8 Elul, 5784 - Tikkun Olam 47

on September 11, 2024

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 8 Elul, 5784
Parsha Ki Tetze’– “If you go out”: (Deuteronomy 21:10 – 25:19)
Fourth Portion: Deuteronomy 23:8 – 23:24

Good morning! We are winding toward the full moon where things are coming to full light for this 5784. Today I am thinking of using last year’s commentary as I have been reflecting on it a lot. There is a lot of nuggets there. And it is centered around when we are alone. In the quiet spaces of our soul. Which of these do we lean towards?

Inadequate restlessness vs Adequate Abundance

This is what I wrote:

If you spend a minute in the quiet of ourselves? Which of these feels more real? Do we feel restless? or Do we feel peace and overflow?

And – when we reflect, are we reflecting on moments we are alone? Or in relationship?

Where do our thoughts go when we are alone? From a personal standpoint, I can see where I was a year ago and my relationship with food – and how much has changed:

I’ll go first. For me? When I reflect on me alone? I do mostly feel Adequate Abundance. I am satisfied with who I am. When I look at what is written below? I feel pretty good about being alone and the answers to these questions. Until…..

But bring in food? And the spark within it? I start to feel restless. Most of you following me know I am down 105 pounds since December of 2021. And I have about 8-9 pounds to go. And this morning I had an “aha” moment. Subconsciously I like being 8-9 pounds away from my final goal. Because once I reach my goal? What’s next? Part of me knows I will feel restless there. Like I won’t have more “work” to do when I hit 175. I can just be. I am inadequate at 175. At 184? I feel good. I know there is work I still need to do, and I know the work I have done. I feel good.

And? I realized the 175 goal lead to a restlessness because it was just a number. A year later? I have let go a little bit with my relationship with food (and I need to re-engage) as I am up 20 pounds. However? The shift I made was around strength. I want to keep my body strong. The food isn’t the issue. It’s the purpose of food – it’s the spark to keep my body strong and/or weaken it. So instead of focusing on “controlling” what I eat? I have allowed myself a little more flow, and work on trying to add some muscle. I am up to 75 second planks, 16 shoulder touches on each side from plank position, and other strength activities as well. When I started this journey? I could barely do 30 second planks, and I could not do 1 or 2 shoulder touches. That is data in my relationship to my BODY – which is the spark that food provides.

Ok let’s dig in. I will likely be bringing in a lot from last year. Adequate abundance vs Inadequate restlessness.

Here we go:

8You shall not despise an Edomite, for he is your brother. You shall not despise an Egyptian, for you were a sojourner in his land.

9Children who are born to them [in] the third generation may enter the assembly of the Lord.

10When a camp goes out against your enemies, you shall beware of everything evil.

The idea here is that we may see someone as an enemy. But they are not:

Some of our enemies aren’t really our enemies – they are family (Don’t despise the Edomites and Egyptians)

There are things in my past that enslaved me. They are my “Egypts” – things I am working to avoid. I need to lean in and embrace those Egypts. Food isn’t something to be afraid of. Food is not my enemy. It serves a purpose.

Question for us: What Egypts are we holding onto as Enemies that could be impacting our feelings of adequacy and restlessness?

Food has the SPARK to reach my goals for my body. I am free to put things in my body that are centered more on pleasure or fuel. There is a balance of that – because we are free.

Let’s keep going:

11If there is among you a man who is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, he shall go outside the camp. He shall not come within the camp.

12And it shall be, towards evening, he shall bathe in water, and when the sun sets, he may come within the camp.

13And you shall have a designated place outside the camp, so that you can go out there [to use it as a privy].

14And you shall keep a stake in addition to your weapons; and it shall be, when you sit down outside [to relieve yourself], you shall dig with it, and you shall return and cover your excrement.

15For the Lord, your God, goes along in the midst of your camp, to rescue you and to deliver your enemies before you. [Therefore,] your camp shall be holy, so that He should not see anything unseemly among you and would turn away from you.

The idea here is waste. Excrement is literally food waste that does not get absorbed by our body. In a sense it is food that has been transformed into a spark that is no longer for us.

Keep our camps clean of “nocturnal emissions and defecation” – do it outside the camp.

