Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 11 Tamuz, 5783

Good morning! Today’s double portion continues the story of Balak and Balaam.  Balak wants Balaam to curse the Israelites. Balaam is here (remember) because he wants a profit.  Hashem told him to go with Balak if he believed it was going to be “profitable.”  However, Balaam was warned to only say the words Hashem told him to.

In this double portion, Balak shows Balaam Israel – Balaam surveys Israel and Balaam speaks the words Hashem gives him – blessings.

And I realize this morning – one the key passages in today’s reading?

Balaam says “He (God) observed no evil idolaters among Jacob, and has seen no transgressions. Even when Jacob rebels, God, his God, is with him: he has the King’s affection.”

He. Has. The. King’s Affection.

Even. When. He. Rebels.

I am sitting with that.

How much do we spend our lives looking for OTHERS to give us affection? To bless us? To want us? To desire us?

And yet, we already have the King’s Affection. He loves us. Not just in some way we can’t understand or feel. We have his AFFECTION!

So – what do we do with this? Realize – we may have “enemies” who desire us to suffer. To be cursed. And yet? The King won’t allow it.

The Torah talks about many times where Hashem did allow the Israelites to suffer. But it was because (in my opinion) he was leading them in a direction, and they wanted to go against Him.

I picture a dog pulling his leash.  The owner knows more where he wants to take the dog. Where it is safe.  I have a friend who I walk dogs with. It’s a country road with lots of cars coming and going.  The dogs are unaware of the cars approaching.  We need to pull on their leashes to get them to the side of the road to feel safe.

I would imagine, the dogs feel the tug on their leash and it feels oppressive.  Like “WTH! I just want to be free and go over THERE!!!”  And yet, the owner of the dogs know that going over there is not going to lead them to freedom – it will end their time on this earth.

How often do we mistake our suffering with resisting the universe guiding us?  How often do we mistake our suffering with someone ELSE trying to get the better of us?

The King will not allow us to suffer unless it is a blessing.  EVEN WHEN WE REBEL.  If we do suffer – it’s because we are trusting something OTHER Than Hashem.

So – the rejection letter you got for that job you wanted? Maybe that’s pulling you away from a car moving towards you?  The notice you got to vacate your apartment? Maybe that is because something else is opening up for you that is a blessing?

At some point we need to trust the moment.

Balak is a UNIQUE parsha in that it is told from the perspective of someone OTHER than Israel.  We are seeing it from Balak and Balaam’s point of view.  With Hashem.  They are unable to do much with this current strategy. BECAUSE WE HAVE THE KINGS AFFECTION!!!

So no – others’ judgment doesn’t define your reality – unless you allow it to.  How we judge ourselves? That is what defines reality.

I will close with this quote I read this morning from Mark Nepo’s Book of Awakening:

“In exchange for the promise of security, many people put a barrier between themselves and the adventures in consciousness that could put a while new light on their personal lives” – June Singer

I love this quote. It seems to us that OTHERS’ definitions of who we are feels much more secure than the adventures in consciousness within that could transform our lives.  Imagine the adventures in consciousness we’ve been on with the Torah over the past two years!  I believe this is indeed the light of the Torah – leading us from the security of slavery into the freedom that comes from the adventures in consciousness.

Those are my thoughts!  What are yours?

Here is my commentary from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 14 Tamuz, 5782

Good morning!

Before we jump into the Torah, it is important to remember that the month of Tamuz is a Paradox of Darkness and light. It is the month we were supposed to receive the Torah. But we chose the golden calf instead. This created a month of darkness. But our goal is to learn to see in the dark!

Tonight is the full moon. That means the moon shines its brightest in Tamuz tonight. Today is the middle of the dark month of Tamuz, leading us to a night where the moon shines brightest. This is something to really behold!

And what is the moon? Does the moon produce light? No. It reflects light. It reflects it most this month tonight. So is it with us. Maybe?

We don’t necessarily produce light. The source of light is within us: the Neshama. Our goal is to reflect that light brightly for the world to see in the dark. We are designed for the purpose of reflecting light so that we may see, and so that others may see in the darkness as well.

What do we need to shine? The moon doesn’t require anything to shine, other than the sun. It naturally shines at certain times of the month and it doesn’t at other times. Do we judge the moon for the light or lack of light? We do not.

Maybe our light goes in phases as well? Maybe we should be curious about our own light instead of judging ourselves harshly about the light we aren’t producing. Because even after the new moon, a sliver of the moon’s crescent can still produce light in the sky for us to see.

My hope is the Torah studies we have been engaged with reflect light in all of our lives.

Let’s dig in!

We experienced yesterday Balaam encountering an ass and listening to God. He goes to Balak and they meet.

So Balaam goes with Balak to Kiriath-Huzoth. Balak slaughters and animal and a sheep and sent them to Balaam and his dignitaries.

Then Balak took Balaam and brought him up to Bamoth-Baal. Balaam could see part of the people from there.

Balaam then speaks to Balak and asks him to Build Balaam 7 altars, prepare 7 bulls and 7 rams.

Balak did this. Then Balaam and Balak offered up a ram and bull on each altar.

Question: did Balaam do this because God asked him to? Or did he do this on his own? I don’t know. Maybe we will find out.

Ok. Balaam tells Balak to stand with the burnt offerings while he goes for a walk. He tells Balak, maybe God will show Balaam something for Balak.

