Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 1 Elul, 5784
Parsha Shofetim – “Judges”: (Deuteronomy 16:18 – 21:9)
Fourth Portion: Deuteronomy 18:6 – 18:13
Good morning! Today is the last new moon of 5784. The next one will usher in an new spiritual year – 5785. This cycle is meant to be a bridge between what we’ve been learning this past year and what we are building as a foundation to learn in the next. It is a beautiful time for us energetically. Our intent for this month can be focused on what we want to bring with us, and what we want to leave behind.
I want to highlight the lessons of the past years in reading this passage. I encourage you to read below the thoughts from the past two years – they are deep and full of learning that can help us on our journey.
I want to highlight relational needs.
- Connection
- Play
- Friendship
- Creativity
- Joy
- Agency
- Autonomy
- Safety
Which of these are we lacking in the moment? Which of these cups feels full? Where do we need more balance? And? In these areas:
- Within us
- Career/Job/Vocation
- Familial relationships (parent/child)
- Romantic relationships
- Friendships
I almost envision a rubric self-assessment. On a scale of 1 to 5 (1 is little to none, 5 is full), rate the following:
- Within myself do I feel…
- Connected to myself?
- I have enough time to play on my own?
- Speak friendly to myself?
- I am creative on my own?
- Joy with myself?
- Agency to do what I want?
- Autonomy to make my own decisions?
- Safe with myself to have hard conversations and be vulnerable and intimate with myself?
- In my career/job/vocation do I feel…
- Connected to others?
- I have enough time to play with others?
- Speak friendly to others?
- I am creative with others?
- Joy with others?
- Agency to do what I want?
- Autonomy to make my own decisions?
- Safe to ask for what I need and want without undesirable consequences?
- In my family (as a parent and/or as a child) do I feel..
- Connected to my parents and/or children?
- I have enough time to play with my parents and/or children?
- Speak friendly to my parents and/or children?
- I am creative with my parents and/or children?
- Joy with my parents and/or children?
- Agency to do what I want and still be connected to my parents and/or children?
- Autonomy to make my own decisions and still be connected to my parents and/or children?
- Safe to ask for what I need and want without undesirable consequences?
- In my romantic relations (and/or friendships) do I feel…
- Connected to my romantic partner(s) and/or friends?
- I have enough time to play with my romantic partner(s) and/or friends?
- Speak friendly to my romantic partner(s) and/or friends?
- I am creative with my romantic partner(s) and/or friends?
- Joy with my romantic partner(s) and/or friends?
- Agency to make decisions independent of my romantic partner(s) and/or friends?
- Autonomy to make my own decisions and still be connected to my romantic partner(s) and/or friends?
- Safe to ask for what I need and want without undesirable consequences?
32 scales – 1 to 5.
Four areas (self, career, family and romantic/friendships)– 8 to 40 per area.
8 needs (connection, play, friendship, creativity….) – 4 to 20 in each need.
Total score 32 to 160.
Reflection questions:
Where is your highest score(s)?
Where is your lowest score(s)?
Can we shift some energy from your highest scored area to your lowest?
This is what I am reflecting on.
Let’s dig in:
6And if a Levite comes from one of your cities out of all Israel where he sojourns, he may come whenever his soul desires, to the place the Lord will choose,
7and he may serve in the name of the Lord, his God, just like all his Levite brothers, who stand there before the Lord.
8They shall eat equal portions, except what was sold by the forefathers.
Priests can come and go where they please. The soul’s desire is able to go to the place Hashem will choose whenever he wants.
9When you have come to the land the Lord, your God, is giving you, you shall not learn to do like the abominations of those nations.
10There shall not be found among you anyone who passes his son or daughter through fire, a soothsayer, a diviner of [auspicious] times, one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer,
11or a charmer, a pithom sorcerer, a yido’a sorcerer, or a necromancer.
