Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 3 Tevet, 5784
Parsha Mikketz (Genesis 41:1 -44:17)
Sixth Portion: Genesis 43:16 – 43:29
Good morning! Today is the LAST day of Hanukkah – as the sun begins to rise here on the east coast and the darkness of the new moon the past week begins to lift – we begin to move forward with light being revealed.
Light is neither “good” or “bad” and I think that is important to recognize. Light brings clarity. Clarity can bring peace or anger. If we get clarity that things we believe were going to work out a certain way, and our expectations are not going to be met? That can lead to anger. Tibetan Tantra connects this beautifully.
In the book, “Rainbow of Liberated Energy” author Ngakpa Chogyam connects this idea. In Tantra, the element water – that flows is connected to the color white. Obviously – white also connects with light. This is not the light that comes from the fire of candles (which is more connected to discriminating wisdom, compassion, and pure appropriateness) it is the light that comes from the flow of water.
Water is connected with Clarity; Mirror-Wisdom, Penetrating Insight. It faces East, and generally comes in the winter. The time connected is Dawn/Sunrise.
When this energy gets distorted, it brings anger, aggression, hatred, violence. Because when we get clarity, it puts us in touch with things we’ve resisted and must now face. This is mostly due to fear.
The question for us as we leave the light of Hanukkah, and more clarity arises; what will our emotional reaction be? Will we accept the clarity given to us? Or will we reject it and try to fight it? Will clarity bring peace or will it bring anger?
And this connects to our Torah portion today. Because things hidden are about to be revealed. We left off yesterday with Jacob finally allowing his children to go to Egypt. And we ended with them standing in front of Joseph. Let’s dig in:
16[When] Joseph saw Benjamin with them, he said to the overseer of his house, “Bring the men into the house and [give orders] to slaughter an animal and to prepare, for the men will eat with me at lunch.”
17And the man did as Joseph had said, and the man brought the men into Joseph’s house.
For those of us unfamiliar with Judaism – this is an important passage. Joseph saw that Benjamin was with them. And Joseph wanted to reassure the men – he was going to share a meal – and the sons of Jacob were going to see how it was prepared so they could eat in peace.
However, the brothers couldn’t see this move as anything but threatening because of their continued guilt. Even though they did NOTHING wrong. Because this wasn’t guilt connected to what they did to Joseph. Remember last time – they had wrestled with their situation because of that? That seems to have been dealt with. They were now afraid of something different:
18Now the men were frightened because they had been brought into Joseph’s house, and they said, “On account of the money that came back in our sacks at first, we are brought, to roll upon us and to fall upon us and to take us as slaves and our donkeys [as well].”
19So they drew near the man who was over Joseph’s house, and they spoke to him at the entrance of the house.
20And they said, “Please, my lord, we came down at first to purchase food.
21And it came to pass when we came to the lodging place that we opened our sacks, and behold! each man’s money was in the mouth of his sack, our money in full weight; and we returned it in our hand[s].
22And we brought down other money in our hand[s] to purchase food. We do not know who put our money into our sacks.”
They did nothing wrong. They didn’t steal the money. Yet, they knew how it looked to Egypt. They had “discriminating wisdom” they knew enough that although they did nothing wrong – they were wise enough to know how this could play out. They were afraid of this coming to light and bringing clarity for the people in Egypt. So they made a wise move. They brought clarity to Egypt before clarity was brought for them. They explained what happened to the man in Joseph’s house.
And here is how the man responded:
23And he said, “Peace to you; fear not. Your God and the God of your father gave you a treasure in your sacks; your money came to me.” And he brought Simeon out to them.
The man attributed it to God. And. If they were paying attention here – the man said “the God of your father.” So the hint was there for the brothers – Joseph’s house knew of (their) God – Hashem. The money they were afraid of; it was clearly Hashem’s gift.
My takeaway here.
What are some things we are afraid of – things we know we have not done – that we are worried we will be accused of? That we are afraid of? Might these be “gifts” from Hashem? Reminders that this may not be about us?
Because the odd line here is “your money came to me.”
The man basically said – the money God gave you – that you lived in fear over – wasn’t FOR you at all. It was for the man.
That money isn’t wealth. It doesn’t represent wealth. If it did, I would have expected the Torah to tell us “the man encouraged the brothers to keep the money.” But that is NOT what the Torah says. The fear they held onto wasn’t meant for them.
Whoa.
Sit with that.
What if? The fear we are holding onto isn’t meant for us?
I think about this as a parent. There are things I am afraid of for my kids. And. That isn’t my fear. ESPECIALLY as they get older. I talk to parents with older kids – in their 30s and 40s. Who have fear. What if that fear isn’t for them?
What fear are we holding onto FOR someone else?
That is the question I take away from this passage. What fears are we holding onto that are not for us? In this next month, what clarity will come to help us release that fear? And how can that help us feel PEACE and not ANGER?
Ok – let’s keep going:
24Then the man brought the men (the brothers) into Joseph’s house, and he gave [them] water, and they washed their feet, and he gave fodder to their donkeys.
25And they prepared the gift until Joseph would come at lunchtime, for they heard that there they would eat bread.
It’s interesting here the brothers washed their feet. In a sense – all of the dirt that they had brought with them – it was going to be washed off moving into the next chapter of their lives. They were at peace. Let’s keep going:
26And Joseph came home, and they brought him the gift that was in their hand[s], into the house, and they prostrated themselves to him to the ground.
27He inquired after their welfare, and he said to them, “Is your elderly father, whom you mentioned, well? Is he still alive?”
28And they said, “Your servant, our father, is well; he is still alive.” And they bowed and prostrated themselves.
29And he lifted his eyes and saw Benjamin, his brother, the son of his mother, and he said, “Is this your little brother, whom you told me about?” And he said, “May God favor you, my son. “
Joseph comes home. And the portion ends with Joseph asking questions.
He asked about his dad. He asked about Benjamin. And. What I notice? Instead of being JEALOUS about Jacob protecting Benjamin? He blessed Benjamin.
Why does the Torah use the word “son” here? I am curious. Was Joseph merely keeping up a rouse? Or is there something maybe deeper?
Let’s remember. Joseph and Benjamin came from the same mother – and she lived her life on the struggle bus. Their dad LOVED their mom more than the brothers’ other moms. And yet, her life was more of a struggle.
Why does Joseph call Benjamin “my son?”
Purely speculation here.
Joseph had ascended in Egypt. He lived in the world outside of Israel. He had ascended in this world – while Benjamin lived with Israel.
Benjamin ends up becoming almost a spiritual “first born” of Joseph. Front of the line. And though I don’t remember – and we will explore this over the next months – I wonder if that will play out as we look at the Exodus – and the wandering in the wilderness – and the inheritance. Will Benjamin be first? Will he be last? These are all curious questions.
We know Joseph’s heritage from Egypt is that his name won’t be as prominent as his sons – Ephraim and Manasseh. Where will Benjamin fall as the “first born” of Joseph within Egypt?
Just something I am reflecting on – without much in terms of answers. If you have thoughts? I’d love to hear them!
Here is my commentary from the past two years:
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for Kislev 29, 5783
Good morning! As we leave the month of Kislev – the New Moon is Saturday night; hopefully you’ve been living in harmony – especially internally. Tevet is a month of contradictions – and has a little bit of chaos to it. I read this article and it was really interesting:
https://www.chabad.org/…/Tevet-A-Month-of…
My favorite line from the article is the last line: “From all this we see even more deeply how special an opportunity Tevet is to work on aspiring to super levels.”
This next month is going to be all about working on our spiritual growth and ascension journey. There will be a lot of opportunities to balance chaos and repair. Tohu and Tikkun.
Let’s get into today’s portion- because there was something that REALLY struck me that didn’t a year ago.
As I read about the brothers returning to Egypt and their encounter with being brought to the house of Joseph…Genesis 43:18 talks about how the brothers were afraid the motives for being brought to the house of Joseph was because they were being framed.
It is interesting – as we consider the motives of others, or the universe; how much do we project our OWN issues into the motives we believe about others?
Our internal reality drives the external reality for us in many ways.
The brothers were all dealing with their guilt. They felt guilt about what they did to Joseph. And because of this, they made a LOT of assumptions about the motives of others; and being brought to the house. They thoughts they were being framed.
What were Joseph’s motives for putting the money back in the sacks from the first visit? Was he TRYING to make them feel guilty? Or was he being genuine. We already know from that story, he cried when he heard the regret on his brother’s lips from what they had done. He wanted to be sure they were genuine; and so he sent them to get their brother Benjamin. He was reconciling.
But the brothers hearts believed the motives of Joseph were nefarious. Because. They believed they DESERVED to be treated nefariously.
How often do we do this? Assume others have motives because of our own trauma?
This is not to say others don’t sometimes have motives that are nefarious towards us. But often, those motives are survival instincts on the part of someone else and we are just in the way of their perceived survival.
The point is. We project our internal reality into situations often. It’s important as we explore others motives; how our own reality frames this in our heads and hearts.