When I think about this, I think about waste. How do we absorb waste within us, vs removing it from our lives? How do we define “waste.” I hear often “I don’t want to waste my time.” Can we REALLY waste time? Instead, what if we are looking at waste in terms of purpose. I used that time (or spent those moments) not living out my purpose. That is a normal part of life. It should not create a feeling of inadequacy within us. We just need to do it outside our camp. If we have abundance? There will be waste as our souls “digest” the sparks that need lifting, right? We don’t need to feel inadequate about that.

Questions for us: What “waste” (emotional, spiritual, physical?) are we holding onto that creates feelings of adequacy? What do we need to put outside our camp?

And I am ALSO reflecting that although the waste does not provide a spark for our bodies anymore? It STILL contains a spark. It provides LIFE for the plants outside the camp. It seems like a beautiful cycle. The waste provides a spark for the plants that provide a spark for our bodies.

Letting go of our waste? Those things we are holding onto? Can be released to provide NEW sparks for our adequate abundance.

16You shall not deliver a slave to his master if he seeks refuge with you from his master.

17[Rather,] he shall [be allowed to] reside among you, wherever he chooses within any of your cities, where it is good for him. You shall not oppress him.

The idea here is being a refuge for others. How can we hold safe space for others on their journey? This is key.

Don’t turn a slave over to his master if he comes to you for refuge. Do not oppress those who were enslaved

What are we doing with our relationships? What are we prioritizing? Are we giving? Or are we avoiding? Can people have “refuge” within us? Or do we make them “work.”

This hits home for me. Am I a safe space for people to have refuge? Or do I feel restless because I am feeling like I am inadequate as a space of refuge for someone? Do I subconsciously push people away because I feel inadequate? Or do I find space for them to take refuge?

Questions for us: Do people feel like they can take refuge with us? Would we take refuge with ourselves? How much energy and abundance do we have for others to seek refuge from? Who in our lives do we see as places of refuge? Have we communicated that to them?

If we can be in a space of Adequate Abundance? It allows for others to feel safe with us. If we are in a space of inadequate restlessness? That may trigger people not feeling safe with us.

Let’s keep going:

18There shall not be a prostitute of the daughters of Israel, and there shall not be a male prostitute of the sons of Israel.

19You shall not bring a prostitute’s fee or the price of a dog, to the House of the Lord, your God, for any vow, because both of them are an abomination to the Lord, your God.

It is interesting how the version I read last year used the word “promiscuous” and Chabad’s version (where I am pulling the text from this year) uses prostitutes.

This is what I wrote last year (and I am changing the words around):

Jews should not prostitute themselves.

What values are we sacrificing to engage in physical intimacy with someone else? What is the cost of this? Do we leave feeling inadequate and restless? Or do we feel safe with abundance? Or do we feel inadequate even allowing ourselves physical intimacy? Like there is nothing we even possess we COULD sacrifice in order to feel adequate and abundant when it comes to physical intimacy?

Questions for us: How satisfied are we in our physical intimacy with others? What are we exchanging to be ok with physical intimacy with another? What if that other is food? What am I sacrificing in order to feel pleasure in my relationship with food?

I am not just talking sex. For a long time I felt unworthy of EVEN A HUG. I felt like I couldn’t even ask for an embrace. I felt inadequate and restless instead of just asking and giving hugs.

Ok. Let’s bring this home:

20You shall not give interest to your brother, [whether it be] interest on money, interest on food or interest on any [other] item for which interest is [normally] taken.

21You may [however,] give interest to a gentile, but to your brother you shall not give interest, in order that the Lord, your God, shall bless you in every one of your endeavors on the land to which you are coming to possess.

Charging interest when giving something away for someone to borrow. This is what I wrote:

Don’t charge interest on loans to your brother – everything we have has a purpose – sparks for elevation.

I have come to understand Hashem provides for me. Always. What I have struggled with is believing the universe provides for me to provide for OTHERS. I don’t feel adequate providing for those around me. I do it out of selfish gain.

Questions for us: How can we be more generous in our relationships with others? In our relationship with food? Money? From a place of abundance and adequacy, even if we don’t feel adequate?

And Finally:

22When you make a vow to the Lord, your God, you shall not delay in paying it, for the Lord, your God, will demand it of you, and it will be [counted as] a sin for you.

23But if you shall refrain from making vows, you will have no sin.

24Observe and do what is emitted from your lips just as you have pledged to the Lord, your God, as a donation, which you have spoken with your mouth.

What we say matters.

