Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 7 Kislev, 5784
Parsha Vayeitzei (Genesis 28:10 – 32:3)
Second Portion: Genesis 29:1 – 29:17
Good morning! It is the end of the first week of Kislev. May your week have been full of diversity and beauty! As we enter into the second quarter of the cycle, may the light continue to grow and shine until the full moon!
In addition, it is Thanksgiving week in America. There is all sorts of controversy about Thanksgiving and its origins. However, as we add to the week and our spiritual journey? May we focus on gratitude – and what in our lives we are grateful for. In this moment. And not be stuck in a future that has not unfolded yet!
Let’s get back to the moment in the Torah where Jacob has just built a monument after leaving Isaac.
1Now Jacob lifted his feet and went to the land of the people of the East.
2And he looked, and behold! a well in the field, and behold! three flocks of sheep lying beside it, because from that well they would water the flocks, and a huge rock was upon the mouth of the well.
3And all the flocks would gather there, and they would roll the rock off the mouth of the well and water the sheep, and [then] they would return the rock onto the mouth of the well, to its place.
4And Jacob said to them, “My brothers, where are you from?” And they said, “We are from Haran.”
5And he said to them, “Do you know Laban the son of Nahor?” And they said, “We know [him].”
Jacob set out from the well on a mission. He was committed. He was leaving his old life. He had left Isaac for Padam Aram to find a wife. He was committed to that journey.
There is a bit of confusion here though. Jacob was supposed to go to Padam Aram where he was to meet Laban. But here, he arrives at Haran.
Let’s go back a bit to Genesis 11:31&32:
31And Terah took Abram his son and Lot the son of Haran, his grandson, and Sarai his daughter in law, the wife of Abram his son, and they went forth with them from Ur of the Chaldees to go to the land of Canaan, and they came as far as Haran and settled there.
32And the days of Terah were two hundred and five years, and Terah died in Haran
Remember – we had a bit of confusion here to when we went through this. Because this was the place Abram left. This is where his father died.
This is an important place as it is where Isaac’s servant found Rebecca. It’s the hub.
The idea is that Haran is a CITY in Padan-Aram which does alleviate some confusion here.
The bottom line? Jacob realizes he has arrived at his destination.
6And he said to them, “[Are things going] well with him?” And they said, “[Things are going] well, and behold, his daughter Rachel is coming with the sheep.”
7And he said, “The day is yet long; it is not the time to take in the livestock. Water the sheep and go, pasture.”
8And they said, “We cannot [do that], until all the flocks are gathered together, and they will roll the rock off the mouth of the well, and we shall [then] water the sheep.”
9While he was still talking with them, Rachel came with her father’s sheep, for she was a shepherdess.
What was Jacob’s mission? Finding a wife. This is what he was sent to do by his father Isaac. (Genesis28:6): “And Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob and sent him away to Padan aram, to take himself a wife from there, and that when he blessed him, he commanded him, saying, “You shall not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan.”
So here we are with Jacob – at the well. Jacob is asking how Laban is doing. And they mentioned Rachel was coming with the sheep. Jacob’s response? Everyone – scoot. Leave. Give me some privacy with Rachel!
Lol. Ahhhh Jacob. I can relate. And. Hashem had his back. Because he wasn’t MEANT to be alone with Rachel. Jacob got focused on himself. And not what Hashem may have been doing. This is interesting context before getting into the love triangle of Rachel, Leah and Jacob – isn’t it?
AND. Could this be the crux of how we end up in Egypt? In slavery? What would have happened if Jacob just let the universe unfold – be curious – instead of trying to control?
Ok. So the people didn’t leave. Jacob didn’t get what he wanted. And here comes Rachel…..
10And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel, the daughter of Laban, his mother’s brother and the sheep of Laban, his mother’s brother, that Jacob drew near and rolled the rock off the mouth of the well, and he watered the sheep of Laban, his mother’s brother.
11And Jacob kissed Rachel, and he raised his voice and wept.
