Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 10 Kislev, 5785

Good morning! Today’s passage brings fullness to light of our hearts. Today we navigate the reconciliation of Jacob and Esau.  And? Depending on your perspective and reality? We will read this passage in multiple ways.

Approach 1: We are Jacob, living in suffering, misery, fear and anxiety over his past with Esau. He feels guilt and shame over what he did – he schemed Esau out of his birthright, he deceived his father to claim the blessing. He is trying to appease Esau with gifts.

Approach 2: We are Esau, having grieved as Isaac had instructed him to do:

27:40And you shall live by your sword, and you shall serve your brother, and it will be, when you grieve, that you will break his yoke off your neck.”

We are free of our anger towards Jacob. We have lived a good live since Jacob departed.

Approach 3: We are Jacob, scared and afraid of Esau, and we are going to scheme to get ourselves out of this place.

How we approach this passage today? How we will walk away.

Because you see, either Jacob was shrewd and wise, or his fear impacted him, and he ended up sending his family into slavery.

Because, if Jacob did what he said – met Esau on mount Seir? Good chance we would not have ended up as slaves.

And, everything unfolded as it should.

The lesson seems to continue to be:

If we have an identity and heart of misery and fear? The universe will continue to reflect that back on us.

If we have an identity of bliss? Grief will bring us back into this bliss. Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

We have four choices:

• Continue to suffer (and run away like Jacob)
• Change how we think about the situation (like we can as we observe the story today and see Esau having grieved and living in peace)
• Control our controllables (like both Jacob and Esau did – Jacob left, Esau went and waited for Jacob)
• Radical acceptance (we can accept the multiverse of realities here we can observe)

What will you choose today?

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 16 Kislev, 5784
Parsha Va-Yishlah (Genesis 32:4 – 36:43)
Fourth Portion: 33:6- 33:20

As we move now away from the light of the fullness of the moon, and to a new moon which brings with it darkness and opportunity (to set intentions for the next time the light shines) let us consider the lessons brought to full light the past few days and how we will integrate them.  With this spirit, let’s dig into the portion today.  We left off with Esau and Jacob reuniting. Esau asked “who are all these people?”  And Jacob introducing Esau to his nieces and nephews:

6And the maidservants and their children drew near and prostrated themselves.

7And Leah and her children drew near and prostrated themselves, and after [them], Joseph and Rachel drew near and prostrated themselves.

Esau then questions Jacob – why did you send these gifts to me?  And we need to go back to the lessons yesterday. Tone. Are we bringing a tone that Esau is deceiving Jacob? Or are we bringing a tone that Esau is really curious?   How we read Esau’s question determines how we receive the messages, doesn’t it?

And if we believe Esau is being deceitful, where in the Torah is the evidence he is being deceitful? Is that a reality we’ve created in our head? Is that a reality we believe because of the experts and commentary that have come before?

And what if the Torah is meant to leave this vague – and how our hearts approach this passage will give us the gifts we bring to it? If we are giving gifts out of fear (if that is our read from Jacob) – will we only receive fear in return?

If we are giving gifts out of trust in Hashem – that HE is the one guiding the interaction – and we should assume good intent? Maybe the gifts we get back in return will be different?  Let’s keep going:

8And he said, “What is to you [the purpose of] all this camp that I have met?” And he said, “To find favor in my master’s eyes.”

9But Esau said, “I have plenty, my brother; let what you have remain yours.”

10Thereupon Jacob said, “Please no! If indeed I have found favor in your eyes, then you shall take my gift from my hand, because I have seen your face, which is like seeing the face of an angel, and you have accepted me.

11Now take my gift, which has been brought to you, for God has favored me [with it], and [because] I have everything.” He prevailed upon him, and he took [it].

This is an interesting exchange isn’t it? And we can read it multiple ways, depending on our approach.  If we read this from a place where Esau has grieved and has removed Jacob’s power from him, then Esau is being genuine.  If we read this from a place where Esau is conniving? This reads very different.

And – are we struggling because we want to read this accurately? Are we looking for the “right” way to read this? Or maybe the Torah is telling us – there is no “right” in how we read this – it is meant to be unclear to generate conversation and deepen our learning? Can we accept this? Or do we fight for accuracy?

Let’s keep going:

12Thereupon, he said, “Travel and we will go, and I will go alongside you.”

13And he said to him, “My master knows that the children are tender, and the flocks and the cattle, which are raising their young, depend upon me, and if they overdrive them one day, all the flocks will die.

14Now, let my master go ahead before his servant, and I will move [at] my own slow pace, according to the pace of the work that is before me and according to the pace of the children, until I come to my master, to Seir.”

15Thereupon Esau said, “Let me leave with you some of the people who are with me.” But he said, “Why [do] that? May I find favor in my master’s eyes.”

So this is fascinating.  Esau has accepted the gifts of Jacob. Esau is basically saying “I will go with you.”  We could read this as a threat – I want to stay close to you, because I am angry and want to do you harm.  Or we could read this from a place of harmony and peace; “I will go with you because I want to spend as much time with you to make up for lost time and protect you with my people because I love you.”

Both of those are POSSIBLE.  And yet, we read that passage a certain way. 

And I’d argue? This is how we end up in Egypt. Because Jacob’s response can be read a few different ways as well, can’t it? “I appreciate your generosity, but we will slow you down – let’s meet up at Seir!”  Or “I don’t trust you so stay in front of me so I can keep my eye on you!”

What happens next?

16So Esau returned on that day on his way to Seir.

17And Jacob traveled to Succoth and built himself a house, and for his cattle he made booths; therefore he named the place Succoth.

18And Jacob came safely [to] the city of Shechem, which is in the land of Canaan, when he came from Padan aram, and he encamped before the city.

19And he bought the part of the field where he had pitched his tent from the sons of Hamor, the father of Shechem, for a hundred kesitas.

20There he erected an altar, and he named it “God is the God of Israel.”

Um. Ok. So we KNOW better what Jacob’s approach was.  We know he never goes to Seir. He went home instead. Shechem. So basically he deceived Esau. Jacob being Jacob.

Now before we JUDGE Jacob’s actions here – this is ALSO unfolding EXACTLY how it was supposed to.  We don’t read that Esau got angry and Jacob ghosting him.  We don’t read Esau chasing Jacob down because he was deceived.  The story moves AWAY from Esau and focuses on Jacob.

Jacob’s approach leads him AWAY from Seir – which may be where he would have ended up if we allowed things to unfold WITH Esau – and goes to Shechem.  And. My opinion here? This is another way we end up in Egypt.

Jacob had good intentions here. He was being wise it would seem. He was protecting his family.  We can’t judge Jacob.  He didn’t do the “wrong” thing by any stretch of the imagination.  We can be CURIOUS here – and not judge. And we will continue the path of spiritual liberation and freedom.

Those are my thoughts.  What are yours?