Today’s portion covers Abram leaving Haran. Remember yesterday Abram and His father Terah left Ur of the Chaldeans to head to Canaan. They made it as far as Haran and basically got stuck.

Once Terah died, Hashem told Abram to go. But here’s something interesting; the Torah says in Genesis 12:1; “God said to Abram, “Go further away – for your benefit – from your land, your birthplace and your father’s house, to the land which I will show you.”

This is a little confusing. Abram had ALREADY left his birthplace. Why was Hashem telling to leave his birthplace?

Rabbi Hananiah Yom Tov Lipa Teitelbaum in the 19th century writes;

“Abram was not commanded merely to leave his physical homeland, but also to “depart” from the undersirable habits he had acquired there”

The idea was a sequential removal of bad habits. Rabbi Teitelbaum continues to list the sequence:

1. From your land: removing superficial habits that come from your surroundings and habitat

2. From your birthplace and fathers house: removing the more deeply ingrained habits like those formed in your childhood by your family members.

This makes more sense why bringing up Abram’s place of birth would be included.

All of us have bad habits (maybe wounds) from our current surroundings AND from our childhood. I think a lot of times I want to focus on my childhood issues first; but I wonder if Hashem understands how difficult that is, which is why he asks us to start with more recent habits we’ve picked up living in the land? Maybe Hashem wants us to have some successes so that we won’t lost hope in dealing with our habits from childhood?

When it comes to spirituality and religion; I really think it is critical to go “on our own journey.” As I reflect on our children – I don’t want them to believe what they believe because of what the mother of my children and I believe. I want them to “go for themselves” and figure out what they value and believe so that their relationship with Hashem is theirs and not ours. How much of our own spiritual development (or lack thereof) is a result of being stuck in our parents/childhood belief system, and how much is our own journey away from this system of belief and towards making our own path.

Where am I “stuck” in my own beliefs because of my environment, and because of my upbringing? How can I go for myself on a spiritual journey to discover (as one friend calls it) “the source?”

The spiritual journey is a risky one. What if I believe the wrong thing? What if I believe something that hurts me?

But we know…Abram didn’t do it alone. He brought his wife and cousin with him. We aren’t alone on our journey- we have people around us we can talk about this with.