Um. Jacob. It seems like you aren’t listening. You are getting hyper focused on Rachel. You didn’t listen to the men around you. You didn’t wait until all the flocks were gathered. Let’s revisit what the men said. You weren’t listening, Jacob:
8And they said, “We cannot [do that], until all the flocks are gathered together, and they will roll the rock off the mouth of the well, and we shall [then] water the sheep.”
Jacob didn’t wait. He rolled the rock from the well instead of waiting for all the flocks to be gathered. And then he kissed Rachel.
Talk about missing the point! And? Instead of being curious? This is where Jacob judged. He believed Rachel was the answer. He didn’t see what was happening around him. He reacted to Rachel and ignored the Universe. He ignored Hashem.
Let’s keep going:
12And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father’s kinsman and that he was Rebecca’s son, and she ran and told her father.
13Now it came to pass when Laban heard the report of Jacob, his sister’s son, that he ran towards him, and he embraced him, and he kissed him, and he brought him into his house. He told Laban all these happenings.
14And Laban said to him, “Indeed, you are my bone and my flesh.” And so he stayed with him a full month.
15And Laban said to Jacob, “Because you are my kinsman, should you work for me gratis? Tell me what your wages shall be.”
16Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.
17Leah’s eyes were tender, but Rachel had beautiful features and a beautiful complexion.
So – had Jacob just waited. Been curious about Rachel – and see where things unfolded? How might this situation played out differently? Would Jacob have seen Leah differently?
That’s what I am seeing. Jacob REACTED to Rachel. And – again, he was excited that the Universe/Hashem was paying off so clearly right away. He had good motives – but was hyperfocused on a destination, wasn’t he?
And Jacob stayed with Laban. Worked for free. He was still free at this time, wasn’t he?
But Laban asked him a question – “what will your wages be?”
This put Jacob in a position to communicate to Laban – what matters. How does Jacob define worth?
And that last verse. We seem to be getting a set up – What is our value? What matters:
- Tenderness?
- Physical Beauty?
We know the Torah is talking about “fleshly” beauty because it focuses on features and complexion. What did Jacob need? What did Jacob want? This is where things are left off for today.
What is our takeaway? I think the choice is about love? Freedom?
We have to decide what our wages are. We are free, yes. But the wages we will be paid? That is a question Hashem leaves to us.
What will we choose? Tenderness or Beauty? Of course – there is beauty in the tenderness! But that is not the fullness of this question. It should cause us to pause and ask what it is we really desire?
Me? I am learning the importance of tenderness. Pliability. Adaptability. Not being a train on tracks – but being curious as to how things are unfolding. To stop and be soft. That is tenderness.
How are we avoiding tenderness this morning? How are we being tender this morning?
Here are my commentaries from the past two years:
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for Kislev 4, 5783
And once again- wow, what a difference a year makes. I can see a year ago I was eschewing beauty. Since then I have been learning about beauty.
I shared this on Rosh Chodesh. The idea of the month of Kislev being connected to Beauty.
https://www.chabad.org/…/Kislev-the-Third-Month-Being…
I love love love this quote from the article: “Beauty – Tiferet – is harmony within diversity. Beauty always consists of the joining of two opposites. Anything beautiful is always multifaceted, but the diverse forces are symmetrically aligned.”
Harmony within diversity. This is beauty.
That is what Jacob saw. That is what he fell in love with. Today; beauty means something much different in the world around us, and in our “collective consciousness.” We don’t often think about beauty as harmony connected to diversity.
Today, as we continue our journey to Hanukkah at the end of this moon cycle – May we appreciate the diversity around us, and find harmony within it!
What are your thoughts?
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for Kislev 4, 5782
Todays portion begins the love story/triangle of Jacob, Rachel, and Leah.
Jacob has just woken up from his dream and made a vow to Hashem.
He set off to continue his journey to Laban. He came to a well! Lots of wells in this section of the Torah, I’m noticing!
This well is a little unique, at least in the description of the Torah; as there was a large rock on the mouth of the well. When the flocks came, they would roll the rock off the mouth and give water to the sheep, and when they left they would put the rock back on.
This stands out to me. Why describe this here?
