Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 10 Cheshvan, 5784
Parsha Lekh Lekha: (Genesis 12:1 -17:27) 
Fourth Portion: Genesis 14:1 -20

Today’s passage is all about war. It was really confusing for me to read when I first did.

Here’s a summary I wrote two years ago:

Part 1:

There are nine kings. There was a rebellion and five kings rebelled against the major king (it seems) whose name was Chedorlaomer. The five kings included the kings of sodom and gamorrah.

In the 14th year of the rebellion, Chedorlaomer came down and really did a number on the rebellion it seems. The five kings got together and fought together against Chedorlaomer and three other kings. Although there were five kings, Chedorlaomer and his allies won.

Chedorlaomer and his allies took all the possessions from Sodom and Gamorrah and left. This included Lot.

Part 2:

What happens next is extraordinary. Basically, Abram finds out Lot has been taken, and he takes action. He sends (get this) 318 trained men to pursue Chedorlaomer and his allies. They split up and smote Chedorlaomer. They brought back all of the possessions including Lot and his family.

So. A battle between nine kings last 14 years, but Abram sends 318 men in (what sounds like) one night.

Closing:

Then, a tenth king (Melchizedek) comes forth and meets with Abram. (Hebrew writings believe this king was actually Shem son of Noah). He brought out bread and wine to bless Abram. (The Talmud suggests this was to let Abram know Melchizedek wasn’t mad that Abram had killed the people of Elam who were the descendants of Melchizedek). King Melchizedek blesses Abram with a major blessing!

In response, Abram gave Melchizedek 10% of everything he owned.

Now – the question is – how do we navigate this?

One of the takeaways from this passage is the concept of “wounds.” Imagine the trauma of Sodom and Gamorah going through all of this. They rebelled, had the numbers to win (5 kings against 4) and lost. They were taken away and then rescued by 318 men. The psychological trauma of that would be incredible! I’m chewing on this as I know what is coming and what befalls sodom and gamorah.

The battle internally is real for all of us. What “wounds” exist from the battle? Even if the battle is currently raging inside of us? How has the battle impacted us?

Freedom is letting go of the battle.  318 men defeated the greatest king of the time.  Hashem is with us. The war is external and internal. We can’t fight the external war. Just the one within. In each moment.

And. We can’t get stuck on the previous battle.  We can only focus on the battle of the moment. Begin again. Are we living lives of love? Are we living lives of Shalom (peace)? Or are we living lives where we take action externally that reflects the past war raging within we have not let go of?  Are we trying to go back in time and win that previous war because we haven’t accepted the loss, or are we moving forward in the moment to make the best decisions and responses in this moment?

This is the takeaway.  What has the trauma done to us? Will we be triggered by our Trauma, the way Sodom and Gamora was? Or will we build resilience from the trauma like Abram and Lot were? Post traumatic growth and resilience. That’s the key to the Torah. That is the key to loving ourselves and others.

We cannot STOP the war. We cannot undo the Trauma we’ve experienced.  Abram and Lot did NOTHING in today’s portion that warranted Lot being taken.  And instead of freaking out, Abram trusted Hashem and took action. Out of love. For Lot.

Let’s add to the learning we’ve been working on:

• The Path of Ascension begins with curiosity and not judgement
• If someone’s curiosity causes doubt and defensiveness, be curious about our own doubt and defensiveness and NOT their motives for curiosity.
• The tree of life is within us. Choose life within with curiosity and not judgment
• Learn to balance the comfort of stumbling, with the challenge of pushing ourselves towards spiritual growth.
• Let go of a stable life. Freedom is accepting “what is” as a blessing. We can’t control what happens. We can only navigate it with bitterness or flow.
• Freedom requires balance – emotions vs intellect, humility vs confidence, thinking as an individual while staying meaningfully connected to others.
• Freedom comes from expansion and not contraction – but contraction is important to the process of expansion
• Trauma comes from losing wars we had no control over. We can get stuck in those losses, or move forward and “begin again” and see the possibility of winning the current battle we are in because Hashem is in us (with our Neshama).  Losing the war isn’t meant to imprison us forever – it may be a way for us to appreciate the freedom coming. Post Traumatic Growth and Resilience.  

That’s my takeaway. What is yours?