Be careful what vows you make. If you make one, fulfill it. And. Don’t be afraid of making vows.

Questions for us: How careful are we with our words? In relationship with others, do we speak from a place of abundance or inadequacy? Are we restless so we speak to others because we are just bored and want to create drama?

So there you have it.

Inadequate restlessness vs Adequate Abundance. Both are great band names. Which Band are you currently playing in? Which band do you WANT and DESIRE to be in?

I’d love your thoughts!

Here are my thoughts from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 6 Elul, 5783

First a quick summary of today’s portion because it covers a LOT:

Some of our enemies aren’t really our enemies – they are family (Don’t despise the Edomites and Egyptians)
Keep our camps clean of “nocturnal emissions and defecation” – do it outside the camp.
Don’t turn a slave over to his master if he comes to you for refuge. Do not oppress those who were enslaved
Jews should not be “promiscuous” and exchange money for sex. Gentiles? Cool.
Don’t charge interest on loans to your brother – everything we have has a purpose – sparks for elevation.
Be careful what vows you make. If you make one, fulfill it. And. Don’t be afraid of making vows.

Those are a LOT of key points. And I want to dig in because I think it relates to something I’ve been reflecting on lately.

Inadequate restlessness vs Adequate Abundance

And my first question for all of us is this:

If you spend a minute in the quiet of ourselves? Which of these feels more real? Do we feel restless? or Do we feel peace and overflow?

And – when we reflect, are we reflecting on moments we are alone? Or in relationship?

I think about who I am in relationship to everything else. Money. Food. My kids. Friends. Potential Romantic Committed relationships. Then? Inadequate restlessness kicks in to high gear.

I feel worthy and valuable by myself. Not that I “deserve” to be alone – but being alone, considering just me and the universe around me? I feel safe and comfortable. Adequate. Abundance.

So let’s bring back today’s Torah themes:

Some of our enemies aren’t really our enemies – they are family (Don’t despise the Edomites and Egyptians)

Question for us: What Egypts are we holding onto as Enemies that could be impacting our feelings of adequacy and restlessness?

Keep our camps clean of “nocturnal emissions and defecation” – do it outside the camp.

Questions for us: What “waste” (emotional, spiritual, physical?) are we holding onto that creates feelings of adequacy? What do we need to put outside our camp?

Don’t turn a slave over to his master if he comes to you for refuge. Do not oppress those who were enslaved

What are we doing with our relationships? What are we prioritizing? Are we giving? Or are we avoiding? Can people have “refuge” within us? Or do we make them “work.”

Jews should not be “promiscuous” and exchange money for sex. Gentiles? Cool.

Questions for us: How satisfied are we in our physical intimacy with others? I am not just talking sex. For a long time I felt unworthy of EVEN A HUG. I felt like I couldn’t even ask for an embrace. I felt inadequate and restless instead of just asking and giving hugs. What are we exchanging to be ok with physical intimacy with another? What if that other is food? What am I sacrificing in order to feel pleasure in my relationship with food?

Don’t charge interest on loans to your brother – everything we have has a purpose – sparks for elevation.

Questions for us: How can we be more generous in our relationships with others? In our relationship with food? Money? From a place of abundance and adequacy, even if we don’t feel adequate?

Be careful what vows you make. If you make one, fulfill it. And. Don’t be afraid of making vows.

So there you have it.

Inadequate restlessness vs Adequate Abundance. Both are great band names. Which Band are you currently playing in? Which band do you WANT and DESIRE to be in?

I’d love your thoughts!

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 11 Elul, 5782

We are getting closer to the full moon when the light of our introspection of the month comes to full fruition. How are your intentions?

Moses is continuing here….

He starts with Edomites; we should not despise the Edomites (the way yesterday he told us to handle the Ammonites and Moabites). Edom is our brother. And despite how we were treated, they are family. And. He ALSO tells us to not despise the Egyptian. We were residents in the land of Egypt. Moses says, in the third generation they can convert and marry a Jewish woman and enter the congregation of Hashem.

This is really interesting to me. Even though the Egyptians enslaved us, we are called to love them because they did provide us a home prior to the enslavement. We WERE residents, and for that there is honor. Family is honored. This is a big deal I think; especially in our spiritual journey toward liberation. Even though we may be freed physically from our Egypts, so long as they have a hold on us emotionally and spiritually, we cannot be truly free!

