Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 30 Av, 5784
Parsha Shofetim – “Judges”: (Deuteronomy 16:18 – 21:9)
Third Portion: Deuteronomy 18:1 – 18:5

Good morning! It is interesting to read what I wrote back in 2020, what I wrote last year at this time and see I have accomplished my intentions.

This is what I wrote:

What I am beginning to see is that 5784 is going to really be about healthy relationships – with money, with food, with my kids, with my friends, with other humans.

A year later? I see this in so many ways. Still work to do, as 5785 is going to be specifically about a healing my relationship with money (I think).  I wrote this, and it is a good reminder:

I can see – I am no longer trying to survive. I am grounded.  I am empowered. I am healing. I am safe. I am secure. I am resilient. I am courageous.  Not in every moment.  But I am no longer trying to tell myself I am not safe when I am.  Instead when I feel unsafe, I remind myself that I am safe.  This is a major shift these past years.

Let’s dig in:

18:1The Levitic kohanim, the entire tribe of Levi, shall have no portion or inheritance with Israel; the Lord’s fire offerings and His inheritance they shall eat.

2But he shall have no inheritance among his brothers; the Lord is his inheritance, as He spoke to him.

So we turn to the priests. And I have mentioned before – we can look at the priest within us. The universe is our spiritual inheritance. The spirit within is different than the mind or body.  We have to treat it differently.

3And this shall be the kohanim’s due from the people, from those who perform a slaughter, be it an ox or a sheep, he shall give the kohen the foreleg, the jaws, and the maw.

4The first of your grain, your wine, and your oil, and the first of the fleece of your sheep, you shall give him.

5For the Lord, your God, has chosen him out of all your tribes, to stand and serve in the name of the Lord, he and his sons, all the days.

What I am reflecting this morning? Our spiritual priest is called to receive. They don’t give.  If we do not nurture our priest? We will become exhausted.  Most of our life we are called to give. There is a part of us – that spiritual part? That is designed to receive. Are we in touch with that part of us that is designed to receive from the rest of us?

I was talking to a friend this morning and we were discussing depression. They asked about running on an “empty cup” and it came down to this for me:

I try not to run it close to empty if I can. Sometimes it happens, and I’m tender and kind to myself – or have support in my life to remind me to be kind and tender. I put boundaries up.

The difference between boundaries and control – I put up boundaries that dictate my behavior. I don’t set rules to control what others do or react.

With my kids – there are certainly rules. They need to change behaviors. And. Sometimes I have to put up a boundary with them.

It really comes down to a simple choice. Will I write myself a villain in my own story in order to be the hero is someone else’s? Or will I be the hero in my own story, and then keep people in my life who see that as an heroic act? Or will I keep people in my life that see me as a villain for choosing to be me my own hero – while they write me as a villain in their story.

Will we choose to be the hero in our own story, and keep people in our lives that applaud me for making that choice? Or will we continue to sacrifice being the hero in our story to keep people in our life who would be offended we are choosing that for ourselves?

That’s it. That is the inheritance of the Levites. Of the priest within. Receiving joy. Goodness. From the universe.

Those are my thoughts. What are yours?

Here are my thoughts from the last two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 28 Av, 5783

We are headed once again towards the darkness of the new moon and a new month.  Thursday night this week (at sundown) is the end of the month of Av, and the beginning of Elul.  It is the last few days of setting our intentions as we head towards the end of the spiritual year, and the beginning of 5784 which will happen with the new moon in September (Sundown on September 15th).  Then our cycle for the year begins again!

As we listen to Moses bring us “home” to the promised land this time, he is speaking in today’s portion about the priests and Levites. They get an inheritance – but their inheritance is not like the other tribes. They are to be provided FOR.

The question for us – how are we providing for our internal priest? Our spirituality? What practices in terms of our time, our space, our finances are we designating for our spiritual liberation?  Or do we build our life trying to AVOID our priest?  Trying to avoid our power?  Trying to avoid relationship?

As we connect with our soul, and begin the final stages of this journey from the external to the internal, what practices this year do we want to bring with us moving forward?

One big thing (for me) I want to bring with me is the practice of now LEADING meditations.  Today, actually is the three year anniversary of when I started meditating and journaling.

This is my first entry:

August 15, 2020:

When I am trying to survive – there is no time to care for things or others.  It is hard to care for others when I am just trying to make it to the end of each day.

I need to come back to the mission for our family. What is my goal? What am I hoping to accomplish with my kids?

• • Healthy relationships
  • Safe and Secure
  • Resilience
  • Courage

From Chad (My therapist) -There is this idea of inflammation – in the body, we used to ice it down – but that can slow the healing process.  The body is just flushing out the toxins – which is why the body reacts the way it does.  This allows the healing process to happen and speed up recovery.

You can see how much I was living in slavery. Survival. Three years later (sun cycles) and I am in a different place.

I have done a lot of work on my feeling safe and secure. I have worked on resilience and courage.  What I am beginning to see is that 5784 is going to really be about healthy relationships – with money, with food, with my kids, with my friends, with other humans.

I can see – I am no longer trying to survive. I am grounded.  I am empowered. I am healing. I am safe. I am secure. I am resilient. I am courageous.  Not in every moment.  But I am no longer trying to tell myself I am not safe when I am.  Instead when I feel unsafe, I remind myself that I am safe.  This is a major shift these past years.

Yesterday, in the meditation circle I led, this theme of “worth” and “worthiness” arose.  I shared this with my group:

Lets just sit with the idea of worthiness. We are worthy. Don’t think about it. Just be. Be worthy. Our existing. This moment. We belong. We matter. We are worthy. Not because of anything we’ve done.  Although, everything we have done has brought us to THIS moment.  Even things in our past we have felt (and continue to feel) guilt and shame over. We are worthy in this moment. Those past choices and decisions led us here. In this space. How many microdecisions did we and the universe make to bring us together in this place. In this moment. This is not because of chance. It’s because we are worthy.

Let’s sit with this idea of worth and worthiness as we think about the priest within us.

I’d love your thoughts!

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 3 Elul, 5782

Good morning!

This morning we continue with Moses’ last lecture and we have a short portion to digest. Moses talks to us today about the priests and Levites.

He starts today’s portion telling us the priests for the tribe of Levi will have no portion from the spoils of war. Nor will they get an inheritance.

Instead, the Levites receive God’s fire-offerings – their ”inheritance” is what the people provide in worship to Hashem.

Moses ends the passage, telling us Priests have certain rights:

• Any time an ox or sheep is slaughtered, the priest gets a foreleg; the jaw and tongue, and the end-stomach
• The priests get the first portion of the people’s grain, wine and oil.
• The priests get the first shearlings of the fleece from the sheep.

So, they are provided for. Remember, they also get cities in each of the towns.

Moses tells us; God chose the Levites from all the tribes to serve and stand in the name of God: a big weight and responsibility.

I’m reflecting on how the spiritual side of our liberation isn’t grounded in the materialism of our world. Our spirituality- the part of us that is called to serve God is going to be connected to the first “fruits” of the thoughts and things we pour ourselves into. When we enter liberation, we must remember that with our Material gains, comes with it the responsibility to provide to our spiritual side. We cannot neglect the priest within. All of us have the tribe of Levi in us. How do we “feed” them? How do we “clothe” them? By doing this work inside we can achieve harmony!

What are your thoughts?