Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 3 Tamuz, 5783

I am very excited for today’s Torah portion.  It is VERY short – but really deep.  The portion today focuses on getting a staff from each of the twelve tribes.  And one of the staff’s blossoming to show the people who Hashem has chosen as the High Priest.  This is AFTER Korach’s rebellion and Hashem super naturally destroyed Korach and his followers.  Fear isn’t what was going to settle this.  Life was.

Miraculously, Aaron’s staff bloomed. It produced almonds.  The people knew with this new life, Aaron was chosen.  Did this mean the other 11 tribes weren’t as “valuable?”  No.  It was for a certain role that Aaron was supposed to play FOR the people.  This happened FOR Israel – not TO Israel.

What is the takeaway here?  Well for me – one of the major things I am reflecting on is a concept my therapist shared yesterday.

A lot of focus is on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  And this is a real thing.  We don’t spend a lot of time focusing on Post Traumatic Growth.  Or Post Traumatic Resilience.  How do I connect this with the torah portion?

Well – from these dead branches – these staffs. Aaron’s blossomed.  There was growth.  We shouldn’t judge the other tribes because their rods did not blossom.  But maybe be curious as to the process?

All of us navigate trauma.  But have we been curious about how some seem to blossom from the trauma they go through while others get stuck in the trauma?  I haven’t paid much attention to this to be honest.  For 48 years (before starting my therapeutic relationship with my current therapist) I really used my trauma and past traumas as an excuse to avoid growth.  Especially in certain areas.  My fears of abandonment. My fears of rejection.

For the past three years, meeting weekly with my current therapist – I have begun the journey of healing.  Doing the dirty work of turning over the soil of trauma so that my dead branch can grow and have new life.  Or at least allow Hashem the opportunity to help me grow – because although I’d love to take full credit? I have to attribute this to Hashem and growing closer to the universe that has been created all around us – physically, emotionally, spiritually.

So today’s portion (for me) is all about taking our dead branch – and allowing it to blossom. To produce flowers. And almonds.  We don’t NEED to get stuck in our trauma.

AND. Let me be clear. We should NOT judge OTHERS in what they do with THEIR trauma.  The work is not external. It is always within.  We continually say here – “heal ourselves, heal the world.”  Tikkun Olam is doing the healing work within – NOT avoiding our healing journey by trying to heal others.

And one reason (I am still exploring and would LOVE thoughts on this from others) we should not judge others? Is the relationship between Trauma and Mental Health.  I can see parts of my journey where trauma has fueled my mental health struggles. I can ALSO see my mental health struggles fueling my trauma.

In my HEALING journey – healing unresolved trauma (like going back and working with my 5, 8, 14, 17, and 27 year old self) can improve my current mental health.  However, if my mental health had been DRIVING those traumas? That may be a bigger challenge.

I’m now reaching a point in my healing journey where my mental health DID create more of the trauma I experienced – this is deeper work to do.  And there are plenty of times I would rather AVOID and DISTRACT than deal with how my mental health issues impacted my trauma.

So we should not judge – ourselves OR others.  We should merely be curious about our own healing journey and the healing journey of others.  How fast, how deep, how wide the healing is? That is something to just be curious about.

Kindness. Compassion. Empathy. For ourselves FIRST. Then others.  That is the true path to healing.

Let me know what you think!!!

My commentary from a year ago is below:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 1 Tamuz, 5782

Yesterday we read about the plague, God’s anger and Aaron following Moses. The portion ended with Aaron going back to Moses at the tent of Meeting.

Today we start with God speaking to Moses; he gave Moses a new mitzvah; “speak to the children of Israel and take from them a staff for each paternal house from all the leaders according to their paternal houses – twelve staffs. Inscribe each man’s name on his staff. Inscribe Aaron’s name on Levi’s staff, because there is only one staff for The head of each paternal house (and the priests are from the tribe of Levi). Place the staffs in the Tent of meeting before the Ark of Testimony where I arrange meetings with you.”

Let’s stop for a moment. This is fascinating. The context of this is about leadership. Korah and his followers just suffered because he didn’t accept the leadership of Moses. A plague befell the people. Aaron healed the plague. But people may have still been afraid. Here Moses was carving the leadership of each tribe onto a staff and putting them in the tent. It was going to be confirmed who each leader of each tribe was.

Now, God told Moses why the staffs were to be collected;

“The staff of the man whom I will choose will blossom. I will thus rid myself of the complaints of the children of Israel, which they are directing at you.”

God knew that despite what had already happened, people would STILL doubt.

Moses went to the children of Israel, the leaders each gave Moses a staff for a total of 12. Aarons staff was in the middle. Moses placed the staffs before God in the Tent of Testimony.

The next day, Moses went to the tent, and miraculously Aaron’s staff BLOSSOMED! The Torah emphasizes this by stating it twice. And not only did it blossom, it produced fruit: ripe almonds. In one day.

Moses took all the staffs out and showed the children of Israel. They saw what happened and each man took his staff back. And that is where the portion ends.

So Rabbi Moses Feinstein writes:

“Usually trees do not bear fruit until after the blossoms are long gone, yet here the staff produced fruit while the blossoms were still on it. This miracle hints at the degree to which God cherishes man’s effort.

The fruit symbolizes our achievements; the blossoms, our effort. Usually most attention is

paid to achievements. Aaron’s staff, with the blossoms and fruit remaining together, teaches us that when we perform commandments and study Torah, the blossoms- the effort and sweat

that we put in -are not forgotten.”

As we enter the month ahead, I think this is an important lesson and tool on our tool belt. The blossoms of effort this month, the sweat (physical and emotional) will not be forgotten by Hashem. I find tremendous comfort in that. How about you?

Next question. Aaron took his rod because it blossomed – but why did the other leaders take their staffs? Why not just leave them?

Rabbi Hayyim Meir Jehiel Shapiro writes this:

“Aaron took his rod because it had “blossomed, started to produce fruit and developed ripe almonds” (v. 23).

But why did the leaders retrieve their rods?

The leaders took their rods to show everyone that they had not budded, publicly proclaiming that Aaron was chosen, and not them. This is the way honest and humble people behave.”

I’m chewing and reflecting on how ”honest and humble people behave.” That’s where my brain goes to. Are we acting in a manner that is consistent with honesty and humility? Or are we being deceitful and cocky? As we enter the month ahead, I think we will be able to “see in the dark” if we continue to work to live our lives in honesty and humility.

What are your thoughts? Such a great portion today!