I’ve written extensively on this (see below) – this is about consulting spirits for knowing the future. It is a waste of energy to inquire about the future, because it is not written yet. And? It is written because Hashem exists outside of time. We have chosen (our souls have chosen) to limit ourselves in these bodies. We get to make choices in each moment we come to.
12For whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord, and because of these abominations, the Lord, your God is driving them out from before you.
13Be wholehearted with the Lord, your God.
Be wholehearted. This is the calling. Grounded.
This is my takeaway from today’s portion. I am curious to know your thoughts. And whether the assessment is helpful!
Here are my thoughts from the past two years:
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 29 Av, 5783
Today’s portion is really interesting to me. We are on one hand told the priests could go “wherever they wanted to go” and then immediately we are followed up with “don’t go into the future.” I’m reflecting on why? I would really encourage you to read my commentary from a year ago below before you go any further here. I am going to build off it based on something that came out of my meditation this morning.
I’m currently listening to a meditation class on relationships by Oren Jay Sofer. Now, we often hear “relationships” being about another human beings – but have we ever considered the relationships with have with EVERYTHING? I have been reflecting on my relationship with food – which has significantly changed this past year (shedding 100 pounds has made this shift more “real” because I can see my emotional relationship with food changing my physical body). I am starting to apply this same idea to my relationship with money. And with my kids. And with my friends.
I’ve spent a lot of time over the last 18 months, and a LOT of my writing to this point has been about my relationship with MYSELF. I write a lot about falling in love with ourselves. And I think that is CRUCIAL. Our relationship with ourselves is the FOUNDATION of our relationship with others’ (including our relationship with material things, food, entertainment, etc).
Something that struck me with Oren was this idea of how our feelings and emotions are ALWAYS connected to our needs. Both met and unmet. He discussed some needs that I think I knew I had but was never really curious about:
- Connection
- Play
- Friendship
- Creativity
- Joy
- Agency
- Autonomy
Just sit with these needs. Do they resonate? What order would you put them in TODAY? Which of these needs are being met TODAY? Which may not be?
I realize. On my own – I have learned to navigate these needs for myself. If you know or have followed me the past few years, I have learned to be connected to myself. I’ve learned to play and have adventures with myself. I’ve become my own best friend. I have learned creativity within, I have found joy. I have spoken about sovereignty, which is connected to agency and autonomy. I am unwilling to sacrifice my agency and autonomy to be who I am for someone (or something) else.
So I feel good when I am on my own. However, when I bring something or someone else into the mix? Things get jammed up, don’t they? I end up turning OVER agency for my feelings and needs to something and someone else.
If I feel a lack of connection – with my kids, with friends – I will turn to FOOD or SPENDING to fill these needs for myself. I almost “abandon” who I am in the moment because instead of realizing I can meet these needs on my own – I decide in the moment I need something ELSE to fill this need.
Thanks to my CBT coach around food, she likened these to “points on a map” to identify where I may need to focus attention on within. To find more balance – because it’s not a switch.
Meaning, when someone else comes into my life I am suddenly not responsible for these needs; they become responsible. I need to be more fluid and agile.
So how does this relate to the portion today? I am free to go where I want. I can be conscious of my needs being met – I can make decisions consciously to have these needs met – and sometimes it’s lunch with my oldest daughter. Sometimes its a hike by myself. Sometimes it’s taking a friend to coffee – or helping them fix a problem. But the agency is mine.
And – I realize – the reason we shouldn’t consult and divine and think about the future?
How often do I do this to convince myself these unmet needs (and my current feelings) will be taken care of…..when….
If I live in the future (or the past) then I am missing the moment. To “go where I want” within me and WITH food, money, friends, etc.
What are your thoughts? I’d love to know
Oh. One more bonus thought.
When we see OTHERS struggling with THEIR Feelings? Maybe instead of trying to “fix” their feelings? We can focus on maybe what need of THEIRS is being unmet (or met) and consider how we might support them in that. If someone is upset because their AGENCY has been taken away from them? Maybe the move is to listen and give them agency? If they are upset because they lost connection and feel disconnected? Maybe the move is to lean into the connection we have? Just something ELSE I am reflecting on!