Moses moves us into keeping our camps sanctified – especially when we go out against the enemy.

He starts with “nocturnal emissions.” He uses this as an example of ritual impurity. Now. Keep in mind, ritual impurity is NOT punishable by death. It’s merely a stage, a cycle, a process. And the rectification of it is pretty simple:

Go out of the camp. Don’t go to the Levite Camp. Immerse in the mikveh (ritual pool). When the sun sets, he may come into the camp.

That’s a 12 hour process. Sun up to sun down. That’s it. Keeping in mind ALL those passages that had to do with ritual impurities. This is the prescription.

Moses then gets into defecation. People were to defecate outside the camp. Dig a hole. Cover it up with dirt.

The idea, Moses tells us, is to keep our camps holy. My takeaway here is that our camp is our mind, body and soul. We are to remain sanctified and set apart. This is all not just about a literal sense; it’s a spiritual internal sense as well.

And what comes next? Moses hits us HARD on slavery. – we should NOT hand over a slave to his master if he seeks refuge with you from his master. He should be allowed to reside among us wherever he chooses. In one of our cities. Where it is good for him. We should not oppress him.

From a literal sense, it seems as if Moses is telling us there is nothing greater as a mitzvah as to provide refuge for a slave who does NOT want to be enslaved (keeping in mind the Torah talks about those who choose to remain in servitude to their masters).

From a spiritual sense, my takeaway is that if someone comes to us for refuge from their personal Egypt, we should help them and not turn them over to their master. As an example; if someone comes to me who wants to deal with their addiction, and seeks refuge with me, the loving thing to do is to remove that addictive piece from my house or environment while they are with me. If they choose to leave, that’s on them. If they want my help and refuge, that’s on me. That is our responsibility. We cannot keep a slave from returning to their master. But we should not turn them over to their master. That is a big difference. And something I’m really reflecting on.

Ok. Moses moves us from slavery to promiscuity.

And he makes an interesting distinction. Let’s approach this without judgment but instead curiosity.

He says this:

No Jewish man may be promiscuous.
No Jewish woman may be promiscuous.

What can we take away from this?

For me? It’s the idea that promiscuity isn’t necessarily “bad” or “evil.” It is something that God expected the Jewish people to avoid.

My question now becomes; what does the Torah mean with this word “Promiscuity?” The idea is more related to exchanging sex for money more than anything else. Because the immediate next line is about payments received for sex. The Jewish people were not permitted to bring a payment for sex to God as an offering. Keeping in mind in those days, payment was usually in the form of animals.

So. My takeaway here? Possibly? Non-Jews; sex for money not the evil our society has made it out to be. For those of us who are Jewish; it’s not for us to have sex for money.

Now; what is the spiritual takeaway in all of this?

What are the things I’m selling my values and soul for in exchange for financial and material gain? What am I choosing (in my freedom) to tie a cord with that sacrifices my liberation? That is the question for us to reflect on!

Ok. Now Moses moves us to loans and interest. Wow. We are running the gamut today. loving our brother and former oppressor, nocturnal emission and keeping our camps clean, rules for defecation, refuge for slaves, prostitution. Now loans and interest!

Moses tells us when providing loans to Jews, we may not charge interest. For non-Jews we can (and should) charge interest.

Moses tells us why. If we don’t charge our brother interest, God will bless the work we do.

Here is what Kabbalah says about this:

Have you ever wondered why your shirt ended up as your shirt and not somebody else’s?

The Kabbalah teaches that all your property-the food you eat, the clothes you wear, the objects you own, even the money you possess–contains holy sparks which you elevate by using your property for a good or holy purpose.

But it goes further than that: the sparks in your property are personalized. They were meant for you to elevate. They come from the same spiritual “flavor” as your soul.

So when the Torah says that you may not charge interest, it is simply giving you a guide to identify which sparks belong to whom. Don’t ask your friend for interest; the sparks in his money belong to him and not to you. (End quote)

The idea that our material possessions contain “sparks” or a soul is fascinating. And those sparks are designed for a holy purpose – to be elevated. Consider that – and when you take stock of what you have; how are you elevating your possessions?

Moses then finishes this portion with commenting on our lips and words. If we make a vow, we fulfill it. Period. We should not delay.

It is also sinful to refrain from making vows.

But we should be careful what our lips say- because it makes our internal an external reality.

Wow. This was a lot today! What are your thoughts?

Categories: