Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 12 Adar, 5785

We are in a shift – Purim is coming up. Tomorrow night begins the remembrance of Hashem’s faithfulness and Esther’s courage.

We are shifting in the the energy of turbulence.  This turbulence is supposed to develop within us the gift of humanity and the prize of compassion.

So if things get a little rocky? Realize it is so that we can relate to each other – as ALL OF US experience this turbulence. So have some compassion for yourself!

Today’s portion is about being seen – and seeing. Showing up. And trusting Hashem to go before us – both in sight and in time. The universe loves us. And if we recognize it? We will see it with our own eyes – in this moment and future moments.

This is the message.

What are your thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 19 Adar 1, 5784
Parsha Ki-Tissa: (Exodus 30:11 – 34:35)
Fourth Portion: Exodus 33:17 – 33:23

Good morning. So yesterday, we saw Moses challenge Hashem.  Today? Hashem responds. I’ll confess the first time I read this? I was surprised by Hashem’s response. Now, I know what to expect in his response here:

17And the Lord said to Moses: “Even this thing that you have spoken, I will do, for you have found favor in My eyes, and I have known you by name.”

Just sit with this.

Hashem took direction from Moses.

Hashem communicates Moses has found favor with Hashem.

Hashem knows Moses by name.

The name Moses means “to draw out of the water.”  Moses is about flow. Moses reminded Hashem of the flow and trajectory of what Hashem had already done. 

Did Hashem forget? I don’t believe that is true.

I wonder.

Did Moses “standing up” to Hashem create a sense of being seen by Moses for Hashem? Did Hashem feel understood in that moment?

I relate this as a dad. With six kids.

Sometimes my kids call me out – and they are absolutely right to. Because they call me out in a way that is about the values and alignment and mission I have shared with them, and they are pointing out I am not being consistent. They see me. And see what I am doing. And that feels amazing – even though they see the decision I made was wrong.

Likewise, when I do something different that is part of my growth and development process? They call me out on that TOO. They like to go back to the past and share how “before” I would act and behave in ways that are not consistent with my current practice. And example of this would be when I no longer get angry at spills or disruptions to the flow of life. They come to expect me to yell and emotionally react out of my trauma, and when I don’t, they quickly point it out.  They ALSO point out when I challenge them on a behavior I used to engage in.  They learned that behavior from me. Again, they see me. And are pointing out a change.

Do we look at this as an opportunity to be understood and seen? Or do we look at this as someone being “stuck” in the past? That is what I am reflecting on.

Hashem felt seen by Moses. Moses pointed out that the decision Hashem was making was not in line with his values and goals.

Why did Hashem do this, if He knew this was the case? Hashem isn’t dumb.

Well. My take? Hashem wanted Moses to KNOW that Moses understood Hashem.  So He made the decision He did so that Moses would have the opportunity to see Hashem’s purpose. In that case, the story makes more sense, doesn’t it?

Let’s keep digging:

18And he said: “Show me, now, Your glory!”

Moses takes this and doubles down. This isn’t hubris – this is excitement. Moses must have felt AMAZING to have Hashem say “I see you. I know you. You have found favor.”  And Moses responded – LET’S GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  No delays!  Hashem responds:

19He said: “I will let all My goodness pass before you; I will proclaim the name of the Lord before you, and I will favor when I wish to favor, and I will have compassion when I wish to have compassion.”

20And He said, “You will not be able to see My face, for man shall not see Me and live.”

21And the Lord said: “Behold, there is a place with Me, and you shall stand on the rock.

22And it shall be that when My glory passes by, I will place you into the cleft of the rock, and I will cover you with My hand until I have passed by.

23Then I will remove My hand, and you will see My back but My face shall not be seen.”

Hashem tells Moses – you got it. Here we go:

• All My Goodness will pass before you
• I will proclaim My name before you
• I will favor when I wish to favor
• I will have compassion when I wish to have compassion.

Let’s consider the term “before you.”  We have to ask ourselves – is the word “before” a word denoting time or space?

Yes.

It’s likely both/and.

Let me back up. Let me rewrite what Hashem says to Moses in a way that illustrates this:

• All My Goodness will pass before you. This could mean:
  • All My Goodness is going to pass right in front of you in each moment, and you will see it
  • All My Goodness is going to be ahead of you in the timeline. As you arrive in each moment, I will have ALREADY worked to show my goodness with everyone and everything else you come into contact with. You may NOT see it, but it will be there. Trust it.
• I will proclaim My name before you. This could mean:
  • I will proclaim My name clearly in the moment you arrive in – and you will hear my name clearly.
  • I will proclaim My name to everything and everyone you come into contact with BEFORE you arrive in that moment. You may not see it in that moment – but it’s there.

The idea here is whether the word “before” means “In Front of Moses” or “Ahead of Moses”

And that is what I am contemplating on this morning.

Hashem goes before us. His Goodness. His Name. In every moment we come to. Can we receive it? Or do we resist it. Do we dig soooooo deep – overanalyze that we cannot see it because we are missing what is right in front of us?

What are your thoughts?