Here is my commentary from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 8 Cheshvan, 5783

We are more than halfway to the new moon this month, so it’s interesting that we read this passage today. Looking back a year ago, I can see the depth of my journey over the past year. I was just beginning to turn inward when it comes to the Torah. The idea of the battle inside of us; and how we love ourselves the way Abram loves Lot.

There is immense power and love inside. Reading the comments from a year ago encapsulate this even further.

What battle is raging inside of us today? It’s interesting as I was journaling and meditating this morning how the external battle was impacting the internal battle. Then I read someone’s comment below and began to wonder which came first? Was my internal battle drawing this external battle to me?

The comment on Sodom’s connection to their military loss is deeply fascinating.

And I reflect on what I can do to return to internal harmony and power. To focus on my own internal thoughts and feelings; to stand internally from a place of strength and power, instead of internal chaos and weakness.

I can’t control the external in as much as I can’t control someone else and what they do. All I can do is focus on me; my body and what it is trying to communicate, my mind, my soul.

Thoughts?

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 7 Heshvan, 5782

Today’s portion begins with a history lesson. I had to read and reread it a few times to really figure out what was happening.

There are nine kings. There was a rebellion and five kings rebelled against the major king (it seems) whose name was Chedorlaomer. The five kings included the kings of sodom and gamorrah.

In the 14th year of the rebellion, Chedorlaomer came down and really did a number on the rebellion it seems. The five kings got together and fought together against Chedorlaomer and three other kings. Although there were five kings, Chedorlaomer and his allies won.

Chedorlaomer and his allies took all the possessions from Sodom and Gamorrah and left. This included Lot.

Was all of this exposition. JUST so we can discover that Lot was taken? What was the point of the amount of detail about this war? In thinking about it, I turn inward. Where is the war raging inside of me? The battle of rebellion internally?

I think Hashem wants us to see the battle because it lays the foundation of what’s to come.

Which is this…

What happens next is extraordinary. Basically, Abram finds out Lot has been taken, and he takes action. He sends (get this) 318 trained men to pursue Chedorlaomer and his allies. They split up and smote Chedorlaomer. They brought back all of the possessions including Lot and his family.

So. A battle between nine kings last 14 years, but Abram sends 318 men in (what sounds like) one night.

Then, a tenth king (Melchizedek) comes forth and meets with Abram. (Hebrew writings believe this king was actually Shem son of Noah). He brought out bread and wine to bless Abram. (The Talmud suggests this was to let Abram know Melchizedek wasn’t mad that Abram had killed the people of Elam who were the descendants of Melchizedek). King Melchizedek blesses Abram with a major blessing!

In response, Abram gave Melchizedek 10% of everything he owned.

One interesting note is that Rabbi Menachem Azariah da Fano in the 16th-17th century writes:

“After Noah left the ark, he desired to offer sacrifices to God. However, since Noah was bitten by a lion in the ark (Midrash Tanhuma), he was disqualified from doing so because Torah states that sacrifices may only be offered by a person devoid of bodily blemish. That is how Shem, Noah’s son, was appointed as “a priest to the supreme God.””

One of the takeaways from this passage is the concept of “wounds.” Imagine the trauma of Sodom and Gamorah going through all of this. They rebelled, had the numbers to win (5 kings against 4) and lost. They were taken away and then rescued by 318 men. The psychological trauma of that would be incredible! I’m chewing on this as I know what is coming and what befalls sodom and gamorah.

The battle internally is real for all of us. What “wounds” exist from the battle? Even if the battle is currently raging inside of us? How has the battle impacted us?

And yet, there is hope. We know Hashem wins the battle easily. We know Lot ends up surviving what happens to Sodom and Gamorah. Do our “wounds” bring us to ruin? Or do we find healing? Where does that healing come from?

Who is our Abram that can save us from the battle inside? One piece I missed- how did Abram come to find out what happened to Lot? From the Torah; “a runaway came and informed Abram.”

I’m chewing on this. How often are we fighting internally, and we don’t send a runaway to ask Hashem for help? Sometimes we are called to lean into the battle; but other times we need to runaway and get help. How are we getting help in the battle?

For me? I’m getting help by developing my meditation and mindfulness practice. By reading Torah daily. By connecting with Hashem by davening (and wrapping tefillin) regularly.

And although the battle still wages, I am learning more and more to trust. To trust that Hashem can single handedly rescue me from being taken away. And then (ultimately) heal me from the wounds of past battles.