Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 7 Av, 5784
Parsha Va-‘Ethannan – “I requested”: (Deuteronomy 3:23 – 7:11)
First Portion: Deuteronomy 3:23 – 4:4

Good morning! It is a new day today! A new week! And a new Parsha!  Today is Parsha Va-‘Ethannan – or “I requested.”

I am reflecting on the week ahead. We are almost to Tisha B’Av – the 9^th of Av. A solemn day of death and rebirth. Could this be the week we receive all we have requested? We must go through death and rebirth to get there?

So – interestingly? I started this week’s parsha yesterday. Which leads me to believe there was a reason for that. Here is what I posted yesterday:

23I entreated the Lord at that time, saying,

24″O Lord God, You have begun to show Your servant Your greatness and Your strong hand, for who is [like] God in heaven or on earth who can do as Your deeds and Your might?

25Pray let me cross over and see the good land that is on the other side of the Jordan, this good mountain and the Lebanon.”

Moses then shares with the people – he wanted to go into the land. He begged Hashem to let him go with the children.

26But the Lord was angry with me because of you, and He did not listen to me, and the Lord said to me, “It is enough for you; speak to Me no more regarding this matter.

27Go up to the top of the hill and lift up your eyes westward and northward and southward and eastward and see with your eyes, for you shall not cross this Jordan.

28But command Joshua and strengthen him and encourage him, for he will cross over before this people, and he will make them inherit the land which you will see.

Hashem tells Moses to stop asking. It was done. And to let it go.

29And we abided in the valley opposite Beth Peor.

And Moses end’s today’s portion with “and we abided.”

What does that word “abide” mean?

“accept or act in accordance with (a rule, decision, or recommendation).”

There is a concept out there called “radical acceptance.” I feel like it connects with this idea od abiding. Can we accept radically the circumstances around us in any given moment and just abide in the situation.

What are you being asked to radically accept or abide in?

So we ended with “And we abided.”

Radical acceptance. That is what we are being asked to do. Abide.

Va-‘Ethannan in the commentary I am reading says this:

“Moses prayed 515 times to enter the land of Israel, to no avail.  But Prayer is not always about receiving an answer.  Sometimes, it is enough merely to acknowledge that you are in God’s hands.”

This is abiding.

And today? We add the following:

4:1And now, O Israel, hearken to the statutes and to the judgments which I teach you to do, in order that you may live, and go in and possess the land which the Lord, God of your forefathers, is giving you.

2Do not add to the word which I command you, nor diminish from it, to observe the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.

3Your eyes have seen what the Lord did at Baal Peor, for every man who went after Baal Peor, the Lord your God has exterminated from your midst.

4But you who cleave to the Lord your God are alive, all of you, this day.

If we abide, and “cleave” to the Lord – will remain alive.

The word “cleave” stands out to me.

I love this word in English – because it is a paradox. There are two definitions of cleave:

• split or sever (something), especially along a natural line or grain.
  • Or – split (a molecule) by breaking a particular chemical bond.
  • Or – divide.
• stick fast to.
  • Or – adhere strongly to (a particular pursuit or belief).
  • Or – become very strongly involved with or emotionallyattached to (someone).

In order to live? In order to be alive? We must do both/and.

We have to separate or sever ourselves with the circumstances around us. To stick fast to our Neshama within.

AND

We need to separate ourselves from ourselves and our Neshama to care and love another.

It’s both/and.

We so often want either/or.

And? In this? We must radically accept. We must abide.

These are my thoughts. What are yours?

Here are my thoughts from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 5 Av, 5783

It’s Sunday, the first day of the week!  Today, we start a new Parsha: Va-‘Ethanan – which means “I requested.”

As we are turning this page in our lives – we moved from Numbers to Deuteronomy last week; transitioning from one segment into another.  After finding balance and letting go of the past. It is time for us to go into the promised land.  Moses is continuing his “last lecture” with the Israelites before they go.

This week’s Parsha is a little more special for me.  I have been studying this Parsha with one of my clients over the past few months in helping her prepare for her Bat Mitzvah.  The study was deep and engaging and I think we both learned a lot.

