine at this point and that affliction is in our soul.

Ok. That is an interesting intellectual processing of the passage. I’m not saying “this is true” I’m saying “what if?” I’d be curious to your thoughts!

And it’s interesting. Moses moves from the feminine here into the masculine.

He talks about the rights of the firstborn son.

Maybe we have choices inside of us about which of the divine feminine (or masculine?) we will connect with? Again, purely speculative.

Moses said – if a man has two wives; one we love and one we hate, and both wives bear sons, the first born son is the first born son; regardless of which wife bore him the son.

So if we are double minded, we are still connected to the fruit of the first born fruits of our spirit – they receive a double portion.

Next, I think Moses may be alluding to the fruit of the Union between the masculine and feminine within us. It’s all about the rebellious son.

If the son is rebellious and doesn’t listen to his parents, they are supposed to take him in front of the elders. But here’s the catch. They are to go to the elders and say “He does not listen to our voice!”

If our feminine and masculine parts of our souls are not in harmony speaking with one voice? That is not what we are talking about here. 

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch writes this:

The precept of the “rebellious son” applies only if his father and mother speak in the same voice (Babylonian Talmud, Sanhedrin 71a). Both parents must take an active role in educating their child, and they must speak to him in the same voice. That is, they must relate to the child with an equal sense of seriousness, and most importantly, both parents must convey to him the same message and value system.

Only if the parents have met these criteria are they not to blame if their child becomes rebellious. But if the parents have not worked together harmoniously in bringing up their child, then the fact that the child has become unruly may not reflect his innate depravity, but rather a dysfunctional upbringing. If these factors would change, the child might improve.”

So this is how the portion today ends. In a literal sense this may be true; but I think in a spiritual sense, if your inner masculine and inner feminine are not speaking with the same voice, there is hope here. What fruit we bear may not reflect our innate depravity upon which we may feel guilt and shame. It may be the result of a lack of inner harmony and how we have raised ourselves. If instead we do the work to get our inner feminine and inner masculine voices on the same page, we may see different results! Maybe?

I’m curious to your thoughts!