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 4 Elul, 5782
Today’s portion has Moses continuing about the priests.
Moses says; any priest can go wherever he wants – wherever his soul desires to a place God will choose. The priests are not bound by geography and share a portion of the offering in whatever city he is in.
The portion closes today with some prohibitions.
When we enter the promised land; the land Hashem is giving us. The land of liberation. We must not learn the practices of other nations.
I take this to mean we must be true to ourselves. We must be grounded in who we are created to be. Not trying and get validation from external sources. True liberation comes from the power within.
Here are some examples Moses gives of practices not to engage in:
- passing our son or daughter between the two fires of Molech
- practicing stick divination
- acting on the basis of fortuitous times
- divines on the basis of strange occurrences
- practices sorcery
- divines with animals
- turns to the sorcery of the ‘ov or yidde’oni
- raises and consults with spirits of the dead
Let’s stop here for a moment.
I have questions.
First – what is divination?
Second – what is sorcery?
Third – what is the ‘ov and yidde’oni?
So. Here’s some definitions I googled for us:
Divination- the practice of seeking knowledge of the future or the unknown by supernatural means.
Sorcery – the practice of seeking knowledge of the future or the unknown by supernatural means. (Basically the same)
‘Ov and Yidde’oni- from Chabad’s website it says this:
“The 37th prohibition is that we are forbidden from requesting information or an answer to a question from one who performs the practice of yidoni.
The source of this commandment is G‑d’s statement, “Among you there shall not be found anyone…who consults ov or yidoni.”
In the words of the Sifra, “[In the verse],’Do not turn to the idols called ov or yidoni,’ ov refers to a pitom who speaks from his armpit, and yidoni is one who speaks from his mouth. They are punished by stoning, and the one who consults them transgresses a prohibition.”
So. I’m sensing a theme here. Hearing from spirits is different than consulting spirits it would seem. Actively seeking out spirits for the purposes of knowing the future? That seems to be spoken against here.
As souls in our human bodies, we are limited in what we are to know about the future.
The spiritual vitamin in the Chumash says this:
Don’t try to make forecasts about future events. We are commanded in the Torah, “be simple-hearted with God, your God” This means that we should wholeheartedly put our faith in God, following His commandments without question or speculation, and enjoy a complete sense of security in the faith and conviction that God’s benevolent Providence extends to every one individually.”
By consulting anything to try and figure out our future? We are showing a lack of faith in Hashem.
And yet, there were prophets who were given messages from God to speak to the people that were about the future!
The passage right before this one tells us that priests could go where they wanted – speaking messages for God. Ministering in the name of God. And yet we are told “don’t consult” the dead to predict our future.
It certainly feels a bit confusing.
My thoughts come back to “knowing the future.” We cannot know the future. That is the limitation of our human body form. Our souls could theoretically know the future because our Neshama is a piece of Hashem in us. But that isn’t why we are here. That isn’t our purpose.
The last line of todays portion tells us “not to probe into the future.” That seems to be the key. Wanting to know our future is a very human thing (I think). We crave stability and control. I’m going to shift out of Judaism for a minute and share an amazing quote I’ve learned studying Tibetan Tantra (thanks to one of my friends, Amber):
“We (our human bodies) seek assurances from life that confirm the unconfirmable: that we are solid separate, permanent and continuous.”
The truth is we are not solid. We flow. We are not separate – we are all interconnected. We are not permanent on this earth. Our human bodies will fade. We are not continuous. Our bodies will not continue. But our Neshama? That is who we truly are. And our Neshama flows, it is not separate, it is however permanent and continuous because it is a piece of Hashem.
We want to know the results and outcomes- because that grounds us. Instead of being grounded in Hashem. Instead of trusting the result and not resisting the results. Trusting the results are for our good. They bring us to the path of enlightenment- to liberation. To freedom.
What are your thoughts?
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