Today’s portion starts with Moses sharing with the Israelites that he asked Hashem one last time for a chance to enter into the Promised land.  And we read the words in Deuteronomy 3:26 “But God became angry with me because of you.”

This is a stern rebuke in many ways.  First we have to understand Moses’ motivation here.  Why did he ask God to enter the promised land? Was it selfish?  I don’t believe it was.  I believe Moses was explaining to the people why they need to move and change.  You see – Moses became the safety of the Israelites.  They became used to Moses in leadership.  Moses was telling them – “I can’t go into the promised land with you – because it’s not what is best for you.”  As my client shared “He wasn’t the right person at the right time.”

How often do we request of Hashem and we are met with an answer that disappoints us? How do we deal with this disappointment? I was sharing with a close friend about the idea of stress about managing the emotions of others.  As a parent, we are often managing our children’s emotions – trying to avoid disappointing them.  And yet – they are disappointed.  My friend and I discussed how we don’t like disappointing other people. I shared how I struggle for a long time in dealing with my own disappointment – never learning how to emotionally regulate myself in that feeling.  Although I may not throw myself on the ground kicking and screaming – i did struggle to express my feelings of disappointment in a healthy way.  It’s taken me to the age of 51 to learn how to express these feelings in a way that isn’t passive aggressive.

Moses was helping the people understand he recognizes their disappointment at not being able to join them in the promised land. And. He was preparing them to receive a new leader – Joshua.  Who was more than capable of leading them.

Moses tells the people that Hashem commanded Moses to prepare Joshua – and with an AMAZING endorsement from Hashem – “Joshua is capable of leading the people”  Moses is telling the people – Joshua was hand picked. And could be trusted.

My takeaway – what is it we have been requesting of Hashem?  And are we believing that the answer we are getting – if it isn’t EXACTLY what we want – is just as worthy of a response than our initial request?  As an example – I know a lot of people job searching.  They want a new job.  And they go on long interviews, and hope they get it.  And sometimes they do! Others don’t.  What is interesting is how often the conversation with those who don’t is “you dodged a bullet” when reflecting on not getting a job.  Especially as time goes on.

We have to trust Hashem knows what is best.  We can trust Hashem with our requests.  Because Hashem is within us. Hashem knows what we need.

Those are my thoughts? How about yours?

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 10 Av, 5782

Today we remember Tisha B’Av the ninth of Av. It is a dark and Solemn day, but also a day of hope.

Yesterday as 9 Av was ending, I saw the half moon shining bright in the day sky. As a kid I was always surprised when I could see the moon during the day; it created a lot of cognitive dissonance for me.

Yesterday as I saw it, I felt the idea of being so bright that we shine in the daytime was something to really reflect on.

It is one thing to shine at night when it is dark. To be the moon reflecting sunlight at night isn’t always possible. We have the new moon for a reason. But even the smallest crescent of the moon can light up the night sky.

But to be a moon that can reflect light in the day? That is something really major. Because it’s noticeable. It doesn’t ADD light to the world; it draws attention from the world onto it. From all the sources of light, seeing a moon during the day is a sight to behold. And as we live today in the memory of 9 Av, May the daylight expose our light in a way that shines on others.

Today is a dark day, yes. But I’m learning that Kabbalah also teaches that the 9 of Av is when messiah will be born. And that may be literal, but it also may be allegory. Today may be the day a new source of light is born into our lives on this journey from slavery to liberation. Keep an eye out for that. Today may be a seed planted that will sprout into a wellspring of new life for you.

Be mindful of the dark; but keep an eye on our internal light. Keep an eye out externally and internally for new seeds and sources of light.

That is my hope for us today. Those are my thoughts, as we reflect on the destruction of the temple.

And one more thing; as I typed that, I felt like the temple being destroyed was indeed a sad moment – but may also have been torn down so that the spirit can be freed from its container. Maybe there are things within us that need to be destroyed so that we can be free. Can we let go of what is being destroyed instead of trying to rebuild it? Can we allow new light and new life grow so that it can lift us higher than we could have ever imagined? That might be true liberation.

What are your thoughts?