Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 3 Tevet, 5785

Good morning! There has been a lot of energy around us – chaotic energy – for the purpose of repair.  What is being repaired/triggered/patterned in your life that we need to be aware of for the purposes of healing?

This morning, as I have been digging into my heart, some raw things came up for me. I won’t share those with you – but what I will share? When I was finished, I went to tend to my garden (growing indoors in the winter) and noticed one of the sunflowers I am growing was blooming. It was not yesterday.

Our Torah portion today is the reuniting of Jacob and his son Joseph. A returning. A healing.

What have we lost within ourselves that we can allow ourselves to discover?

This is the message of the Torah today.

What are your thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 10 Tevet, 5784
Parsha Va-Yiggash (Genesis 44:18 – 47:27)
Sixth Portion: Genesis 46:28 – 47:10

Good morning! As we are heading quickly to the light of the full moon next week, things are starting to shift and come to light – the chaos and order and coming together in a way to for our healing!  We have only 9 portions of Genesis left before we turn the page and enter Exodus.  I am curious to consider what other “beginnings” we will find in these next 9 portions!  Let’s Go!

The context is Jacob is going to Egypt. Everything is set. We learn 70 souls are going to Egypt. Let’s dig in:

28He sent Judah ahead of him to Joseph, to direct him to Goshen, and they came to the land of Goshen.

29And Joseph harnessed his chariot, and he went up to meet Israel his father, to Goshen, and he appeared to him, and he fell on his neck, and he wept on his neck for a long time.

The first thing I notice is Jacob’s name.  He was referred to as Jacob in verse 27.

27And Joseph’s sons, who were born to him in Egypt, two souls; all the souls of the house of Jacob who came to Egypt were seventy.

The Torah quickly shifts to Israel two verses later. Joseph’s reuniting with Jacob has shifted Jacob spiritually once again. And I reflect on this month. Chaos and Repair.

How chaotic was Jacob’s life after he lost Joseph?  His early life was controlled. Powerful. He got the woman he wanted. He took all of laban’s best cattle. He and Hashem were TIGHT.

Then – they LEFT the safety of Laban’s house – and in a sense, “paid” for it with chaos. The chaos was designed to repair. Because Jacob (as I wrote about with his brother Esau) had struggles with Esau.  Esau grieved – but Jacob’s reality was to not see that grief. Jacob was afraid. Jacob lived this previous portion of life in fear.  Before going to Egypt, Hashem meets with him and tells him not to be afraid.  Joseph’s reuniting with Jacob has transformed him. Healed him.  He is back to Israel.  Let’s keep going:

30And Israel said to Joseph, “I will die this time, since I have seen your face, that you are still alive.”

Israel knew he had healed. He had finally grieved his past. And Hashem gave him back his son – because in Jacob’s reality – it appeared that Hashem had taken him away.

My takeaway here for us:

• What do we believe Hashem (the Universe) has taken away from us? What do we feel like we’ve lost?
• Have we fully grieved this loss? Have we felt it to the depths of our soul to the point of letting it go and no longer being afraid? Jacob DEMONSTRATED this trust in a sense when he let go of Benjamin.
• What are we holding onto that represents something from our past we are unwilling to let go of? What are the Benjamins in our life we won’t risk because we believe we’ve lost Joseph?

To put into more clear terms –

What things are we holding onto that we’ve lost from our past that we’ve found a survival mechanism to hold onto – a lifeline – that we are unwilling to let go of?

• From our past: Is it a past relationship? Is it a career? Is it the loss of friend?
• Presently holding onto: A new relationship we should be letting go of? A job we are clutching? A friend who we need to release? A habit that helped us survive?

What do we need to risk losing (remember Jacob didn’t ACTUALLY lose Benjamin – he just had to be willing to lose him – and trust Hashem in the process)?

Ok. Let’s go further:

31Joseph said to his brothers and to his father’s household, “I will go up and tell Pharaoh, and I will say to him, ‘My brothers and my father’s household who were in the land of Canaan have come to me.

32The men are shepherds, for they were [always] owners of livestock, and their flocks and their cattle and all they have they have brought.’

33And if it comes to pass that Pharaoh calls you and asks, ‘What is your occupation?’

34You shall say, ‘Your servants have been owners of livestock from our youth until now, both we and our ancestors,’ so that you may dwell in the land of Goshen, because all shepherds are abhorrent to the Egyptians.”

Joseph shows his political prowess here. And Israel has to trust Joseph. As do his brothers. Here is what happens:

1Joseph came and told Pharaoh, and he said, “My father and my brothers and their flocks and their cattle and all that is theirs, have come from the land of Canaan, and behold, they are in the land of Goshen.”

2And from among his brothers he took five men, and he presented them before Pharaoh.

3And Pharaoh said to his brothers, “What is your occupation?” And they said to Pharaoh, “Your servants are shepherds, both we and our forefathers.”

4And they said to Pharaoh, “We have come to sojourn in the land, for your servants’ flocks have no pasture, for the famine is severe in the land of Canaan. Now, please let your servants dwell in the land of Goshen.”

And Pharoah responds:

5And Pharaoh spoke to Joseph, saying, “Your father and your brothers have come to you.

6The land of Egypt is [open] before you; in the best of the land settle your father and your brothers. Let them dwell in the land of Goshen, and if you know that there are capable men among them, make them livestock officers over what is mine.”

And Pharoah does exactly as Joseph predicts he would do. This emboldens Joseph:

7So Joseph brought his father Jacob and stood him before Pharaoh, and Jacob greeted Pharaoh.

8And Pharaoh said to Jacob, “How many are the days of the years of your life?”

9And Jacob said to Pharaoh, “The days of the years of my sojournings are one hundred thirty years. The days of the years of my life have been few and miserable, and they have not reached the days of the years of the lives of my forefathers in the days of their sojournings.”

10So Jacob blessed Pharaoh and left Pharaoh’s presence.

What really is interesting here. Israel is BACK to being Jacob. In the presence of Pharaoh – Israel is Jacob. I am wondering – would it ever be possible for Jacob to be Israel in the presence of Pharoah? Or is there something about connecting with Pharaoh where Jacob has to be in that form?

It is almost as if the Torah is indicating the shifting of energies for Jacob/Israel – when Israel is in his higher self version – connecting with Hashem, connecting with his Neshama – in a safe space – he is Israel.  When he is in the space/time he is living in, he’s Jacob.

That’s really fascinating to me.  And I reflect on where are the spaces I feel more Israel? More Jacob?

I will say – writing and thinking about the Torah each day? That is DEFINITELY an Israel space for me.  By the end of my day? I am more in a Jacob space.  And I am curious as to whether that is happening organically, or whether I can return to the Israel space in the evening?  Or whether the darkness is the place Jacob dwells, but Israel dwells within us – in the light. Just a thought.

So there you have it! May our shabbat preparation be meaningful and may we have rest this weekend as we turn to the Full moon next week, the turning of the page of Genesis and moving into Exodus, the changing of our sun calendar from 2023 to 2024, and the new moon coming on January 11 – and we enter Shevat. Which – to prepare us – remember is half shadow, half light, with Tu B’Shevat being the fulcrum of the month. The chaos of Tevet will become ordered in Shevat.

Enjoy your day!