Balaam goes and God appeared. God put words in Balaam’s mouth. “Return to Balak and say as follows…” we don’t get more than that. Yet. The Torah leaves us hanging.

Balaam returns to Balak and tells him this parable:

“From Aram, Balak has brought me; the King of Moab has brought me from the east mountains. Balak says “curse Jacob for me, come and bring anger against Israel. But how can I condemn one whom God has not condemned? How can I bring anger, if God has not been angered? I see them from the head of the rocks, I look at them from the hills. It is a nation that will dwell alone, and will not be reckoned with the nations.

Who has counted the infants of Jacob? Or the number of the divisions of Israel? May my soul sue the death of the upright, and let my end be like his.”

Full stop. What is going on here? First, the Hebrew word for infants used here is ’afar.

Rabbi Schneerson had some interesting writings on this:

‘Afar refers to the infants of the house of Jacob, about whom it was written, “I will make your descendants like the soil (‘afar) of the earth (Targum Onkelos). Targum Onkelos renders, “The infants of the house of Jacob.”

Another interpretation: Afar yaakov means “the soil of Jacob” suggesting that the number of commandments they fulfil with soil are innumerable: “You may not plow with an ox and a donkey together” (Deuteronomy 22:10), “You should not sow your field with a mixture of seeds” (Leviticus 19:19), the ashes of the Red Heifer (Numbers 19:1) the soil of the sotah (‘wayward wife”-ibid., 5:17), and others similar to these (Rashi, 11’ century).

There is an inner connection between Rashi’s two interpretations of verse 10, that the verse refers to “infants” or “soil.” The highest possible level of observing the commandments is with humility and complete dedication, regardless of understanding. This is alluded to by soil, which is: (a) lowly, representing humility; and, (b) plain, alluding to a pure and simple service of God.

By observing commandments in the manner of “soil,” Rashi’s second interpretation, you elicit Rashis first interpretation, that God will look upon you with the inherent love that a father has for his “infant.”

It’s an interesting word picture. If we serve and do good (mitzvahs, commandments) from a place of humility and plainness, God will look upon us like a father looks upon his infant!

And Balak recognized this. He was like “wtf, Balaam!” He basically said “I asked you to curse the Israelites, but you just blessed them!”

Balaam’s response was once again reminding Balak that he could only say that which God puts into his mouth. And that is how things end.

My takeaway here is around how darkness (cursing) can’t happen to the Israelites unless God does it. The judgments of others – the cursing of us from others means nothing if the Creator of the universe sees our light. This inspires me more to be light! How about you? To be like the full moon and shine in the darkness!

What are your thoughts?

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 15 Tamuz, 5782

Today is the mid point of the month! We had a full moon last night. I hope we continue to focus on seeing in the darkness and allowing ourselves to fully reflect the light of our souls!

Let’s dig in!

Yesterday we read about Balaam speaking a parable to Balak, and Balak recognizing that instead of cursing the Israelites, Balaam was blessing them.

Today’s portion begins with Balak taking Balaam to a different place to see the children of Israel. The idea was the place Balak was taking Balaam would only allow him to see a part of the people – and figured that would give Balaam the opportunity to curse some of the people and not all of them.

They did the same thing. They built 7 altars and offered up a bull and ram on each one. Balaam tells balak to stand next to his burnt offering, that God might happen to appear to Balaam.

God shows up, and the Torah tells us God put something in Balaam’s mouth to coerce it to speak positively about Israel. He tells Balaam to go back to Balak and tell him…

Balaam tells Balak that you can’t manipulate God. God has given Balaam words to bless, so he will bless the Israelites.

Balaam says “He (God) observed no evil idolaters among Jacob, and has seen no transgressions. Even when Jacob rebels, God, his God, is with him: he has the King’s affection.”

Wow. I want the King’s affection!!!

Balaam then speaks more; “In that future time the angels will say to Jacob and Israel; “What has God done?” For Israel will be closer to God than angels.”

Wow. Rabbi Schneerson had this to say:

The words “in that time,” are a hint that when the world reaches twice its age at the time when Balaam said his parable (2488 years from Creation), then prophecy will return to the Jewish people. There is no doubt that this is a prelude to the Messiah (Maimonides)

Indeed, around the year 4976 (1216) we find a number of sages among the Jewish people who were known for their prophetic insight: Rabbi Samuel b. Kalonymus ha-Navi (“The Prophet”) or he-Hasid (“The Pious”) of Speyer (12th century); his son Rabbi Judah b. Samuel he-Hasid (“The Pious”) of Regensburg (12th – 13th century); Rabbi Eleazar b. Judah of Worms, author of Sefer ha-Rokeah (12th – 13th century); Nahmanides (13th century): Rabbi Abraham b. David of Posquières (12th century); and the Tosafist, Rabbi Ezra ha-Navi (“The Prophet”) of Montcontour (12th – 13th century).

Unfortunately, this era of prophecy did not immediately lead to the Redemption.

Nevertheless, years later Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov (18th century) and his successors openly demonstrated the prophetic spirit once again–and there is no doubt that this is a prelude to the Messiah! (End quote)

The Torah portion finishes as yesterdays did. Basically, Balaam blesses the people and Balak is dumbfounded; “if you’re not going to curse them, at least don’t bless them!”

And Balaam’s response is the same; “I will only do whatever God says!”

What are your thoughts?