Joseph gave his brothers a clue. He had them watch the meal being prepared- which they should have seen was being prepared in a way they could eat it.
But they couldn’t see it; their emotions got in the way. Their guilt and shame got in the way.
And. How did they deal with this? In a healthy way. They came clean. And as soon as they did; they were rewarded with relief. And we get the family reunion so many years in the making.
Consider Joseph’s emotions in this situation. Being separated from the family and finally having all of the brothers back together. Joseph had let go of the anger.
Or has he? No. Joseph was ALSO holding on. He was ALSO projecting his anger. We will learn tomorrow – he still wanted to be sure. Even with the brothers coming clean; he still needed to be sure.
Those are my thoughts. Something to chew on as we enter this special holiday weekend. It’s rare that we have such a spiritual time:
- Tonight at sundown starts Shabbat
- Tomorrow night at sundown starts Rosh Chodesh Tevet.
- We are celebrating Hanukkah.
- For our Christian friends, we are celebrating Christmas on Rosh Chodesh Tevet.
- For those who are Pagan, we are ending the Saturnalia festival today.
- For those celebrate Kwanzaa, we are celebrating on Monday.
And; although it may not be as “spiritual” as these five; for everyone else? We are celebrating Festivus today! If you have grievances, feel free to air them below. Feats of strength will be at sundown.
All kidding aside (just my way of breaking the tension of lumping pagans, atheists, Christians and Jews together – how dare I) – this weekend is going to be an opportunity for all of us.
Let’s set our intentions for this new month to work on our spiritual and soulful side.
Let’s communicate our grievances internally first – and check to see if our grievances are being driven by our own projections onto others. And if we feel like our consciousness is clear, then communicate how we feel so that reconciliation can happen.
Let’s enjoy some moments of peace on earth.
Let’s enjoy some goodwill towards others.
Let’s remember the preciousness of life.
Enjoy an amazing weekend that has the potential to change all of our lives; either towards Tohu or Tikkun.
TikkunOlam47 (I’d appreciate you joining my page if this post resonated with you; more is coming as the website is being built!)
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for Kislev 29, 5782
Todays portion begins with Joseph spotting his younger brother Benjamin.
Joseph’s response is to have his house supervisor prepare a meal; slaughtering an animal to provide food. Why did this get included in the Torah?
The Talmud teaches us the idea here was the the brothers would see the meat they were eating was ok to eat as the Israelites did not eat the sciatic nerve. Joseph’s command implied that the house supervisor would slaughter the animal in front of the brothers, and they would know it was ok.
The brothers were scared because they get into town and are immediately recognized and brought to Joseph’s house. They think it’s because of the money found in their sacks when they left previously. They were so worried they told the house supervisor their story. They showed him that they brought the money back with them.
The house supervisor reassured them; it’s ok. He tells them either their merit or the merit of God has brought a hidden gift, and the house supervisor received the money paid prior.
Let’s stop here for a moment. One of the takeaways for me is the honesty and the relief that comes with being honest. The brothers had stress and anxiety about the situation with the money; instead of waiting for answers, they meet it head on; they tell their story; in hopes for a positive result. And they get one.
How often do we wait for something to happen, good or bad, without really engaging with it? The brothers told their story, and relief came. With Hashem, do we connect with him in this way? He knows our hearts. When we confess to him; even when we are worried we will be accused falsely, he takes care of us; we just need to communicate!
As the brothers were on their way to Joseph’s house, the supervisor reunites Simeon with them. He brings the into the house and gives them water to wash their feet. He fed their donkeys.
The brothers prepped the gift they brought Joseph in containers because they heard he’d be joining them.
Joseph comes home and the brothers bring the gift to him and threw themselves on the ground in front of Joseph.
Joseph asked how they were and inquired about their father, Asking if he was still alive.
The brothers told Joseph that their dad was alive and well, and then bowed their heads and once again threw themselves on the ground because he inquired about their welfare.
The portion ends with Joseph looking around the room and seeing Benjamin. He says to Benjamin; “May God be gracious to you my son.” And that’s where the portion ends.
Interesting stuff today – I think some of my main takeaways are the faithfulness of the brothers here. They did a lot of wrong things early on with Joseph. But they seem to have learned from experience. They are more humble; more aware of their place; more mature.
If we judge the brothers based on the past, we might judge harshly. But right now it does seem like they have grown. But as we will find out, Joseph isn’t fully sure; there will be additional tests to see.
What are your thoughts? What do you take out of todays passage?
No responses yet