Rabbi Judah Aryeh Lieb Alter of Gur comments that the rock is a “stumbling rock” and the wells represent prayer. The stumbling rock is everywhere but at it’s strongest at “the mouth of the well (prayer). I can definitely see how distracted I can get before entering my time of Torah study and prayer. This is one of the reasons we ask Hashem to remove the rock from the well; “God, open my lips so that my mouth can declare your praise.” (psalm 51:17)
Rabbi Judah goes on to say “there are no simple solutions when it comes to prayer. The more we are conscious of God in everything that we do, the better we will be able to open our mouths in prayer. This is why prayer is called the ’service of the heart.’ – it depends on how much our hearts long for God during the day in all that we do. Each time we pray, we ‘gather the flocks’ of all the moments we thought of God during that day. That is the only thing that will help us lift the rock off the well.
I’m really chewing on that. I think sometimes I want the well to just be open so I can access it when i want; but to connect with Hashem, there needs to be action on my part. It’s not a passive thing. I need to focus and roll the rock off the well to connect. So much distracts me from rolling that rock off the well! I know Hashem has given us reminders – this is why I started wearing Tzitzit (fringes) and also why we put up mezuzahs in our house. It is still a challenge for me to really roll the rock away, and bring my flocks to Hashem in prayer. I love the concept that prayer is the “service of the heart.” It’s a way for our hearts to be serviced; and to serve.
It is at THIS well, Jacob meets Rachel, the daughter of Laban. He is talking to the men of Haran and asking about Laban. They point out Rachel, Laban’s daughter approaching the well in the middle of the day. Jacob sees Rachel and removes the rock off the mouth of the well for her. He watered Laban’s sheep for Rachel.
Then JACOB KISSES RACHEL AND WEEPS LOUDLY!!!!
what? I have questions:
- Was this kiss consensual?
- Was this a romantic kiss, a kiss on the cheek, a kiss on the hand?
- Why did Jacob weep??!??
The only thing I know is the answer to number three. According to the writings, Jacob wept because he perceived prophetically she would not be buried with Jacob.
After this, Jacob tells Rachel who he is and she runs home to tell her dad.
Laban runs and embraces and then kisses Jacob. The thinking here is that Laban ran to Jacob because he thought he was rich because of his previous interaction with Eliezer and sending Rebekah away with him. He hugs and kisses him to feel his pockets and to see if pearls were hidden In his mouth.
He goes to Laban’s house and explains what has happened- he ran away because of Esau.
Laban invites him to stay because he is family. After about a month, and Jacob tending Laban’s sheep, Laban asks him what he can pay him. We don’t get an answer right away, and the portion for today closes with the introduction of Leah and Rachel.
The Torah tells us, Leah’s eyes were tender. Rachel had beautiful features and a beautiful complexion. Ahhhhh the old Personality vs Beauty Trope!!!! Oh wait. This is the origin of that trope, isn’t it. Of COURSE personality is going to win the day with Jacob, isn’t it???
Now, this has always bothered me; Jacob chose beauty over personality. But I have missed some things.
First, why were Leah’s eyes tender? Rashi writes she was weeping because she was expecting to become Esau’s wife. Everyone had been saying ”Laban has two daughters, Rebekah has two sons….of COURSE they will be married!”
Okay. Maybe I projected my own thoughts on “tender” onto Leah. She was a crier. Rabbi Zadok he-Kohen Rabinowitz of Lublin alludes to Leah representing the path of the penitent, whose mission is to elevate the secular world to holiness. She was destined for Esau because of his transgressions. That goes unfulfilled and is tragic.
Rachel was beautiful, yes. But Rabbi Zadok also writes that she represents the approach of the righteous, whose lives are utterly holy. Since Jacob busied himself only with holy things, people said he was destined for Rachel.
This does soften my stance on Rachel a smidge. Because I’ll confess it feels like Jacob should have been with Leah. I guess maybe the takeaway here COULD be that in the age old question of beauty vs personality, the answer could be, both?
Now; we have to remember here. Beauty standards have changed throughout the generations! All of us are beautiful. We cannot forget that; even when we think we are hideous looking (myself included).
I definitely identify with Leah more than Rachel.
In terms of Jacob’s response to Laban’s question, we will just have to wait until tomorrow!
What are your thoughts?
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